Monday, March 16, 2009

Things and Habits I MIGHT Have

I got tagged for yet another meme. First of all, are there really any I haven’t already destroyed? I’m sure Lime would know…she’s a meme magnet. Second of all, how do I end up getting tagged? Am I like the slow person out there that can’t run away or something? Is this like Hide and Seek and I’m in the most obvious spot, like the closet? I just don’t know…

Anyway, here goes. First of all the rules:

1. Don’t talk about meme rules
2. Don’t talk about meme rules

Yeah, that’s about all I’m going to do there. This came from Mrsupole and she probably hasn’t seen my other ones. So for her, don’t forget this ridiculous nonsense, oh and my other ones here and here. And who can forget me turning this one around and into a game.

So when you link these things you trace back through some weird stuff:
Mrsupole, who almost cut her toe off, got it from
Candie, who won’t wear silk pajamas, who got it from
Gaelle, who wrote it in French and I’m sure it says she’s hot and not afraid to pee on the side of the highway who got it from
Moses, who liked to carve stone, who got it from
Lucifer, whom God told not to start the meme game in the first place!

That Lucifer, he was such a prankster!

So what’s this one about? I’m supposed to mention 6 things or habits of no importance about me. Yeah right. I’ll tell you what, this time I’ll give you 6 things and 6 habits but only one of each will be true. You tell me. The first that can tell me correctly will get a personalized gnome surround photo. Sort of like these. How could you NOT want that?

Things

1. I collect the travel barf bags from every trip I take on a plane or boat

2. I have a treadmill scooter that you can run on outside to get around

3. I gave my wife a belt with four extra legs so she can wear more of her shoe collection

4. I have an authentic spanking cane for kids that I picked up in Singapore

5. I have a balloon tube bicycle; the lightest bike on the market

6. I have an authentic bat phone just like the original one commissioner Gordon had on the TV show and I can make it ring by remote and then say “Holy Donuts, Batman” when friends are over.

Habits

1. While I wait in line at the Motor vehicles I hide my ipod with the portable speakers and play a farting track while I watch the expressions on everyone’s face.

2. I put dark makeup around my eyes and rub them a whole bunch and then walk around offices I don’t know with a foot high coffee cup going “Oh what a night…”

3. I xerox hundreds of copies of actresses or actors that people hate and then leave them in every conceivable location they have (inside the stapler, in books, under their mouse)

4. I like to leave life-like dummies stranded from bridges at night and then video all the mayhem of people wondering what happened and trying to bring them down

5. I like to bring my kid's tiny toy vacuum into the airport and pretend I’m vacuuming while making a vacuum noise with my mouth just to see if people even notice.

6. I pretend to attempt to count every bean in the giant bean-guessing jar by starting at a really high number and then when somebody comes up near me I say “65,214, DAMN, now I’ve lost my count. Thanks! 1-2-3…”

For tagging, I’m gonna have to go with my blog roll and go every 6th person starting with top blog commenter on my blog (ok, there are several tied but she's first alphabetically...you others should have named more wisely!) That would be: Elizabeth, Quirky, Lime (figures), Alex, Beth and MJ.

Go ahead, astonish me…

55 comments:

Jaime said...

you make it fun to tag you. no one else creates their own games from these silly things.

the true ones are that you collect the barf bags. and you xerox stuff people hate and leave them everywhere.

how'd i do with the guessing?

Chris Wood said...

The Ipod farting track? Very cool idea.

VE said...

jaime - You were very close! You got one of them right!

chris - Thanks. Hey, your book should be arriving this week.

The Incredible Woody said...

Are we supposed to think that spanking cane is just a travel momento?

VE said...

incredible woody - The gift that keeps on giving!!!

Jaime said...

okay - then it has to be the barf bags and the farting soundtrack.

VE said...

jaime - Getting colder...

MJ said...

Damn you for tagging me.

Well, I'm going to guess 4 and 3. But I'm usually wrong.

*sigh* I'll get to it tomorrow.

VE said...

mj - You got it! You were the first to get both of them! You get a personalized gnome photo. Lucky you! Jamie is not going to be happy...she was so close...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

darn. I was hoping you collected barf bags.

