Friday, December 19, 2008

Books with Nothing

I was in the book store recently looking for something truly useless but funny to give as an add-on present. I stumbled across a book entitled “Things to Look forward to in Retirement”. It might have been slightly different than that because I have the attention span of a gnat…

Anyway, the book was just full of blank pages!

How utterly ingenious is that? I bow to them for that idea! Imagine how many books they could publish? The titles are flipping through my mind as I write this…

- Lawyers that care
- Mattress Stores NOT holding a sale
- Edible and Tasty buffet foods
- Undiscovered countries
- Men who understand women
- Women who understand men
- Sexual Positions never tried before
- Benefits of a Career as a Taxi Driver
- Top 100 Pleasant Feeling Surgical Procedures
- Why school and homework is Fun

Come on…how hard can it be to publish books like this? While the rest of the world is agonizing over writers block these guys are cranking out one empty book after another all the way to the bank!

This is like the Pet Rock of the publishing world! As long as it makes money, the publishers have to love it. Talk about ease of editing…there isn’t any! They’ll love you for that. Oh, and rejection letters: How could they use the standard templates? There’s no material!!!! They can’t complain about it being too long or too short or not their style. There is no style.

Simply brilliant…

33 comments:

Roy Scribner said...

VE, there's a ton of those already. They're commonly referred too as "blog marketing books."

ReformingGeek said...

That's great. You have solved the writer's block problem! Life is so simple now.

You know we will have to add on to your titles:

Doctors that listen to people older than 65.

Doctors that listen....

Kids that clean their room without being asked.

Happy Friday!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...Reasons NOT to drink beer...

VE said...

roy - I'm slow to catch on and don't get out much I guess. Still...blog marketing books...good one!

reforminggeek - Yeah...my daughter could have no posessions what-so-ever and her room would still somehow be messed up

phfrankie - Well normally I'd agree with you but I'm actually allergic to it so I'm afraid I could fill pages with stories on testing that allergy in my 20s...

Chris C said...

Government Achievements For the Betterment of Mankind

Micky-T said...

What Your Elected Leaders Do For You. by....E.Z. Pickens

Sornie said...

I will leg wrestle you for the rights to this book idea. Pure genius and there's plenty of suckers willing to buy it.

Megan said...

My brain is stuck, I can't think of anything good.

But your list is fabulous!

Chris Eldin said...

LOL! I don't know why I'm drawn to edible and tasty buffet foods...
:-)

Kurt said...

Mattress Stores NOT holding a sale, indeed!

Giggle Pixie said...

How about "Corporate Execs with brains AND heart!"

Serena said...

Sounds like a brave new world for the publishing industry, never mind that that's about what my own work in progress looks like right now. Just think -- when publishing switches to that format, you can make the novel you're reading come out any way you want it to.:)

Beth said...

Damn. Another missed opportunity.
And God knows, I have plenty of empty books in my head - with the blank paper to prove it.

Jeff said...

I once wrote a post about nothing with nothing in it. Oddly enough, it was one of my highest commented posts. Go figure.

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marvel Goose said...

 

Marvel Goose said...

Well, there's a post with nothing, let's see what happens.

Btw, VE, do I get two posts out of this?

,-)

Alex L said...

Great moments in the history of Street theatre...

Practically Joe said...

I was working on a pretty sexy book.
A sort of autobiography called ...
"All the Girls I Didn't Marry"
This book actually had pages filled with great stories but my wife found it hidden in the garage and now, ironically, all that's left are a few blank pages.

Nessa said...

I wonder if I could write a book like that? How much time do you think it would take?

VE said...

chris c - Isn't that what we voted them in for?

micky-t - Make you vote?

sornie - You'd win, I'm terrible at leg wrestling.

megan - Drink some WD40...it unsticks everything!

chris - Ha ha. I laugh everytime I read that one. I don't know why...

kurt - I got mine on sale! Woohoo

giggle pixie - It's in a different kind of book. It under the 'brown paper sack' series and is just called corporate execs. Yep...it's full of shit too...

serena - Yes, true. And it will help my kids get their reading homework done faster too

beth - Wow. Good to see you after a long time. Blank books in the head..who knew there were so many amoung us!

jeff - I thought it was your best work. Very insightful! ;)

marvel goose - Sorry...one tally per post! But feel free to comment as much as you like anyway!

alex - Well of course! Street theatre IS history!

practically joe - Wives are so helpful that way!

nessa - Its difficult to say...wait, I'm done with one...

Michelle Ann said...

Love the Mattress Store not holding a sale...classic!

freebornman said...

Launched years back the same concept.
"Everything men know about women"

VE said...

michelle - And so true!

freebornman - I suspected as much. Its hard to be completely original anymore.

yellojkt said...

The possibilities are endless:

The Wit and Wisdom of George Bush
Italian War Heroes
The Very Best of Foma*

Chris Wood said...

So ... lawyers AREN'T fun?

How so?

I think it's great that readers are being encouraged to use their own imaginations. It should bulk out a lot of celebrity memoirs.

Dale said...

I ran across a blog once that had no actual posts but just a note saying 'blogged at...' and the time. Maybe it was his idea? Brilliant.

justacoolcat said...

It was written in invisible ink. At your age there are some things youre not ready to read.

You'll understand when you get older.

VE said...

yellojkt - I LOVE that George Bush one. It's really thick with empty pages too...

chris - You're right...Paris Hilton already has more in her series than Harry Potter!

dale - If a blog has no posts and nobody goes to read it...is it actually there?

justacoolcat - What if I'm Benajmin Button and I'm getting younger?

Jacki said...

I actually just read in one of the current Business Week magazines that one thing we all have to look forward to in retirement is....working! Yay!

VE said...

jacki - Yeah...people are stupid!

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