Monday, March 23, 2009

Barbeque

What is up with barbeque restaurants and themes? I don’t know about where you’re at but around my city we seem to have to have a theme to be able to recognize that it’s a barbeque place.

I’m not fond of the first theme. It seems to always involve fire. I don’t see it as a good marketing strategy to suggest you have to step into HELL to eat some ribs. I could be wrong here; perhaps it’s big with the NASCAR and WWF Wrestling crowd. But invariably there are a number of places like this around town. I can see the conversation already…

VE: Do you have anything that won’t melt my teeth as I eat it?

Worker: Well the ribs are soaked in hot pepper oils for 8 weeks by Lucifer himself.

VE: Hmmm…pass. How about the side of coleslaw?

Worker: You mean Satan’s Slaw? One bite and you’ll be farting like a flamethrower.

VE: Krispy Kreme for dinner isn’t sounding quite as decadent anymore….bye!

The other common theme is the Wild West. Of course! That’s all they ever ate in the old west. Why they’d drop down a steer each night and cook them up some mighty fine beef ribs with a huge slathering of sauce. And everyone knows that the inevitable constipation was the real cause of angry trigger-happy outlaws! It’s good to step back into such pleasant warm memories and have a nice family meal of ribs. If you’re really lucky the place might have installed horse saddles instead of comfortable seats. You know…just for the immersion.

And you don’t have to go to a restaurant to enjoy BBQ. Everyone enjoys a good outdoor BBQ get-together. Of course, invariably, like gambling a meth use there are those that just take it too far…

52 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Yup, hubby got that BBQ out tonight and was grilling away, yummy. But that silver one would be so great. It looks like a meals on wheels kinda BBQ. I am so jealous. I love my smoker, hubby has to buy me a new one this week. Yea!

Dalton J. Fox said...

The "Wild West" theme does seem to be a common one around here. They kinda creep me out so I just stay away from them.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Yes, I long for the good ole days when the rest of the world judged us by the size of our cars, not our bbqs.

Beth said...

I don't enjoy eating at any place that serves food which causes my nose to run (drip) and my eyes to tear up - or constipation!
(BTW, I did that meme - the responses I'm getting crack me up!)

Jacki said...

I love BBQ, but prefer sauces with taste, rather than something that is just going to make me run to the bathroom.

ReformingGeek said...

We have way too many choices for "barbeque" in Texas and we laugh at places in other states that call their food "Texas-style" barbeque. It's usually nowhere close to what we have here.

I like it hot but it had better have flavor!

The Incredible Woody said...

I'd go into hell, around hell, and straight thru hell for some really good ribs - It is very hard to find good ones!

But I'm for flavor - not for a flamethrower fart!

Roy Scribner said...

That's the thing about bbq - even the prince of darkness can make it taste good.

VE said...

mrsupole - We use ours on our back patio to grill up most any kind of meat. It's plumbed for gas and has a nice awning so we don't get wet out there either because it won't stop raining now until July...

dalton - We used to have two really good ones in Portland but both are now gone. Neither had these silly themes.

prefers - Funny...now they judge you the other way if you have a large car...

beth - Oh good, I'll have to come check out your meme!

jacki - I agree. Run and bathroom shouldn't be used in the same sentence

reforminggeek - You're from the land of BBQ! You probably do laugh at what the rest of us think Texas BBQ is just like we here in Oregon laugh at what most of the rest think of as beer (there are more microbrews than Starbucks here)

incredible woody - Yeah, that's the key...good ones. We used to have this 3 or 4 generation family one in town but they sold a couple of years ago. Damn!

VE said...

roy - It seems to be his specialty!

Quirkyloon said...

Still lol-ing VE!

Bar-b-que. It's what's good for ya!

hee hee

Gladys said...

Now see there are different types of BBQ...

In Texas EVERYTHING is BBQ
BBQ donuts
BBQ coffee
BBQ Bagels

Now would you like your coffee with spicy BBQ sauce or sweet?

VE said...

quirkyloon - Well I don't know about it being good for you but it sure tastes good when done right!

gladys - Could you send me up some BBQ twinkies? I can't seem to get them here...

moooooog35 said...

I'm partial to Jessica Simpson's ribs.

Jaime said...

what is with that guy's hair? how much would someone have to pay you to walk around with a barbie mohawk?

VE said...

moooooog35 - Scarlett's ribs would do fine with me. They don't even have to be saucy!

jaime - They'd have to pay me quite a bit. Him, I don't think nearly as much...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

tacky.

Elizabeth said...

I don't think we have any BBQ places up here in Juneau. Well we have a Mongolian BBQ, but that's not the same is it??

MJ said...

The ones here generally just look like shacks or wood cabins. And the inside walls are usually plastered with fishing tackle and Nascar memorabilia... including collector's plates...

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Tack is as tacky does...

elizabeth - That's odd. Surely they'd have a western theme one there!

mj - O.M.G...not collector plates! Nooooooooo

Kurt said...

Who's been telling you to go to Hell?

Chris Wood said...

A lawnmower barbeque? oooo kkkayy.

freetheunicorns said...

