Thursday, March 05, 2009

Oh, excuse me, I have glass...

Can you believe it? It’s another Theme Thursday already! This week: GLASS.




If you had invented this product, you’d have to change your life to support it.

Ok, sure, you'd be rich in the end. You could then afford to hang out with VE and do nothing. It's a coveted role.

But you can’t just invent something anymore. You have to walk the talk! That’s right, the inventor of a glass cleaner needs to live in a glass house.

Just wear a robe for God’s sake! And living in a glass house really isn’t enough. You need a glass bathroom. I’ve got the perfect tub and shower for you

Don’t forget the toilet either. You can go with the cool glass toilet tank replacements

And you can add in the glass seat. That’ll feel good at 5am!


But if you’re feeling really over-the-top then by all means go with the $75,000 crushed glass one.

Don’t worry…I think they’ve smoothed it out to the touch. I think…

Now, that’s obviously not enough is it? Of course it isn’t. This is a VE post! It’s never enough here at Fantastical Nonsense. So bring that glass bathroom outside. Make a public one with one way glass.

That’s right, you can laugh at people trying to stare in while you let go of a nice tapered number two! Be sure to wash afterward though. I will not tolerate non-washers!

But this needs to go further. You’re gonna need to play all your sports using glass. It’ll make football that much more challenging.

Instead of just using the football as an excuse to pummel your irritating neighbor into his future grave site you now have an actual skill game trying to hold a nicely polished glass football as somebody tries to rip your leg from your body…

And don’t forget that your transportation needs to be glass too.

Ok, you can go with that one. It does say, “Don’t Touch” and keeps people from keying the side of it. But it is difficult to clean the bird crap. I’d suggest going with a high tech prototype instead:


Now that baby says “Look at me! Look at me!” You’ll have to stop your habit to driving around with no clothes on though.

Ah, glass. As a final offering I’m going to leave you with this outdoor display of confidence in glass products. This public display with real money is out there to prove that the glass is too strong for anyone to get the money out.
All this proves is don’t let VE go to the dark side. Ever.

74 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Glass toilet - priceless
VE's comments about glass toilet - priceless

Enough said.

Great post, who would of thought of that one.

Mrsupole said...

Okay, not really enough said.

Uckey glass car - not priceless

Prototype car - awesome

Glass football - killer dude

Glass shower - way to go

Glass bathtub - way cool

Glass toilet tank - is ducky included

Glass house - freaky, too freaky

Glass cleaner - necessary

Glass bank - let's go get it

Yes, this was a great post.

It was just so you. I liked it.

subtorp77 said...

I have got to get over here, more often! Fantastical post, VE.

Matt-Man said...

Sweet. I am diggin' the glass toilet tank. Although instead of a duck, I'd have a human head in it. Cheers!!

Ronda Laveen said...

Will VE buy me the sparkly, shiny toilet and the car to match? I'm way into BLING!!!

Candie Bracci said...

very nice posts.
Particularly loved the bathroom and the cars,but a glass toilet?They are crazy!lol.

lime said...

i dunno but that high tech prototype looks like a long tapered one with wheels....

High Desert Diva said...

Thanks for the laughs....I cannot believe what people think of to make!

Leah said...

I LOVE the glass house. But wouldn't you get the willies at night? I'd always feel like someone was watching from the dark...maybe I've seen too many horror movies, but I like to be able to draw the curtains at night!

Neat post.

Jeff said...

What is that saying again?... Those who live in glass houses should not play the Stones?

Probably because if you play them too loud you'll blow out your walls.

Jeff said...

No wait... I got that wrong. I think the saying is, Those who live in glass houses should not get stoned. And that's obvious because it's too easy to get busted. Plus, you'd probably keep walking into the walls all the time.

That is the saying, right?

The Clever Pup said...

Very well researched. I have an acquaintance that has an all-glass shower in her bedroom. No matter how fit she is for 50+, there must be some mornings when she just doesn't feel like showering in front of her husband.

Kurt said...

Oh VE, you scamp!

The Incredible Woody said...

Hey, who told you about my habit of driving around with no clothes on?

