Wednesday, September 24, 2008

VE Looks into the Future

Yeah, that’s right. You thought THESE were bad?

Well VE had just looked into his special crystal ball to the future. It’s dark out there!

No…not the extra trillion were going to lop onto the deficit…
No…not the government managing our nation’s home loans…
No…not those buffoons wanting to be elected…

These!!!

You got it, folks. Just when you thought it was over. Just when you thought it was safe. A full line of Croc clothing to go with those lovely shoes!

Run away! Run away!

In keeping with tradition they will initially be offering them in that hideous Mars invasion green but expanding to many other vomitous colors as well.

No clothing is safe from their terror…

45 comments:

Sarah said...

The scary thing is...you're not far off! I bet you that really is next! Ahhhhh I hate crocs!

The Incredible Woody said...

I am proud to announce that I do not, have not, and will not own a pair of crocs!!

GC (God's Child) said...

I don't own a pair of croc anything--not even knockoffs
are they really that comfy?
Why do they look like THE most unsafe hospital shoes ever?

Shrinky said...

Hey, where can I purchase this fetching line of clothing? Do they give discount for bulk??

Ooooh, I am so excited.. don't suppose they do matching knickers too?

Jeff said...

This post reminds me of those black hole circles the cartoon characters used to throw on the floor in front of someone who was chasing them, and then they would fall in. I always wanted some of those.

VE said...

sarah - I'm telling ya'...somebody is going to do this and we'll all have to suffer...

incredible woody - I'm in the club too! We'll make you president!

gc - I have no idea the appeal. They look like they're way too big and they don't look comfortable.

shrinky - You'll have wait until 2010. In 2010 the Croc will rock. I've planned a year sabbatical in a cave if it really happens.

jeff - Those would come in handy. We could throw all the Crocs into one.

Sornie said...

WTF? No Croc underwear? The clothing line isn't nearly complete.

lime said...

it all looks like a cross between the one set of glowing outfits performers in the olympic opening ceremonies wore and the ghost costume charlie brown wore.

oh, and to let you know, you have an important behind the scenes job in my meme movie that i posted today.

VE said...

sornie - I couldn't show them because you'd just look through the holes!!!!

lime - Oh, that is so on spot about the Charlie Brown ghost costume! Ha ha ha. I am the dramatic chipmunk in your meme movie! That is so awesome...

Anette said...

What about this?
If we be a little liberated on the color?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jarlsberg_cheese

Roy Scribner said...

Hey! If that catches on, I might have to open my own line of "dot clothes." I'll bet I could get lots of dots from them, for a song!

Kanrei said...

This post is a total croc of shit.

Not really, but see what I did there =P

The day I see one of these in a store is the day I find you and make you pay for even sharing this idea, let alone making visual displays of them.

VE said...

anette - Ha ha ha. Yes...croc clothing in that color would definitely make you look like you're wearing cheese! It's not easy being cheesy you know!

roy - I recommend siezing all quick money making opportunities off the stupid! I never actually follow through myself, but I always recommend them!

Jacki said...

Have you seen the new Croc heels for women? They are fugly!

VE said...

kan - Ha ha ha. Yes, I actually did worry that somebody might come after me and hold me resonsible for it coming true. I have seen a number of my previous lame brain ideas actually implemented (by somebody else) before. But look on the positive side too...we can go to the bathroom even easier with Croc pants and underwear!!!

VE said...

jacki - No, I'll have to go look. Doesn't surprise me they're fugly...the whole concept is fugly!

colbymarshall said...

ans the next thing you know, it'll extend to food...croc cheese! Oh, wait...

colbymarshall said...

ans the next thing you know, it'll extend to food...croc cheese! Oh, wait...

Kanrei said...

I was looking through my drawers and noticed I have a ton of "Croc Socks"...or maybe they are just really old come to think of it. NEver mind.

Practically Joe said...

Croc underwear with the holes in just the right places would be trendy yet practical. Just to add a little known fact ... croc coffee cups were a big failure.

Megan said...

