Thursday, September 18, 2008

Getting it Right

Does anything go right the first time anymore? Perhaps I am blind to it all now.

I bought a new barbeque last month and yesterday was the first time I had a chance to open the box. Those damn Home Depot weasels switched barbeques on me! Here’s how the conversation went:

VE: “I bought the floor model of a barbeque from you but when I opened it, it wasn’t the one I purchased.”

Home Depot: “You want to buy a floor?”

VE: “No….I already purchased a barbeque and it’s not the right one.”

Home Depot: “What model did you order?”

VE: “It was a Charmglow 5 burner but that’s not the point because the one you sent was the partially unbuilt new one and not the floor model that I purchased.”

Home Depot: “Why wouldn’t you want the new one?”

VE: “Because the doors didn’t close on it. It was either manufactured wrong or put together incorrectly. And that is the one you delivered to me. For one thing, I’m not going to put together something that obviously doesn’t work and secondly, you switched barbeques on me.”

Home Depot: “Let me put you on hold”

VE puts the phone on speaker and proceeds to shave, get dressed, eat breakfast, write a novel, end world hunger, balance the USA budget, solve the square root of pi, build 8000 piece lego sets, and hand write letters to distant relatives…


Home Depot: “Sir, we found your barbeque. They apparently grabbed the wrong one over at delivery. Can we bring this out to you by 8am tomorrow?”

VE: “Yes, absolutely. Please be on time; I have other commitments to get to later in the day.”

VE then waits and posts his blog while waiting;
8am comes and goes.
VE writes a future blog post
9am comes and goes.
VE jacks the new house up and pours a twelve level sub basement on the property.
10am comes and goes.
VE finished off the sub-basement levels and the new elevator.
11am comes and goes.

Finally they show up….lots of stops…couldn’t find the address on their navigation system…dog eats their delivery order…driver choked on a chicken bone…global warming in the arctic…the usual…

32 comments:

Jeff said...

Forget the 12 level sub basement and elevator... you wrote a future blog post? I heard tales of such things.

Jeffrey Ellis said...

LOL, nice story. People whose job is to answer phones are typically not very bright.

VE said...

jeff - Shhhhh...don't tell anyone. I don't want them to know about my time machine...

VE said...

jeffery - Sorry...had to answer the phone...what were you saying?

Evil Genius said...

Wait, so they brought you a shed? Two sheds? Was your BBQ inside one of the sheds?

LOL

VE said...

evil genius - See...they are actually evil genius too! Or...they ARE just that dumb...

leelee said...

Why you are a regular Bob Villa aren't ya...

sub level basement..indeed!

color me impressed.

HUGS!

The Incredible Woody said...

Mmmm - what's for dinner??

Bee said...

Forget all that other stuff! Can I be the firs to buy your novel?? In easy installments of a dollar a month?

VE said...

leelee - You know how I like my sub-levels! Allows me to do all my secret stuff!

incredible woody - With the barbeque? Yeah...don't even get me started...I have to convert it to a natural gas line...a simple 14 step process of which I am stuck on 3 trying to figure out how to reach these thingys I'm supposed to replace.

VE said...

bee - Sure. I'll send you the page promptly (hey...it's a small novel)

Jacki said...

You have much more patience than I. I would have also demanded some sort of discount for being inconvenienced.

Megan said...

I am laughing extra hard at this because I am on hold with the cable company right now, and I'm not even coming close to solving world hunger. But I'm glad I am visiting the blog of someone who did!

Beth said...

My God, I admire your ability to be constructive during those horrendous waiting times.
Take the sheds - they're worth more than a BBQ.

Kanrei said...

But they spoke English...you have me beat.

Anne said...

Did you build the DeathStar space station lego set or the Harry Potter full-scale model of Hogwarts?

Dee said...

love love your new song.

Kurt said...

I like Bush. This is in reference to the last post.

Serena said...

Now that you actually have the thing, you'll be cooking for us all, right? And then we can nap in those cute little sheds, right? Nothin' wrong with that.

VE said...

jacki - Like free? That's a good discount...

megan - Yes...I was on that call too. Well ok, not yours but with the cable company. Didn't have email coming to the wifes Mac and coudn't figure out why. I don't use Macs so I'm clueless with them. But in the end, they couldn't figure it out either. Then I discovered that she didn't have her email "online". Duh!!!

beth - Cool...then I could have a shed sale! No...I don't have enough property to hold those!

kan - Well...that was true. Even here its becomming an exception. I've heard by 2040 caucasions will be the minority.

anne - I built the entire Star Wars universe with all planets, death stars, space ships, land vehicles and characters. Lots of time!

dee - Thanks. It was about time to change it...just had to find something motivating to use

kurt - You do? Really? You're pulling my leg, aren't you?

serena - Theoretically...I had to convert it from Propane to natural gas so as long as it doesn't leak and blow up...we're all set. Come early for the leak test...

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

Oh, I'd take the sheds over a grill anytime! My kids and I would have a blast with those.

I think we should have a "shock" button on our phones so when we are forced to deal with "customer-no-service" we can push the button and give em a little jolt.

VE said...

I like the 'shock' button idea. I have a long list to apply it to!

Sarah said...

Should have gone to Lowe's :)

VE said...

sarah - My saying for them is: How Lowe can you go?

justacoolcat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
justacoolcat said...

Hey, I just got your beautifully hand written letter.

Just one thing, I'm not your cousin Elmer

(and yes the prior deleted comment was me, somehow something went wrong.)

Chris C said...

I have a buddy that is convinced everything is made to about 85% completion. He's not talking the fact you put a lot of stuff together yourself but that you have to 'fix' it to do what it was intended for.

Like the doors on your bbq.

VE said...

justacoolcat - Well...you should have a heart-to-heart discussion with your mother...Elmer! ha ha ha

chris c - Oh, I see. Its really just a puzzle. A challenge! It's all become clear now...

Kelley said...

I feel your pain. I ordered a Taco and found out I was pregnant.

Damn Mexicans.

VE said...

kelley - Wow, glad you didn't order the Burrito!!! ha ha ha

C said...

LOL! OMG! I hate when that happens! ;)

Did you eventually get the bbq you ordered?

VE said...

c - Yep...and then I posted on the fun after that just today!