Wednesday, October 08, 2008

VE's Vanity Store

Welcome to VE’s Vanity Store…

We have all the latest products for even the most vain of you out there.

This just in…our vanity label stickers…

That’s right, simply stick on our real like designer labels and you too can go around proudly displaying your vain fake waist size to everyone that will bother to look…

Are mirrors not your friend? Then you need our “Vanity Circus Fun Mirror”.


It works on the principle of the Circus fun mirrors that distort your image to look really heavy or really skinny. But in our mirrors they only slightly distort the image and return a wonderful vain reflection back to you. Get up every morning with new confidence!

Come see all the wonderful products we offer to help delude you into a false sense of confidence and self esteem…

35 comments:

Evil Genius said...

Any way you can make those mirrors portable so everywhere I go I'll still see that same sexy "me"? LOL

Mrs. R said...

I need to get me one of those mirrors...

VE said...

evil genius - We're working on special glasses that everybody can wear. They'll show uncrowded streets, no litter, buff people and perfect lawns...

VE said...

mrs r - We'll send out a catalog!

Roy Scribner said...

Come see all the wonderful products we offer to help delude you into a false sense of confidence and self esteem…
Ben Bernanke, is that you?

Kanrei said...

Are you running the Plain/ McClane campaign?

VE said...

roy - Ha ha. It would seem so, huh? And after you have that false sense of confidence we'll send you over to a very exclusive spa on taxpayers bailout dime just like the AIG executives...

VE said...

kan - It's all smoke and mirrors, smoke and mirrors. I think David Blaine is running that campaign though...

GC (God's Child) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mona said...

Where are you selling those? Tell me & I will send you customers for 30% commission!

I like your redneck hanging planters! :D

Sarah said...

I mean really Levis, who thought it would be a good idea to broadcast your size on the oustide of your pants?! :)

leelee said...

I like the mirror (even though I don't need it)

hugs!

VE said...

mona - Ha ha. Yes, you can be my outside sales manager, I'll even throw in a planter!

sarah - Duh! Might as well have a place to put your age on their too while they're at it...

leelee - No, you don't need it! Imagine what would happen to Amy Winehouse if she looked in it...would she disappear or would it make her would it make her not look like a crack smoking anorexia patient?

Memarie Lane said...

Aren't clothing manufacturers already doing this? :P

Quickroute said...

I need that mirror to hide my beer gut

Kurt said...

How about a vanity blog that comes with 30 comments for every post?

MJ said...

Is there any way to make it seem like I'm wearing diamonds instead of the fake stuff?

VE said...

marie - Feels like it sometimes! Good point...

quickroute - Then you could drink more beer!

kurt - Ha ha. Perfect. That could be a new business...a company that has many, many blog accounts and gets paid to comment on blogs to pump up their owners and readership!

mj - Yes, just hang a huge DeBeers tag from them...

justacoolcat said...

I call it alcohol.

Matt-Man said...

Will that Vanity Mirror make me look...um...bigger? Cheers!!

Roy Scribner said...

Wait a minute, the rest of you aren't getting paid?

Megan said...

I call it lots of alcohol.

VE said...

justacoolcat - The trouble with that is you see three of you!

matt-man - With our new special female translation glasses you will look exactly as big as they envision they want you to be. These are available in contact form and can easily be put on them while they sleep!

megan - And a dark room...

VE said...

roy - Paid? I give mine to the little people that have helped me along the way...wait...that was an old McCain speech...

unfinishedrambling said...

I know my wife says I have a cute ass (too much information), but (no pun intended, ouch) I hope the only one that's looking that closely at my pants labels is my wife. Maybe my doctor, but he already knows the truth anyway.

VE said...

unfinishedrambling - Nanananana...there, I missed the too-much-info part. But everyone is looking. You won't know it, they won't admit it and they don't even know why they do it. They just do.

Dee said...

I WANT THAT MIRROR!

Serena said...

LOL! That mirror is hysterical. With a good marketing campaign, you could sell millions.:)

Practically Joe said...

Sorry ... no need for your vanity sticker ...
I wear a big wide belt to cover up my 38 short.

Oh ... and about this comment ...
You now owe me another five dollars bringing the total to $285.00. Please remit.

monica said...

yep - I'll have 5 of those mirrors , one for alle rooms. As well as the model that fits in cars.. that'll be good. :o)

Qelqoth said...

I'm actually proud of my morbid obesity. A lot of work went into creating a gut that sploshes and slumps around.

A lot of beer, curry and pizza. Sometimes all at once. And after all my hard work, you want me to get one of these mirrors?!

Fine...I'll do it and I'll still be beautiful.

Jacki said...

How about a mirror that turns a 100-lb, flat-chested woman into someone that has the body of Scarlett Johansen? Or how about a device that just gives me a body like hers?

VE said...

dee - Sure you do...who doesn't?

serena - Why is it always so much work to make millions. Can't somebody just leave it on my front porch?

joe - Wow, you're comments are expensive. I can usually bribe friends for just an M&M

monica - Then you'll need the Costco economy 12 pack kit

qelqoth - Curry beer...interesting

jacki - I'd like to 'have' the body of Scarlett...well, in a different way ha ha

QuirkyLoon said...

I'll take two of each. You did promise free shipping right?

Please tell me you promised free shipping!

VE said...

quirkyloon - There's always a catch isn't there? Shipping is free but will take 17 years. We'll be shipping by ant colony...