Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The Gateway

I was driving down the road and saw a billboard that said “Marijuana…the gateway to Meth” or something like that. It showed this guy kicked back smoking a joint and then a seriously gross picture of some meth user. Nothing like fear advertising…

But wait a minute. These things do lead to more. Look at this progression. First they started jacking up the back ends of their cars

Then they decided they should do it the other way (ala lowrider)

But they didn’t stop there. Oh no. What if we jack up both?
But these people couldn’t be stopped. They had to keep getting bigger until they got as big as they could legally

And when that wasn’t enough to appease they started doing it to ridiculous autos. First it was their brother’s bug

But then they got a hold of Dad’s prized Delorean

There seemed to be no end to it. Even when they went to the golf course
They spread it out to the rural areas and onto their cousin's farms
They started converting simple unicycles to the principle
Even their kids were addicted
Ultimately through years of psychology, addiction therapy, hypnosis, juggling and astrology reading they can cure their addiction. But you can see how one little act can start the whole thing going. Guess I’ll put out my joint now…

31 comments:

QuirkyLoon said...

Boy, I needed a good laugh this morn and VE, you did not fail me!

That blue big truck with the ridiculously large tires....is...
INSANE!!! And each photo after that is just more insane, if that's possible!

By the way, I want one of those golf-carts!

How hilarious!

EmmaK said...

Actually the slogan is not so far fetched. I had a cold a few weeks back and started taking Nyquil, now the colds gone and I still take Nyquil every night to get to sleep! Ergo I'm an addict, ergo it contains meth, a rocky road lol

You know how sad americans are. Everyone has to have an addiction. I'd love to go on Oprah and stand up and say with a straight face, "I am Emma K and I am a Nyquil addict. It started at just a spoonful a day and now [breaks down] I am snorting a bottle a week."

I have tagged you for a meme! I am hoping your musical tastes are awful.

VE said...

quirkyloon - See...let everyone else talk about the election. VE goes his own way...

VE said...

emmak - Ha ha. Nyquil. That stuff is addicting! Are you doing the Nyquil syringes yet? Such handy marketing containers... A meme? Have you seen what I do to these? I NEVER play by the rules! Ever. Never ever ever! Never never ever ever!

EmmaK said...

I am at the stage where I mix Nyquil with my coffee just to do the school run!

I don't do memes either but you will do mine. You can play it every which way but loose but just do it. kisses

The Incredible Woody said...

It is all too easy to go down that slippery slope. It all started simply enough. I thought I'll just eat one little Reese's cup to curb my craving. Then it was the little Hershey bar and the little bag of M&Ms.

Then I switched to the hard stuff - Skittles, Sweettarts, and Laffy Taffy. All of which could only lead to one place - Pixie Sticks.

Now I sit recovering in my living room which is littered with tiny little wrappers.

Maybe I'll just have one Reese's cup to take the edge off....

VE said...

emmak - Ok, ok...I'll be over un momento...

incredible woody - That one is a hard one to stop. I'm up to putting my reeses cup inside my twinkie and then baking that into my chocolate pie which I then insert the whole thing into my chocolate cake and then throw that whole thang smack dab into a vat of pudding. Delicious! Yeah, I might be at a slightly advanced stage...so what!!!!

Roy Scribner said...

I was always one of those counter-culture rebel kids who stood on the big wheel, kind of like Chuck Heston in Ben Hur.

Of course my time on the big wheel was short, because in 1974 the "Yellow Banana" skateboard with the awesome urethane wheels came out and, well, the rest is history!

Chris Wood said...

So what you're saying is, smoke a joint, get ready for massive tyres?

Jacki said...

Ugh...around here all the dumb teenage boys jack up their trucks and hang out in shopping center parking lots on Thursday and Friday nights. It's so annoying.

Kurt said...

Is THAT what your 100 mph bug looked like?

Cunning_Linguist said...

I'd seriously drive that big-wheel around without any issues.

Megan said...

How did juggling get in there?

VE said...

roy - I was there with the skateboards too. I even had a 6 foot ramp that had wheels on the side so I could roll this huge monstrosity over to the school yard and skate. It's a wonder I survived...

chris - That's exactly it! Be careful...those tires aren't cheap!

jacki - You know what they say...the bigger the truck...the smaller the...

kurt - Ha ha. This is how the Hatfield and McCoys started too you know! You've seen my VW...I posted photos of it even.

cunning-linguist - That says a lot you realize! I'd want big tires on my Segway...

megan - Juggling is an important tool in all theraputic remedies. Hostile dwarf juggling is only recommended for advanced therapy though...

Jeff said...

I actually like that Beetle. And I had a car like the one in the first picture, except mine wasn't hot pink. It was more of a pastel pink.

VE said...

jeff - Yeah...all of us 70s kids had or wanted a car like that...but I think only you wanted pink! I had the Beetle...but I went with a dropped down look instead. Now if I could just convince Kurt that it actually did go over 100mph...

Giggle Pixie said...

It's true! My rabid Starbucks addiction started with one regular cup of coffee!!!!!

Sarah said...

That last picture caused me to take a moment of silence for my old Smurf bigwheel. Remember big wheels from the 80's? God I love those!!!

ReformingGeek said...

So that explains why I'm addicted to your blog.

I also love the bug.

VE said...

giggle pixie - Yes, you'll be planting coffee in the back yard for harvesting and strapping on your backpack and IV soon...

sarah - Ah yes...big wheels...the only bike I could ever ride in the house

reforminggeek - Just avoid the archives. God knows what I wrote before...

Quickroute said...

My name is Quickroute and I'm an addict
Where does one purchase these?

Serena said...

So THAT'S what's up with all those big wheels on the roads. Since I so such at Math, I never put 2 and 2 together. Lord only knows what eccentric habits addicts of your blog will pick up.:)

VE said...

quickroute - Yes, I can see that you'd be addicted here!

serena - Yes, I never thought about people picking up habits on here...

Bee said...

I would need a ladder for each one of those souped up hoopties!

Hey, I volunteered for the Blog Swap, are you gonna participate? It was YOUR idea... ;op

Kelley said...

Dude, I am totally doing that to my desk at work.

Get me some extra cool points I am thinking.

Or get people to leave me the hell alone.

VE said...

bee - Of course, I'll show up for my own idea!!!

kelley - Good idea...always scare people away. I leave a moat around my cube and demand that people address me as "the slave worker formerly known as..."

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I blame it all on Ike and Tina and to some extent CCR.

We should ban Proud Mary and all it's talk of Big Wheels Keep On Turning, immediately!

VE said...

Don't blame CCR, there not the fortunate son!

Maureen said...

I would never let hubby on that golf cart. He manages to flip the normal sized ones all the time... which explains why we don't go golfing anymore...

VE said...

maureen - Wow, sounds like you need a helmet and safety gear when golfing with him!

Elizabeth said...

Thanks for the great story! I laughed out loud at the pictures. I was on Google looking for pictures of cars and the way they used to jack them up in the back in the 70s and came across the picture of your pink car.
I'm writing a blog about cruising small town streets. Check it out!
AboutHalfABubbleOff.blogspot.com