Monday, August 25, 2008

Fun with Star Wars Quotes

Ever wonder what is was like to be a baby Skywalker on Tatooine?

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru standing in front of a toddler Luke at the dinner table….

“Use the fork, Luke. Use the fork.”

The whole damn planet is sand too. Talk about your sand box! Think of the sand castles HE could have made. Unkowingly using some of the force to solidify the sand into a 14 acre adventure park and fort…awesome! All the while voices in his head are saying

“Remember Luke, the fort will always be with you…”

Yeah, it was a rough time for him when he was 8 and realized that Uncle Owen wasn’t a famous ruler or a king. He remembers it vividly

“Luke. I am a farmer” to which he responds “Nooooooooooo….that’s impossible”

But seriously, what’s all the fuss? Why’d he ever want to leave? It had to be an easy farming gig. Moisture farming? Come on…just round up the local drunks from town and have them wandering aimlessly across your desert farm and you’ll have a ton of ‘moisture’ from their sweaty-ass bodies.

Life on the farm couldn’t have been that much work. Plus, think of all the goodies you could buy at the space port. Uncle Owen used to say to him…

“Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of gum and candy.”

And who wouldn’t have wanted a whole bunch of droids at their disposal as a kid? Luke could have had them all set up like those toy football games where the board vibrates and creates plays for you. They would be programmed into two teams and he’d be the running back while they execute their whacky movements. One of them would say:

“You’re all clear, kid! Now let’s blow this thing and go for the touchdown!”

I’m sure though he played hooky from church with all that fun at his disposal. I’ll bet Uncle Own sat him down with the usual lecture…

“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

Yeah, I’ve got to chalk it up to teenage mentality as to why he’d want to leave and enlist in some military like capacity. That’s like a job! Apparently he didn’t have enough force clarity to realize that! Well, I guess having your adopted parents char-broiled from blasters might change things I suppose…

27 comments:

Roy Scribner said...

Tatooine - wow, that's an impressive piece of trivia right there! Exactly how many of those little plastic figures (unopened, of course) do you have?

VE said...

roy - Amazingly...none! But I do have a son that thinks he knows more than me (and who are we kidding...he does...I don't know the names of all those bounty hunters...)

Roy Scribner said...

There is no hope for either of us; my kids are all amped over this new "leggo wars" or whatever it's called. Now a whole new generation is going to be absorbed into the force - lol

VE said...

roy - That whole Lego software thing is just weird. Now why would I want to play Star Wars as Lego people on my computer or game system?

Quickroute said...

those Danish folks have a lot to answer for inventing that awful Lego toy. How many wasted hours I had - worse than playstation!

Michelle Ann said...

I could never get into Star Wars...but I did dabble in Battlestar Galactica. But it could have just been that I had the biggest hot mess crush on Dirk Benedict.

VE said...

quickroute - Yeah, my son has these monster Star Wars ships that were so much effort to build and so fragile that he never plays with them...they sit on a shelf for fear they'll fall apart. What a waste...

michelle ann - I was never a Star Wars fanatic but I did enjoy them and they're fun blog post fodder. I never watched Battlestar at all. But I don't really watch TV so that's probably the difference.

Megan said...

You had me at "use the fork."

And I know the names of all those bounty hunters, by the way. Blame my misspent youth...

VE said...

megan - One of them was "DOG", right?

Kurt said...

I'm confused about the new Star Wars movie. Is it animated? Why? Please explain.

VE said...

kurt - Yeah, that one is a movie spinoff of the kids animated series they've been doing. They then fit it into the real movie timeline somewhere between II and III. All of that confuses everyone and I don't think they helped the franchise making it. I hear it isn't that great...

Jeff said...

I hear an audio post coming your way. Use the breathing from Darth Vader and the moaning from Chewbacca and suddenly you're creating a porn soundtrack!

Dee said...

the movie trailer shows the Star Wars Empire Strikes back, where Obi Wan tells Luke that he fought along side his father in the Clone Wars.
Looked pretty good to me.

Megan said...

I have the lightsaber noise as an alternate ring tone. I use it at conventions as a way to fit in without having to wear the ubiquitous Leia Slave Girl costume...

Serena Joy said...

Now I understand why there was something just a little off about Luke. BTW, Jeff's suggestion is brilliant.:-)

Practically Joe said...

I've been out of the Star Wars loop ... Hell ... the who Sci-fi Loop ... I still have trouble watching Boston Legal where Captain Kirk of the Star Trek Enterprise is a senior partner of the law firm.

VE said...

jeff - Ha ha. I think perhaps you have more experience in that industry that I knew about...

dee - I was in the first public audience for the Return of the Jedi (along with the cast, etc.). It was something my friend was really into and we ended up camping out in line for 3 days. Yes, very ridiculous, but it was a fun party...

megan - Ah come on, you must look spectacular in those hair buns! ha ha

sj - That Jeff, he's a crafty fellow. I'll keep him around...

joe - Seeing him in anything but Star Trek is just wrong. Hell, seeing him all plump is just wrong.

Matt-Man said...

You have put me in the mood to go down to the bar and pick up a hot piece of Wookie. Cheers!!

VE said...

matt-man - Ha ha. That doesn't surprise me in the least!

leelee said...

Watch This:


Star Wars Fun


HUGS!!

VE said...

Ha! Perfect! Stars is just so easy to create blog material off of. It's almost unfair!

Mr Farty said...

Crap puns lead to suffering.

VE said...

mr farty - and suffering leads to anger and anger is a one way ticket to the dark side!

C said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh! VE, you had me laughing like crazy with the Star Wars quotes!

Where on earth do you come up with these? Too funny! Keep these amazing posts coming!

VE said...

C - The trouble with Star Wars posts is you have to have an audience that has seen them enough to get the post.

Maureen said...

Sure.

Sure.

Do a Star Wars post when I am on vacation...

I've been a SW geek since 1977, but I STILL refuse to get those idiotic new toys at McDs... gahh!

Lurve the re-quotes, BTW. May the Fork Be With You.

VE said...

maureen - I know. I was bummed when you didn't see this one. I was waiting for you to correct me on all the incorrect stuff on it! ;)