Friday, October 31, 2008

Business Catch Up and Why I Could Have Been Amish

VE has been all over the damn place lately.

That's right. Bee herself was foolish enough to give me an award! It was a creative award so that's why I mention it here. No...the award itself isn't creative...it's for being creative. Now a good little blogger would group hug with his readers and hand out the award to 6 other people. But nobody said I was good! ha ha. I don't want to be struck down to blogger hell either so I'm going to pass it to: here and here and here instead. But thanks Bee, you're the best.

Then, as if you haven't had enough of me already, I'm being interviewed by humor blogger Chris over at Angry Seafood sometime today. I think it's today (Fri) but one never knows. He has an ongoing interview feature of humor bloggers. He must be getting desparate now to include me...

And finally, Matt-man and I went dancing in Seol, Korea for his winnings on my contest. You can read about that on Monday. Trust me...it won't be pretty.

Finally, on the today's post. Sheesh...

I Could Have Been Amish...


It’s not as far fetched as you think. Check it out:

They: Travel by buggy
Me: Had a VW bug

They: Live in the town of Intercourse
Me: Daydream in my fantasy land of Intercourse

They: Make dolls without a face
Me: Once listened to Billy Idol’s “Eyes without a Face”

They: Have all their friends around to help raise a barn
Me: Have all my friends around to help raise hell

They: Don’t watch TV
Me: Don’t watch MTV

They: Make everything by hand
Me: Have to hand over everything I make

They: Wear outdated clothing
Me: Wear clothing out on a date

38 comments:

Roy Scribner said...

Will you remember the little people, VE?

Dee said...

your right your THIS close to being Amish!

Bee's Musings said...

VE!!
You deserve that award for the creative way you were doing that strip dance in the chat room.

We were all BOWLED over!

VE said...

roy - Who? I just forgot. Were they those characters in the weird kids movie with Sean Connerly. Darby something...?

dee - See, I KNEW I could be Amish if I really tried. The beards though...that's a tough one.

VE said...

Bee - Ha! At least I wasn't juggling dwarf veterans and making paper airplanes from Bible pages like somebody I know was last night! ;)

The Incredible Woody said...

Mrs VE doesn't wear one of those hats that look like coffee filters, does she?

Sharon said...

Yes, I believe those are the qualifications the Amish are looking for.

VE said...

incredible woody - Of course not. I'm not spending good money on one of those...she uses actual coffee filters instead...

sharon - I knew after that big gun thing they had awhile back that recruiting would be less picky...

Jacki said...

You know, the word "intercourse" has always irritated me. It just sounds so stupid...I prefer to just say sex. And have sex.

Megan said...

The similarities are truly frightening.

iamnot said...

...and...and...you could have dated Kelly McGillis!

VE said...

jacki - Yeah, sounds like some kind of freeway interchange! And I'm sure Peter is right there supporting your preferences! ha ha

megan - I'm having trouble with the whole no button thing though...

iamnot - Sweeet...there's a bonus! I knew this idea was worth merit

Anna Lefler said...

I didn't know ZZ Top was Amish! I hate it when I'm out of the loop...

Happy Halloween!

~ Anna

padraig said...

VE... beware the English!

MJ said...

Off subject, but my fiance has a shot glass collection. I'll never forget while we were dating, that my dad had gone through Intercourse, PA on a business trip. Being the funny guy he is, he bought my boyfriend a shot glass with the town's name on it.

As my dad handed it over he said, "You know, I'm thinking now it wasn't such a good idea to give this to my daughter's boyfriend..." Duh.

Evil Genius said...

They: Churn their own butter.

And you...????

Chat Blanc said...

the similarities are UNCANNY! and I never would have guessed you wear clothing out a date. very strange indeed!

