Friday, August 08, 2008

Truth in Advertising

Whew. That was a wild ride yesterday. Thanks everyone! You're the best.

Just a quick note to let you know that blogger sucks! And the reason I bring that up is that Jeff pointed out that I lost a bunch of comments from my camping post. Fear not, I have all of them in email but it was around 16 of them. I'll get your comment tallies from email because I have no flippin' idea what happened...they're just gone.

Ok, please don't expect me to keep to yesterday's standard. Sometimes you just get inspired to take on a challenge...that was one of those times. Haven't messed around with a meme in awhile.

On with a new post (because I don't want Kurt telling me there is no funny here...)

Truth in Advertising...

You know what we need? We need to expand the Truth in Advertising principles a little further. I propose a few changes:

Old Name: U.S. Forest Service
New Name: Super Cuts

Old Name: Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
New Name: Full Blown Idiots (FBI)

Old Name: National Museum of American History
New Name: Americas Funniest Swindles

Old Name: Homeland Security
New Name: Big Brother

Old Name: Microsoft
New Name: Macrosuck

Old Name: Taco Bell
New Name: Taco Hell

Old Name: cell phone
New Name: sell phone

Old Name: networking
New Name: notworking

39 comments:

Roy Scribner said...

Yahoo: Your Apache Hosting Obsoleted Open Market

Okay, that's a huge, esoteric and geeky reference that even I shouldn't understand (and truly wish I didn't!), but it does tie-on nicely with your problem on Comments - lol! I'm pretty sure I've got mine fixed, with no help from the host, I might add.

lime said...

lol @ roy. i'll just laugh along with the two of you. i've been wondering lately how many comments blogger has eaten.

Jeff said...

Old Name: Blogspot
New Name: Bugsplat

Quickroute said...

Old Name: Internal Revenue Service
New Name: Internal Robbery Service


I've just been back and had a good ol' laugh over yesterdays comments - was that some kind of record?

Kurt said...

Wordpress is much better, but I've grown attached to my lame blogger blog template. Also, I don't think wordpress scans all your posts for the Department of Homeland Security.

VE said...

roy - Yeah...that's a helpful message. ha ha. Ok, I'll give it a try again...

lime - Yeah, it was the weirdest thing. Suddenly all these comments vanished. And then I wrote a comment on that post to explain it and it vanished too...but the very next one of the missing comments suddenly appeared but only one. I was definitely bloggered!

jeff - Perfect. And quite appropriate right now!

quickroute - Good one! I like it...well, until it happens to me that is. Yeah, as a matter of fact yesterdays post was sort of a record because that was my highest comment count for a post for a single day. My Bday/Wedding post was my all-time record at 82 but that was out there for 5 days while I was gone. To think you were the inspiration for one of my biggest posting efforts!

kurt - Really, blogger scans to Homeland Security? Well in that case, I'm going to start leaving some happy-happy messages for them!

cathouse teri said...

I like 'em!

I have a problem with a number of banking systems. They seem to enjoy screwing everyone... and not in the good way! So I call Wells Fargo, Wells Farblow!

Megan said...

These are funny I wish I could think of one.

Blogger has been messing with me lately too but with the blogroll, not the comments.

I have mapped everything over to wordpress but not quite ready to make the leap yet.

VE said...

Teri - We're mutually in agreement with Wells Fargo! ha ha. Good one! I've been calling them Well-to-forgo for some time. Banks just piss me off. I've got a note to post something on their customer service systems at some point in the future. I have to be laughing about it though...that time hasn't come.

megan - My blogrole is a disaster in time to maintain. Because I do my counts by hand, if I add somebody new, they go to the bottom and I have to move them down by hand through each and every one on the list. I cringe now over new readers because of the time it takes to do this. I may just split up the blog role into those under 10 in one list and those higher in another and hope to minimize the transition from one list to another as people continue to comment. Still, I wouldn't change my method for counting at all...I like it. If you change to wordpress, let me know to update the link!

Jacki said...

These I like. So true!

padraig said...

> Old Name: Homeland Security
> New Name: Big Brother

I thought "Big Brother" *was* the Old Name.

VE said...

jacki - The truth is out there...

padraig - You are right, but it was an underground name even back then and I'm proposing an official change. Of course I also think dogs and cats should resolve their difference peacefully and that the Miss Americas pagent is a shining beacon of hope for all of us...

Dee said...

you are so witty, funny and at times I just feel honored that I can read your blog.....I'm not worthy!

VE said...

dee - Ha ha. Don't put me on too high a pedestal, I'll just fall off and break something! Besides, don't sell yourself short...you were the one to change the Prince's ice cream flavor to Raspberry and that was a definite improvement!!!

MJ said...

We used to call
Chick-fil-A
Chick-kill-A
Not sure if you have those where you are...

