Saturday, March 14, 2009

Let's Try it Again Then

Remember my Comic-God Impression series I started last week? Well I started with Stephen Wright if you'll remember. All but one commenter said I'd nailed the impersonation. The last person, my good friend Teri, said:

That was an awful impression of Stephen. Much too wordy. The first two paragraphs were damn close, though! Para #1 needed to be cut off after "... polyester." and Para #2 needed to be cut off after "We call it the psycho path." The other two entries were funny but not Stepheny. I'll be expecting you to try again. :)
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Well I happen to like a good honest opinion! Bravo. I don't totally agree with her but some I do. And I'm ready to try again. Too wordy, huh? Let's try Stephen again:

My friend confessed to an affair. I immediately told his wife because I’m an automatic teller.

I recently installed blinds in my home. Stevie Wonder wasn’t too happy nailed up on the wall either…

My girlfriend said there was a nasty film in the bathroom tub. I couldn’t find the porn DVD in there at all.

I got a taxidermy audit again this year…

Did my bicycle ride. Then I did it again. My girlfriend makes me recycle.

Shouldn’t dwarves only be in short stories?

How do I know I’m not ripped off when I buy invisible tape?

I have to get up to change the TV channel. My remote is on Pitcairn Island.

I finally took my turn-of-the-century farm house to the retirement home

I named my dog “queen of diamonds” and then had her spade. It broke my heart.

44 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

I like these ones.

Not too wordy, not too short. They're just right!

Do you have any salsa to go with these quips, er, I mean chips?

heh heh

Funny VE!

AND...you snuck in a Saturday post!

VE said...

quirky - Yes, I did sneak one in. I'm tricky that way. And...I just can't leave a dissatisfied reader with a challenge hanging out there you know.

ReformingGeek said...

Very good, VE!

My favorite is the nailing of Stevie Wonder. ;-)

FundamentalJelly said...

Good effort and you totally get credit for hanging it out there, but (oh no, a but), some of them wander off into the pun sphere. I am genetically predisposed to groan when I hear a pun and I did groan a few times. No worries, a lesser man wouldn't have even tried.

VE said...

reforminggeek - Thanks

fundamentalJelly - Yeah...I watched 14 different Stephen Wright clips and most of his material is very pun based. It's a fine line to tread...

Megan said...

I like the bicycle and the tape ones best.

Beth said...

Is it possible to “nail it” even better the second time around?
Because you did. Shorter is better – more punchy.
(Loved the “automatic teller” bit.)

freetheunicorns said...

Love it. Especially the dwarves in short movies - brilliant.

freetheunicorns said...

Love it. Especially the dwarves in short movies - brilliant.

VE said...

megan - It's hard to turn around and come up with interesting or funny one liners quickly. I sat down after Teri's comment and watch Stephen again and did these ad-hoc. That means I gotta just free form think about anything in a Stephenish kind of way. It's not easy.

beth - Certainly more Stephen like but I think fundamentaljelly is right, it's hard to not tread into the pun area and lose the Stephen aura of it

freetheunicorns - Thanks. I think we're done with Stephen now...

lime said...

she had a point and i must say this effort is a hoot much more in the vein.

Jaime said...

if we're done with stephen, who's next? loved the automatic teller one.

cathouse teri said...

Purrrrrrrrfect!! Oh and you know I loved the Pitcairn bit!

You're my new hero!

Miao ;)

VE said...

lime - I give people their fair side of things, you can't fault me for that!

jaime - I'm not sure. Got any suggestions?

teri - Yeah...I threw that Pitcairn one in there just for you. I was an obscure joke but I knew you'd appreciate it. Thanks for being honest and putting me to the task!

The Incredible Woody said...

I admit - I'm an idiot. I don't get the Pitcairn Island one.

But I really like the "blinds" bit!

Giggle Pixie said...

These were awesome! I hope you're sending them to Stephen to see if he might use them!!!!

VE said...

incredible woody - It's an obscure joke. The joke is that Pitcairn Island is really remote and so that is where a remote should be...

giggle pixie - Thanks. I think I will try and contact him...see if HE thinks I pulled it off. Thanks for the suggestion.

