Monday, December 29, 2008

Where is My Cell Phone?

All I want to know…

Where in hell were all of you damn geocache finders when I lost my cell phone last weekend?

Yeah, that’s right. I figured out that the true originations of geocaching really come from the vain attempt at using another phone and calling your own cell phone in the hopes that by walking around you’ll hear it ring from the place you’ve obviously left it in but cannot remember….because, well, you can’t remember ANYTHING!

I tried that and it did ring for awhile. About two days. Then it just went straight to voice mail. That’s techno that means “the damn phone is either dead or the battery has run down and now you’ll never find it”.

Of course I was convinced that it was wedged in the booth at the restaurant we had eaten at the night before. Well, at least I had convinced the people that were sitting there eating their dinner the following night of that reality. They were nice and accommodated my request for them to vacate the booth so my gnomes could conduct a proper evidence search. Nothing!

Yeah, I called the damn phone company convinced that some ruthless organization had stolen the phone and were making international phone calls selling government secrets to terrorists with it and I would get framed for all of it and spend my years in a secret cell in Guantanimo Bay enjoying the refreshing benefits of water torture. No calls were made!

Of course I found the phone two days later. It must have fallen out while I was throwing chemicals into the hot tub so it wouldn’t turn into a hot swamp that smelled like mildew. Yeah…it was lying in grass completely soaked from the rain.

No, it didn’t work! It’s an older razor phone. I was lucky it was working in the first place! But I did remember a tip I’d once gotten that if I took the battery out and the SIM card and then baked it in the oven on low heat, it might dry it out.

So I did. And then proceeded to put back the battery and SIM card and plugged it in and….unbelievably….IT WORKED! It was like a MacGuiver trick or something. Who would have thunk?

It did taste a little like chicken by-the-way…I might have over cooked it…

41 comments:

Anne said...

mmmm, baked circuits a la mode...

Gnomeself Be True said...

If my cell phone is lost or stolen, I can find it via gps...or shut it down and erase all data remotely. Because, you know, I've got all sorts of super secret data on my phone and that sort of security is essential.
I know this doesn't help you. I just wanted to brag on how cool my phone is and what a geek I am.

The Incredible Woody said...

I've always wondered what my cell phone might taste like. You know, just in case......

Sornie said...

Pour some gravy on it and, bam, you have the best meal ever. Just watch out for circuit boards, they never cook all the way through.

Bee said...

My brother in law works for at&t. His daughter had soaked my mom's nice new phone and he told us to remove the batter and sim card put it all in a bowl of rice. Uncooked rice. It worked too.

GC (God's Child) said...

I read where you can also wash your keyboard in the dishwasher
in fact there might have been an NPR bit too

Beth said...

That's the kind of baking/cooking that appeals to me.
Thanks for passing along the tip.

cathouse teri said...

I know someone who put his iPhone into the washer. Went through the entire cycle before he realized his mistake. (This iPhone already had a cracked screen, which happened while he was running to answer the door, where the UPS guy was delivering the protective case he ordered for the phone.) Anyway, he took the wet phone and put it in the oven overnight on low. It still worked!

He is quick to point out though, that it went through the wash cycle on GENTLE.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. You should have called Diesel--he can fix anything, you know.

Roy Scribner said...

I'd toss it, VE. You found it in the hot tub and, let's face it, who knows what it was doing in there for those two days.

Quickroute said...

I know someone who was on route to the doctor with a urine sample and it spilt in her handbag - phone never worked after that!

Marvel Goose said...

Can't you dry it out faster by putting it in the microwave?

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Why am I posting in here? It won't count for anything on the blogroll!

The Self-Deprechaun said...

That cellphone looks like might good eats to me. You basted it with nature's marinade (rain water) and popped it in the oven and tada! Recessionary times!

ReformingGeek said...

And that oven is way too clean. Cleaning mine is on the list.....for 2010.

Anyway, reversing the logic, if your phone is too wet and something (like brown sugar) is too dry, just stick it in the bag and you'll have usable brown sugar in no time. Don't know about the phone though.

Carla said...

That's hilarious! Will have to remember that one. I've never baked mine, but have phoned it and walked around the house hoping to find it.

lime said...

i hear razors go well with bernaise sauce.

oh, and how high up the list do we have to have climbed to be in on the announcement?

Megan said...

You learn something new every day. Unusual that it was learned here, though.

Jeff said...

You didn't happen to find my old camera there too did you? If only I hadn't taken so many dirty pictures before I lost it. D'oh!

Jacki said...

Did you add any herbs or spices?

Maureen said...

You know, from watching the Food Network WAY TOO MUCH lately, I have come to the conclusion that everything is baked in Olive Oil nowadays.

Did you drizzle some on before popping into the oven? If not, you really need to get with the times there, VE.

