Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Twas the Night before Posting

Merry Christmas everyone!

I won't be blogging on Christmas proper and so I'll leave you with a quick Deck the Halls parody and then with VE's version of Twas the Night before Christmas. Its an annual tradition...

Deck the halls with poison ivy
Fa la la la la la la la la
This’ll make the relatives lively
Fa la la la la la la la la
Buy them all some gay apparel
Fa la la la la la la la la
Now Uncle Bob is dressed like Aunt Carol
Fa la la la la la la la la



Twas the night before posting and all through the blog
Not an idea was stirring; VE’s head in a fog

Yahoo news; it was searched and perused with great care
In hopes that big idea would soon be there

His readers were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of extreme nonsensical posts danced in their heads

And the wife in her (can’t tell you), and I in my (nor this),
Had just settled down (but to tell you what for would be remiss)

When out from my screen saver there came incoming mail
And the urge to spring to the keyboard, I could not curtail

Away to Outlook Express, I clicked with my mouse
All the while my relationship status slipped toward the doghouse

The hourglass rotated while I waited patiently for it to finish
Curiosity was mounting and the anticipation would not diminish

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a hyperlink in an email shaped like a tiny reindeer

With a click I was whisked away to a site so profound
I knew in an instant St. Blog’s homepage I had found

More rapid than cable access his post ideas did reveal
His gif logo whistled and shouted, “They’re all here to steal”

The upside of global warming, Soundtracks doomed to fail
All the post ideas were there and filled out in great detail

I greedily copied using the control and C key
Was about to paste to my desktop when what did I see

But a video link that said please click on play
It seemed that St. Blog had more things to say

He told me that the audience be it many or few
Were only a part of why we do what we do

The other part was simply that it should feel good for us
To create something from nothing while avoiding a fuss

Then he told me a joke and finished his post while he did
I laughed and I watched him like a mesmerized kid

His hands were a flyin’; 140 words to a minute
He’d laugh and he’d twirl, he was really getting in it

The prose was amazing, terse and so true
It made you laugh and then think some things through

I was ashamed to have thought I’d just steal all his stuff
Suddenly only my original material was good enough

Then he hit his publish button; he’d finished his post
And I realized he’d already given me what I needed the most

It was this idea of a parody on an old Christmas poem
So I said my goodbyes so I could compose it alone

And while I was composing away beneath my small desktop light
I heard him exclaim as the video faded from sight

"Merry Christmas to all the bloggers, and to all a good-night"

28 comments:

Alan Smithee said...

You scamp!

*Just Jen* said...

I love it!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

This sure beat that Haiku trend of other bloggers--you rock! Happy Holidays!

Kurt said...

I doubt your Christmas is proper.

Beth said...

And a very Merry Christmas to you!

leelee said...

Merry Christmas VE to you and yours...have a safe, Happy and fantastical holiday

HUGS!!

VE said...

alan smithee - I don't know that I've ever scamped. I do camp in the summer though...Merry Christmas

just jen - Well perfect then. My job is done. Merry Christmas

prefers her fantasy life - You know I go by my own beat! Merry Christmas

kurt - Very insightful. Actually my Christmas is a prop... Merry Christmas

beth - Have fun with the family home. Merry Christmas

leelee - I love it when you say fantastical! Merry Christmas

Giggle Pixie said...

VE, you're the greatest!

Happiest of holidays to you and yours!

VE said...

giggle pixie - And the same to your family. Merry Christmas

Jacki said...

Hahha...that is hilarious! I cannot top that.

Merry Christmas to you and your family, too!

VE said...

jacki - And you don't need to top it. Just enjoy... Merry Christmas

Roy Scribner said...

Merry Christmas, VE! My folks are flying out of PDX on Sunday - ugh.

Uncivil said...

Merry Christmas and a proposterous.......I mean prosperous New Year to you and your family VE!

Hark the hairy angels swing their rump a pum pums!

EmmaK said...

great song. I just read about a funny song (to the tune of 'On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me' the workers at a Job Center made up in Merseyside, UK and got in trouble about (they wrote about the jobless they were serving. NB a scally is in american lingo: white trash)


1 a scally in a hoodie
2 missed EVs (EV is evidence for claiming )
3 crisis loans
4 fresh starts
5 direct payments
6 DMAs (Decision maker action)
7 recovering alcoholics
8 P45s
9 screaming babies
10 fleas a leaping
11 spotty youths
12 hunting rifles

Micky-T said...

Merry Christmas!

VE said...

roy - Sunday should be ok. It's supposed to melt quickly starting Friday.

uncivil - Yes...the hairy angels will be swinging this new years! ha!

emmaK - HA! Classic. All the necessities of the holiday spirit right there in one song. I gave all the little kiddies hunting rifles this year too...automatics so they could shoot easier too.

VE said...

micky-t - To you too! And a Hoppy New Year!

Megan said...

Your blog makes my work day a better place to be, even if only for a few minutes.

Merry Christmas, bestest VE!

VE said...

megan - Ah Megan, fear not, I have more of the funny coming your way. Catch you on the other side. Merry Christmas.

Serena said...

Love your rewrite. LOL. Merry Christmas, VE.

ReformingGeek said...

Great poem. Merry Christmas!

colbymarshall said...

Great minds...

Merry Christmas!

Maryland McKennas said...

Great poem. I can't wait for the Rankin-Bass animated special.

Merry Christmas.

Bee said...

In my world, aunt Bob is always dressed like aunt Carol!

Merry Christmas, VE!

VE said...

serena - It's a Christmas tradition... Merry Christmas

reforminggeek - Thanks. Merry Christmas

colby - It's true...what would the world do without us! ha ha. Merry Christmas.

Maryland - Thanks. It's true...everything is better with animation. Hang overs. Divorce. Job loss. They are all easier with animation. Merry Christmas

bee - Ha! I'll bet Aunt Carol is getting pretty darn tired of Uncle Bob stealing all her good outfits! Merry Christmas

Jeff said...

Wow... 2 parodies in one week (including your excellent sidebar piece). I couldn't force that much mental horsepower if I had a month.

Dee said...

to think I can come here and read for free!~ Surely your talents can't be free much longer!

Love the parody!

VE said...

jeff - Parodies are always my easy out. They just seem to come easily...

dee - Don't worry...I'm far too lazy to really be paid for anything! Just enjoy...