Thursday, October 16, 2008

Public Relations

Public relations is a confusing service…

Do they parade your relatives through the city trying to embarrass them?
Do they try and bring the public together into relationships?
Do they help us relate with the public?

Well, let’s examine a famous case from the 70s.

The year: 1977
The scene: Young singer and agent walk into public relations office…

Agent: This is Debbie Boone. We’re trying to put out a hit record for her

PR Man: Any relation to Daniel Boone?

Debbie: None

PR Man: Too bad…we could have used that angle. Oh well, what’s the song?

Debbie: You Light up my Doobie. It’s about my dope smoking days in college…

PR Man: Interesting. But dope in music is dead now. This isn’t the 60s or early 70s anymore sweety. You can’t just come out and declare it anymore.

Debbie: Born at the wrong time…what can I do?

PR Man: What are the lyrics?

Debbie:
You light up my doobie
you bring me dope
to carry on.
You light up my doobie
And help me smoke
This bong.

PR Man: Hmmm… First of all you can’t call it a doobie. That’s been trademarked by the Doobie Brothers. You can’t call it a refer; that’s been dead for years. You can’t call it a joint either. You’re going to have to change it entirely. Breathe new life into it.

Debbie: Life? You mean ‘You Light up My Life?’

PR Man: Perfect…it means nothing. Nobody can complain except the dead…and they’re dead. But this tune does bring me hope so lets keep going…

Debbie: Hope? You mean ‘You Bring me Hope?’

PR Man: Couldn’t have said it better myself. Keep going with these generic nothings. It brightens my day to hear them.

Debbie: Day? You mean “You light up my day?”

PR Man: Terrific. See…you’re a natural. But don’t exclude the night people; they’ll picket you…

Debbie: Night? You mean “and fill my night….with song?”

PR Man: I see a number one hit coming. Thanks for stopping in. Leave a check with my assistant.

42 comments:

Chris Wood said...

So that's how it's done ...

GC (God's Child) said...

well that did a great lot of good 'cause I still like that song
what else can PR man do? I'd like to hear from him again

Dale said...

"Breathe new life into it." Hahahahaha. I knew there was more to this story.

MJ said...

Weed. I was wondering what made that song come into existence...

VE said...

chris - Yes, so many things we should be thanking the PR people for but we didn't even know they helped...

gc - Yes, we'll have to revisit PR man again, won't we?

dale - There had to have been more to the story. Nothing can start out that nausatingly PC...

mj - There you have it. The source of all inspiration...

eve cleveland said...

ve...
That song still haunts me when I am up to the Piggly Wiggly. Maybe now it will have new meaning to me and I will like it much better. I have been wantin to do a re-make of Willie Nelson's old one "You were always in my way."
Dude...why you never come see at at Humor Bloggers? We have fun!
Eve

cathouse teri said...

Damn. And all this time I thought "public relations" was having sex at an outdoor concert.

Roy Scribner said...

Right up there with Blondie, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi and, dare I say it, Frank Sinatra, Deborah is another one of New Jersey's finest!

VE said...

eve - I did go to your blog. I'm still trying to figure out the humor bloggers site though. My password was all messed up and yesterday I got that corrected. Soon...

teri - Ha ha. Careful with that though...you don't want to end up in the C section... (couldn't resist)

VE said...

roy - Ha ha. Yeah...she's just a party animal! Debbie Boone...right up there with a baboon!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I really think it was a sinister plot to come up with a song that would get stuck in people's heads for days. Something to replace the void left by Karen Carpenter.
That God that's one that won't make Guitar Hero.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I meant THANK God, of course.

Or not. Depending.

colbymarshall said...

So have you ever seen the musical Reefer Madness...yes, it does exist, and yes, you do need to watch it :0)

cathouse teri said...

I thought for sure you would say:

No, Teri ~ that is PUBIC relations!

VE said...

prefers her fantasy life - It is an earworm, isn't it? Obviously God is messing with us again... Oh, and don't count on it not being on Guitar hero. It'll be on Guitar Hero: The Pointless Collection.

colby - Ha ha. I actually own it! But I haven't seen it in over 20 years.

teri - That's so funny. That was the first thing that came to my mind but then I went with something else. I'm weird that way...

Carla said...

Cute little scenario. If only it were so easy.

VE said...

carla - You know how I like to simplify everything!

ReformingGeek said...

I had the 70's on XM driving home. I didn't hear Debbie's song but I did here "Which Way You Going Billy"....Anyway, I'll listen to Debbie with a different perspective from now on. BTW, I'm related to Daniel Boone.

Kurt said...

Any relation to Daniel Boone? - indeed!

VE said...

reforminggeek - Daniel Boone...really? Do you have his hat? Cool...

kurt - You know...some day I'm going to feature "the best of Kurt's comments: the indeed sessions..."

cathouse teri said...

Yes, I appreciate your aversion to vulgarity. :)

Michelle Ann said...

I have to say, that is one of the worst songs in recorded history. There is a reason that she only had one....

Jacki said...

And I thought your post was going to be about having relations in public. That would have been interesting.

VE said...

teri - Plus, it's hard to spell...

michelle ann - And a good reason to have fun with it!

jacki - Oh now Jacki. You are under the assumption that I would actually write something interesting... the juvinile in me says "no no no"

ChrisEldin said...

I haven't had a doobie in years. You bring back good memories, my friend.
:-)

Serena said...

NOW we know how these things get done. Where can I get a good, but cheap, PR agent?:)

VE said...

chris - I haven't heard the Doobies in years either...

serena - Yeah, that's the trouble. They're not cheap anymore...

leelee said...

I always hated that song..


HUGS!

VE said...

leelee - Well now you can smile and convert it to mine if you are unfortunate enough to hear it again...

padraig said...

> PR Man: Perfect…it means nothing

I have a sneaking suspicion that this phrase is often uttered in Marketing.

Jeffrey Ellis said...

Ha ha ha ha, nicely done, VE.

Dee said...

heheheheh hehehehehe heheeheh
Thanks for making me laugh!

Quickroute said...

Public relations = having sex in front of peeps - end of 15 second discussion which is as long as 'it' normally lasts too

Bee said...

Well that explains why every time I hear that song I want a joint.

VE said...

padraig - I agree!

jeffery - Thanks

dee - You're welcome, my task is done!

quickroute - I didn't know you could do math ;)

bee - Funny how that works, huh?

Mona said...

No wonder they are called Liaison officers ! :D

VE said...

mona - Better than parole officers!

Jeff said...

I always thought this song would be ironic if you worked in a crematorium.

QuirkyLoon said...

I'd like to see you give us the true stories behind these classics (and you're gonna hate me for getting these tunes stuck in your head, oh well)

Billy Don't Be A Hero
The Night Chicago Died
and...dun dun dun

Seasons in the Sun

Go ahead, please inquiring minds do want to know!

VE said...

jeff - Ha ha. Yes...that should have been in there some how...

quirkyloon - I did a parody on Seasons in the Sun some time ago. Something about it being a one hit wonder... Those others would be excellent blog fodder follow up though

Merrill Guice said...

That song was a hit when I was a jock on a Top 40 station. By the 4th week at #1 people were calling up threatening to fire bomb the station if we played it again.

Hit songs that finally fall off the charts go into the "recurrent" stack for once a day rotation. We tossed our copy and smoked a j in celebration.

VE said...

merrill - Ha ha. Recur that! Very good...