Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Practical Living

I need to get out and experience America. Living in the city is expensive. It’s time to get a little more practical….

First of all, I believe in reuse. No better place to start than the home. There’s nothing like a unique dream home that takes advantage of my reuse beliefs.

I need to start getting practical about my whimsical purchases too. Grandma doesn’t need that damn expensive senior scooter. I rigged up this device so she can go on those extensive shopping sessions.

I needed a fence and a gate to put around my miserable side yard. The new ones seemed expensive and unnecessary. I went ahead and used existing materials to make a fine regal looking one.

Multi-use is good too. I found that existing luxuries can sometimes create other luxuries with just a little imagination. Hence the Jacuzzi…

Of course, if you’re going to live in the country you should have some cows. That’s just the way it is. But those big trailers to haul them around are expensive and you use a lot of gas towing it. I decided on a more economical approach…

And if I really did want to take a camping vacation with an RV, well, I thought I could rig up a motor home with existing materials around the county.

This is just good wholesome living people! Plus, it gave me more money to purchase a home stereo…

31 comments:

lime said...

and with your metal walls that new sound system should make the whole place really shake!

Michelle Ann said...

That poor cow cracks me up! Our friend has a motorized ice chest with a seat and helmet. Hilarious!

Evil Genius said...

That jacuzzi idea is pure genious! Why, I bet you could sell the rights to it and make MILLIONS!!!
At least until the first lawsuit.

LOLOL - this was hysterical. I needed some laughs today, so thanks for that!!!!

Jeff said...

What I want to know is... what internet are you browsing? Whenever I'm looking for an odd picture I can never seem to find what I need but you consistently dredge up all the wacky pictures you need to support your Fantastical Nonsense. What is your secret VE?

leelee said...

That jacuzzi idea scares me...those PROPS!! ouch!!

Beth said...

Had no idea you were such a handyman!
I'm impressed.

Kanrei said...

I love the toilet! The jacuzzi scares me to be honest...something about a spinning blade so close to my...well, you know.

Roy Scribner said...

Is that Mike Jones' stereo? (esoteric Portland music scene reference)

Jacki said...

Looking at that jacuzzi...I think it's a good thing guys experience a bit of shrinkage. Just sayin'.

And I bet some Walmart shoppers would love to have that mobile toilet scooter.

Megan said...

Genius!!!

iamnot said...

I kind of dig the house.

Kurt said...

I've seen that super high end audio gear before. I used to get the magazine, before I grew up.

angie said...

I'm surprised you didn't find a time machine.....because how else do you have the time to track this *amazing* inventions down?

Lori said...

I'm all about that toilet scooter - place to store my beer, place to pee, and no falling down when I've had too many!!

Diesel said...

The cow in the trunk thing took some serious engineering. Who thinks of something like that?

The motor in the jacuzzi idea was stolen from Major League....

ChrisEldin said...

OMG! Those are hysterical!
But that cow... poor lil moo.

Um, the ice packs for the boobs are because it freaking hurts to breastfeed infants. It's not the nice kind of sucking that's done by a skilled lover. It's the "Feed Me Now!" desperate latching onto the nipple and pulling til they almost fall off, but before they fall off they get red and blistered. And the milk. If they're too full, they hurt.
Just wanted to explain....
;-)

Serena Joy said...

I agree that conspicuous consumption has gotten out of hand, but I just gotta draw the line at some of your recycling suggestions. I "might" ride the cow around that way, but that's about as far as I'd go.:)

Meg said...

I love the fence with the door. I'm thinking you should put Edvard Munch's Scream painting in the window.

I came here from Unfinished's site.

Nice blog ;)

VE said...

lime - Yeah, it's gonna totally rock!!!!

michelle ann - That would come in handy cause you can put your beer in there...

evil - You're welcome...just watch the jacuzzi blades...

jeff - I browse a parallel dimension internet; it's much more interesting...

leelee - Yes, best to be on the other side!

beth - I'm actually quite versatile!

kan - Don't be afraid of the water!! Ok...be afraid...

roy - Are you from Portland?

jacki - How did you know that scooter is selling at Walmart now?

megan - Where?

iamnot - It has that wonderful drum feel to it...

kurt - See, there in lies the problem...you grew up

angie - Time is a state of mind...

lori - It's great for supermarket rally races too!

diesel - No way man...they stole it from ME!!!

chris - Ah ha. See, I learn so much from my commenters. Ouch.

sj - Oh come on, you'll be the pride of the neighborhood with that scooter!

meg - Thanks, and welcome. I once used that scream painting on a post and put "Are these the only candidates?" in a word bubble by him...

Bee said...

You know, I always have to pee before i leave my house so that toilet scooter would be perfect for me!

Dee said...

i can't tell you how many times I've needed that senior scooter!

VE said...

bee - No more public restrooms either! That's a good thing...

dee - Think how useful this would be waiting in lines at Disneyland!

Alex L said...

Scary thing is, that scooter is self fueled!

Matt-Man said...

Does the volume on that stereo system go up to 11? Cheers VE!!

VE said...

alex - Ha! Excellent point. Now that's what they call bio fuel!

mattman - Ha! ALL stereos should go to 11...

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

Call me crazy, but I love all these except the boat motor in the hot tub and the cow thing. And the toilet bike would be great for those long, relaxing rides in the country.

GC (God's Child) said...

I think you could market that senior scooter to casino frequenters also

Maureen said...

OMG... where the heck do you FIND these things???

VE said...

arizona - But you could use the cow thing for unruly kids and even husbands if you so desiire. Its built pretty strong...

gc - I think the casino owners themselves would buy and stock them. The less bathroom distractions for them, the more money they make!

maureen - Parallel universes...

Quickroute said...

My wife wants the pink toilet motorbike to go with her pink morola phone - how much??

Bonnie the Boss said...

The toilet car would be helpful for potty training mothers. Is that first building a silo?
About the sound system, you have to have your priorities.