Jaime said...

crushed glass toilet? how do you come up with this stuff? :)

VE said...

mrsupole -You're going to have to do all my commenting. It's as good as the posts!

subtorp77 - Thanks. It's always an unusual ride over here and the gnomes have seen you around now so they probably won't bite...

matt-man - Just like Hannibal, huh? I think I'd worry it was alway watching me pee. I hate that...

ronda - Bling is good but it is hard to carry your shiny toilet around for anyone to see it...

candie - Yes, I seek out those that have no common sense...

lime - Oh lime...I laughed at that one. Yes...a very nice taper to it too!

high desert diva - I can't either. I mean take mine...it was just so obvious!

leah - You'd have a lot of curtains in that house!

jeff - People who leave glass posts should do them in one shot! ;) But I think you have a point there. I'll go ask Michael Phelps what he thinks...

clever pup - That's easy...just lock him out!

kurt - No...but sometimes I camp!

incredible woody - I think Kurt told me...he's such a scamp

jaime - I blame the gnomes...

Carla said...

Great post. And although I love windows, not sure I'd want to live in a glass house.

Anne said...

There are no pillows on that bed. That bugs me.

Does that house have a basement?

The tub is cool.

I've seen a pic of that NY toilet before, it's kinda cool.

Marianna said...

my my my! that is a great Theme Thursday post!

Thank you for the pictures, especially the toilet ones. I tried what it would be to sit on a glass lid and...mam it was cold (in my head:-)

xoxo

VE said...

carla - Especially if you're a celebrity...

anne - They had to use their pillows to store all the money from that display they took...

VE said...

mairianna - I would think so too. I'd probably use velvet...you know...like the Elvis poster.

Quirkyloon said...

"don't let VE go to the dark side."

It's too late, my friend, way too late. You're already there!

Ha!

And I'll take two bling bling toilets please. *grin*

Kirsten said...

I get the no more driving around naked, but does this mean we can't play football naked now too?

VE said...

quirkyloon - Two bling toilets? But you can only use one...oh wait, you're going to mount them as the seats inside that glass car, aren't you?

kirsten - No, you can still play naked football. Just send me the schedule of games...

Brian Miller said...

you always come up with the most amazing things on Theme Thursday. Love the prototype car, sleek. great post.

Chica said...

As I was reading the post about the toilets, I fully expected glass toilet paper! lol

Dakota Bear said...

Wonderful post.

The sidewalk toilet is fascinating. I went to a party in a glass house once. The house was made of thick glass blocks. As the sun set the colors of the walls changed.

moooooog35 said...

I had a glass blow-up doll once.

Once.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

ha ha.....great!

I want one of those glass tubs....

another fantastical contribution to tt!!!!!

mouse (aka kimy) said...

p.s. that is a chihuly in the belagio!
you know your glass!!!

ReformingGeek said...

I'm feeling very exposed right now. There is no place to hide.

As for the cleaning of all that glass, that would drive me nuts. It would never be done. Some dumbass would put another fingerprint on it as soon as I finished polishing.

Gladys said...

I used to work with this guy from Loozeranna who would always mix his metaphors up. One day he told me people in brick houses shouldn't throw glasses.

Now what time should I be ready to light the torch on that welder?

Elizabeth said...

LOL, funny post! I wonder how many birds die each year from flying into that glass house?

colbymarshall said...

that toilet is SHPARKLY!!! I want one!

VE said...

brian - Thanks! I really have no idea what I'll be covering for these; they get written pretty imromptu...

chica - Ha! The ultimate in green approach...recyclable TP! You just wash it off an reuse...

dakota bear - Wow, that's pretty cool. I've never been to one...and I've been to some amazing houses before. I can't think there are a lot of them either.

moooooog35 - Ha! That's like having a glass Jenga game! What a crack up...literally

mouse - Thanks. I suspected that was the same glass artist but one never knows these days. They are very impressive and distinctive... and I like distinctive!

reforminggeek - Maybe just start with it all smudged and fingerprinted on...call it distressed

gladys - Loozeranna...I like it! I see you're warming up to the torch idea too...

elizabeth - Maybe he should hang scarecrows from each window...

Beth said...

Too many streaks after cleaning - and I've always enjoyed throwing stones...

VE said...

colby - All women want that toilet. And all men are just gonna miss and pee all over it anyway...

VE said...

beth - You could use the glass that I stole all that money from. Rocks don't seem to break that stuff...

leelee said...

LOL w/ Matt-man!!

this post about glass "cracks" me up!

HUGS!!