You know, this is not really that much weirder than some of the stuff you see at fashion week...

Kurt said...

Those croc shoes are waterproof, you know.

VE said...

colby - Yeah, why is is that Swiss cheese has holes and cheddar does not? There's something going on there...and I don't like it!

kan - You were ahead of your time you fashion geek! ha ha ha

joe - The coffee cups...ha ha...yes, big disappointment. Starbucks liked them though...they sold more coffee...

megan - Fashion week? Fashion week? Is that like an alternative to outdoor school? I obviously never attended according to the wife looking at my closet...

kurt - They sure are. The water flows right on through for easy ventilation

Quickroute said...

Those shoes are HUGELY popular out here - I kid you not

VE said...

quickroute - I'm so sorry for you....

Michelle Ann said...

I hate those things...and I used to work in a kitchen, which is where this odd fad started. And now that Chef Mario Batali insists on wearing his everywhere paired with khaki shorts. He even wore them at a red carpet event.

Chef or not, he still looked like a dork.

VE said...

michelle ann - Maybe after seeing those on his feet they should have made him vacuum the red carpet with the cleaning crew instead of attending the event!

Serena said...

What a croc.:-)

carlae said...

I guess you haven't seen the croc undies?

VE said...

serena - Next up...the Croc Pot!!!

carlae - Not only have I seen them, I've seen right through them! ha ha

Dee said...

crock undies would be efficient.

padraig said...

Simply for the indelible images burned into my mind from this post, you deserve torture and execution, sir.

Bee said...

Listen, I'm not gonna suggest croc undies like everybody else has. I suggest holes with netting. Think of the color possibilities!

Glow in the dark green with fuchsia pink!! I want in on this VE.

Qelqoth said...

I must have them. They will be my "sexy" clothes.

leelee said...

good thing I read the comments...better late than never...Kan said what I was gonna say..

another "original" thought down the tubes.

HUGS!

ChrisEldin said...

All of the good Croc jokes are already taken.

This made me spew stuff.

But I am here to tell you, I LOVE crocs. I buy them anytime I see them. We have a closet full. YOu probably think I'm joking.

Ve, those clothes are hysterical!!! I don't know how your mind works...

:-)

VE said...

dee - Very true. Of course I'll be needing larger holes in mine for key activities...ha ha ha

padraig - Could be worse...I could have used Rosie or Amy Winehouse as my model for these...

bee - Ha ha ha. Now that would be quite ingenious. You could look just like that Dr. Suess book where the bear or whatever it was takes off all his colored spots and does amazing things with them. I like it!!!

qelqoth - They'll be saying "You Rock in your croc" ha ha ha

leelee - It was your original thought too. Kan obviously stole it from your brain and went back in time to comment.

VE said...

chris - Nobody knows how my mind works, not even me. Some of my friends marvel that it even does work...

MJ said...

I just keep telling myself "it's just a blog post, it's only a blog post, it's not real..."

I'll probably have nightmares.

VE said...

mj - Sorry about that. I take people to the edge of insanity sometimes. I enjoy that...

Kelley said...

I am sending you the dry cleaning bill.

Vomit and brains all over the place. Yeah, thanks for that...

Bonnie the Boss said...

My 13 year old son bought a pair of these things about 40 sizes too big and insists on wearing them, instead of taking them back. If you thought crocs looked stupid. think about ones that are 40x too big. Sheesh!

bitchlet said...

I think I have seen that picture of green crocs on your blog before.

VE said...

kelley - You know you secretly have a stash and wear them out disguised as somebody else! HA HA

bonnie - I don't know...I sure see a lot of them way to big. What's up with that?

bitchlet - Yes you have! I like to repeat the most obnoxious and offense ones as often as possible...

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

My kid loves his crocs. In his preschool class photo 95% of the kids were wearing them. Now they can all grow up and become Croc Clothing wearers.... I still maintain that Croc shoes are cute on preschoolers. Anyone older than Kindergarten age should ixnay them. EIther that or we should be allowed to throw rotten eggs at adults who wear them without fear of prosecution.