Thursday, May 28, 2009

Who in the Hell Actually Puts a Suit in a Suitcase?

Today’s Theme Thursday is SUITCASE. Easy, I can write funny about anything. Ok, where to start. How about this: How many people actually PUT a suit in their suitcase? Forget it. They have special bags for that. You put it in a suitcase and you won’t be able to wear it without looking like Wrinklyman (forget about it…I already have the superhero name trademarked).
But let’s not stress over the name of them. There’s pretty much nothing right about suitcases. The reason you’re paying extra for overweight luggage these days? It’s probably because your suitcase itself weighs 45 pounds leaving you just enough left over to put in a pair of underwear (women can fit in about 22 pair of thong underwear for the same weight as one male tighty whitey pair).

When you check them, they tag them for their next destination…ie…anyplace but where you want it to end up. If you fly a lot, don’t leave the old tags on there. This isn’t like skiing where you have to have all your trips hanging off your jacket like some idiot saying “look at me…I’ve been to the mountain 12 times this year and was too dumb to buy a season pass.” No, if you leave them on your luggage might end up even further lost than they would normally lose it.

I used to take carryon all the time. I once packed for a 17 day work trip to Taiwan into a single suitcase that fit into the overhead as carryon. Of course it is impossible with all their safety restrictions to do that anymore. Now I just check it in like everyone else and waste an extra 30 minutes at the baggage carousel looking for my black suitcase in a sea of black suitcases.
Of course it is embarrassing kicking some guy's ass over a suitcase I think is mine that he’s walking away with only to find out it wasn’t. Sure, it was a good feeling to finally kick somebody’s ass and redeem myself from that unfortunate bully event back in 7th grade but beyond that it's just not a good idea.
One trick I learned whilst I was doing the carryon routine was that here they allowed two bags but in some countries they only allowed one. So when I went up to the counter to get my boarding pass I’d strategically leave one piece of luggage sitting not with me but not too far away. That way, I could get through the manic check-in police and actually get my boarding pass without being forced to check them. Once passed them; I was free and clear and nobody ever said a word.
Another time I lost my physical ticket and had to purchase a second one for the same flight. They actually caught me with my bag and made me check it. Their argument for making me check the bag was that they didn’t have enough space in the overhead compartments for my bag. I tried to explain that I should have the space since I had already purchase two tickets for the flight and the fact that there is only one of me they should have the room. I might have well been explaining Quantum Mechanics to a garden hose though.

63 comments:

Ronda Laveen said...

Garden hoses love Quantum Mechanics, mine just told me so. That sure is some high paid hooker holding that see through suit case.

Baino said...

Made the mistake of not removing Clare's Canadian tag from one of our wheelie cases recently and every homeless person in Melbourne targetted us for $1 . .cost me $15 to go from one end of Bourke street to the other before I caught on!

Brian Miller said...

that stack of luggage is massive...the guy with one case walking by, it's his wifes luggage. seriously. : )

Nessa said...

Since they charge extra for checked luggage it is cheaper to buy your wardrobe at your destination, then donate before going home. No suitcase needed.

Mrsupole said...

I have seen those "Space Saver" bags for traveling, the ones that you vacuum all the air out and the things inside shrink. The only thing is that on your return trip you need to make sure you have access to a vacuum. Otherwise you need to ship things home.

Those are some neat suitcase experiences you have had. And I agree with you that they should have let you use the extra space that would of come with two ticket holders. It was probably too complicated for that person's brain abilities.

Great post.

God bless.

The Incredible Woody said...

On our recent vacation, our bag was fine on the outgoing flight. Somehow for the inbound flight, our stuff gained weight - like 14 pounds overweight. I didn't realized dirty clothes were so much heavier!

subtorp77 said...

@Baino, so that's what that was about!

VE, almost ended up with that baggage cart pic! The honour is yours. And that's about what my car looked like, when we got back from the trip. Gotta pack it light for all the other junk I'll end up brining back, yes?

Quirkyloon said...

*rubs eyes*

VE are you messin' with my mind? I could have sworn I already read this post and commented on it! Yet my original comment is not here.

Have I entered the Twilight Zone?

Oh yeah, funny post, but I can't shake the dejavu feeling!

Maureen said...

I no longer have to worry about picking up the wrong suitcase on the airport carousel. I bought a set of purple suitcases. Yep. Purple. Not an eye-bleeding shade, but purple enough to spot easily among the sea of black ones.

lime said...

hey, where'd my comment go. did one of those damn bag inspectors riffle through here and toss it out?

ReformingGeek said...

Hey, at least thong underwear would be easy to wash in the sink....so you only need one or two pair, right?

I'm with you on the carry-on. I went to a yoga convention last year in Minnesota. I had my carry-on, a backpack, and my mat. It's yoga clothes and a pair of jeans, running clothes and shoes. How hard was that? I encountered a lady with 2 medium-sized roll-around bags for the same convention. Amazing.

Roy Scribner said...

I've been through that airport with the stack-of-luggage sculpture but, since I rarely know which one I'm in when I'm actually there, I don't remember where it was.

Wings said...

It is interesting to see the things people do attempt to bring on board as "carry on". Cool post & pics!