Good post! Although I was a little disappointed I wasn't included in your last one, I will continue to be loyal ;)

VE said...

mj - Yes, we have those. Ridiculous outfits they have to wear there! Good one for that! I'm sorry you weren't inlcuded. You have been faithful and you have really been moving up my comments tally but I could only handle going down the first 30 before my brain just exploded trying to match bloggers with actors.

Michelle Ann said...

The Networking/Notworking is my favorite... Love it!

The Intracerebral Itinerary said...

Networking really is notworking for me most of the time...

VE said...

michelle ann - Funny...that one just popped to my head as I was finishing up writing this.

intracerebral - It was an impromptu addition to the list and one of the most true unfortunately!

Mr Farty said...

Old name: International Business Machines
New name: I Believe in Miracles

Mainframes just don't like Unix.

/techispeak

VE said...

mr. farty - Unix? Isn't that what they had running Jurassic Park that was all buggy? ;)

Sunshine said...

Okay you have me thinking now.. I will be back with an idea or at least to start racking points !

leelee said...

I can't think if any..I'm too excited..

I'm going on my mini-vaycay tomorrow.

Have a nice weekend VE!!

HUGS!!

VE said...

sunshine - Good...the challenge is on then! Be patient on my blog roll point rack...it lags behind about a week but I get them.

leelee - And vacation thoughts are all you should have! Enjoy! I'm off to my cabin too so no Sat/Sun post...sorry everyone!

Serena Joy said...

Your new product names are spot on. I'd buy them.:)

Damn Blogger! So sorry about your lost comments. I haven't had that happen -- yet -- knock on wood. This is, however, the 3rd or 4th time I've attempted to leave a comment. I keep getting that damned "Blogger unavailable" and "Sorry for the inconvenience" crap. Grrrrr!

Jeff said...

Me too. I've run into the "unavailable" thing about 10 times this last week. Then if you look on their update page they're showing a scheduled outage every day for the last 4 days for 4:00 PST. WTF is that?!

colbymarshall said...

Blogger made a lot of my comments disappear too...a trick...if you post dummy comments, they'll make the disappeared ones show up-- the dummy comments will never show up, but you'll have back the missing ones...

Quickroute said...

Well glad I'm getting credit for what most people go "OH hell pls no!" -
Hey you know there's a comment count widget out there on blogger - you're #10 on mine - let me know if you want the link to the code.

Alex L said...

I knew I left a comment on that camping post. I thought I was going crazy for a bit, well crazier.

C said...

Hey! It's been a while since I've checked out some of my fave blogs. I think I'm suffering from withdrawal right now!

When you've got a moment, pop on over :) I've got something for you on my blog!

Now, if you excuse me, I've got LOTS of catching up on your blog to do! ;)

Serena Joy said...

Oh, I almost forgot. One of my stepkids worked at Pizza Hut one summer. Ever since, she's called it Pizza Slut.:-)

Carla said...

Too funny. Love all of them.

Diesel said...

Any suggestions for Google? Since you're bagging on Blogger and all.

I actually don't like their commenting thing either. That's why I rolled my own.

ChrisEldin said...

HHAHAHAHAH! Clever!
Love the last one!!!!

:-)

VE said...

sj - I hate that 'unavailable' one. It's like blogger is on vacation or taking a shower or something!

jeff - You know, I think blogger is trendy their work ethic toward VE's...that's not good (for all of us that is)

colby - I think you are right because my 'heads up' comment disappeared and one of the missing ones reappeared. What a feature!

quickroute - I've seen that feature on a lot of other blogs. It's not for me because it counts EVERY comment for a post. I only count one per post and I don't look back further than the last time I update (so nobody goes back to the dawn of time trying to catch up). You have to be in the 'now'!

alex - I thought you were crazy even without the comment disappearing too.

c - Oh, about time you showed up! I'll drop by on Monday and check out what you're up to.

sj - Pizza Slut...another classic

carla - Thanks

diesel - Actually, I don't badmouth google proper. I was one of their earliest users...waaaay before the search engine was in the mainstream. I'm still quite happy with it. As for the comment thing on blogger, yeah, it sucks but we don't all have web talent like you either. PS - I love typing in 'DORK' on yours though...

chris - And it is so true...

RED MOJO said...

Old name: Windows Vista
New name: Winblows Pisser.

It sucks, but hey, it's just a comment it doesn't have to be good, besides, I was naked when I wrote it, what more do you want?

VE said...

red mojo - Ha! Your nakedness is all I need for today! No complaints there...

Mrs. R said...

Sorry, we were on vacation last week so I'm just now getting caught up.

Had to laugh at "Taco Hell." My husband calls it that all the time. That and "Taco Smell."

VE said...

mrs. r - Welcome back. Yes, I figured that one had to be pretty universal.