Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Calendars the VE Way

Pretty much all of you know how I feel about the normal working world. If you don’t perhaps my new calendar will help.

You see, it is my opinion that Monday through Friday are basically flushed down the toilet if you have to work them. And thus, this is how I perceive the calendar to look like when stuck in that corporate life.

This is how I perceive it in VE’s world (you'll probably have to click on the calendar to really see it):

Note that I still include the days of the week. They’re helpful in knowing when to avoid the traffic snags of the normal working person should I actually want to go somewhere.

The days of the month are important still because on occasion there are these holidays when they close down stores and things I might want to go to.

Other than that it’s pretty much a blank sheet…fill in what amuses you…

41 comments:

EmmaK said...

I feel the same, when I was working I was like, 'what a waste of my life, I should be doing so many more interesting things with my time'. And now that I am not working I spend my time doing nothing productive but it is preferable...also, take pride VE, we are actually benefitting society because we are NOT taking that Burger King job that someone urgently needs to feed their family. We are philanthopists. Still, don't understand how you earn 'money for nothing and your chicks for free' you should write a book giving details.

VE said...

emmak - Now see if I wrote a book then I'd have to promote it. Work! It's always there trying to trick you into doing it. But I like your idea that we are philanthopists. It sounds so noble!

Matt-Man said...

Your life is too frenetic for me. I mean, showering and actually dressing THREE times a month? I limit myself to once a month. Dude, slow down. Cheers!!

Kanrei said...

This post is a good arguement for hating you, VE. Green--eyed monsters read blogs too ya know.

Mrs. R said...

I thought about printing out a picture of your toilet calendar and hanging it in my office, but then I thought my boss might not like that so much...

Sornie said...

The most disturbing part is that according to this calendar you only shower and get dressed three times per month. I hope your house has curtains.

leelee said...

I like it in your world!!

HUgs!

VE said...

matt-man - I know, I'm not worthy. I strive to attain your level but its so hard!

kan - Don't hate me...I'm just the messenger. Well wait, I guess I atually am the one taking it easy. Never mind...

mrs. r - Do it anyway...just tell your boss it's from a blumbing company...

sornie - I'm just trying to my part for water conservation! Yes...I do have curtains. No more free peeps from my flock of admiring female fans (hey...it could happen...no really...)

leelee - There's always an extra scoop of ice cream you didn't realize in my world!

Roy Scribner said...

I am crying inside. On the bright side, I did get my ballot on Friday!
(when you live in the working world, it's the small things that matter)

cathouse teri said...

Does this make you part of the abnormal working world? Which part is abnormal, may I ask?

MJ said...

*sigh* Must be nice.

Jacki said...

VE's World....Waynes World...I'm starting to see some similarities.

I could totally see that calendar being published as a desk calendar that people could buy.

Memarie Lane said...

So that's why I've been getting AARP crap in the mail!

Evil Genius said...

Wow, after everything you did that month, you took a bike ride? Dude, you're ambitious! lol

padraig said...

Where did you get your giant sack o' cash that you use to fund your unactivities? Did you win the lottery?

Kurt said...

Work is for losers.

VE said...

roy - Yes, getting your ballot is a joyous celebration and should disrupt your corporate routine just enough to keep you awake through 2.7 meetings...

teri - Well...I think my abs are pretty normal. They're there and they're not broken.

mj - I'll come a mourn the coming of the next work day with you some time. It'll be ok...

jacki - Waynes World? Exqueeze me? Yes, people are already posting this to their cubicles in a desparate plea to be pardoned...

marie - Errr....look over there, an honest candidate (me running the other way)

evil - I know. But I have to set myself up with a few extra activities to provide a beaming example of non-work life. Remember, it's baby steps to total inactivity...

padraig - The key is that you have to be employed but never show up. It's part art and part Garfunkle to accomplish this without somebody catching on...

kurt - Kurt is my idol and mentor!

Megan said...

I am hanging up that calendar in my half cubicle. I'm not kidding.

I like that some days in the VE world are just repeats of the previous day. Does that mean you are adding those extra days on at the end, a la a skipped car payment?

Jeff said...

An hour? You must really have some itchy balls! But shouldn't you really be saying "scratch balls?" Unless you're spending an hour putting itching powder on them. But that would just be weird.

Anndi said...

You rock my world.

VE said...

megan - Excellent! It belongs on all cubicles as a shiny beacon of hope...

jeff - All good things are worth doing right! ha ha. I knew YOU would comment on that one...

anndi - Ha ha. Good. Everyone's world needs rocking every now and then...

ReformingGeek said...

Now that's my kind of calendar. I would have a whole day to wash and style my hair though. Another day for shoe shopping ;-) I like the outside activities. I'm glad you didn't schedule a Pong tournament!

VE said...

reforminggeek - Sadly there are so few of us really, really good pong players left out there so a tournament was out of the question. ha ha

AngieSS said...

lmao...I literally thought I was going to pee myself! You apparently don't have kids. They definitely change the scheme of things when you are able to stay home. Like, I would never have time to secretly sign up friends for AARP. I'm so jealous!

VE said...

angiess - I actually do have kids. They are at my house half time. Since they also go to school and have activities that gives me a lot of time for other things...like AARP pranks.

eve cleveland said...

ve...
Any man that combines Pawn and Gnomes had me at hello..gnome sayin? Ok I'm a dork.
Eve

Serena said...

Where can I get your calendar?:-)

lime said...

i'll be over on friday, k?

VE said...

eve - Excellent...we can be dorky together. Watch out for the gnomes though...sometimes they bite and they're always mischievious

serena - Ha ha. Yes, it's difficult being me...

lime - Ok, I'll bring out the little umbrellas...

Annie Ha said...

Wow, that's a lot of showering. I hope you take quick showers so as to not waste too much of your precious sitting around doing nothing time.

Practically Joe said...

Illegal music downloads on the 9th.
Buying DVDs on the 10th.
I like the way you even things out.
a pirate one day ... a consumer the next.

The Incredible Woody said...

Can I come live in your world?? I can mix a mean Cosmo.....

Bee said...

Except for the itchy balls thing, I wish I were you.

VE said...

annie ha - Yes, very quick. Doing nothing takes up a lot of time you know!

joe - Yeah, gotta make up for that piraty thing. Besides, I've never liked illegal movies for some reason...

incredible woody - Sure...as long as I can still have an umbrella in mine

bee - Yeah, I put that just to see if anyone was actually reading that carefully. ha ha

Sarah said...

haha yes the flusing the weeks down the toilet image is quite accurate.

Quickroute said...

VE for president (if you can get this calendar passed as law)

VE said...

sarah - And leave it to me to point that out and flaunt it...

quickroute - Seems like a lot of work that president thing...

Carla said...

I love the "shower and actually dress." What's not said says so much.

VE said...

carla - Ha ha. No...I'm NOT blogging naked...

angie said...

Why work when you have so many other interesting things to do like swimming with tropical fish?

I haven't stopped in for a while because I was moving out of state. I miss Portland, but I'm loving 94 degrees today. I think it's the first time in 3 years my kids haven't had to wear a sweater in the morning!

VE said...

94 degrees? Where are you living, Death Valley?