Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Let Porn Guide Your Political Direction

You know…I’m going to be looking to the porn industry this year for guidance in the Presidential elections. I mean come on, look at the facts:

1. Its convenient…you’re already looking at the porn…just read between the lines

2. They are ahead of the trends. Bush hasn’t been popular in the porn industry for years!

3. They are the only industry that has more dildos than politics

4. They are not the chatty Cathy types; they get right down to business

5. Its hard to hide anything when you’re butt naked

6. Having candidates switch sides constantly doesn’t fool them at all; they are quite used to switching sides

7. They would laugh at politically incorrect stuff I made up such as this:

30 comments:

MJ said...

Porn would probably get the people who wouldn't normally vote into the voting process. Good idea!

NYD said...

With porn the benefits are obvious. Just like politics you already know you are going to be fucked. Unlike politics it is going to feel good.

NYD said...

I also enjoyed going through some of the posts I missed of late. Fred Flinstone at NASA. Hurricane Jinormous. Good stuff. Giggletown!

Evil Genius said...

Totally! It's so simple...why has no one thought of this before????

VE said...

mj - I know...they normally don't vote because they're too busy watching porn!!!

nyd - I know...that's why they are so popular. I tell you...if they started their own party...every body would be coming! ;)

nyd - I'm gald you found it amusing enough to read down below the latest post!

VE said...

evil genius - I guess nobody really understands the true meaning of porn!!! ha ha ha

leelee said...

HAHAHAHAHA...this is the best take on it all so far..

I've often wondered is the correct phrase BUTT naked or BUCK naked

:-\

HUGS!!

VE said...

leelee - Hmmm...I've never really thought about it. Usually the word naked conjures up other images and then I get distracted and...err...never mind.

Matt-Man said...

Ha. I bet Sarah is going to get to eat a Big MacCain. Cheers VE!!

VE said...

matt-man - John was in a hole for many years...he's got experience!

justacoolcat said...

What office is Mrs.Beaver running for?

I don't want to vote for that dick.

Roy Scribner said...

McCain could sow this up, if he'd just embrace a beer platform. I'm telling you, Rodney Carrington knows what he's talking about...

VE said...

justacoolcat - Me neither!

roy - That's a good idea. Beer leads to sex so both of these work!

colbymarshall said...

Maybe if they offered porn in voting booths, more people would vote...

VE said...

colby - Very wise. Porn people are used to little booths too. This should be a natural!

Megan said...

If this gives me a nightmare in which my nipples turn into tiny Palin heads, I will never forgive you...

Serena said...

I definitely don't want to see McCain's butt, but if you can line up some decent "stars," I think it's a stellar idea. Naked Politics. Yeah.:)

Kurt said...

That's so true (and weird) about Bush.

VE said...

megan - You'll just never look at the golden arches the same way again, will you?

serena - No, no; I'm not advocating they be naked...I'm merely going to consult the porn stars on guidance for voting. But there have been many excellent suggestions on how porn and politics fit together nicely.

kurt - Very astute of you to comment on the core funny concept that started this whole post!

Chris Wood said...

Finally some sensible comments about the presidential race.

VE said...

chris - And lets face it...there's really nothing sensible about the whole affair is there...

Alex L said...

'Its hard to hide anything when you’re butt naked'

There are ways... but yes its not easy

Meg said...

Well believe it or not, I was on a porn site the other day--don't ask--and there were several McCain/Palin ads there.

Really.

Still, your "I'm Lovin' It" pic beats it.

VE said...

alex - Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah (that's me not hearing your explanations on hiding...)

meg - I'm not asking! Ha ha. Leave it to the Republicans to put ads on porn. It's those traditional family values...

Quickroute said...

I could be mistaken but I thought I heard George Bush Snr use a porn-ism when he asked George Jnr - "Who's your Daddy?!!"

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I LOVE that photo of the moose shooter. Too funny!

VE said...

quickroute - Definitely a porn source there. That's probably all Snr. does these days...

arizona - See...and I didn't even get arrested...

C said...

LOL! Oh, VE! This has got to be one of the funniest posts ever! You had me at Bush hasn’t been popular in the porn industry for years!

Thanks for the daily dose of laughter!

C said...

P.S. Not only are you damn funny, but you are so right too! I think everyone should let porn guide their political direction!

VE said...

c - Yeah, it started with the Bush joke (and yes, it was mine) and then I sort of formulated that theory around it and it was scary that it made a lot of sense!