I love delicious BBQ. But it has to have flavour not just burn your face off heat.

Also, man do I want that giant BBQ in the picture.

VE said...

kurt - Funny, every stranger I ask to borrow $100 on the street seems to...

chris - Awesome, huh? We Americans are so impractical!

freetheunicorns - Yes...burning your face off should be reserved to those sunny days skiing when you forgot that you need sun screen up there on the mountain too!

Nessa said...

I love BBQ. Now I'm hungrier than I was before.

Once again, your picture of the day distracted me. Barbie mohawks. I wonder if I could get one.

Serena said...

There's a great BBQ place here. No flames or Satanic slaw; just a big pink concrete pig out front.

The Self-Deprechaun said...

I will take the 666 slab of satan's spawn with the side of beelzebub beans.

With extra wipes please.

VE said...

nessa - That's what my photo of the days are designed to do...distract you from your mundane whatever!

serena - You know...pigs out front or on top are probably a third theme too

self-deprechaun - I see somebody has been to hell and had the barbeque! Excellent...

yellojkt said...

You're making me hungry. I went on a cross-country vacation and ate at as many barbeque places as possible. I missed all your places so I may have to make a second pass.

Janna said...

"Well the ribs are soaked in hot pepper oils for 8 weeks by Lucifer himself."

Are you crazy? This sounds DELICIOUS.
I love hot barbecue.
The hotter the better.
I'd be drawn to that flaming place like a moth.

Please tell me you're not one of those wusses who can't handle hot things! I'd pictured you as being one of those admirably tough guys who LOVES farting fire.

Wanna have a contest?
Winner is the first person whose farts can weld two pennies together.

Hey, even if you lose, you can still say you got your "two cents" in.
Ha!

Megan said...

I'm not a big fan of barbecue. Give me a good chili cook-off any time, though.

Now that will leave some collateral damage...

Alex L said...

hahaha, pulled pork... what the hell is that?

padraig said...

@ Meg

You're weird. Not for the liking chili part, but for not being a big fan of barbecue

There's a couple of good places here in Los Angeles for barbecue; one is in a really bad part of town where you have to pony up to a hole sawed in the side of what looks like a set piece from Escape from New York. There's also Burnett's Catering here in Pasadena. The guy used to run a restaurant, now he just delivers huge trays full of meat to events. He's great, you can google him and call the number to hear the most awesome answering machine message ever.

FundamentalJelly said...

BBQ in Texas is all about smoking the meat, sauce plays a lesser role. I went to college in Texas, so I was set straight about this early on my arrival to the Lone Star State. Ummmm!

nursemyra said...

Forget about BBQs - I'm mesmerised by the Barbie mohawk

Matt-Man said...

I've never been a big fan of BBQ. But I do like Satan. He's pretty funny. Cheers VE!!

Anne said...

shouldn't the picture of the mouse ribs be in the bbq post?

VE said...

yellowjkt - Don't bother here. The best two are now gone. There's one that is pretty good; they have a pile of wood outside to smoke the stuff with...

janna - When it comes to Thai or Cajun...bring on the hot. With ribs, I've never much cared for the super hot sauce. You crack me up with the penny thing though. Finally...something to use pennies on!

megan - Chili? I've been there. Santiago is very nice... ;)

alex - That's funny! I have no flippin' idea what that means. It doesn't sound good though...

padraig - You think he'll deliver up to Portland? Hey, it's still on the west coast...

fundamentaljelly - See, that's the trouble...I never smoked!

nursemyra - It is mesmaraizing, isn't it? We could get you a ken one...

matt-man - He's a trickster, you gotta give him that!

anne - It's the carnage afterwards...

Wow said...

Does that BBQ run on premium gas?

VE said...

wow - I don't know, but you'll be farting premium gas afterwards...

leelee said...

this is the south (sort of) so our Bar be que places look real country...like barns. Red with white trim and It always smells good when I drive by..

HUGS!

VE said...

leelee - Yeah, you can get much further South than where you are. Of course you do have to ask yourself if you really want meat served out of a barn or not...

Dee said...

hahah very funny V,

VE said...

dee - You want that BBQ, don't you?

Jeff said...

I like that last one. Kind of gives a whole new meaning to "I coulda had a V8!"

VE said...

jeff - I hear it sucks a lot of sauce to run it though...

Uncivil said...

Hey, you forgot the beans? We have to have beans with our BBQ & Slaw & boiled potatoes down here in the dirty south!

VE said...

uncivil - I have to avoid the beans. I don't want to contribute to greenhouse gases...

unfinishedrambler said...

What about the barbecue places where you can throw peanut shells on the floors? I can't think of the name of the place right now, but there was this one place I used to like to go, not for the peanuts, but for the actual barbecued ribs. What's up with that? Please explain. Thanks.

VE said...

unfinishedrambler - You're right, we have a couple of places like that. What is up with that? You don't see a watermelon place where you spit the seeds all over the floor...

Maureen said...

OMG, that last guy CAN'T be married, can he??? That's just embarassing... me thinks he is over-compensating for something.

VE said...

maureen - Ha! You mean he's cooking small wiener-schnitzel?