Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Where has all the good music gone?

I was over at House of Lime and woe and behold, she had featured some meme activity that had you break apart the top 100 songs from your high school graduation year and put them into some personalization of what you like, hate etc.

Of course I was amused enough to go check out my year. Uggh. They were as bad as her year. In fact, as I went through year after year I noticed a disturbing trend. All the stupid trendy obnoxious songs were right up there. Think I’m kidding? Check out this:

1974 – The Steak, Ray Stevens (number 8)
1975 – Rhinestone Cowboy, Glen Campbell (number 2)
1976 – Silly Love Songs, Paul McCartney and Wings (number 1)
1977 – I Just Want to Be Your Everything, Andy Gibb (number 2)
1978 – You Light Up My Life, Debbie Boone (number 5)
1979 – Reunited, Peaches and Herb (number 5)
1980 – Do that to Me One More Time, Captain and Tennille (number 5)
1981 - Bette Davis Eyes, Kim Carnes (number 1)
1982 - Physical, Olivia Newton-John (number 1)
1983 - Mr. Roboto, Styx (number 28)
1984 – Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr. (number 9)
1985 – We Built This City, Starship (number 14)
1986 - Party All the Time, Eddie Murphy (number 7)
1987 – Walk Like an Egyptian, Bangles (number 1)
1988 - Hungry Eyes, Eric Carmen (number 25)


Need I go on?

Seriously, do any of you have these on your ipod? I just don’t feel the urge crank up the stereo and listen to Rhinestone Cowbody. Ever! If anyone ever compiles these into a CD it should come with this: “Warning…your ears could bleed”

But back to my year. Ok, I’m plenty old having graduated in 1979. And it was a banner year too. Just pull out the tight fitting pants with the wide bell bottoms and the polyester vest and take a gander back with me for some snippets…

Peaches and Herb had two songs in the top 40. Two! Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice and somebody must have drugged and lobotomized me to allow two of their songs in there. They shouldn’t even have a name like that in the music industry. They should be some kind of nasty health food product over at Whole Foods!

13. When You’re In Love With a Beautiful Woman, Dr. Hook. I think it would have had more of a lasting edge if it had been a hideous woman there Dr. And exactly what is he a doctor of?

Donna Summer had more top 100 songs on the list than she even had songs. I don’t know how that is possible but it was the disco era…

9. Ring My Bell, Anita Ward Wait for this…you’ve got to see these lyrics:

You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ding-dong-ding)
You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ring-a-ling-a-ling)
You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ding-dong-ding)
You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ring-a-ling-a-ling)

(you can ring my bell, you can ring my bell
ding, dong, ding, ah-ah, ring it!
you can ring my bell, anytime, anywhere
ring it, ring it, ring it, ring it, oww!
you can ring my bell, you can ring my bell
ding, dong, ding, ah-ah, ring it!
you can ring my bell, anytime, anywhere
ring it, ring it, ring it, ring it, oww!)

You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ding-dong-ding)
You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ring-a-ling-a-ling)
You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ding-dong-ding)
You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ring-a-ling-a-ling)

WTF??? Is it any wonder we flock to Bob Dylan even though his voice is like a mumbling gravel gargle? At least he had meaningful lyrics…

26. Don’t Cry Out Loud, Melissa Manchester. Yeah, just keep it inside. You can use it for baggage when you internet date on match.com 25 years later! Good advice…

37. I was Made for Dancin’, Leif Garrett. But apparently his best friend wasn’t…he made him a paraplegic this same year when he crashed his car under the influence of Quaaludes and alcohol. He now survives as a C-rate celebrity doing reality TV shows.

19. What a Fool Believes, Doobie Brothers. The irony is that the fools are us believing that Michael MacDonald was good for the Doobie Brothers. What a shame…

20. I’ll Never Love This Way Again, Dionne Warwick. I don’t know… I keep trying to picture which position she’s referencing…

40. The Gambler, Kenny Rogers. I have to give the wife credit for this but his other hideous song “Coward of the County” suddenly came on to the cable TV music stations and she remarked that it was actually “The Gambler” but with different words. Low and behold, she was right. You could swap these songs interchangeably. Each one as stupid and sappy as the other…

I could go on and on. In fact, “On and On” is one of those stupid top 100 songs from one of the years. I know you want to hear me rip up musicians like Anne Murray, Firefall, Sister Sledge, Hot Chocolate, and Cher! But next time, next time.

44 comments:

The Incredible Woody said...

Top hit for 1985 - Careless Whisper by Wham!

Thank god I ran with the pot-smoking crowd. Pot-smokers always listen to great music!!

