Thursday, March 19, 2009

Vegetables Aren't What You Think

It’s time for another Theme Thursday. This week’s theme is Vegetables.


This time around I’m just going to talk about vegetables straight up. No elaborate comedy idea. Sure, I could talk about how brussel sprouts are a delicious part of a vegan breakfast! I could go on and on about other wacky uses for vegetables. But not this time. Vegetables are wacky enough on their own.

First of all, people can’t even decide on whether a bunch of them are a vegetable or a fruit. Take the tomato for example. Biologically it is a fruit but a law was accidentally passed to define it as vegetable. What of the pumpkin? Technically it is a fruit too. But when speaking in terms of cuisine it can be either. Humans, we have to categorize and then we have to have exceptions.

But there are some weird ass vegetables out there. Take this strange Italian cauliflower…

This looks like the vegetable equivalent of eating seashells! Look long enough and you can actually visualize some strange Dr. Suess world living down in there! Well…I can!

I have a hard enough time liking some root down in the ground without imagining it as something else! But imagining vegetables as something else is a long standing tradition that is only getting bigger and bigger.

Take pumpkins. Pumpkins are the quintessential carved vegetable on the planet. They’ve come along way from your basic kid carvings too!

It doesn’t stop with pumpkins though. Thanks mostly in part to there being 6 billion people on the planet of which most are bored and/or out of work we now have any vegetable becoming a candidate for art.
If you think about it though, we’ve been imagining vegetables to be other things for quite some time and it hasn’t required any carving skill…just a little bit of perverted imagination!

83 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Oh my, Oh my, Oh my.

Mrsupole said...

Yup, read it again, and that is all I can say is oh my, oh my.

Where did those carrots come from? The Garden, with Adam and Eve?

And that yam, oh my.

Those peppers are really hot!

And why do I not look so good in my bikini?

I want to go back to Alaska.

My fish never look so cute.

Oh, okay, I did find a little more to say.

God bless. Oh my.

Mrsupole said...

Oh yes, and the oh my is for moving up to 20, I guess it is now 21. Oh my.

Thanks VE, you rock.

Mrsupole said...

Just so you know, do I get to be first, second, third, fourth. Oh my.

Mrsupole said...

I did this one time on a very much used website and I got up to number 13. Fifth. Oh my. Okay, I will stop.

Mrsupole said...

Sixth, just can't stop myself. Am trying. Gotta get to VA.

Mrsupole said...

That was Veggie's Annonymous. Alright I will truly stop. I promise.

Mrsupole said...

Okay, grandson just came in and saved me. Moving on to next TT.

Ronda Laveen said...

That Italian cauliflowers is scary! I'm not even sure how I would go about eating it. It looks even more impenetrateable than an artichoke. All I can say about the erotic veggies is, I guess all life is concerned with reproducing. Amazing.

Blonde Goddess said...

I'd love to try the Italian cauliflower. And I can totally see what you mean about it looking like a Dr.Seuss world...

My whole family loves vegetables and I've never had a hard time getting my kids to eat them.
I think the key to that is to offer a wide variety when they're young and give them several options.

Kurt said...

I've never heard of ass vegetables, even the weird ones.

lime said...

your second last set of pictures comes from saxton freymann who speciallizes in that sort of thing. i have a book of his and this year's calender. i love his whmisy.

that last collage though....wow, the spud and peppers are a bit disturbing.

The Incredible Woody said...

That gentleman carrot is, um, very well endowed!

VE said...

mrsupole - Eight comments...oh my! Of course you realize my blog roll tally is done by hand by me and that you get one tally per post. Don't worry, you haven't been the first to try and advance higher this way! ;)

ronda - Yeah I don't know what you'd do with that cauliflower either. Use it for decorating?

blondegoddess - Whew, I thought I was the only one seeing Dr. Suess characters down there...

kurt - Ha! It's part of a balanced ass dinner!

lime - You mean there are sources to the photos I mercilessly steal out there? Wow! Oh, and the last one is why you should always wash your vegetables...

incredible woody - Well, lets put it this way. He doesn't need to drive a monster truck...

Sornie said...

That italian cauliflower looks like a moon rock and I refuse to eat moon rocks.

VE said...

sornie - Why? Are they high in cholesteral? I always thought moon rocks were a good source of Tang...

Roy Scribner said...

I'm pretty much a vegetable until I have my 2nd cup of coffee. Then I'm more of a nut.

Jacki said...

I find it funny that the "female" carrot is crossing it's legs. A sort of "you aren't sticking that thing here."

