Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Time for a Christmas Audit

Ok, with this so called honest straight-shooter Wall Street guy, Bernard Madoff now found guilty of a 50 billion “Ponzie scheme” scam (refer to my parody song for more fun on this too), it’s time to take a serious look at everything we trust and give it an audit.

I really didn’t even know what a Ponzie scheme was. Was this some sort of Happy Days analogy with Pottsy and Fonzie? I had to look it up. It’s apparently like a pyramid scheme where you pay the original investors from the new investors. You know… Amway…networking…that kind of stuff.

So I did an audit of one of my most favorite Christmas specials: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Look what I found…

I had my suspicions about Whoville all along. It looked kind of small.


Twelve homes? It doesn’t add up. Check it out:

That’s right. Home inconsistency is a real problem for the post office you know. It makes it hard to give directions to parties too if houses keep appearing and disappearing. And don't even get me started about the lack of food stores and Starbucks and such. How could they have messed this up all these years? What else was wrong?


Ok, if there are only 33 Whovillers (my term…you can’t use it) then what’s up with all the kids playing with with all the toys? I mean…there would have to be 24 total just to fit the smaller town size of 12 homes and so if there are only 11 more kids and Cindy Lu Who’s house has like 6 of them this really isn’t adding up for me. Is there a Rent-a-Who just out of town?


I could go on and on…but it’s just too damn depressing. The next thing you know the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree he picked will somehow increase in size and needle count…

35 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

Oh VE! The Grinch happens to be my favorite Christmas cartoon.

And can I use "whoviller" in this reply without causing VE ire?

Great moniker! I love it. So does that make the Grinch a Whovillian?

Mwa-wa-wa!

BTW, you inspired my post today. hee hee

Baby Alive, a baby so real!

The Incredible Woody said...

It's a conspiracy right up there with the assassination of JFK and the supposed landing of men on the moon!

Anne said...

I can't get past the inconsistency in housing unit counts. As an employee of a governmental decenial demographic data collection agency, I can see we'll have problems getting accurate data from Whoville. Oh dear. I'm not sure if we'll be able send in enumerators for this. This affects congressional seats and so many other things. This can't be.

Jacki said...

Actually, in Charlie Brown Christmas Lucy's "The doctor is in" sign changes, too.

I guess that's why it's great to be a child...ignorance is bliss. Emma got so excited the other night because Santa left a small gift of personalized pencils on our doorstep for her and I "found" it for her. She was all like "Did you see Rudolph and Santa? Was he driving his sled?"

VE said...

quirkyloon - Ok, I'll let you use whoviller...but only because you came up with whovillian...and I like that. I'll go check out your post

incredible woody - It sure is! But I don't mind the whole landing on the moon thing. It brought us Tang. And who can live without Tang, you know! Why I just had a delicious glass last night...

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...Whoviller...Whoviller...Whoviller...

VE said...

anne - Yes, don't even tell the government. They'd probably demand a McCain/Obama recount.

jacki - Ha! Good call out. It's always fun for psychiatrists to do little changes to keep their insane patients. That's too cute that Emma thinks she has a personal Santa delivery service...

VE said...

phrankie - Damn it. That's 75 cents you owe me now! I'm telling your mom...

ReformingGeek said...

Uh, VE, it is way to early for you to be up and blogging. Please go back to bed. When you wake up at a more reasonable hour or take your meds, maybe you really won't care about Whoville....

;-)

I'm glad to know you are the detail-oriented type.

VE said...

reforminggeek - I am up worrying about these important details so you don't have to be! ha ha

Memarie Lane said...

What? No mention of the Roast Beast and how that one tiny piece of meat is supposed to feed all those people?

*Just Jen* said...

Ya know, I wondered about the number of people versus houses in Whoville, but never actually counted! Thanks for doing the dirty work! LOL

Roy Scribner said...

Since when is an enlarged heart a good thing?

And what happened then? Well, in Whoville Medical they say that the Grinch went on ACE inhibitors and beta blockers that day!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

That's a lot of Whovillers (sorry, I used it) for one roast beast.

justacoolcat said...

I've been working on an investigation for the IRS for the last two years on these tax evading Who-ers.

Please try your best to keep it under your hat.

Also, I'll need to see what else you're hiding under that hat.

GC (God's Child) said...

happy holidays?

leelee said...

Well if Chaz Brown's, tree get more lush...perhaps he will not be ridiculed and mocked by those bully Browners (my word you can't use it). "Can"t you tell the difference between a good tree and a poor tree?????"

HUGS!

VE said...

marie - What? Do you really think I would ignore that? I actually commented on that last year in thispost and just didn't want to repeat myself again this year. (I hate reruns)

just jen - That's what I'm hear for! Doing the stuff nobody else would think of doing

roy - Ha! Good one. I thought that heart looked a tad too big...it was actually exceeding his body in one screen shot. That's not good...

prefers - You owe me a quarter now. Yes...refer to my comment to Marie...I would never overlook the roast beast

justacoolcat - There's nothing under my hat. That's the problem...

gc - Oh there you go...bringing Christmas cheer and all! ha ha

leelee - I like your word...and I won't use it without your permission!

Anna Lefler said...

Dude - you rocked my world! That's why I never look closely at anything...

[tee hee]

Great post!

:^) Anna

Kurt said...

Dude - the people in Whoville are called the Whos.

Kanrei said...

This was a classic! Original and perfectly executed! Well done!

Megan said...

I am totally confused. But that's normal.

VE said...

anna - I'm glad I could provide this service!

kurt - WHO are you...their PR agent?

kan - I love it when you talk like that. Thanks

megan - You just looked at the pictures again...didn't you?

Marvel Goose said...

Since Whoville is, point of fact, located in an alternative universe last seen on a spec of dust that is balanced precariously on the top of a dandelion being held by an extremely accident-prone Elephant, we can safely assume that the laws of physics, poetic licenses, and leash laws have been suspended.

Viewing the Who universe through a lensing item like a book would cause several temporal distortions.

You should have a drink and think about sex instead.

VE said...

marvel goose - There it is...the best advice I've had to date...

Serena said...

Well, it's a total mystery to me. I never trusted the Whos to begin with.:)

The Self-Deprechaun said...

That Dr. Suess was trying to pull a fast one on us but not behind the eagle eye of VE! I was going to get all worked up about his stuff but I got lost in his rhymes: “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” He keeps on duping me!

Alex L said...

Whoville is a polygamist village... didn't you know that, Dr Suess invented the key party!

Chris Wood said...

That Grinch stole my faith in human nature.

Matt-Man said...

Thanks for ruining some of the Christmas magic for me, you bastard. Cheers!!

VE said...

serena - Neither did the grinch!

self-Deprechan - He is the master of Dupe and rhyming!

alex - Interesting...it's all becomming clearer...

chris - I'm just impressed you had the faith to be stolen!

matt-man - Ha! Let me started about Santa and the Tooth Fairy and...

Maureen said...

I'm still concerned about Max.... I mean where was the Whoville SPCA when he needed them??? THAT's what I want to know.

VE said...

maureen - Don't worry about Max...he's really an undercover agent sent to keep tabs on the Grinch.

nike dunk said...

where you come from!

常州麻将棋牌游戏中心 said...

Not long ago, I have thought about something like that, but I did not realize you are so deep, it seems that I need to continuously strengthen the learning!