Sunday, May 24, 2009

Junk Drawer Readings

A bunch of miscellaneous today…straight from VE’s brain…

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Have you seen those elevated upside-down tomato gardens? They grown down instead of up. It’s a good idea. Why fight gravity? They’re supposedly much easier to maintain.

In the same spirit, I’m working on patenting transparent soil. It’ll be revolutionary! Imagine, you can elevate your carrots and potato plants into beds and then use my transparent soil and actually SEE when they are ready for harvest. That way you don’t have to guess and pull out some pre-mature potato out of the ground that looks some kind of deformed nut or something.

Why if all the Earth had my transparent dirt you’d be able to look straight down (with an impossibly powerful telescope) and look up girls dresses in China. Yeah…I’m that juvenile…

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You know, Guitar Hero only has a small window of opportunity out there. Let’s face it, there are only so many guitar songs that will be interesting. Eventually it’s going to end up as:

GUITAR HERO 28 – Featuring the hits from Kenny G., Liberace Yo Yo Ma and Billy Joel!

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What if real life were like PCs? You know; there’s always an upgrade or an improved something. Like memory. We went from 8K to 16K to 32K to 64K and on and on until we were up to 1Gig then 2 Gig etc.

So how come Gold isn’t like that? First there was 14 carat, then 18 carat, then 24 carat. But where is 48 carat? 96 carat? 128 carat? 256 carat? I mean we should up to 20 Gig carat by now; Gold has been around for awhile. Come on!

40 comments:

The Incredible Woody said...

I overheard a guy talking about playing a Metallica song, saying it was impossible - the only way to play it was to get a second person to play too, etc.

It was just after a Metallica show. Felt sorry for what an idiot he was and for the fact that he didn't know what an idiot he was!

Beth said...

I'd rather be a Mac - no viruses (yet) and fewer crashes.

Quirkyloon said...

OMGawsh. VE? My husband the All Things Compost no. 1 fan, has just rigged his own upside down tomato planter.

I kid you not.

I know. I feel sorry for me too.

heh heh

VE said...

incredible woody - Yeah, my son is all distraught because "Dragonslayer" on Guitar Hero has the song "Through the Fire and Flame" and it's practically impossible to play on Expert and now he finds out that not only can they not play it in concert but one of the parts is actually where the guitar broke a string during recording. He's calling them cheaters now...

beth - As in Big Mac? ;)

quirkyloon - Oh no!!! This is a sure sign you're in hell. Don't get that loan from Satan now...

Elizabeth said...

I played Guitar Hero for the first time at a friends the other day. I didn't know it was a compitition! And you can get booed off stage! Our friends we're very good at it, but my husband and I sucked. We got booed off quite a bit. :(

ReformingGeek said...

You are like a PC, VE. You obviously have a randomize button and someone pushed it and out popped this post.

I love the idea of transparent dirt.

Megan said...

But I don't want to look up anyone's skirt...

gab said...

I am so way outta the loop....Guitar hero what the heck is that? a game for your computer? No a game for your tv my grandson just told me and he says he loves it and wants it. Another wait till your birthday/christmas. See through dirt yep I kinda like that but does that mean you will see all the icky bugs? And who the heck wants to see all the way to china? If I wanted to see china I'd go to china. But of course being a woman(snicker) I like the carat getting bigger,and what would make that all the more better to have is HUGH rubies. sigh I can only wish.

Hit 40 said...

Your on beer #? I would guess 8?

Very random!!

Maureen said...

I like carrots.

Oh, "carats"!

Nevermind.

VE said...

elizabeth - Yes, it is quite humbling to get booed off stage, isn't it?

reforminggeek - I just wish that person would stop pushing the random button so fequently...

megan - Not even that hawt Scottish guy in the kilt?

gab - Pretend you've never heard of Guitar hero and rock band...you'll save hundreds!

hit40 - Does it scare you that I'm allergic to beer?

maureen - I probably have more carrots than most of my readers combined because I juice about 5 of them every morning (along with 3 other veggies and 6 different fruits). Yum!

