Tuesday, September 30, 2008

VE's More Useful Name Tags

You know those name tags you have to either wear as employees or stick on when you don’t know a lot of other people (like conventions, work gatherings, etc.)?

Well, I think they need to be a little more descriptive. Imagine if there were special little factoids below their name and title that only the passerby could see and read.

That would be a lot more helpful!

Here are some VE examples for you…






38 comments:

Jeff said...

Never shake the hand of a man who doesn't wash after touching his Robert Johnson.

Jacki said...

LOL! I love these! I am going to print them out and hang them here in my cubby.

My dad told me a story that happened at his office last week. Some dude used the bathroom same time as he did, didn't wash his hands, THEN went to the kitchen and used his hand to get ice out of the ice machine.

GROSS!

Roy Scribner said...

I don't get it, are these supposed to be bad?

VE said...

jeff - That's good advice!!

jacki - You probably shouldn't shake anyones hand. That's a gross story...ha ha ha. He went and got him some uce (urine ice).

VE said...

roy - Of course...who wants to wear a name tag at work!!!

Dee said...

This was great! I actually could pin a couple of those on a coworker!

Sarah said...

Wow I have worked with every one of those people!!! I would like to add (name removed to protect the innocent) I whistle loudly at inappropriate times.

bitchlet said...

Ray Wattson, Canteen Guy
I sweat a lot while making your hamburgers.

ChrisEldin said...

Oh, these made me laugh out loud!! Some days I missing having a traditional job. But then, all of what you said is right....

The Incredible Woody said...

Boy am I glad I work at home!!

cathouse teri said...

So mine would say:

Teri Ahlstrom
Don't shake my hand because I just touched someone's Robert Johnson.

Kurt said...

Classic!

GC (God's Child) said...

mine would say

Jennifer Allen:
I always open the bathroom door with a paper towel because I don't want to touch your Roberta Johnson.

VE said...

dee - And maybe you should! Leave them hanging anonymously on their chair...

sarah - I do not tolerate whistlers at work. Of course, I do not tolerate work either...

bitchlet - Ha! Why is that? I don't sweat when I make burgers at home...

chris - Yeah, I miss the corporate world like I miss The Police Academy movies...

incredible woody - Be sure to wash though ;)

teri - Ha ha! You are so bad!!!

kurt - Yeah, sometimes my ideas are even funny...

VE said...

gc - That's good advice! I do the same...

Evil Genius said...

I've worked with every one of them. Oh, but let's not forget John Smith, "I frequently bring in a box of donuts for the team, so don't complain that I eat half of them before I set the box out for everyone else."

Megan said...

Knew when I saw the title that I was going to laugh at this one.

Yes, I know all of those people.

Bunny Hugger said...

Mine would say "I secretly hate you." or "I am likely to engage in a killing spree"

bitchlet said...

Maybe that's an Indian thing.

VE said...

Evil genius – Donut control and power is an important part of the corporate culture!

Megan – That’s what makes it so funny…and sad

Bunny hugger – I’m going to have to use those if I ever have another meeting. It’ll help them take me a little more seriously! Ha ha

Bitchlet – I don’t think so. I’ve seen lots of cultures sweating behind there making hamburgers. In fact, I’d probably sweat if you threw me behind a huge grill making lots of burgers in a confined space!

Bee said...

You forgot:

Dumbf*ck Kowzowski, I will drain your soul and fire you once you're an empty shell.

Serena said...

Those are hysterical! After a day of listening to hysterical clients, mine would say

Serena, Wage Slave
I don't hear you!

VE said...

bee - Excellent. Obviously an overachiever during management assimulation school!

serena - Ha! Classic. I use to wear that one...

colbymarshall said...

Jessica Barton: I'm the one who takes all of your pens.

Quickroute said...

I know all versions of these peeps - Cloning is alive and well

Alex L said...

Mine would probably be

Alex, office grunt
Don't talk to me I'm probably not listening... oooh a moth

Matt-Man said...

I have worked with each and every one of those people over the years. Cheers VE!!

VE said...

colby - Ha! That damn Jessica...THAT's where all my pens are.

quickroute - Funny how they keep cloning the wrong people. Because I know we are all above average drivers too

alex - Huh? What did you say? Oh look, an M&M under my keyboard...

matt-man - And you're still sane! You must wear Repel-a-Dork...

Maureen said...

Har! How the hell did you get those from our office??? I swear they all work here too.

And I have now decided to take up the Japanese tradition of bowing for greeting.... with flu season upon us, I am keeping my hands to myself. (okay, no dirty remarks about that last line....)

MJ said...

I will dump all my problems on you if you try to engage in conversation

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Practically everyone in my office would have that one!

Great post!

VE said...

maureen - Ha ha. You open the door wide on that...but then quicky shut it again. Doh!

mj - Just wear really thick earmuffs around work at all times...

padraig said...

Bob Selldon
Sales

I will stalk you in a mildly creepy manner until the next new female gets hired

justacoolcat said...

I'll hold the door open just to see you look stupid running to the open door.

VE said...

padraig - Ha ha. Of course that would be a sales person!

justacoolcat - Ha! I love it! I've seen this situation so many times...

Mrs. R said...

Here's another reader who's worked with every single one of those people. Maybe someone somewhere is making droids that look like humans to haunt the rest of us in the workplace. Because I can't find any other explanation for these people.

VE said...

mrs. r - I don't understand it either. It would be different if you occasionally had a person that only walked around work on their hands...but that is never the case.

yellojkt said...

I have worked with all these people. Only they had different names them.

VE said...

yellojkt - Yeah, they're tricky like that...changing their names and relocating and all...