VE said...

anna - Ha! Yeah; it's their unplugged years...

padraig - I do, I've eaten their food over there. Yikes...

mj - Ha ha ha. Good story. I went through the town once too. There is quite the supply of great souveners there as one would expect.

evil genius - Butter my wife's churn! ;)

chat - I know, I know but getting arrested puts such a damper on the evening mood...

ReformingGeek said...

So if you stay "in" on your date, you don't have to wear clothing. Solves that problem. Anyway, I'll know you've truly morphed into the Amish once I can buy furniture from you!

VE said...

reforminggeek - Trust me, if I'm in on my date, I don't have clothing on ;) And scarily...I have two Armoires, a bed, and a chair for sale on Craigs list...

unfinishedrambling said...

You only listened to Eyes without A Face once? I feel sorry for you. I try to listen to it at least once a week, if not more. You don't know you're missing.

Oh, and enjoyed Chris' interview with you. Oh, and all that stuff I might have said in his blog comments about him being funnier than you? I meant that you were funnier than him (at least, that's what I'll say on your blog :).

VE said...

unfinishedrambling - Oh sure, just change allegiences when it's convenient!!!

AngieSS said...

Wow, the similarity is astonishing! I had no idea you were so -- Amish. LOL

VE said...

angiess - I do it all for Kelly McGillis...

Kurt said...

I can't believe you brought up the VW bug again, after the last incident.

Serena said...

Of course, you deserve all the awards you get. But Amish? Nah, I don't think you'd last very long.:-)

VE said...

kurt - You just won't let that one alone will you. I just wanted to make sure the post had some funny... ;)

serena - Don't buy it 'ey? Can I at least live in Intercourse as an inspector of domestic affairs or something?

Deb said...

VE, President of Intercourse?
VE, Administrator of Intercourse?
VE, Preventer of Intercourse?
VE, Inspector of Intercourse

Gee, they all sound pretty good, except the third one, unless you go live where ever the Duggar's live. They're trying to start their own race.

yellojkt said...

They: Live plain.
You: Look plain.

Just trying to get into the spirit of it.

Quickroute said...

Amish peeps aint allowed to use a computer - how you gonna blog?

Alex L said...

I trust you have the beard aswell.

Anette said...

Of course you could! In fact I've heard they're looking for someone who can carve nonsense out of wood, just for the entertainment of it!! That would be you I think!

lime said...

hey, you're lucky you don't like in blue ball. (yes, thats' a real town in amish country)

Jeff said...

They: Don't use electricity
VE: Don't pay his electric bill

They: Don't believe in sex before marriage
VE: Doesn't believe in marriage before sex

Have you listened to Weird Al's Amish Paradise? Thou must doth do so if thou has not.

Matt-Man said...

I can't wait to read about our night out. I am swooning with anticipation. Cheers!!

leelee said...

This post made me think of a great Robin Williams quote:

“We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that.”

;-)

HUGS!!

VE said...

deb - Most of those titles sound quite fine with me. I guess it's still work but at least enjoyable work!

yellowjkt - There you go! I need the abuse you know...

quickroute - I'll write all my blog posts on tree bark with raspberry juice and then pass it to some locals for translation to a computer...

alex - Hey, if Harrison Ford didn't have to grow one...neither do I!

anette - Ah yes, wood carving nonsense is my speciality!

lime - Blue Ball? How did I miss that town? I've been through Amish country before. I even said hello to an Amish family in Belize! Yes, they are there too!

jeff - Ha! Yes, I have listened to that Weird Al song. Well...all Weird Al songs actually. Good ones...and how did you know about my electric bill? I MEANT to pay it...eventually.

matt-man - It was a fun one!

leelee - Ha ha. Note to self: don't be an Amish mechanic...

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

When I was in Washington/Oregon this summer we stopped at a Denny's type restaurant for breakfast. They featured a rotating book rack featuring the finest selection of Amish Romance Novels this side of a Shoo Fly Pie Orgy.

Brother Hezekiah is a lusty beast of a man when he's not barn raising and stuff.