Ronda Laveen said...

You know, there are a group of people who call themselves "Breatharians." They exist on only air, no food, an invisible smorgasbord, if you will. I think your invisible soil is extremely marketable. So far that is an untapped market. They aren't spending any $ on nutrition so you could just add some kind of energy boost to it and make lots of money from nothin.'

Gladys said...

If soil is invisible how will you know when to empty the vacuum?

Janna said...

I'm still waiting for the Guitar Hero version #45,892, with Yanni, John Tesh, and William Shatner's version of "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds".

Megan said...

Where?

Alex L said...

I think it moves onto parsnips after carrots in the realms of gold quality.

lime said...

i'm with beth. in fact i think i am a mac, the old imac we have in fact. i'm old and slow but i keep on chugging along reliably.

freetheunicorns said...

I can't wait to play Piano Man on Rock Band.

Quickroute said...

I wish I had an SD card slot for my brain - I might actually remember something

Jaime said...

i could never get into guitar hero or rock band.

um...what is with that guy's hat?

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I like your invisible soil idea except I don't think I want to be able to see all of the creepy crawlies in the soil.

By girls dresses, I hope you actually mean women's.

What happens when the golds all pretty much been used up in the world? Maybe we'll all be wearing .02 carat gold.

Jacki said...

Why do you want to have transparent soil when you can look at this blog....

http://pantsdown-skirtup.blogspot.com/

VE said...

ronda - Breatharians...it takes my breath away to even ponder them...

gladys - When the engine starts smoking...

janna - Sweet! And in the final challenge they all play together!
If you're still alive in the room when that happens...you win!!!

megan - They're out there...

alex - Yes, parsnips are the pinnacle! It's a little known fact...

lime - Just don't be a big mac...

freetheunicorns - I know, I know. I mean let's face it...Davey is still in the Navy...and probably will be for life...

quickroute - Nah...you'll still be diverted but with much larger capacity for diversion...

jaime - Well...you'd actually have to animate to really get into Guitar hero...

perpetual - I know...we'll make the bugs invisible too. Oh wait, that might not be so good should be crawl up on you. Never mind...

jacki - Well...you've solved that need! ;)

Candie Bracci said...

Uh??LOL :)

yellojkt said...

You would have to have really good eyesight to see up the dresses of girls in China even if dirt were transparent.

VE said...

candi - I say that very same thing quite often...

yellojkt - No, I have special hummel teleccope technology...

Dalton J. Fox said...

I'd rock out to some Kenny G. on Guitar Hero. Can't wait til that version is released.

VE said...

dalton - Just wait until the Christmas version is out!

subtorp77 said...

LOL "Guitar Hero 28"..hey wait a minnit!...

VE said...

subtorp77 - And imagine what is on Guitar Hero 29? The best of Kids Bop...

subtorp77 said...

Ach! What's next? The Hanson Brothers? Aaaaaahhhhhh! The horror!

Wow said...

I am an EXPERT in guitar hero. They've already done Mozart on guitar so why not try them all.

VE said...

subtorp77 - We'll bring them together with the Jonas Brothers and Britney Spears. It only gets worse...

wow - I would think many of the classicals would be hard to play...and probably suck playing too.

Alien Humor said...

Would you have see through lava too? Isn't the core of the earth lava?

VE said...

alien - We're ignoring those facts...

leelee said...

Do you know anyone who has used those upside down tomato stands? I would try it, but I think I should move to a condo with a balcony first...after all I have a big backyard..seems like cheating.

HUGS!

Anne said...

wouldn't you feature billy joel in "piano hero?"

VE said...

leelee - Nobody at all! I think they're just an urban legend...

anne - I sure would! And Elton John, and the guy from the Doors, and Liberace...ok, maybe not him, but definitely the others.

Anonymous said...

Guitar Hero rocks

VE said...

anon - Don't forget roll...