Sunday, February 01, 2009

Humanitarian Fashion

I know...let's publish Monday's post on Sunday...just to confuse you.

Sorry I haven’t been around frequently to your blogs. You see, VE has been very busy giving his time to humanitarian pursuits. I’ve been over in Africa providing affordable footwear solutions to those that have feet.

Yes, VE’s 2-Litre flip-flop line has been a huge success. We had a few snags along the way though. We had to deflate the bottles completely to avoid any entanglements with Nike and Air technology. But we are hopeful in the future to be able to sell them partially filled with air to provide that cushioning comfort.

We’ve been slowly using the smaller water bottles to provide toddler’s adequate footwear as well.

The green bottles are proving to be the most popular design in the desert locales. “It’s hard to find anything green out here” commented one dirt poor customer.

Next up are cool hub cap hats. They’re light, durable, provide lots of shade and utterly ridiculous. The Africans will love them. I’ve already lined up my supplier.


And God knows where she gets her supply from…

46 comments:

The Incredible Woody said...

Hey, I thought you said you didn't understand fashion. Get a couple of celebrity endorsements and you could go from humanitarian to clothing designer extraordinaire!

Elizabeth said...

They'll not just steal your hubcaps, I saw one walking down the street with a backpack in it's mouth. Bearcubs are little hoodlums!

Gladys said...

First let me say kudos to you for your Green Concept. Next you know you can make slippers out of Maxi-pads don't you? I mean I wouldn't out of used ones but hey that's just me.

Carla said...

I can see this catching on. I know a girl who makes bags out of bike tires. I would have never guessed that they could be so popular.

ReformingGeek said...

Awesome shoes. You could die the cloth different colors using leftover blood for sacrifices.

As for the hubcap lady, did she make that dress out of her kitchen curtains?

YIKES!

Uncivil said...

I didn't know John Kerry Flip-Flops were back in fashion?

VE said...

incredible woody - The world probably isn't prepared for my fashion ideas...

elizabeth - I saw one carrying off Sarah Palin and her big gun too...

gladys - Yeah...the used ones would always have that squishy feel to them...

carla - Cool. I've seen bike inner tube chairs but never a bike tire bag.

reforminggeek - Ssssh...don't tell anybody she did. Just pretend it's a fashion designer quality dress...

uncivil - Well they're much cheaper than the Newt Gingrich ones that have been clogging the shoe stores...

Maureen said...

Oh my... I wouldn't want to be wearing one of those hats in a lightning storm....

Quirkyloon said...

So where do paypal my pymt?

Gotta have me those flip-flops.

I do live in sunny AZ

Jaime said...

first it was plastic bags as outerwear. then sumo diapers for everyone. and now plastic bottle shoes. i can't wait to see what's next.

Alex L said...

That woman is way to happy for someone that has that many hubcaps.

VE said...

maureen - We insert a rubber lining so it's ok. Plus...it makes your head sweat profusely.

quirkyloon - I leave such administrative details to the gnomes. I'm the idea guy you know. Careful...they tend to overcharge the unsuspecting...

jaime - Boy...you never know with me. Whatever it is it'll be different.

alex - She just saved a bundle on her auto insurance...

Elizabeth said...

Ha ha! She would actually have to spend some time in Alaska for that to happen :P

Quickroute said...

fancy footwear - quite a talent you have!

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

At least the pop bottles are being recycled. That can't be comfortable, though!

Anna Lefler said...

You just wait. Marc Jacobs will be knockin' your flip-flops off and taking all the credit.

Bastard.

:^) Anna

nursemyra said...

Is your hubcap supplier related to Borat?

Janna said...

When I grow up, I wanna be just like the hubcap lady.
Except maybe with a few more teeth.

Matt-Man said...

I think we could all chip in by drinking all of the water from our over priced bottles and shipping the empties to the Dark Continent. What could be more helpful than that? Cheers!!

VE said...

elizabeth - I guess so because the Chicago Bears sure can't do anything right

quickroute - You might need a pair as you are into nomad mode now!

arizona - And high heels are?

nursemyra - Ha! It would seem so. But if she gives me a swimsuit like Borats as a gift I'm not wearing it...

janna - They make good self defense weapons too should you find yourself living alone then because you've been wearing curtains for fashion...

matt-man - And we're always helping other countries. Look at Iraq and Afghanastan and Vietnam and Korea and...