VE said...

incredible woody - I know. I went back and looked up 1974 and from the top 100 you wouldn't have even known Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon existed! Aaack. That is just wrong...

Megan said...

Is this Billboard's Top 100? Because that explains it...

Kanrei said...

There was a challenge on another blog a while ago to list the number one song and album for every year you were alive. I was born in 1971 and, by 1983 I was ready to shoot myself. It was a great era for cheese (Disco Duck), but quality was not appriciated by the masses.

colbymarshall said...

Um, I actually do have two of these on my ipod...um...yeah...

VE said...

megan - Yeah...I think it might be. It does explain a lot but it still doesn't explain why people have such bad taste!

kan - Another blog? Another blog? There are no other blogs! I feel so dejected. I'm gonna go listen to Disco Duck...

colby - You do? Ok...contest everybody...which songs does Colby have on her ipod??? I'm going to guess Silly Love Songs and Reunited...

Kanrei said...

VE....it was the Onion AV Club so don't worry; I am not cheating on you.

MJ said...

Is it any wonder we flock to Bob Dylan even though his voice is like a mumbling gravel gargle?

NO KIDDING.

Sornie said...

If that is what constitutes good music, I'd hate to see bad. Any where the hell is "Disco Duck"?

leelee said...

I must say that in my year 1976..a number of good bands were represented:
The Who, Paul Simon,Aerosmith, Queen.

But boy there are a lot of duds on there too and the sad fact is, I probably know the words to every song on the list..even the disco stuff.

and nope..not a one on my ipod from your list...there are a few on my ipod from my year though..Bohemian Rhapsody, Sara Smile, Golden Years..and of course Disco Duck by Rick Dees....KIDDING!!!!

HUGS!

leelee said...

1976 Sornie

leelee said...

damn it VE, now I have an earworm:

more..more more....how'dyou like it, how'dyou like it..

that will stay with me all day now..thanks a lot!

Megan said...

I'm just so sad for the Class of 87 (i.e. me)...Walk Like an Egyptian? Really? I mean that's really damn sad.

VE said...

kan - Ah, The Onion. Ok, I feel much better now...

mj - How many times can our songs be so dumb before we stop buying that crap? How many weeks will they hit number one before we admit music is not RAP? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind...

sornie - Don't tempt them. I'm sure they can come up with worse stuff too. 1976 is the Disco Duck era...God help us...

leelee - Good for you. Try finding Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd on any of the lists. They're practically not...
And sorry about that earworm...

megan - I was stunned that was the number 1 for that year. What were you thinking!!!! ha ha ha

Roy Scribner said...

Wow, that list doesn't look like anything that I'm even remotely familiar with - LOL! You've got me by a couple years, but I was hanging at the Roseland, Satyricon and Pine Street in the early 80's. Leif Garrett, wasn't he a regular on the Love Boat?

VE said...

roy - Well you probably saw real music then if you were hanging at those places. Meanwhile the non-real music was apparently making all the money from stupid people.

The Incredible Woody said...

I'm gonna guess Bette Davis Eyes and The Streak.......

Jacki said...

Man, you are old. My parents graduated highschool in 1976, and I was born in '77.

I don't even remember what songs were out when I graduated in '95. I just remember it being a lot of those annoying dance club mixes.

lime said...

the name melissa manchester makes me cringe. i just think if her other big hit "macarthur park"....someone left the cake out in the rain.....wtf kind of opening line is that to a song?

ugh

GC (God's Child) said...

1997 wasn't so bad
Chumbawamba tubthumping
Erykah Badu On and on
lots of Sheryl Crow

VE said...

incredible woody - She'll have to come back and see who's right. I'll stalk her blog and make her!

jacki - Ha ha. Yeah, but bitchlet would call you old! She's only like 19 or some crazy thing. The difference between generations is that because we didn't have so many choices we just had to listen to the radio and therefore we got a lot of exposure to older songs as well as current stuff. I don't see younger generations having nearly the exposure and/or appreciation for what was done before them. Not all of it was this crap you know!

lime - Ha ha ha. I've always wondered about that line too. I'm just amazed I didn't blog about that earlier. Oh well, so many stupid songs so little blog time...

gc - I like Tubthumping. I have no idea what it's about or what the bands name is about though. Oh, and Sheryl Crow is ok with me. She can come on over any time!

Kurt said...

I only keep 40 minutes of music on my ipod because I only listen to it on the treadmill, but in my CD collection, you will find Rhinestone Cowboy, Silly Love Songs, I Just Want to Be Your Everything, You Light Up My Life, Bette Davis Eyes, and Walk Like an Egyptian.

