Tuesday, January 06, 2009

VE’s Cutting Edge Fashion Trends for 2009

That’s right, it’s a new year and it calls for new cutting edge fashion. Let’s start this post with the accessories. I know change is hard for you all so I’ll go slow.

All right, jewelry! First off, you’re gonna need some trendy ear rings. What says earrings more than…well…ears!

Ok, you might be a vegetarian and find offense to these cutting fashions. Let’s swing over to the male fashions.

You’re gonna need to be very macho tough this year. Nothing says that like the new strong necklaces. Forget gold…this year it’s the VE ‘Big Lebowski’ necklace:


That’s right…guaranteed to build a neck like those guys that don’t look like they have a neck! And for more fashionable nights:

Nothing says you’re cool and macho like 85 pounds of dead weight around your neck!

Not trendy enough?

You could go for our fashionable hoola hoop belt…



And finally, if you’re really out there, we offer you this beautiful necklace.

In the women's purse line we have a terrific "third arm" purse. Wear it around your shoulder and people will swear you have a third arm on one side. You'll be the life of the party!
Yes, these cutting edge fashions will help YOU to be somebody you're not in 2009!

62 comments:

Jacki said...

Errr...no thanks. I'll pass on the earrings.

Anne said...

I'll pass, thanks.

Beth said...

Way too early in the morning for that first fashion accessory.

Roy Scribner said...

Rainbows and puppies! Rainbows and puppies! Rain...

The toilet seat looks good on Damon, though.

Jaime said...

Those earrings are just...wrong. What next the severed head handbag?

Queen Goob said...

I have a pair of earrings my best friend made me....one is a baby doll leg and the other is a baby doll arm. I much prefer mutilated baby dolls to freeze-dried ears. But thanks!

Memarie Lane said...

I'd love a third arm if it's functional.

The Incredible Woody said...

My eyes! My eyes! I mean...My ears! My ears!

VE said...

jacki - But they're the only TRUE ear rings!

anne - You sure? They're a great hit at the Zombie convention...

beth - Wear it at the dawn of the dead...

roy - No shit!! ha ha

jaime - Well if you work up a prototype I'll consider it...

queen goob - Baby doll parts are way more creepy! Next you'll be saying you have clown earrings. Yikes.

marie - I suspect with another little you might need that purse.

incredible woody - Yeah, yeah, I HEAR you!

Quirkyloon said...

So this is how we're starting the New Year VE?

I'm sooooo glad!

Where can I get me some of those EARrings? Love love love it!

I knew I could count on you to enlighten an otherwise in the dark Quirkyloon!

Jeff said...

It takes a lot of balls to wear balls around your neck.

Dee said...

better stick to your day job!

Ear earring ? ICKY! but I'm sure there is some nut out there that would buy it

ReformingGeek said...

Um....Blasphemy for poor Matt. Oh please don't mess with my fantasy guy.

;-)

As for the earrings, I dare you to wear those. Who said it's limited to women?

VE said...

quirkyloon - I knew I could count on somebody to not be squemish. There's just so little appreciation for the morbid these days...

jeff - And you know what they say about that: the bigger the balls, the smaller the............brain.

dee - Of course there are. They're called cannibals. It's like putting a power bar in your pocket for emergencies.

reforminggeek - I knew you'd come out blastin' about Matt. Sorry...he was the first celebrity I convinced to wear it. As for the earrings, who said that wasn't my picture wearing them? I might happen to have feminine ears and girl hair you know...

Megan said...

Why add funky necklaces when you've already got a neck tattoo? I'm sorry, but nothing says "Macho Man" like a neck tattoo.

Those earrings are pretty gross.

Gladys said...

