Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Rock and Roll Ice Cream Flavors

Hey, I know everyone. Let’s categorize Rock and Roll bands into what they would be if they were an ice cream flavor. If you are saying to yourself “VE, why would anyone do that?” then you are definitely on the wrong blog. Everybody knows I don’t ask why, I just do it. If I ask why, it’s only something I find funny to ask so…

Okey Dokey, now that we’ve got the “VE is crazy” dialogue out of the way, let’s begin:

Rolling Stones: Tapioca Leather. Now I know what you’re saying here. That’s not a flavor. I’ll admit, it’s a stretch but come on now, we have Tuity Fruity don’t we? I chose this because of their age. It’s the Tapioca years for them. The leather part because…well…have you seen Keith Richard’s face lately? Oh, some of you intellectuals are saying “Leather” isn’t a food item. Well, I’ve ordered a well done steak from Sizzler before and I can assure you that it is.

Madonna: Mud Pie. It’s about the dirtiest flavor there is. I think it fits her nicely. I could see her definitely mud wrestling for money in her pre-“little star” years. Thing is, I probably would have watched it too. Ok, who are we kidding, if she did it even now I’d probably still watch it…yes, I am that shallow.

Prince: Grape. That’s right; Mr. Purple Rain rules the purple flavor. Sure, you might try to convince me it should go to Barney. He sings, right? He’s popular with kids. But then you’d have to convince me that is music. Good luck. And those of you that bring up Moby Grape, that psychedelic 60s band, forget it. First of all, they don’t play them ad-naseum on the classic rock stations like they do other bands. Secondly, the 60s are over: you either missed them or don’t remember. Get over it. Move one!

Gwen Stefani: Cherry. If I have to explain this to you then you live with your mother and paint model cars in your spare time.

James Blunt: Vanilla. Why? Well, many of you know how I feel about this guy. This is about as bland as it gets for me. There’s just no taste here. His last name sums it up! Sure, you might have convinced me to use Milli Vanilli here what with the play-on-words thingy. But remember, they actually had to sing. You might have suggested Vanilla Ice. But then it would be your list then now wouldn’t it? Too bad, so sad. Now that phrase has to be as cliché as Vanilla Ice!

Rihanna: Chocolate. Hey, I don’t have to like her music. Dark, rich, I’m sure you couldn’t get enough of that! Ok ladies, you’re allowed a substitute here should you so desire. I’ll just let you fill in your own!

Van Halen: Banana Split. I almost went with Rocky Road; their road has been quite rocky over the years but I think they’ve all pretty much gone bananas and there have been more splits in their band then Dairy Queen makes in a year!

Metallica: Sour lemon. It gets even more bitter if you try and illegally download it. It’s difficult to find this flavor because you can’t copy the recipe.

Bob Dylan: Reeses Peanut Butter. That’s right, eat a big, big scoop of this and then start singing immediately…you’ll sound just like Bob.

Think you’re as nonsensically clever as VE? Bring it on!

40 comments:

cathouse teri said...

Blunt (James) is a total bore. But then there is Emily Blunt! She ain't! :)

Michelle Ann said...

Love the James Blunt...for me, it's John Mayer. I just don't get it...

NYD said...

Tapioca Leather- That sounds like a name from a 70's porn flick.

James Blunt ain't Vanilla. He's less than bland.

Give Vanilla to Hall and Oats.

While you are at it you might want to give some thought to these:

Green Day - Pistacio. Yeah, the green thang and of course they are nuts.

Rocky Road - Tom Waits. Man's got a voice like gravel and enough tunes about hard times to make you need something sweet to sooth your nerves.

Coffee heathbar crunch - Bob Marley. He had it all: the bitterness, the sweet enlightenment. The chocolate bar.

Kanrei said...

Just stopping by to say hello to you and yours. I am in working hell this week and have not had very much free time. I am actually missing blogging. I want to return to doing nothing and getting paid for it. Hope all is great with you.

VE said...

teri - Oh yeah, she was in Devil wears Prada...I just googled her...I see your point!

michelle ann - Ha! Good call. I'm not getting it either. Well...I just got married so I am, but that's a whole different tangent...

nyd - Yeah, it was a shame to ruin vanilla with James. Hall and Oats is a good call though! Love the Rocky Road one! The Marley one is perfect too. Yes, you have definitely brought it on!!!

VE said...

kan - Wonder what happened to you. Come on over to the do nothing pool...the water is fine!

Memarie Lane said...

James Blunt should be Rum Raisin, much more boring than vanilla. And Madonna's new album is called Sticky and Sweet.

Roy Scribner said...

Let's see...The Cranberries - no, that's too easy, Ramones! Yeah, the Ramones: Got to go with New York Super Fudge Chunk because of the whole "New York" thing and well, the color ties in nicely with the hair and t-shirts.
...well New York City really has it all, oh yeah, oh yeah..."

VE said...

marie - How about sap as a flavor for James Blunt? And you cannot move me from the mud wrestling image of Madonna...you just can't!

roy - NYD from the comments above would probably agree with you. Good call on the Ramones...I'd go with that.

VE said...

roy - Oh...and for the life of me I cannot comment on your blog from either IE or Firefox!

Megan said...

