Thursday, February 05, 2009

Statues

Megan over at All I need is Everything has tipped me to a Theme Thursday going on at this place. I thought I’d join for the challenge. I mean she is at the top of my blog roll. Not that she has commented more than everybody but she wisely chose a blog that started with “A”. Good move…you can see that my blog name wasn’t chosen so wisely…

Anyway, if you’ve been reading for awhile now you know VE can pretty much write a funny on anything. I’ve done everything from linoleum to marketing fecal murals. So I take the theme as a challenge. Here’s this weeks theme subject….statues.

Statues: They’re a bit of an odd art medium aren’t they? Your kids are constantly painting things and bringing them home from grade school but do you ever see them bring home a huge statue for the home? Never! How do future sculpture creators even get started?

But I’m convinced we need more statues. Lots of them! They keep things interesting. I wish I could make statues. First off, I’d have a complete line of huge inexpensive tacky ones to give to inlaws as presents. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Hell…I’d have statues everywhere. I’d just put them there. You know…on busy sidewalks and make them look like real people so dump people would walk into them and ask them directions. And some I’d make creepy or disturbing…
I’d put statues of willow trees in Death Valley. I’d put statues of palm trees in Nome, Alaska. I’d even have statues of grass and put them in a parking lot.

I’d want interactive statues too. Perhaps some really odd one with a white board like he’s holding a sign for everyone to fill in (sort of like my Robin post last week). Or how about a statue with a little wardrobe chest full of old clothes and people could dress him however they want to?

We need something different because all those statues of famous people just make us feel stupid when we don’t know who they are anymore because we were too concerned with making spitballs than studying Paul Revere back in school. And now as adults we’re paying for that poor decision because we have to say “errrr…it’s this famous guy wearing a wig,” when our kids ask us who the statue is of.
Yes…statues can be weird if one is inclined to do so and fortunately for us, there have been some statue creators so inclined…

46 comments:

Jaime said...

i want a really big statue of a dragon made of legos for my backyard. that'll really scare off would-be intruders

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

That religious in-law statue is in my home state of Ohio. I always thought he was saying, Touchdown!

VE said...

jaime - I'm sure there some 30-something guy that has the legos and time to build that for you. That in itself is scary!

prefers - Ah...YOU gave it to your in laws! Good move. Touchdown...perfect...

Bonnie the Boss said...

What about the coconut monkey statues? Why? I will never understand. Who aspires to that?

ReformingGeek said...

I love the statues for the conservative neighborhood. Folks down here would FREAK OUT!

When I read your post title, I thought I saw "Statutes" and I thought you would be writing overly verbose but prolific rules for us today. Thank you for NOT doing that.

BTW, don't miss my caption contest.

Beth said...

Go with it - I think your statues would make the world a fine and better (and funnier) place!

Kurt said...

I want to now more about the baby attack statue.

Bonnie the Boss said...

BTW I voted for the dwarves on your side bar. They would make great statures. Since the are good with natural materials.

Quirkyloon said...

Sculpt me weird!

I love the statue guy coming out of the rock wall. I want one of those for the side of my house!

Are you going to be having a statue giveaway? Huh? Huh? Huh?

dennis said...

Dennis was with you 100% right up until the Gustav Vigeland Statue was mocked! Dennis loves Gustav Vigeland!

The Incredible Woody said...

What about living statues? How someone can sit that still really freaks me out?

Roy Scribner said...

Wow, such an awesome looking party house, except for the big freakin' Jesus statue out front. When you roll up on that place, you know you're in for a night of punch and cookies.

Jeff said...

Those creepy guys are missing various body parts... except for the parts I wish they were missing!

Starrlight said...

Ok the 28 Days Later zombie people were FREAKY!

Cinnamon said...

Yes - more statues please! Everywhere!
I also like the one coming out of a wall. reminds me of Banksy.

Jacki said...

My favorite statue is in downtown Aalborg, Denmark. It is a statue of a family...mom, dad, kid...and they are completely naked and anatomically correct.

Giggle Pixie said...

I'd love to have some of those zombie statues to place around my house. That would keep those pesky solicitors away for sure!

Elizabeth said...

I like the idea of the statue where you could change it's clothes everyday. It'd be like a big barbie doll.

leelee said...

I'm with Kurt on that baby attack statue....inquiring minds want to know!

HUGS!!

Nessa said...

Have you seen those dog statues that come plain and people paint them and then put them up all over a small town?

http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM42BF

Kanrei said...

Steven Wright once wondered if there was a museum somewhere filled with nothing but the arms and heads of the statues in other museums.


You can make a joke about any subject, I have a memorized quote about every subject. Together, we are the sarcasm vault.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

you got some mighty fine statues here....and I like your ideas of placement, etc.

oh that hand soap is really creepy!

subtorp77 said...

Yes, yes! Put the zombie style statues in every gated community! It could deter crime. I know certain law enforcement will park squad cars in key locations, just to keep would-be speeders at bay. It works! And the one coming outta th' wall...cool.