VE said...

anne - Yeah, probably tastes better with some ice cream on the top. Most things do.

gnomeself - Can you make it give a ear piercing screach? That might be fun to leave it in certain places...

incredible woody - Everything tastes like chicken you know.

sornie - What doesn't work with gravy? Well...maybe cereal...

bee - Now that is odd. It's kind of expensive to go to China though...

gc - I don't know if my dishwasher has an Electronics setting or not.

beth - I don't think you'll find the recipe in Betty Crocker...

teri - How ironic that it cracked going to get the protection! Classic...

prefers her fantasy life - Well, except the dilema of a fair and simple ordering list for humor blogs that is! ;)

roy - Ha! Are you saying my cell phone has been partying with unsavory types in MY hot tub without my knowledge? Now why didn't I get an invite?

quickroute - Bet that pissed her off! ;)

marvel goose - Just hold on, a few more days!

self deprechaun - Basting in rain water is the key to a good tasting cell phone!

reforminggeek - You actually have to use an oven to get it dirty and there aren't a lot of dripping from a cell phone...

carla - See, you're a geo cacher too!

lime - You have to have more than 10 tallies. The more you have, the more you'll like it. But...those who don't visit in time are S.O.L...even if they were at the top of the list.

megan - Oh sure...as if all of VE's posts are juvinile and such. Well...actually they are. Oh well.

jeff - Yeah, I made a lot of good money out at porn-r-us with your photos. They've even given you a porn name. I can't speak of it here though...this being a family blog and all...

jacki - The very same ones the Colonel Sanders used! But without all that fat grease laden chicken to go with it...

maureen - No, but I called a girl named Olive with it...does that count?

Chris Eldin said...

Just popped over to say hi and Happy Festivus!
I haven't updated my blog, so don't waste the click...

Love the new look around here!
:-)

Sarah said...

I am very glad your phone came back to life in the oven. I thought that whole bake your phone thing was complete BS, thanks for testing it out! :)

Serena said...

Boy, you learn something here every day. I never would have thought of baking my phone. Of course, I'm so bad at baking that it would probably mutate into something else if I tried it. I'm glad it worked for you, though. So, are you going to get a new phone any time soon?:)

Giggle Pixie said...

That phone deserves a medal - it survived the hot tub AND the microwave?

Wow. My phone is a total diva, all wrapped up in her leather clutch holder and treated to her own special pocket in my purse.

AngieSS said...

Hehehe We had to do that "call yourself" trick the other day too. Luckily, hubs cell phone was lost in his truck. The whole "bake in oven" trick is good to know. Ummm, what heat should I bake it on to ensure that it tastes like chicken? ;)

VE said...

chris - Thanks and happy holidays to you

serena - No, the phone is working perfect now. Guess I can bake!

giggle pixie - Well everyone needs to feel special in some way...even your cell phone!

angieSS - I put mine on 175 and then turned it off as I put the phone in. That way it wouldn't melt the plastic pieces but allowed it to dry out with some heat still. 175 was the lowest temperature my oven has. Oh...and you should tell the hubs to stop making those secret phone calls from the trunk...

Kanrei said...

Popping into work for the day and I wanted to say "Happy New Year VE!!!" Thank you for making me laugh over this very painful 2008 and I am looking forward to trying to return the favor in 2009.

VE said...

kan - I ran into your very first comment when I was building my 'best of' section. You're one of my longest readers here. It's been a pleasure for me too. Hopefully 2009 will ROCK!

leelee said...

That is an amazing story...no really I am truly amazed.

HUGS!

Knight said...

Holy crap it worked? How long do you bake? I wouldn't want to overcook it as it might be too crispy.

gab said...

really? that worked? I too have an older razor and dang I have the worst time with it. Ive drowned it in the tolit(dont put your phone in your pocket when your gonna go)I took out battery and then just set it aside and it does work, not with out a lot of static but it works.

gab said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anette said...

I've washed one(my daughters) once. forty degrees, fabric softener and all. after drying, the telephone worked so so, but the sim card is still alive!
Another one (my sons) stayed one week in a salt water channel before we dived down to fetch it. phone was dead, but sim card ok!

VE said...

leelee - Yep...stupid is as stupid does! ha ha

knight - The trick is to put the right herbs and spices and set to 175 but then turn the oven off and just let it in there for about 10 to 15 minutes. Yum!

gab - The razors are fickle at best. I went through 3 before I got one that didn't fail. Now that I have it, I don't want to replace it though.

anette - Nothing like getting the sim card back. I hate rekeying...

C said...

WOW! I've heard of people doing that, but didn't think it actually worked!

I think you should write a book and call it "VE's What To Do In Case Of..." whatever and write down all your MacGuiver tricks down in there. ;)

handmade jewelry said...

cool blog

VE said...

c - That book would be weird, huh? You never know what VE is gonna suggest...

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Janna said...

Fascinating!
I'm really surprised that the phone worked after this.
In the picture, the oven door is open. Did you "bake" it with the oven door open, to keep the heat low?
Or did you shut the door but turn the temperature knob waaaaaayy down?
Just curious.
In case I ever do the same thing. :)

VE said...

janna - I baked it on 175 but turned the oven off when it got up to that temperature. I left it in there 10 minutes. I did this to keep the plastic parts from melting but still allow enough heat to dry out the components.