Monday, October 06, 2008

Unfortunate Namings

I feel sorry for Richard Johnson. He’s a double-dick!!!

I feel sorry for Arthur Samuel Smith. He’s an ASS!

But so is Alice Samantha Stewart!

I think the creators of the Mr. Ed show owe all people named Ed a written apology for ruining their childhood by naming a horse “Ed”.

I feel awkward for Robert Bates. Especially when they address him as Mr. Bates. And those email replies about him…yeah…re:bates. Fortunately he never taught martial arts and so nobody had to actually call him Master…

I’m sad about Felix Unger’s little sister Heather. When you see correspondence addressed to her as H. Unger you are reminded that she’s got a problem with anorexia.

I felt sorry for Mona Lisa. Her name is made up of two first names. That’s unfair…

I’m glad they rarely name girls Ida anymore. Ida stopped using that name too if Ida known how many jokes it can generate.

I think the creators of Ugly Betty owe all girls named Betty a written apology for making their social lives that much harder…

38 comments:

Anne said...

I actually know an Ida.

(hey! I"m first today...)

VE said...

anne - Ida sorry about that! Wow, you are first!

MJ said...

See my parents were great to me - they gave me a name that would not only get made fun of because of the various ways people like to mutilate the pronunciation, but it's also a bitch to spell....

Margeaux....

VE said...

mj - They ARE cruel. I'm so sorry. It's like somebody got off on a hideous vowel tangent and then got suddenly cut short witht he dreaded X! But beyond the spelling and pronunciation there is something sexy about French names...

Roy Scribner said...

And to think, you were just a whisper away from being known as VD!

VE said...

Yes, my predecessor, VD, was a party animal but got sick and died...

The Incredible Woody said...

Poor Peter Guber, the movie mogul. Good thing he's loaded!!

Bee said...

I've always felt bad for anybody named Harry.

The Incredible Woody said...

My maiden name was Nutt. So imagine the fun everyone had in middle school dreaming up nicknames for me!!

Kurt said...

My mom's name was Betty, and I've watched every episode of Ugly Betty and never made that connection.

VE said...

incredible woody - Ha ha. I'd be changing my name for sure!

bee - Yes, ever since Starsky & Hutch and Magnum PI, Harry has been out of favor...

incredible woody - Oh yes, I'm all ready imagining them. Chestnutt, peanutt... sorry about that.

Megan said...

Yeah, all the poor Richards.

On a side note, I voted yes to everything in the poll. I'm gross.

VE said...

kurt - I'm sure it's more prevalant with girls in school than it is with mothers. Kids are ruthless you know...

megan - Poor Richards...that's a name of a restaurant here in Portland! Congratulations on being the grossest in the car poll. Sadly, I somehow never puked in the car...

leelee said...

I never puked in a car either...

Hey you've been busy..or I have been absent. I am going to have to comment double time to make up. I sure don't want to lose the coveted 3rd spot on your blog roll. I've worked so hard at achieving that!

I've missed your fantastical Nonsense. There is nothing like it..and I've been on the road looking..

HUGS!!

Kanrei said...

I would feel bad for Robert Bates, except for he should be happy he is not captian of a ship in the 1800's or else he would be Master Bates.

leelee said...

I never puked in a car either...

Hey you've been busy..or I have been absent. I am going to have to comment double time to make up. I sure don't want to lose the coveted 3rd spot on your blog roll. I've worked so hard at achieving that!

I've missed your fantastical Nonsense. There is nothing like it..and I've been on the road looking..

HUGS!!

(see I told ya...double time....wait..am I allowed to do that??)

VE said...

leelee - Welcome back. I have been busy as ever. It took me a bit to get back into the writing groove after my move. I had depleted my posts down to one extra (I usually have about 10 composed ahead of time) and found it hard to come up with funny there for a second. But it came back (at least for now). I don't think you'll lose your third place!

kan - Yes, it would be hard to maintain control of a ship with a name like Bates...

leelee - It's like Dejavu. There must be a glich in the matrix...

unfinishedrambling said...

Takes me back to high school. When I was in cross country, we had a teammate we called Master Bates. His real name: Rocky Bates, I believe. Not much of a joke there, but the Master Bates much better.

ChrisEldin said...

These are clever.
:-)

The Incredible Woody said...

Yours were much nicer than my 'friends' - try Licka, Hugga, etc.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

People think its funny to call me Montana or Ohio. I just stand there with a blank look until they feel uncomfortable. And then I laugh. hahaha....

VE said...

unfinishedramblings - He's probably still in therapy over it!

incredible woody - See, that's why kids are so ruthless, ha ha

arizona - You should play poker professionally!

Jacki said...

Geez....I nearly spit out my coffee from laughing at the Master Bates line.

Serena said...

I had to stop and think a minute about Richard Johnson. I must be more tired than I thought.:-)

Jeff said...

I may have mentioned this before, but when my brother was in boot camp, his C/O was Richard Head, and he was a Major. Seriously... he was an actual Major DickHead!

Uncivil said...

I always used Phil and Ilene for my name pranks!


You know Phil don't ya?
Phil deez nutz!!!!!

You know Ilene don't ya?
Ilene over and you kiss my arse!

Alex L said...

It was a bad day when one of my primary school friends found out my name could also be a girls name.

Mother Theresa said...

I would love to leave a good smart-ass comment on this one, but just showing up is about all I can manage.

monica said...

My great grandmother is called Ida, my cousin is called Ida - I like the name very much!! You just need to pronounce it the proper Scandinavian way : " EDA " :o)

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I taught ESL for a number or years and I had a Chinese student named Kok Hung Lo.

We called him Lo.

Chris Wood said...

Luckily my original name of Fellatio Gobshite was treated with immense sympathy by all. I only changed it on a whim.

VE said...

jacki - It's a classic!

serena - How goes the move? I'll bet you haven't stopped that much lately...

jeff - Wow! Boot camp is not the place for you to point that out though...

uncivil - Ha! Good ones. I always has the What do you call a woman with only one leg? Ilene. What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene. Yeah, I wasn't very culturaly sensative back then...

alex - But then again it's short for Alexander and he was a world leader and also like men and...never mind...

mother theresa - Holy molly (which I have no idea what molly is). Glad you showed up. I wondered what happened to you. I was about to put your picture on a Milk carton...

Monica - Eda? I Eda lot on barbeque night! Yeah, I know that other countries the names probably fit and sound a lot better. I'm so uncultural here, aren't I?

prefers her fantasy life - He probably got a lot of respect, didn't he?

VE said...

chris - You are cracking me up! ha ha ha. Well then again, Chris Wood but his brother would not!

lime said...

true story....
i once met a korean girl who was a law student, named sue yoo

my husband went to school with a guy named justin case

we also both knew guys named dick ball and dick shook.

i am not making any of that up. sad isn't it?

VE said...

lime - Bwahahaha...sue yoo. What a great lawyer name! I feel sorry for all of those people!

Evil Genius said...

I have a brother-in-law named Randy. Now what parent in their right mind would name their kid after people who are so horny all they can think about is getting laid?

I wonder how many Randy's ever actually make it through college.

Dee said...

and you forgot my favorite Amanda Hohl. as in A. Hohl

VE said...

evil genius - I never thought about Randy that way...I'm not sure why either!

dee - Ah yes, a classic for sure! I've known a lot of her relatives!