I think that the ear- earring is well sort of flash back to Vietnam and might start a whole PTSD flashback thing. There will be a bunch of vets pulling their trunks out from under their beds, digging out the ears they collected and well making a bunch of money. Which of course will spur the economy which in turn will cause the stock market to go back up above 50 trillion. This of course will cause soccer mom's to buy more gas guzzling SUV's. This will save GM, FORD, Chrysler and the insurance industry. Which of course will open up credit and allow more people who can't afford to buy over-inflated houses to get loans.

Hey I think you just solved all of the worlds problem with one piece of jewelry.

Bazza said...

I like the look of the bowling ball necklace, just don't go jogging while you're wearing it.

lime said...

ya know, i've never followed fashion.....sorta glad i have established that precedent after reading this.

VE said...

megan - If I ever get a neck tattoo it's gonna say "Ouch"

gladys - I think Obama should be calling you! ha ha ha

bazza - Good point. Maybe that's how some guys get that sunken chest look...

lime - Fashion is for the weak! It's just another "look at me" ploy...but now that I think about it...so is blogging. Hmmmm....

Anne said...

What gave you the idea I like zombies?

VE said...

anne - Well who wouldn't? Once you get past their anger issues and cannibalism they can be quite fun...

Serena said...

Oh, my God, that EARring is gross. I just hope it was properly cured so it doesn't stink. Ugh! So, where's the picture of the third-arm purse? I might be interested in that.:)

Kurt said...

I've had ear earrings for years. It's just something we do in our family.

girlsinwhitedresses said...

Okay, did you have to show me those ear earrings right while I was making dinner? Ughhhh ... :)

angie said...

I'm with Jacki. I'll pass. :)

Giggle Pixie said...

See, this is exactly why I've never been a slave to fashion. Thank GAWD! :-)

Rainbows and puppies...rainbows and puppies...

VE said...

serena - Budget cutbacks prevented the ability to properly picture the third arm purse...sorry.

kurt - That explains a great deal...

girlsinwhitedresses - Makes you hungry for cartiledge, doesn't it?

angie - Sure, sure, stay with the squemish...

giggle pixie - Gawd...more rainbow and puppy requests! ha ha

~Babs said...

You said credit card,,,,,but do you take cash? Just so I know,,,
cause you never know,,,,ya know?

The Self-Deprechaun said...

I like the toilet bowl seat one b/c you can wear it around your neck and look pretty macho like Jason Bourne and then you can create your own bathroom anywhere you go. Pull your pants down and let her rip through the seat. The seat legitimizes it all!

She said...

Oh my! I work with teenagers, and some of them have some pretty funky accessories, which I thought were over the top until I read this! : )

C said...

OMG! That first photo almost made me gag! Ick! Gah.

yellojkt said...

Does Ben Affleck know that Matt is wearing some other guy's toilet seat?

HeyJoe said...

That "ear" ring is gross, almost as bad as the testical ones I favor.

Elizabeth said...

I actually have little ear earings, not nearly as gross though. I teach Deaf Ed. and someone gave them to me as a gift. Now I just need little hearing aids to put on my little ear earings.

Alex L said...

That actually suits Matt Damon.

Annie Ha said...

that first picture totally grossed me out, man!

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

The ear earring is disgusting. Eww. It might be cool if you could squeeze it and blood comes out though...

I like the third arm purse...I've always thought that when women have babies they should be able to grow a third arm since we always have the baby in one arm...the extra arm would be really handy, let me tell you! Then when the baby turns a year old the third arm should dissolve or fall off something. Although, that could be quite shocking. You are standing in the check out line at the grocery store on your kid's first birthday (buying the cake or something) and suddenly your arm falls off.

Good lord, its late. I better go to bed. I'm talking gibberish.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

hey, why does it say 9:31 on my time stamp? Its 11:30pm here in Chicago! Am I in a time warp?

Matt-Man said...

Haaaaaaaaaaa. I love the ear-earring. I wish I had one. Cheers!!

Carla said...

Okay, those earrings really creeped me out. Yikes!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

The earrings were gross, but funny. And who is that with Matt Damon? Is that Heath Ledger? Or a fat Justin Timberlake?