Roy Scribner said...

I finally catch one of your Saturday posts! Steven Wright isn't easy - the key to his stuff is subtlety. You almost have to replay it in your mind to get the punchline (Pitcairn might be a bit too subtle, though - LOL!).

Jaime said...

hmm...george carlin?

gab said...

These are good. But as for Stephen Wright .....who the heck is he?

Janna said...

"I named my dog “queen of diamonds” and then had her spade. It broke my heart."

Join the club.
Ha!

My favorite is the one about the invisible tape.

VE said...

roy - That was a stretch. Special for Teri since she put me up to this redo

jaime - Ok...I'll give it a shot. I don't know how easy he's gonna be.

gab - I linked him in my earlier post...there's a link to that post at the beginning of this.

janna - Good one! I was actually waiting to see if somebody would add the clubs in to that somehow!

Elizabeth said...

These are funny, I LOL at the automatic teller. I think you should try Bill Cosby!

Megan said...

Just warning you -- I will catch you out on Cosby. I've got all his albums. Ninth Street Bridge, anyone?

Carla said...

You can hit the circuit with any of these. Funny. I love puns.

nursemyra said...

I've been to Pitcairn Island

Uncivil said...

My girlfriend asked if I knew what a yankee was?
I said yes, it's that little string on the end of your tampon?

Mrsupole said...

I have to agree with Megan, the bike and the tape ones were the best. If you had not explained the island one I would not of gotten that one.

Thanks for doing them both. Stephen Wright is hard to do. It was great.

God bless.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I wish I could bottle your brain.

VE said...

elizabeth - Cosby would be a good choice. I'll think about that one too

megan - That is exactly what makes these so hard and so alluring all at the same time. It's difficult to do a commedians style and probably more so as a written medium. I'm thinking about Cosby though...

carla - I don't know that I could do stand up. I'm not afraid of public speaking but the idea of being funny upstage...yikes.

nursemyra - Wow! Really? It's not easy to get to. What was it like?

uncivil - I think I might immitate you as my next session! ha ha

mrsupole - Yes, Stephen is tough in one way but thinking about George Carlin, I watched several of his routines and, oh my, he's going to be extremely hard. I really don't know if I can pull off doing Carlin. But I've got an inkling of an idea...

perpetual - It would probably just melt the bottle...for fun...

Angry Max said...

My favorite Stephen Wright joke is:

I saw a guy with wooden legs... and real feet.

Nessa said...

These are funny and they may be more like Wright's material but I thought you captured his essence better last time.

yellojkt said...

Everybody likes the Stevie Wonder joke, but I think it's a tad tasteless. But then I like the dwarf joke, so I'm not a good judge in that respect.

VE said...

Angry Max - Good one! I like the one where he install the circus fun mirror as his rear view mirror in the car...

nessa - Thanks.

yellojkt - Of course I called Stevie personally to get permission. I tried to get ahold of Gimli but alas there was no cell phone coverage in the mines...

Serena said...

I love it! You're really very good at this.:-)

Jaime said...

my mistake. i didn't realize you wanted EASY!

VE said...

serena - Thanks. It's just gonna get harder from here on out

jaime - Nah...I would never be satisfied with easy...

Wow said...

Stepen Wright. Isn't he that monotone guy?

Anonymous said...

I just ran into this. Pretty funny

VE said...

wow - Well he's certainly not coppertone! ;)

anonymous - You just ran into it? I'm calling my insurance...

unfinishedrambler said...

Unlike anonymous, I've been here a few times previously and yet am still returning. Of course, maybe it has something to do with your dead-on impersonations like this. Of course, most of the time, I think it's because you're your own unique crazy genius.

VE said...

unfinishedrambler - Yes, you have been here many times and I thank you for that. Yes, at least I've got my own style, even if I lack it! Now we'll have to see if I can pull off a different comic!

Maureen said...

Ha! Invisible tape!!!!

Yep, you nailed it.

VE said...

maureen - I did all of the impromptu by sitting down at the computer and just writing for 20 minutes...