Chocolate chip - Justin Timberlake
Gold Medal Ribbon - Frank Sinatra
Raspberry Sherbet - Macy Gray

Ok I gotta go or I'll be doing this all day...

VE said...

megan - Good Macy Gray choice! Yes, yes, run away, run away now. You don't want to get sucked in...

leelee said...

"Love the James Blunt...for me, it's John Mayer. I just don't get it..."

I'm with Michele on teh musical part...but I am with VE on the other tangent..(and I've been married for 20 years wink..wink..life is good)

HUGS!!

PS: Of course NYD could bring it on..he's almost the master you are

Anne said...

Monkeys:

ah, never mind, funny brain cells have left the building.

colbymarshall said...

Steven Tyler would be rocky road, because it's one of the ugliest ice cream flavors, yet one of the most delicious!

VE said...

leelee - Ha...I hear ya winkin'. Yeah, nyd scares me; he uses words I didn't even know existed. I'm sure he'd pound me in a post challenge...which is why I don't.

anne - Just the thought of The Monkeys is enough. We'll use them as the sign above the ice cream shop...

colby - Good point with that one!

Jacki said...

You should market this idea to Baskin Robbins....

And just to chime in with the other ladies....I don't get the appeal of James Blunt or John Mayer.

Oh, I am not extremely high maintenance...I just like to always look nice. You wouldn't catch me dead going shopping in PJ bottoms or wearing crocs.

Kurt said...

Thank you for including a few recording artists that us old people would know.

Jeff said...

Sorry, I wouldn't eat anything associated with Madonna's pie.

Dee said...

i'd only change one. Prince would be Raspberry!

iamnot said...

Who the hell is James Blunt?

VE said...

jacki - Maybe if I give them the idea they'll give me free ice cream for life! Woohoo!

kurt - Yeah, I mean who ever heard of Death Cab for Cutie anyway ;)

jeff - Ha ha. Touche! But I'm sure if I offered you a Madonna Mud Wrestling ticket you'd come watch with me, wouldn't you?

dee - Good one. He did do that Raspberry berret thing, didn't he?

iamnot - Well said!

Serena Joy said...

I wanted ice cream tonight. Now I'm not so sure. I'm definitely not going to have vanilla, though.:)

VE said...

sj - I'm might just have ruined ice cream, huh?

Quickroute said...

Vanilla Ice = ???

Bee said...

I'll take sour lemon please!

Ummm... that spankin gpicture? Looks like the dude is enjoying it way too much.

SarahM said...

metallica- HAHAHAHAHA

and bob dylan should be- i smoked 18,000 cgarettes.

angie said...

"Think you’re as nonsensically clever as VE?"

Um........I think this is an impossibility?

Jocasta said...

Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clemen (flight of the conchords) - Hokey Pokey

lime said...

dude, anyone who is a prince fan would label him as raspberry. the ice cream still comes out purplish and it's the name of one of his hits...raspberry beret.

tapioca leather made me laugh like a loon. love that one.

Matt-Man said...

Ever since Aretha Franklin got so big, all I can think aboput is havin' me some Fudge Ripple. Cheers!!

Hale McKay said...

A good idea and some good match ups of groups and flavors.

I was scrolling below to catch up and get up to date on my reading at your place and I LOVED your "Jeopardy" post.

Great minds think alike. Back on Feb. 04, '06, I posted my own parody of Jeopardy. MY contestants were George W., Steven Hawking, and my blog-created redneck Cletis Clyde.

If you care you'll find it HERE.

Carla said...

Tapioca leather, I bet that's also a bubble tea flavour. Good one.

Practically Joe said...

The Cure: Just plain chocolate and lots of it!

Alex L said...

U2 could be Sardine Flavor, I saw them make it once on Iron Chef, I cant quite figure out the relevance of Sardines and U2, but I hate them both so it works for me.

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

My fave flavor is Chubby Hubby (Ben & Jerry) and I'm sure there's a musician who deserves to be the spokesperson for it.

VE said...

quickroute - Equals the tired cliche flavor of your choice

bee - Ha ha. And somebody else must have been enjoying that a lot to notice that!

sarahm - Has me beat by 18,000!

angie - Well it's certainly not easy. I was born to be nonsensical!

jocast - Ha ha. You put your right spoon in, you put your right spoon out...

lime - I know, I know. I'm not worthy... But at least you called my Dude. I prefer "the Dude" though ;)

matt-man - Fudge ripple...ha ha ha. Can't she get no R.E.S.P.E.C.T?

hale - That's funny. I'll check out your spoof on Jeopardy and then I'll try and quit copying your ideas. Actually, with 60 millions blogs, I'm sure most of the time somebody else has thought of something I wrote before me. Well, except my stoopid ideas...

carla - I can't make bubble unless I have a straw...

joe - Sounds like a good cure to me!

alex - That's got to be worst tasting than the leather one! Sardines! Oh come on now, let's sing it together: "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" ha ha ha

arizona - Chubby Hubby? How about Meat Loaf...

padraig said...

Rush - Pistachio.

Because people that like it, LOVE IT, and people that don't, HATE IT.

VE said...

padraig - That is true about Rush. My friend just hated them.

RED MOJO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.