Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lie to Me

I don’t know what the hell happened but somehow I ended up watching the first episode of “Lie to Me” on TV and then last night I saw the second episode. Yeah, fucking TV! Yeah…I swore, deal with it. It’s my way of waking you up…

Anywho, it is an interesting concept. These specialists have the ability to tell if people are lying or telling the truth based on facial and body movements. And they do it instantaneously.

I swear the main guy watches to see if their nose hair protrudes out slightly upon answering a question and then he’ll go into a lesson on how that means that the nostrils are flaring outward slightly. Which is due to his inner desire to pick his nose. Which means that his nose is full of boogers because he’s obviously guilty of something! It all makes sense. Well not…

But in reality, a lot of them do. I could see this show is going to be bad for the public though. Too many amateurs making false conclusions. Don’t believe me? Let’s try it out:

Nicole Kidman is:
a. Nervous and can’t wait to leave the spotlight
b. Needs to take a big dump…and soon
c. Unable to move her face with all the plastic surgery
d. Spies a well hung man in a kilt in the back

See…not so easy, is it? Let’s try some more…


Barack Obama is:
a. Doing his left eyebrow exercises
b. Trying to warn of alien invasion overhead
c. Deep in thought
d. Propping his head up while he sleeps with his eyes open

Ok, let’s try just one more…

Mel Gibson is:
a. Doing his best Suddam Husain imitation
b. Watching a Jewish orgy
c. Auditioning for ZZ Top
d. Concerned about his public image

Like I said…very difficult to interpret unless you are gifted and have had the training.

45 comments:

lime said...

i saw the first episode too. i can't imagine how they are going to string out this premise for an entire season.

as for mel, i think he's demonstrating an unusual reflex...pull the beard the eyes bug, rlease the beard the eyes relax.

Roy Scribner said...

I'm pretty sure somebody snapped that pic of Mell Gibson just as he spotted a really sweet unattended shopping cart on Burnside.

Dee said...

YOU SWORE! :)

VE said...

lime - Try that trick with Santa next season...it's fun...he LOVES it!

roy - Now I know for sure you were local here because everyone knows your eyes would bulge out upon seeing an unattended shopping cart on Burnside! Like that would happen. We're talking homeless ground zero for Portland!

dee - No fucking way! You can't prove a thing!

The Incredible Woody said...

What? People lie? Really?

Starrlight said...

See I think Mel is on the verge of calling someone "Sugar Tits."

It's an interesting show. But I see Tim Roth and I see Mr. Orange.

VE said...

incredible woody - Well... according to the show they make a lot of weird facial movements...

starrlight - Yes, who can forget Reservoir Dogs. He was also in Pulp Fiction and the Incredible Hulk (newest)...

Quirkyloon said...

And...I think YOU lie to us all the time VE. Yep, I can tell the way your blog quivers. It's so slight, but I can see it (and I'm sure others do too)!

Jeff said...

Ooh... do I get to be the first to point out that Obama is really exercising his right eye? Cause I'm so mature that way.

padraig said...

This quiz is too easy.

The answers are (b), (d), (c).

VE said...

quirkyloon - Ha! My blog quivers because it is scared! I don't blame it...

jeff - Dang...I can get nothing sneaky past you! I thought for sure I'd slide that by. Now I can't say "ha ha" at the start of tomorrow's post. You get the Sherlock Holmes award of the day. I'm sure there is one out there somewhere...

padraig - I can see you are a natural at this!

Gladys said...

I took a class on this several years ago. The instructor said everyone has a tale. Well I have tried to find people's tails and I usually get slapped.

VE said...

gladys - Ha! I thought it was a tell. But that can't be right either because I keep telling on people and it always backfires...

ReformingGeek said...

I can't believe any of the reality TV shows make it past one show but, sadly, they do.

Nicole's had plastic surgery? Say it ain't so.

Giggle Pixie said...

Mel Gibson? Definitely (d).

VE said...

reforminggeek - I agree...but this one isn't a reality show...it's an actual series with scripts and actors and such. Who'd have thunk it?

giggle pixie - For nearly all celebrities that is the case. Well, except Amy Winehouse and a couple others...

Jacki said...

I can always tell when Emma is lying....she will look at me with her big blue eyes and give me this shit-eating grin. If that doesn't work she will try to distract me by changing the subject.

And I can always tell when she spills a drink in the living room, because she will run into the kitchen, grab a towel, and run back to the living room saying "sorry, sorry, sorry" the whole time. Like she did just now.