VE said...

~babs - Cash? Cash? Oh, cash is such a hassle. The counting and all...

self-deprechaun - You got it! And you can add cutesy little decorations with rhinestones and stars and...

she - VE Rule number one: You can never go over the top! VE Rule number two: Never talk about rules with VE...

c - Relax, relax, I've got rainbows and puppies for my post today

yellojkt - Ha! He's gonna be pissed (or pooped...)

heyjoe - See...I knew somebody could take it one step further. Nice...

elizabeth - I was gonna do a less macabre version but what's the fun in that. Interesting you have a pair!

alex - And that's Matt Damon's suit so it all works out...

annie ha - Never underestimate VE for the gross out...

arizona - The arm purse WILL fall off eventually...it's made in China. Oh, and the time stamp is based on Pacific time

matt-man - You have two ears...you can make at least one ear earring. Hey...it worked for Vincent...

carla - Ssssh...they can hear you! ha ha

nanny goats - I thought it was a puffy Timbertree...

Starrlight said...

Love the earrings. Very Lord Of The Flies!

Maureen said...

Ewwwww... now I know why there are puppies and a rainbow on your newer post....

Note to Self: Wait a few days before commenting here to save my eyesight.

Chris Eldin said...

I'm just posting here to get extra credit on your blog roll. In fact, I may copy and paste this into all future posts.
See? You didn't come up with a rules list. Somebody's bound to do it...
heheheheh!
:-)

colbymarshall said...

The ear on the ear thing is um, disgutsing.

gab said...

Ew ew ew dont like the earring ears! as for the rest as long as I dont have to have them...... dang I had the perfect saying but just cant spell it!

VE said...

starrlight - Glad somebody appreciates them. What a bunch of squemish memishes. Sheesh...

maureen - Come on now. We all know that you Northern Canadians have a secret igloo full of frozen ears for late night snacks...

chris - Ha! If you do that, just imagine what I could come up with on your blog! ;)

colby - You mean they aren't a Southern delicacy?

gab - I hate it when a perfect saying slips away...

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I WISH I was on pacific time!

VE said...

arizona - I wish I was on Hawaii time...

leelee said...

omg that ear....*blech*

thank god you posted the puppie and rainbows..

damn I still hear those cowbells!

HUGS!!

VE said...

leelee - There's usually a balance here. It's just not how you'd expect it to balance though...

Bonnie the Boss said...

I was so looking for something in styrofoam shoe wear. Those little to-go containers, you could personalize them for your own taste....... get it taste/ to-go container.
BTW I changed my blog address. This should get you there.

Practically Joe said...

Fashion is not my friend.
I still have a "dickie" in my wardrobe.

VE said...

bonnie - Oh...ok. I'll update next time.

joe - Ha! I'm not telling you where my dickie is...

Uncivil said...

Luv the Toilet seat on Damon

BlondeBlogger said...

Is that a toilet seat or a life ring?

VE said...

uncivil - Yep, talk about the Bourne ultimatum...

blondeblogger - Well, if he uses it much you might say it's a toilet ring...

Janna said...

The earrings are sorta cool, in a bizarre disturbing "just-came-from-a-cannibal-buffet" sort of way.

A REAL fashion-hound would wear the toilet seat as a nose ring and the bowling balls as earrings. The shotputs could work with belly-button piercings.

... sorry, did I say "fashion-hound"? I meant "antisocial freak."

It's easy to get those mixed up.

VE said...

janna - I like your alternatives... bowling ball earrings helps excelerate what gravity is gonna do anyway...

Mrsupole said...

Ewwwwww, to the ear earing. and I love bowling but I put my used balls out in the garden and ohhh the colors are so pretty.

I think this is #4.

God bless.

VE said...

mrsupole - careful...you don't want those bowling balls sprouting up all over the place...oh and...Remember, I am always last...