And...hahhaha....the string coming out of the male carrot's third leg looks like something else.

VE said...

roy - That's me with Pepsi. I don't drink coffee. "Sometimes you feel like a nut...sometimes you don't!"

jacki - Well look at the size of that thing, can you blame her?

Brian Miller said...

oh my. amazing pic of the shells cauliflower as well. would be interesting to try to get in your mouth. great play on the theme. no comedy, indeed.

The Clever Pup said...

The Italian Cauliflower/Brocolli thingy has a beautiful name which I just learned and promptly forgot. Romanesco - there we go. Wouldn't you just want to bronze it and keep it forever.

moooooog35 said...

Great.

Now I want to bang a kumquat.

Again.

Jaime said...

i had so much trouble writing about vegetables and i come over here and find this. i think i need to rent out one of your gnomes to help me with next week's theme.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

weird ass indeed! another thoroughly entertaining add! thanks!!

Gladys said...

Well I guess those veggies don't relate to the Virgin Mary Squash or the potato that resemelbed Jesus Christ or Obama they couldn't decide who it looked more like.

VE said...

brian - Yeah, well, maybe a little comedy. I just can't stop myself...

clever pup - It would seem that its better to just display it somewhere than eat it. A museum or something. Anything in Italian sounds nice to me...

moooooog35 - Ha! I suspected it wasn't your first rodeo...

jaime - Careful though...they tend to give wedgies and leave your screen door open to let out the pets...

mouse - I guess I'm fated to all things weird ass...

VE said...

gladys - The has to be a balance. For every Virgin Mary squash there is a Newt Gingrich artichoke...

ReformingGeek said...

Great Googly Moogly, VE! With your erotic vegetables and Dana's review of a "rather large" sex toy, my expectations of what certain things should look like are.....er.....changing.

Yes. I know. I've lived a sheltered life.

No brussel sprouts for me today!

Quirkyloon said...

My eyes! My eyes! They burn!

I'll never look at a carrot the same way again.

Thanks VE.

Really thanks.

Did I say thanks?

heh heh

VE said...

reforminggeek - Watch where you put the butter on that spud!

quirkyloon - VE...ruining vegetables one image at a time...

Wings said...

I'd like to know WHO looked at that Italian cauliflower one day and said "Yeah, I'd eat that." What???

Sarah said...

From now on whenever I serve baked potatoes they will be peeled to look like they are wearing bathing suits. Brilliant!

Kanrei said...

That last photo is great! My favorite vegetable is still GWB.

VE said...

wings - It makes one wonder about that, huh? I once did a post about trial and error where I pondered all the crazy things we do and how somebody had to figure all of them out somewhere along the line...

sarah - Be sure to put some sun screen on them before you bake them. You don't want cancerous baked potatoes!

VE said...

kan - GWB is a unhealthy vegetable though! Fun to laugh at but look at the economy now!

Elizabeth said...

Wow! Vegetable porn before 8:00 in the morning. I was not ready for that!

willow said...

I can just imagine the chaos those veggies would have caused if they had been found in our garden when the kids were young!!

Candie Bracci said...

ah ah :D
Yeah some vegetables are really weird for sure!I wanted to put the potato one too but then I changed my mind,lol.
I like italian cauliflower but true it's kind of a weird veggie!

Great post
:)

Candie Bracci said...

Mrsupole,how many messages?lol

Candie Bracci said...

Hum..not sure it's a potato though..

reyjr said...

HAHAHA! the carrots are hilarious!!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

My face hurts from laughing.

subtorp77 said...

Even when you're not trying to be humorous, I still get a few chuckles, VE. Marvelous post! I dunno 'bout that Italian cauliflower..it just looks plain mean!!!

VE said...

elizabeth - You're a regular here! You should know better. There are very frew dull moments at Fantastical Nonsense and plenty of unwelcome shockers sprinkled in

willow - Think of it this way...saves you from broaching the old birds and bees talk...

candi - Wow, you've eaten it? What do you do with it? It looks impenetrable...

reyjr - Yes, carrots are active memebers in the Naughty Vegetables Club...

perpetual - Lever laugh at a male carrot, you'll get less carrot...

VE said...

perpetual - Never, I meant never. If you want a lever...Vegas slots...

VE said...

subtorp77 - I don't know what to do with it either...the gnomes like it though. But what can you really say about the tastes of a garden gnome...

Dakota Bear said...

Interesting portrayal of vegetables.

I wonder what the Italian cauliflower tastes like.

subtorp77 said...

VE, so true, that...