Nessa said...

I have an authentic spanking cane for kids that I picked up in Singapore - why are you picking up children in Singapore and spanking them?

lime said...

i think you have a singapore cane and you xerox things.

i also think you are evil for tagging me. :P

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Actually, my old boss brought them back once from Hong Kong. We used to bring back "tacky trinkets" for everyone and it was a big deal to try and find something really cheap and tacky and be able to get 20 of them (one for all of us). I do still have mine...

nessa - It's good practice you realize. We westerners aren't well versed in cane spanking and so kids are more than happy there to teach us...

VE said...

lime - You are correct. The xerox thing I have done on several occasions. My good frind hates Glenn Close and I put her photo EVERYWHERE. He found one 5 years after the event even...

freetheunicorns said...

I'm going with spanking cane and leaving life-like dummies around the city. It seems somewhat devious, and I like deviousness.

moooooog35 said...

You're supposed to SPANK these kids from Singapore?!

I suppose that explains this jail cell.

cathouse teri said...

Dammit, late was I to the guessing party! Whatever will I do without that photo???

(I had picked out #1 and #6 ~ shows what I know! I was totally sure about the barf bags.)

Elizabeth said...

I was sure it was the barf bags too. Oh well, maybe it's just me who does that. So I've been tagged huh? I'll work on it today during work, um, I mean on my breaks. :)

Quirkyloon said...

First off...a spanking cane? Sounds like a future blog giveaway! heh heh

And thanks for tagging me.

Really.

I don't mind.

fafafafafafafafafafafa
(Hannibal Lecter impersonation)

Gladys said...

I guess C. Yes that's my final answer C. Oh wait maybe 3. No, no, that's not right...If a train leaves the station... wait wrong test. VE you didn't tell me there was going to be a quiz and my dog ate my homework and I believe EVERYTHING you say so I think it's all true. Did I pass?

Mrsupole said...

Funny how I knew this meme was just perfect for you. Only you could take it to a whole new level. It is that devious mind of yours. This was hilarious, but believe it or not I had it narrowed down to between barf bags, the canes, and the xerox copies just seemed like something you would do. Although the toy vacuum was pretty close in the running too. I could see you doing that one. too.

Anyway, that was great and I am so honored that you took me up on my meme. Thank you so much for doing it. Only you could make it turn out this way. Now we need to see what follows with the other meme's.

God bless..

I also do have to say that one of them was a little Stephen Wrightish of you. You tell me which one!

VE said...

freetheunicorns - You got the spanking cane right but alas...the dummies was only wishful thinking on my part. Dummies up on bridges, while very devious and entertaining, takes a lot of prep work and costs and I'm far too sloth like for such a pursuit...

moooooog35 - Jail cell... ha... that's explaining a lot now.

teri - Yeah, the barf bag one was kind of misleading because it does sound like VE, doesn't it? I'd totally do number 6 but it is so hard to find a bean counting contest these days...

elizabeth - Good! It's a noble pursuit during work...errr...breaks

quirky - Consider this a rare event. I rarely EVER tag anybody real. And you can't take my cane away. You can't have it. You can't have it! Yeah, never worked for Gilligan either...

gladys - You did pass...you passed out! ha ha. You also pretty much summed up my entire academic life!

VE said...

mrsupole - See...you've pretty much got me figured out already! ha ha. Now as to the challenge. Wow, I'm having trouble with that one. On the things...I think 2,3, or 5 could be very Stephen. I'll got with 3 cause it's strange. I don't know if any of the habits are Stephen like. Some of those would definitely be George Carlin quips though...

Roy Scribner said...

It's scary that I'm starting to figure you out. Does Xerox still make copiers?

Jaime said...

damn! i should have known it was the spanking stick

ReformingGeek said...

Dummies from bridges? Spanking cane?

Oh, VE!

You win. You are the craziest guy I know.

Megan said...

Whatever. It's already over. Whatever. Stupid Mondays.

Beth said...

The one true thing - # 5.

The one true habit – Haven’t a clue. The only one that doesn’t ring true is #4!

(As for the tagging? Can one shoot daggers through cyberspace?)

Venom said...

