Monday, November 24, 2008

My English Thanksgiving

VE and I have agreed to swop blogs for the holiday post. You can find him over at mine, where he’s probably drinking all the beer & putting his feet up on the mantelpiece. Fair nuff.

Americans have many holidays in which thanks is given to one group or another. It could be veterans, individuals, some situations in general or just for the fact that you don’t live elsewhere.

Being English, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. No disrespect. We do have All Scrote’s Day, on which we remember people we don’t like who are dead (NB ‘Scrote’ rhymes with ‘coat.’). This isn’t exactly a big celebration, but it’s a good excuse for a drink.

The school I went to did not focus much on other country’s celebrations, focusing more on manly sports like catching the javelin and heading the shot.

I did learn that senior members of the Catholic clergy have necks that telescope out like ET or that main zombie in Evil Dead 2. This makes them look extra pious and gives them the right to wear especially big hats. This is called Papal Bling.

This man is especially holy. He has many bitches.

Conversely, these clerics have been naughty. They have lost their right to wear big hats.

See if you can spot which one had the most fun

The trend carries on all the way up the Catholic food chain, right up to the Pope.

Clearly not a Nazi

As to the big hats, whether or not this means God takes extra notice of them, or that the congregation can see these men from further away and thus find it easier to avoid them, I don’t know.

But anyway, Thanksgiving.

Seeing as this post is about that, I thought I’d mention a few things me & mine have been grateful for recently.

A teenager was in a coma following a car accident. He was the son of a family friend, and had been ploughed down early one evening.

Now, doctors are vague on this type of thing. He may wake up or he may not, is their approach. These friends of ours, eager to try anything that might help, put a radio in his room, hoping the music would rouse him.

Their prayers were answered.

One attendant changed the radio station while cleaning the room. Our stricken friend gave small signs of noticing this and, during a Garth Brooks song, this young man got up out of his coma and turned it off.

Joy. In more ways than one.

Big celebrations make me think of family. When I was younger, Christmas was always a big occasion, full of relatives, food, burping and old movies. Much like anybody else’s.

One year I remember my gran being particularly sad at the news. An old lady had been attacked, very viciously, and the local news dwelt on this shocking business. My gran was especially disgusted at this unpleasantness.

“Ah,” she said sadly, “there was none of this violence during the war.”

A wise view, I think we can all agree.


I Am Woody said...

I'm all for skipping Thanksgiving and moving right along to All Scrotes Day!

Unknown said...

The Incredible Woody - sounds like you'll be having an enjoyable All Scrotes Day very soon. Good on you!

Anonymous said...

Wow, "VE" sounds kind of sexy with an accent...oh's not VE?

That explains it!!! ha ha ha

Fun post!

Unknown said...

QuirkyLoon - I'm trying to say "VE" in a number of different accents right now. & thank you!

ReformingGeek said...

I think we just invented Thanksgiving to give the retail season an official kick-off ;-)

Anyway, nice post.

Bee (the one who muses) said...

Ha ha! I always thought that naughtiest ones were the ones with the biggest hats.

I'm surprised he didn't take a bed pan to the radio. Why would someone torture others with GB songs? Cruel and unusual punishment!

Unknown said...

ReformingGeek - fair enough, over here we just have a slew of crappy TV ads to do that. & thanks!

Bee - damn right on both the hats and Mr Brooks' singing!

Megan said...

Ah, the neverending comedic power of men in funny hats!

I am enjoying the blog swaps today. Now must go see what VE did to you!

Anonymous said...

I picture All Scrotes Day a bit differently I think.

But I think I like my picture better than the real one.


leelee said...

Hold up there Chris Wood..I think you are joshing us about your celebrating All Scrote's Day..I think your having a giggle..

I liked your post despite your funnin' us..



Brian o vretanos said...


Brian o vretanos said...

I'm not sure about this Scrote's day malarky. What are you supposed to do if you can't think of anyone?

Serena said...

Thank you, Chris Wood, for the Theology primer. I'm way lapsed, didn't even remember what a Scrote was.:)

Unknown said...

Megan - men in funny hats rock, comedy wise. Religion wise, not so sure.

Giggle Pixie - All Scrote's Day is traditionally upheld in the taste of the celebrant. I think.

Leelee - maybe just a little!

Brian - I think you improvise. Hitler tends to be popular.

Serena - glad I could help instruct!

Anonymous said...

So the bigger the hat, the better the man? Hmmm...I'll by that.

All Scrote's Day gives me the giggles for some reason!

Great post, erm, not VE. :)

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

Chris - just a heads up VE is a devil worshiper - you've been warned!

Alex L said...

Well good taste doesnt stop just because you're in a coma... haha take that Garth Brooks

Ed said...

Well Chris, that was fun. When you're back from the missionary be sure to stop in with a comment or two. ps...where are my Cocoa Puffs? Never eat my Cocoa Puffs!

Unknown said...

AngieSS - All Scrote's Day is a solemn & serious business. Well, usually. Glad you liked it!

Quickroute - yes, I know. I found some very, erm, bizarre things around his blog area. Quite disturbing, frankly.

Alex L - I quite agree!

VE - sorry, I love Cocoa Puffs! BTW there are some odd marks on my carpet, I'm just saying ...

Ed said...

chris - Hey, that stain was a LOT bigger earlier. I thought the bleach did a fairly good job disguising it!

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

Ha! THat's funny...none of this violence during the war....very wise, yes!

Ed said...

arizona - That Chris...he's sharp!

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