Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Fast Food Gas

Don't worry...I'm not going where you think I am with the post title...

You’ve seen them around. More and more established businesses are selling gas now. Safeway, Albertsons, Costco. They sell it pretty cheap too.

You can see where this is going. Pretty soon the fast food chains are going to latch on to this idea. And when they do, watch out! They won’t be offering up good quality gasoline for your car. That’s right; it’ll be really fatty greasy gasoline. It’s going to turn your car into this:

Need to put supreme into that fancy sports car? Don’t get the McPremium over at MacDonalds then. You’re zippy Ferarri will end up looking like this.

As with your own health, be sure to get your car out on long drives to maintain a nice sleek body type. And watch those late night oil supplements…

43 comments:

The Incredible Woody said...

Fat cars to match all the fat Americans - Perfect!!

The Fool said...

Now, if my car can get fat, why do I need a mechanic? If only they would just heal on their own when the break. Will we be able to work the fat off them by running them at high speeds? "Sorry officer, my car's getting a bit chunky, and it needs a bit of exercise." If my car was more human it would need a therapist. Thanks for the smile.

VE said...

incredible woody - You knew it was coming...

VE said...

fool - You need a mechanic to suck dry any liquid cash you have left. They'll probably start setting up auto urgent cares though. You can park there and wait 4 hours to have your car looked at...

Gladys said...

My SUV isn't fat it's just big boned. It's whole family is big boned.

Also this is just one more reason to promote fuel made from vegetables and low fat methane. With methane your at least expelling the gas and your not as bloated. ;)

EmmaK said...

Funny! Or how about just
putting fat in your car like this lipo surgeon who converted his patient's fat suction into biodiesel to run his car. Er gross:
http://tinyurl.com/cfqotq

Roy Scribner said...

Don't be a hater, VE! Even "big" cars need love.

ReformingGeek said...

They look like something that came out of the liposuction hose.

So very sad.

BTW, I did mention "gas" in my recent post. I even said "ass". What's the world coming to?

Giggle Pixie said...

Don't forget oversized strollers for all the obese babies!

Quirkyloon said...

You know I kinda wish you had gone where I thought you were gonna go with this post.

Between these fat cat cars and the hand soap....*shuddering*

Thanks for the shudders VE!!! (Ok a little grin is peeking out of me face!)

LOL

VE said...

gladys - Ha! There's nothing wrong with big bones!

emmak - Now that is pretty gross. You don't know where that fat has been! Wait...I guess that surgeon does though...

roy - Ha! Yes...I need to get off the hate vibe, huh? Can I still hate the fast food chains though?

reforminggeek - I'm so disappointed in you...gas and ass in the same post. I'll be right over to enjoy that one...

giggle pixie - It's not their fault, they were born that way!

quirkyloon - As long as the shudders are open...so I can peek...

Megan said...

No one should be allowed to do that to a Ferrari.

VE said...

megan - Please refer to it as a Fattari now...

MJ said...

Y'know, I'm really afraid my car might be bulimic. It's tired all the time, and it has kind of a raspy sound to it...

leelee said...

wow...dat's alottta fiberglass!

I dig the "hand soaps" lol

HUGS!!

leelee said...

Yo....those whips are phat!

HUGS!

nursemyra said...

that nasty flesh coloured car has very beady eyes.....

Beth said...

Blogger rejected my comment! And it wasn't even rude or obscene!
(Something about Kentucky Fried Chicken...)

Kurt said...

I like the puffy cars.

Chris Wood said...

Well, my car's been on a diet, so I'm not worried. I'll have to cover its headlights when I go past a McDonald's now ...

VE said...

mj - Probably too much alcohol in the fuel. It's just hung over!

leelee - I should have known you'd like those hand soaps!

nursemyra - Nothing like adding flesh color to make the point...

beth - I hate when blogger does that. It's hard enough to think them up and write them once! I tend to copy them before I submit now...just in case.

kurt - Well, not something you see everyday...

chris - That's very caring of you!

Janna said...

I wish there was a view of the rear bumper so we could see if there's a giant butt crack.

VE said...

janna - Ha! You are a glutten for punishment!

Nessa said...

As I scrolled down to read this post, your picture of the day hit my peripheral vision and scared the shit out of me. I am going to have baby hand nightmares. Brrrr!

Jaime said...

nice. i always wanted a car that looks exactly like the state puff marshmallow man!

Elizabeth said...

Then they'll need a Jenny Craig for cars.
:)

Serena said...

With an overweight population, I guess pudgy cars can't be far behind.:)

VE said...

nessa - Better than the zippered tongue one I had once though...

jaime - Just don't smoke in the car...

elizabeth - And an Atkins too!

serena - Makes you wonder what's next...pudgy shiska-bob sticks?

yellojkt said...

When those air bags deploy, they really go off.

VE said...

yellojkt - Ha! Nice observation...

The Self-Deprechaun said...

I hope they don't try to put on bathing suits. Jeez, the body really goes with age. Something about these pictures makes me want to rest my head in the bosom of the car.

VE said...

self-deprechaun - Be sure you get enough oxygen if you try that...

Alex L said...

Less accidents though, and less on gas since your car can't be bothered going up the steeper hills.

padraig said...

Those are really unusually disturbing.

VE said...

alex - Of course with a heavier car it'll use more gas pulling itself around

padraig - Glad you thought so! I always aim for disturbing...

Starrlight said...

I still don't get the movies at McDonald's routine although I suppose it puts asses in the seats somehow.

lime said...

that is just utterly bizarre. is that what a car looks like that runs on the converted fast food oil?

unfinishedrambler said...

It would seem like they'd bounce right off other cars, wouldn't they?

VE said...

starrlight - Good callout. I have no flippin' clue as to why they do movies. How'd that get approved at the executive level? I'd love to have heard that discussion...

lime - It probably should be. I think it's actually a photoshop deal though

unfinishedrambler - Sort of a safe bumper car game?

Uncivil said...

Fat cars?...built for comfort instead of speed?

VE said...

uncivil - You got it!!!

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

Maybe Naomi Judd can be the spokesperson and both she and the car can go on Alli.... I heard Alli is supposed to give you greasy gas....

VE said...

arizona - Sounds like a whole business launch figured out right there!!!