Monday, September 15, 2008

The Secret Other Life of Fictional Characters

Ever wonder what all these fictional characters do when they are not called upon by adventures in their latest book, movie, play or song? You might be quite surprised!


James Bond for instance. He likes to get away from all the macho surroundings that inundate his fictional responsibilities. When not serving as 007 he enrolls in knitting classes and participates in a debating club.




Fred Flintstone can often be found over at NASA working on the multipole theory valid for radiation from sources with small dimensions. Occasionally he’ll call his friend Patrick (from Spongebob) in for help on a particularly complex formula. He is usually under a strict vegan diet until he must eat dinosaur ribs the size of a small garage for his show.





Harry Potter is most often found among muggles doing a stand up comedy act with Ron Weasley. They do some great Dumbldork bits…




The Cat in the Hat teaches Geometry at a prestigious High School preparatory school when he’s not having cake in the tub and leaving pink rings. Things 1 and 2 are in charge of the detention class after school.






Freddy Krueger carves topiaries in his spare time during the days. Given that he typically works the night shift terrorizing teens in their dreams he spends part of the days with his plants in his garden. It’s very therapeutic.



Yes, all characters that are created do surprising things during their off time. Much of it is hard to believe when you think about their fictional character jobs.

27 comments:

Sornie said...

Freddy Krueger sounds a lot like Edward Scissorhands.

VE said...

sornie - How'd you know that was Freddy's favorite movie? But it makes him sad that Vincent Price has passed on...

Jeff said...

Alfred E. Neumann - Became a US Senator based solely on the campaign slogan, "What, me worry?"

VE said...

jeff - Hey...nobody told me he was running. Of course I'd vote for him...he's so versatile!

leelee said...

WIIIIIIILLLLLLLLMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!(cue in closing theme music)

Jacki said...

In my fictional life I am tall, beautiful and travel for a living.

lime said...

so you're saying edward scissorhands helped freddie kreuger get in touch with his softer side?

Serena Joy said...

I'm in the kind of mood where I just might be tempted to poke Bond with his knitting needles, smack Fred with a dinosaur rib, mug Harry, wrap my pink scarf around Cat's neck, and rake Freddy with my nails. Sorry. I think there might be a full moon out.:)

VE said...

leelee - Ha ha. Imagine what Wilma does on her off time!!!

jacki - In my fictional life the travel comes to me (avoids airlines and such)

lime - Ironic, isn't it? Yes, Edward was a sensative type who got along with all the thrasher regulars...

sj - I can see what you'll be doing in your secret other life!! Sorry about that moon...it sure looked purty during my walk this morning...

Quickroute said...

Didn't the actor who played Freddie Krueger play the part of Willy in 'V' ?
Hmm ...who is 'VE' anyway?

Kurt said...

I play Kurt on the blog Other People Exist.

Serena Joy said...

Oh, I saw it last night and it is a beautiful moon. It's just a shame that it can provoke such strong emotions when people persist in ticking me off. If only they'd do what I say...:-)

Chris Wood said...

Great post, but I thought Fred Flintstone spent his free time writing treaties on Wittgenstein. I'll never trust the news again.

colbymarshall said...

Oh, ouch...you didn't just dis Harry (or Dumbledore, really)! I will try to turn a blind eye.

Annie Ha said...

Cinderella spends her off days at the track, betting on the rat races.

uh, okay, not that funny. It's Monday.

Alex L said...

Can you tell me what Hermini from Harry potter does in her off time I'm more interested in that.

Matt-Man said...

Jughead sells crack and Veronica sells her body. I should know; they both work for me. Cheers!!

VE said...

quickroute - Yes, who is VE on his off time? Well certainly no Willy. I hate hanging around alley ways after dark...

kurt - And you play it well!

sj - Tell me about it. I have a few post rants lined up for the future...

chris - Your British tabloids are worse than ours for making stuff up. In fact...I think I'll make up news for my next post!

colby - Come on now...I did just dis Oprah and the Mormons and practically everything else sacred or intimidating. Why not Harry...

annie ha - Well she did have a tough up bringing so I see where the need to gamble came from...

alex - Now you know shes doing some naked mud wrestling on the side!

matt-man - Ha! Yes...I can see that happening. They needed the money though...those comics aren't nearly as popular as they were

MJ said...

I think Elmo is a serial rapist in his off-time.

Practically Joe said...

Wonder Woman ... when not being a hero leads a simple life as my wife.

(I'm sorry ... I need to get on my wife's good side ... I'm in the dog house again.)

VE said...

mj - He seemed suspicious...never trust anyone in all red.

joe - Dang Joe...you're a lucky guy! But I'm wondering who wears the pants in that relationship!!!

Practically Joe said...

VE ... All I can say is that she's one up on me ... She'll wear the dress and the pants ... I'll only wear the pants.

VE said...

joe - Yeah...you can never win, can you?

Evil Genius said...

James Bond KNITS??? Wow. Who'd a thunk it. I also wouldn't have guessed that the Cat in the Hat is a geometry teacher. Maybe I should have known, since he does seem to have terrific spatial perception. Huh.

VE said...

evil genius - He's got great spitting perception too!

Bonnie the Boss said...

Hey, What is George Jetson up to in his real life?

VE said...

He's on the talk circuit these days with his 12 steps to a happy marriage book...