Megan said...

Statues of grass in a parking lot -- that's where I lost it. Totally lost it.

Great stuff, VE. Thanks for joining in, you are the coolest!

lime said...

well i am feeling sort of like that guy all the way at the bottom who is shaking off an army of kids. i wonder if he's commemorating the "how many 5 year olds can i take a fight" quiz?

runmotman said...

Funny, great assortment of pics...i liked your recent posts also.

runmotman said...

Funny, great assortment of pics...i liked your recent posts also.

Serena said...

The zombie statues so creeped me out that I forgot what I was going to say.:)

tut-tut said...

Those hands, though, in the right-hand column . . . now that's creepy.

Kris said...

The statue of the dying and poisoned hare in Nürnberg is a good one too.

Gladys said...

I used to live in Houston Texas. Outside of Houston in Huntsville they have a HUGE 100 foot statue of Sam Houston. I used to scare my kids and tell them that he could see the whole state and he was best friend with Santa. He in fact was Santa's eyes in Texas. Yeah I was a bad mom....;)

The Self-Deprechaun said...

These all look phallic and kama sutra like. I have to stop looking at porn before coming to your sight. I'll put my pants on now.

Janna said...

Like a glutton for punishment, I clicked on your link to the post about fecal murals.

This makes me grateful that there are no fecal statues.

At least, that's what I've decided to believe.

Baino said...

Haha . .quirky plus . .I feel the same way about babies as the dude being attacked. I hope I grow up before I approach Grandparenthood! Nice work!

VE said...

bonnie - I never said I understood art! ha ha

reforminggeek - Hope there's still time for your contest...I got sidetracked all day yesterday...

beth - There you go again... assuming I have initiative! ha ha

kurt - It does beg a story, doesn't it? I'll go research...

bonnie - Glad somebody voted for the poor dwarves. I was beginning to feel like they were being excluded

quirkyloon - No statue giveaways... unless you have some inlaws that need an oversized one

dennis - How is it that a cat knows more about statues of historic people than I do?

incredible woody - I like to dump a jar of cockroaches on them to see just how professional they are!

roy - It does make a statement, doesn't it? Like "Run away, run away"

jeff - I don't make 'em, I just showcase 'em!

starrlight - Maybe they should put those on top of suicide bridge!

cinnamon - Makes you wonder if somebody just started leaving statues whether anyone would say anything and have them removed...

jacki - That is so shocking! ha ha. Yes, Americans are so prudish when it comes to nudity. But then again, look at our overall fitness...

giggle pixie - It would be a good neighbor detterant

elizabeth - Inevitably somebody would steal all the clothes...

leelee - I'm going to research...

nessa - No...weird. But its always been my life's mission to paint a dog statue...

kan - Steven Wright is my comic hero! I love some of his bits...

mouse - Sorrry about the soap. I do a bit of shock value with the pictures sometimes

subtorp77 - I've seen that police car trick. Very effective...

megan - Thanks for tipping me onto this...it was fun

lime - Many parents can relate to that photo at some level. I'm going to research it a bit more...

runmotman - Thanks, and welcome!

serena - Then my work is done here... ha ha

tut-tut - Isn't it odd how many find something so basic...so creepy?

kris - I'll have to look it up; I'm not familiar with that one and I haven't been there before (and I have been a LOT of places)

gladys - Nice one! I like your style...

self-deprachaun - Most statues do...

janna - But I provide inspiration for so many....ha ha

baino - That one resonates with quite a few people...

tony said...

Here in Yorkshire the fashion at present is for "Ice-Sculptures" I feel very sorry for them.I'm mean, someone might walk past them and whisper "July"....So Sad!

VE said...

tony - All those great temporary art...ice sculptures, sand sculptures, chalk drawings. It is a shame they go away...

Uncivil said...

I'd like to have a statue of a dog taking a dump, so I could put it in my neighbors yard!!!!
He would probably try to shoot it?

unfinishedrambler said...

I was just struck by a statue in a nearby town and wished I had a camera, because it was in front of a convenience store. Now I wish I had that photo, but unfortunately, I don't...I guess I'll just have to be satisfied with your brilliance here. :)

VE said...

uncivil - Now you're thinking like me! I like it

unfinishedrambler - That happens to me all the time; wishing I had a camera to capture some crazy thing...

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

Is that dog standing on a snake???????

A.Decker said...

You done it. Made funny on statues.
You're kinda weird, huh? I like that.

Carla said...

Ha! to the inlaw statue. Could you imagine having that thing in your back yard? Yikes.

VE said...

arizona - I think you're right...making it even more bizarre.

A.Decker - I'm not weird, I'm just normally challenged

carla - It would certainly send a message!

colbymarshall said...

I like that last statue where it looks like he's about to thorw some children! I wish I had that for my front lawn, along with a "This will happen to you if you cross..." sign

VE said...

colby - Good idea...cause that Free Daycare sign I put out there is doing the opposite right now...