Queen Goob said...

SHIT....I was going to blog about this exact subject BUT something funny happened this morning so I was saving it for tomorrow.

she definitely spotted a guy in a kilt

leelee said...

I saw the first installment and am with Lime, I don't see how they can do a season's worth..but then again they have strung out a day or so for years with 24..right?

Gee, Mel Gibson really looks like Saddam doesn't he...
{{{{{{{shiver}}}}}}}

HUGS!

Jaime said...

the answer is "E", none of the above. these are all the newest wax sculputures at madame trusseau's. she's trying something new - making celebrities look as imperfect as possible.

Thinkinfyou said...

I meant to watch that show!!

VE said...

jacki - Remember, she's still got years of training on how to lie effectively. She's still in the innocent trial and error years...

queen goob - Sure you did, sure you did! Put it out there anyway, I wanna see your spin on it!

leelee - They have all these nifty ties into real celebrities and their expressions that support why they came to the conclusions they did. I'll bet there are script writers out there right now pouring over celebrities and politicians that have been in trouble and capturing those expressions to build stories for future episodes. I so could have been a writer in Hollywood...

jaime - Good answer! Of course I think you're lying to me because you typed "madame trusseau's" without capitolizing it which is a clear tell-tale indication that you aren't telling the truth. See how this formula works?

thinkinfyou - No...you're lying to me; I'm sure of it. Two exclamation points is a sure sign that you're trying to put importance on your earnestness to watch it but clearly had no intention to because there was something else important to do (like reading my blog of course)

The Self-Deprechaun said...

If you pull Mel's beard, he will spew something anti-Semitic.

VE said...

self-deprechaun - Ha! Boy does that open the door for somebody talented to create one of those interactive web sites to do this...

Serena said...

I'm kind of glad I didn't see this show. Sounds like a lot of work to me. I did the work, though, and my answers are b, d, and b. For true.

Janna said...

I thought Nicole DID take a big dump when she finally got rid of Tom Cruise.

Deb said...

Can you send me that original Nicole Kidman photo? I can't see the well hung kilted man.

Thank you!

yellojkt said...

Answers are (c), (d), and (d). Although the Nicole Kidman one could be (e) all of the above.

gab said...

I fail!
I started to watch the show but somehow got distracted. So now I dont know if I should watch just to see or forget it cause Ive already missed so much?

Elizabeth said...

Sometimes I'm really really glad I don't get any TV channels, this sounds like a show I could get totally sucked into.

VE said...

serena - Fear of the show clearly reveals you are lying! ;)

VE said...

janna - Ha! You got that right!

deb - You couldn't resist, could you?

yellojkt - Nicole COULD do all of them...even for the others

gab - Nah! It's not like lost or 24 or something. It wouldn't matter when you showed up for this one.

elizabeth - Exactly...which is why I try and avoid TV for the most part.

Gnomeself Be True said...

BO is trying out for the part as the black Vulcan on the Star Trek Voyager remake.

Carla said...

Is this kind of like mind reading? Really, just stabbing in the dark.

Kurt said...

I never get tired of that Mel photo.

VE said...

gnomeself be true - May he live long and we prosper...

carla - You don't mind read? Sometime I mind it...especially when the font is really small and the lighting is dim

kurt - It's a blog staple.

Uncivil said...

Barrack looks like he might be sitting on the toilet giving birth to a liberal!

Laura said...

The lie is in Nicole Kidman's face, someone is trying to make us ordinary folk believe that the beautiful look on occasion ordinary, and well, weird. No, it can't be true. That's a lie.

VE said...

uncivil - It's a difficult birthing process you know...

laura - They're all alien double agents you realize...

Maureen said...

For some reason which I can't quite pinpoint, Kidman just rubs me the wrong way. Perhaps it's those shifty lying eyes....

VE said...

maureen - Me too. Well...she's never actually rubbed me...but you know what I mean.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I love that photo of Mel Gibson. He's so weird. And weirdly resembles Saddam Hussein. Maybe there's another movie in the works. Or maybe he's going to do a remake of Grizzly Adams.

VE said...

arizona - I think you pegged it. He's working on a major movie of Grizzly Adams. Wonder who will play the bear?

angie said...

You definitely have the gift. Who needs training when you have that?

VE said...

angie - Of course you don't need this kind of training with kids...they're so obvious!