Jacki said...

Sending plastic bottles for shoes is so much more eco-friendly than sending old computers over there for them to disassemble for scrap metal! And is better for their health, too.

Anne said...

is that bear playing frisbee?

Jeff said...

Grab a tow rope and you could waterski on those puppies!

VE said...

jacki - I've been floating mine to sea for some time now. They should get there about July...

anne - They need recreation too!

jeff - Probably need an ankle support too but perhaps so. I'll get some water cooler jugs and flatten those and let you know...

Roy Scribner said...

I think if you have 2-liter flip-flops then you are more like dirt middle class. And hubcaps? Puhleeze, where do these people live, Rodeo Drive?

VE said...

roy - Dirt can be expensive sometimes. Look at water world!

Roy Scribner said...

That's right - you're not really poor until you have to drink your won urine!

VE said...

roy - I like to add just a pinch of sweetner to mine...

Kurt said...

Those flip flops are ingenious.

Kevin John said...

VE, I know that woman. She's Erma Jones and 'Teddy' her famous dog/bear,from PPHC inc. (Pre-paid Hub Caps Inc.). For only
$29.95/month you get to go over to her place (in the Ural Mountains) and pick any hub cap you want for free! Plus you get overrides on anyone you sponsor after you sponsor your first 500!
Its too good to miss out on.

Pretty cool.

nursemyra said...

I'd pay good money to see you in a Borat swimsuit VE :-)

Serena said...

Do you have Evian slippers? If so, and you can guarantee a nice hemp rope instead of that frayed cloth, I'll take a pair. Please make sure no bears have licked them.

Sarah said...

I feel like such a stupid westerner. If I found myself with no shoes I would not think to flatten some soda bottles and tie a rope to them to use as shoes. Genius!

VE said...

kurt - Sometimes necessity is the mother of ingenuity...

kevin - Ha! What a crack up. And convenient too because I'm always passing through the Urals...

nursemyra - Ha! I guess in tough economic times I know what my fall back plan will be now. I'd be concerned about unusual tan lines...and enough material...

serena - Don't worry...the bear doesn't work in the sandal department, just the hat department. But I cannot guarantee the hemp makers won't lick it...they're used to rolling and licking other hemp like products...

sarah - I must caution you though that the life of the soda bottles is only around 10,000 years.

Abbie said...

Nice sandals. You should check out today's Grimmy (www.grimmy.com). I think he stole your gnomes.

The Self-Deprechaun said...

Aww man, my mom stole the hubcaps to my hyundai again. I'll order a pair of those 2 liter sandals. Diet please.

VE said...

abbie - He can have them. They're pretty ornery... I'll got check it out anyway.

self-deprechaun - Good call. The Diet versions are much lighter...

leelee said...

Now you are really thinking Green....just think of all the things we dispose that can be made into fashion forward trends.. why this is only the beginning!

HUGS!!

yellojkt said...

That bear has dropped his hat. Somebody should help him put it back. Someone tasty.

unfiinshed rambler said...

I know a place here in Pennsylvania (big shock there, I'm sure) where she can get a new supply of hub caps for her hats when you need them. Just let me know. It's this place I used to pass on the way to my parents when I lived "downstate." Now live "upstate," much different world-- the land of thousands of hubcaps.

Chris Wood said...

That little old lady stole my bloody car!

VE said...

leelee - Yes, we toss away so much that might have other uses. Look for my old microwave purses out this fall...

yellojkt - Eating humans is such a fatty diet. He's trying to cut down...

unfinished rambler - Excellent... because riding my bike to the Ural Mountains to get my supply is getting very old...

chris - I tipped her...told her you'd think it quite funny to have to walk everywhere in the balmy English weather...

Starrlight said...

I take back what I said above about the zombie statues. THAT women is freaky.

VE said...

starrlight - Ha! Yes...I'd hate to wander into her place having run out of gas...

Dee said...

they say necessity is the Mother of Invention.

VE said...

dee - I thought Frank Zappa was in there somewhere...