Roy said...

See? I always said Mother Nature had a sense of humor. But I had no idea she watched YouPorn in her spare time.

Auntie, aka cagny said...

eeeK!
I'm clutching my pearls!
Did that carrot have a...
LOL

Beth said...

I have to either change grocery stores or start growing my own vegetables.
I’ve been buying the most boring vegetables ever.

leelee said...

That's Mr Potato Head alright.

HUGS!

leelee said...

oh and I love that bok choy fish!
Adorable!!

HUGS!

VE said...

dakota - I'm guessing sea shells...

subtorp77 - They're always wanting to redecorate my place. I usually just lock 'em out.

roy - Ha! Well father time is pretty old you know...she's gotta go somewhere.

auntie - Don't clutch your pearls with vinegar covered hands... they'll melt! And I have no idea what you are referring to with the carrot; obviously some of us have an active imagination! ;)

beth - Yeah...you'll have to grow them. The farmers never let that stuff go to the market. They keep 'em for themselves.

leelee - There you are! I knew I could pry you away from facebook for a second! ha ha

leelee said...

if not YOU then who?? I ask you!

HUGS!!

Serena said...

Geez, those are some very weird vegetables. Fruits? Whatever. They're just ... weird. I may never eat carrots again.:-)

cathouse teri said...

Oh shit. Did I forget to comment here? I thought I did. Now I have to think of something again. :)

Janna said...

Wow.
I wish I could carve pumpkins that well.
I've tried carving Twinkies, but somehow it's just not the same.

VE said...

leelee - You'd do it for THE BOSS!

serena - If it's weird, it usually makes its way here...

teri - Too late! ;)

janna - Twinkies should never be opened. Best to leave them in their original state...

Dee said...

i don't get the last bit of photos.....perverted? huh?

leelee said...

ok yes, you and The Boss!

HUGS!

Thinkinfyou said...

Hmmmmm,that was strange. I just got a strange craving for a red potato that came out of nowhere....it's just odd.

VE said...

dee - Why there just very sensual vegetables, that's all!

leelee - Yeah...thought so!

thinkinfyou - Funny how that works...

Kris said...

I've always found swede's sexy...

VE said...

kris - I've found sexy Swede's sexy...

Dalton J. Fox said...

I gotta agree with Sornie. That cauliflower thing definitely looks like something from another planet. I think I'll stay away from it.

VE said...

dalton - What are you talking about? Cuisine from other planets is delicious!

Dalton J. Fox said...

I don't even eat cauliflower from this planet though! So, there's no way I'll try an alien variety.

Kevin John said...

I loved the way that hand ( i assume its a female hand) is tenderly picking up the potato(e).


i'm still reporting you for posting
"suggestive sexual themes*" on your page VE. Maybe Entrecard will reconsider if i rat others out...



*their idiotic reason for denying me

Chris Wood said...

Tomatoes are nature's outlaws, no doubt there!

Maureen said...

Ohhh! LOVE the fish and penguins!

But I am disappointed you didn't use my Jack Sparrow pumpkin up there...

;)

VE said...

dalton - Me neither...I was just thinking of alien ice cream...

kevin - Ha! Entrecard... Just another pimp vehicle I'm not interested in. I'm happy with my small but awesome readership!

chris - I see you've had some dealings with tomatoes! Don't let them black mail you...

maureen - But I did get a death star pumpkin in there. Surely Star Wars anything scores points with you...

Venom said...

OMG - those erotic vegies! Maybe the vegans have something after all?

VE said...

venom - They've been "holding" out! ha ha

teeni said...

This is exactly why I always chop my vegetables with my eyes closed and earplugs in my ears. I am afraid that someday one is going to wake up and start screaming as I'm preparing it for eating.

Carla said...

Your Italian Cauliflower looks like a bad food fungus. Isn't that a thong I see under it?

VE said...

teeni - Ha! Screeming when chopping is never good...

carla - I hope not! I think it's just something to avoid touching it when you pick it up...

tony said...

Arhhhh !!!!I just ate mashed potato before visiting!!!!!!!

VE said...

tony - Boy...hope it wasn't red potatoes! ha ha

Starrlight said...

That Italian cauliflower looks like a head peice from some vintage Star Trek episode. I do love the Jack pumpkin though =)

VE said...

starrlight - Ha! That cauliflower would fit in well with Star Trek. Maybe it could be like Tribbles where it keeps replicating...

Uncivil said...

I always carry that potatoe on the bottom left when i'm wearing me kilt!

VE said...

uncivil - Too much information...