True thing - #4
True habit - #6

VE said...

roy - That is scary. I almost changed it from 'xerox' to 'copy' but then decided, nah, I'm old school! More fun using something that was never intended to be a verb...

jaime - See...all that to earn the right to be humiliated by my gnomes. I didn't know people would line up for such abuse!

reforminggeek - Crazy is as crazy does I guess

megan - Yeah...it is a Monday. Very fitting for yet another meme. Don't worry...I've already featured you with the gnomes anyway. I know...it was a dream come true...

beth - Daggers? Ha! I have a high pain threshold and getting stabbed by internet daggers would only lead to more ridiculous crazy stories.

VE said...

venom - Not bad! You got the first one right. As for that habit...I'd totally do that if I ever saw a bean counting contest. Sadly, they are far and few between.

Anne said...

I thought I'd read about you in Stewardess Weekly about your barf-bag collection.

justacoolcat said...

Actually, I choose to believe it all.

Me-Me King said...

Oh, you think you have troubles? Trying having the name Me-Me King, now, if that's not a magnet for memes, I don't know what is!

VE said...

anne - You get that publication too? Riveting...isn't it? I only wish my barf-bag collection were in there (if I had such a collection)

justacoolcat - Good for you! The tooth fairy just used one of my barf bags...

me-me king - Woohoo...now I know who to dump these on in the future! I know your pain, everytime I get on a humor group chat I have to listen to this blasted "beep" for every word that has 'VE' in it because they think somebody is addressing me specifically. Damn software...

Serena said...

You have some rather odd habits. Fun, and sure to break up the monotony anywhere, but definitely odd.:-)

Dalton J. Fox said...

Guess I'm too late on the guessing. Oh well. I was wrong anyway. I pegged you for a barf bag collector.

VE said...

serena - Now I MIGHT have those. In reality, my prankishness has been only in the area of photo copied images hidden on people's desks...I'm hoping to expand to all of them in the future!

dalton - I'm shocked...so many people think I have a barg-bag collection. It would be very VE like to have that too. Alas, I only have my one from the Hong Kong ferry boat...

The Self-Deprechaun said...

This is hilarious and scary at the same time. People either love or hate you at work. But probably a little of both. Rub eyes to make dark circles. I will surely get the promotion now.

VE said...

self-deprechaun - They love and hate that I'm not at work...ever. They love it because I'm not there to destroy their sanity and they hate it because they wish they could do the same thing...

Mike said...

#4 and #1

VE said...

Mike - Why do I think these are YOUR habits?

Janna said...

Drat!
I was SO hoping habit #6 was true.
I've gotta try that sometime.

I was gonna say something else about habit #3 but now I'm trying to figure out how you can fit a picture inside someone's stapler.

How many times do you have to FOLD it before it fits?
346... 347... 348...

Accghhhh! Now I've lost count!

Matt-Man said...

I know...I just know you have to have a spanking cane. And for no reason whatsoever I bet you Xerox copies of famous people. Cheers!!

Kurt said...

I don't see those barf bags very often any more. Do you request one from the flight attendant?

Dee said...

4 and 6 but am i too late?

VE said...

janna - You actually reduce the picture to a very small version, cut that out and place where the staples go. When they finally run out of stamples several months later you can smile from their screaming anguish yell as they discover yet another picture they didn't find earlier...

matt-man - Yes, you know me too well Mr. Smarty man! And you secretly want to borrow the cane for your own personal needs, don't you!

kurt - Yes, it's like blankets and food...they've scaled back to save costs.

dee - Yep, too late. MJ got it. Not bad though...you got the first one right.

Alex L said...

Tagged... again... its coming fear not.

VE said...

alex - I'll be watching

yellojkt said...

I cannot believe that meme is still circulating. How did it take so long to get to you?

Maureen said...

After being addicted to your blog, I could believe you doing ALL of these things....

Carla said...

Awe...missed the guessing game. I really need to check in more often.

VE said...

yellojkt - They were just afraid!

maureen - Good answer! You know I would!

carla - Got to get up pretty early in the morning to keep of with VE. He gets lost so early on...

Uncivil said...

I'm late

VE said...

uncivil - For this one; you unfortunately are. Snooze you lose as they say...