Coyotes Adapt

The trouble with most of the endangered animals? They’re behind the times. They’re so stubborn. They refuse to adapt.

Coyotes adapt. You don’t see coyotes on the endangered species list. They’ll never be there. Because they adapt. They’re still adapting.

While tigers are still stalking wild gazelles in the last 20 mile block of unfarmed land in Asia the coyotes have converted suburban parks to a pet buffet…

While elephants travel miles through the desert looking for bamboo shoots across lands too harsh for greedy farmers to take advantage of, the coyotes are dressing up as little people and ordering lattes in Starbucks.

While sloths are relegated to remote jungle islands and refuse to move, coyotes and getting into Petco late at night and holding wild parties.

Animals are going to have to adapt to survive. Hippos can easily blend into the suburbs with the careful application of a wig and bikini from Lane Bryant. Utilizing park lakes and oversized public pools, they’ll be able to survive free throughout their lives.

Rare talking parrots can make a great income in the customer service sector…

Monkeys have proven for years they are capable of leaving the trees and starring in films. Researchers feel they would be equally adept in politics.