Quickroute said...

thanks - I can't stop humming Ring my Bell - no sleep for me tonight

Michelle Ann said...

I had to actually check my Ipod...thankfully, none were on. But I do have a Def Leppard Greatest Hits CD, Saturday Night Fever and a compliation of Earth Wind and Fire.

What punishment will the Great Ve be giving me?

Serena said...

My year isn't listed so I don't know what our song was. We had some great stuff that year, though.

HeyJoe said...

It's probably been mentioned, but I loathe that Pina Colada song.

Kelley said...

Man, you are old. Should I start calling you daddy?

Um. Hang on. That year would make you as old as my husband... eww eww eww *scrubbing the 'daddy' reference out of my head*

Annie Ha said...

There is nothing wrong with Silly Love Songs, man.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I graduated in 1987 and my best friend LOVED the song Walk Like An Egyptian. She made me listen to it every morning in her car on the way to school. I freaking hated it. Still do. I hated everything about high school, actually....

Alex L said...

How the hell did jefferson airplane morph into starship... thats what I want to know.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I didn't see David Bowie or David Bryne on the list. That's who I was listening to.

VE said...

kurt - Ok, that is scary...

quickroute - That's a bad ear worm one too...

michelle ann - I suggest spankings! Ha ha ha. Actually, there is nothing wrong with Saturday Night Fever in my book, it was a sign of the times.

serena - I went up and I went down further but it's all about the same. They just seemed to find all these ridiculous songs...

heyjoe - No, it wasn't even mentioned. Didn't you know we all LOVE that song. Why...we support his entire catalog of songs. For our money, it doesn't get any better than that. Sorry...I was quoting Office Space there... Yeah, that one is very lame.

kelley - Who's your daddy! ha ha ha

annie ha - And why is that, I'd like to know, cause here I go...again...

arizona - There is one thing I liked about high school...it ended

alex - It's a sad sordid tale that I cannot tell without tearing up...

prefers her fantasy life - And good choices for sure. That's why they're not on there. The good stuff rarely made it on the list very high. Creedence Clearwater Revival never got a number one hit. Ever. Neither did Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

padraig said...

In 1989, the first song that I can say I actually regard as being a good song is number 51, "So Alive", by Love and Rockets.

There are some guilty enjoyments higher on the list, but none of them actually have any musical quality about them.

Jesus, there's a Donny Osmond song at #57.

1989 sucked pretty hard core.

VE said...

padraig - Well at least you found one song. We won't talk about Donny Osmand...pretend you didn't see it...

QuirkyLoon said...

Ok you have me in a riot over here.

Do I dare admit, I used to sing along with Ring My Bell. *ding dong ding* Thanks for getting that crazy whacky tune in my head and now there's no stopping me. Where is the karaoke machine?

Thank goodness for Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, my 11 yr old sings Dream On, Sweet Emotion, Pink, etc. In other words some good music.

Whew!

VE said...

quirkyloon - Oh I know...that one is hard to get rid of once you start in with it. Yes...Guitar hero is making kids this generation rock literate...

Johnny Virgil said...

I think you meant "The Streak."

"The Steak" is a completely different song.

VE said...

johnny - Ha ha. Good catch. Nobody but you caught that. I never catch anything...mostly because I never read it. I'm glad nobody caught it...red meat isn't that good for you...

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I hate johnny. He stole my Steak comment.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I'm a Melissa but nobody would ever dare call me a MANchester! I never skipped a grade at school but i did get to skip the whole training bra thing because I was so advanced at a young age.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I have XM Radio. I listen to a tremendous amount of 70's cheese on it. Thanks to their 70's vocabulary lessons, my daughters now know what bazongas and ta tas are.

We must keep this dying language alive!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I like Southern Nights by Glen Campbell. He was raised in an orphanage down the road in Galveston so I feel like I can't trash him too much. Oh, and he just released a CD where he covers songs from the Foo Fighters and Travis. You know what? It's really good!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I think that lyrics like "When you're in love with a beautiful woman, you know it's HARD" was Dr. Hook's lame 70's attempt at being profane and crass without triggering censors. What exactly is it? And why does IT keep getting hard?

Perv. Dr. Hook should have written some songs with Captain Beefheart. He was afraid of censorship.

Hmmm, A Captain and a Dr. together. Almost enough to open their very own Love Boat. They just need a bartender and a Gopher. I guess they could always borrow the muskrat from Muskrat Love.

VE said...

elastic - Ha ha ha. Good interpretation on the Dr. Hook song. You're probably right on that one. Oh, and exactly what is a training bra training to be?