VE said...

leelee - Where ya been? It's been awhile! My posts are so transparent, aren't they?

leelee said...

haha...VE I am hopelessly addicted to FaceBook now....its like a drug..I can't stop!

help me

HUGS!!

Nessa said...

I am always amazed at the odd photos you find.

Michael Rawluk said...

Why take a torch? Just ram it with the van.

willow said...

You know what they say about living in glass houses...

VE said...

nessa - Me too...

michael - That's a good point. But then they might look for a van all dented up...

willow - They shouldn't listen to rock?

Starrlight said...

Is it wrong that I want the Elvis -The Vegas Years glitter potty?

VE said...

starrlight - Ha! Not at all. In fact, for extra money to waste you can get the slot machine flusher as it plays "Return to send" as it flushes...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I'd like to take a crack at that glass wall with the cash in it. I also love the idea of the public washroom. Bet it's one of the cleaner public toilets out there!

Mike said...

I'd totally whip it out and pee in the glass bathroom.

Might get a girlfriend out of the deal, maybe ;)

Dot-Com said...

I like the glass tub. Wish I could have it!

nursemyra said...

I like the glass cars - both of them

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Yeah, it's hard to trash a glass public restroom...

mike - Or arrested...they both have the same effect on your psychosis in the end...

dot-com - I'd hire somebody to clean it though...what a pain.

nursemyra - The first one would be fun to take to the drive through car wash...

Serena said...

I think you've already been to the Dark Side -- and brought these ideas back. I will never, ever sit on a glass toilet. There would be too many embarrassing questions at the ER.

VE said...

serena - Ha! It is hard to treat that line and sometimes I clearly step over to the wrong side...

Thinkinfyou said...

I would never own a glass toilet because I'd be too afraid that of getting glass shards in my ass! OUCH!

Megan said...

I'm flabberglassted.

Evening Light Writer said...

Hilarious! I'm a little freaked out about the glass throne and the glass bathroom, I'm sure it was a piece of performance art...wasn't it?

The glass bathtub looks kind of cool though, I'd give it a try.

Great post, you made me giggle.

VE said...

thinkinfyou - Yes, that would be a big pain-in-the-ass

megan - You win best use of a glass in a pun! Excellent!

evening - Thanks. All of those bathroom products are available for purchase if you can believe it...

Hale McKay said...

Let us not forget Diana Price (aka Wonder Woman)and her invisible robotic jet plane. It must be glass, right?

Janna said...

$75,000 for a toilet???

For that price there should also be an assistant who wipes your butt and sprays air freshener and flushes for you and plunges out any unfortunate clogging that may result.

The Self-Deprechaun said...

For the cost of that toilet, one's caboose better come out crusted with diamonds after you're done with your business.

VE said...

hale - Ah Wonder Woman. Yes, I always secretly wished her superhero outfit was invisible

janna - Now I wouldn't mind somebody doing the plunging... that's just a pain!

self-deprechaun - Yeah, talk about flushing your money away...

Cuppa Jo said...

Glass toilet seats are wrong on so many levels. Levels of wrongness.

Dee said...

i love the house and I don't own a robe! tee hee!

VE said...

cuppa jo - We know there are germs and such...we don't need a seat to emphasize it

dee - Uh oh. They'll be lawn chairs in the back yard all evening filled with the peepers. They show up every spring...

Maureen said...

I'll bet NONE of those items are from San Francisco; one earthquake and your life would be shattered!

VE said...

maureen - Good point! Not what I'd want living there...

Kris said...

That glass bath is horrid.

VE said...

kris - Kind of odd, for sure. I don't really have feeling for it either way. I'm not a tub fan anyway, I prefer a nice walk in shower.

Auntie, aka cagny said...

Dang, VE,
You went off on the glass theme!
This post wins the prize in my book.
Thanks for visiting Dog Girl.

VE said...

auntie - Awww...thanks! That's really nice especially considering nothing came to me for the theme right away. Usually they come right away...

Uncivil said...

I was expecting to see Tommy Morrison the boxer. I think he had a glass jaw?

Count Sneaky said...

Never live a stone's throw from anyone else if you live in a glass house. Count Sneaky

VE said...

uncivil - There've been a few with glass jaws over the years. That could be a whole separate glass-themed post!

count sneaky - Good point...and I see it looks as if that house has adhered to such advice