VE said...

ronda - Yes...I had my garden hose do all my advanced mathematics through school too...

baino - Oh no, not beggars in Australia too! Is nowhere safe? Actually...I never saw a single one in Belize.

brian - Ha! Yes, that looks like what she might bring as luggage, huh? Just shop for new stuff...

nessa - Ha! Good idea. Or, you can be like my teenage son and just sleep and wear the same clothes every.single.day

mrsupole - Finally...somebody else that understands the whole two ticket one luggage concept. Thank you!!!

incredible woody - Must have been all those chips you accidentally brought home...

subtorp77 - Yeah, that's the problem I had with packing light and small for carry on in the early days; I didn't have much room for crap on the way back. Not that that is a bad thing...

quirky - You better see the shrink! Ha! No, I messed up...I'll be posting the original comments (I found them) as psuedo yourselves soon). Actually, if you want to keep up on the blog roll, you need to visit the post below this one.

maureen - Good for you! But now you have no excuses for beating up people at the airport...

lime - I'll get them back. I had my posts all out of order. All will be better soon. In the meantime "I will say the only words I know that you'll understand..." Bwahahahaha

reforminggeek - What? You forgot the worlds largest blow dryer, an arsenal of makeup, your cleaning supplies and who knows what else!

VE said...

roy - How'd you get in the luggage and through in airport? I never make it through customs when I get in the luggage...

wings - Yes...apparently carry on is a subjective term...

Marianna said...

Hmmm one time I left my 2nd suitcase with a friend while checking in lol

Happy TT!

gab said...

The way I pack I would need 30 bags or more.......the way Mr. Gab packs takes the same stuff outta said 30 bags and gets it into 3 bags ;-)

love the pics!

Anne said...

be careful with your two carry-on trick, i've seen gate attendants count the number of bags people have as they are about to walk down the jet-way.

Quirkyloon said...

Are you sure you don't have a doppelganger?

Might clear up some of this, er, confusion.

heh heh

Free the Unicorns said...

Nowadays, I just wear all the clothes I want to take on vacation while traveling. No checking bags, no stupid fees and no waiting. Oh yeah.

Jacki said...

Was this before or after they started charging $100 to check in your luggage?

Lime said...

i remember once upon a time when flying used to be almost relaxing instead of feeling like cattle being herded to slaughter.

Candie Bracci said...

LOL,so funny!

monica said...

Nothing like a good argument with the "I'm in Absolute Power and I Love It" persons in an airport...:o)

VE said...

marianna - But how did you answer the gate persons question of "Has your luggage been in your possession the entire time?" without cracking up in front of that person?

gab - Sounds like a good yin-yang sort of teamwork thing...

VE said...

These next comment returns were the original comments on this post before I deleted the post and then resubmitted it on the proper day.

anne - Yeah...I had worried about that but never got caught. Now I can't do carry on overseas anyway so it's all history...

quirky - Doppleganger? Why I've never been in any gang...

freetheunicorns - Yeah, but it is still a bitch to remove all of your belts through security...

jacki - Yeah...that would be before. They've got you now. They have enough rules to make it impossible to carry on which freed them up to charge for luggage.

lime - Me too...and I used to make every single flight back then.

candie - Sort of makes you want to stay home, huh?

monica - Do they seek out those type of people? Because you're right, they're all over the airport...

The Clever Pup said...

Goodness gracious I can't believe some of those pictures.

Elizabeth said...

I know I can never go anywhere whithout my exercise bike. Thank goodness it folds up into it's own suitcase!! I even take it with me to the graociery store. That way if I get caught in a long line I just whip it out and start working out!
;)

VE said...

clever pup - It's always something, isn't it?

elizabeth - Ha! That's good planning!

Poetikat said...

My father was in the British Army and he taught me how to pack. "Into the corners. Lay everything flat." I can pack my entire closet in one bag. It's a bugger if Customs decides to rifle through though.

Great photos. You ARE funny!

Kat

leelee said...

Everytime I wait for my baggage, I sing (to myself) "I'm at the car park, the airport, the baggage carousel...." and one time the guy standing next to me, chimed right in in a lower octave "The people keep on crowding" and I said in a slightly higher octave "I'm wishing I was well"

then we all sang together..."tempted by a fruit of another...tmepted but the truth is discovered...whats been going on..now that you have gone..."

ok well you get the idea...but really I always sing that line...to myself.

HUGS!

PS: I think we should all call the parking lot..the car park...I like it!

VE said...

poetikat - Then he taught you right. That's how I learned too...in the military. I could do the same!

leelee - Ha! That's hilarious. Now you have that song stuck in my head...thanks! ps - I don't know about a car park...my SUV would just try and hog the slide...

Megan said...

How did you get that surveillance photo of me? I was promised they would never be leaked!

leelee said...

ha ha car park...ha ha hog the slide...too funny!

VE said...

megan - I have ways...and you realize green dresses are cruel. Well, Bare Naked Ladies sang so... and speaking of bare naked ladies...ah, never mind...

leelee - You knew I'd be messin' with ya...I don't know what I'm doing inside though...it's 82 and perfect here in Portland!

California Girl said...

That comment about leaving old tags on because "...Iwas too dumb to buy a season pass" is too funny. I live in a ski resort area and that is a true statement!

I can also relate to "kicking someone's ass" which is why I bought a set of luggage I can recognize now. Just too tempting otherwise.

I lost my boarding pass on this recent trip too and they made me check my bag and I had to tip the porter even though he wanted extra money for my husband's 4lb over the limit bag. We moved the extra weight into my already packed to the gills smaller suitcase.

leelee said...

GO OUT AND PLAY!

hugs!

VE said...

california girl - Ha...I knew somebody would pick up on that ski comment. So true...I also feel your misery on the luggage thing. Been there...I have an ultralight suitcase now so not a lot of wasted weight right from the start.

leelee - OK! I'm headed for a hike...

Gladys said...

I always get seated next to the guy who has 6 bags all of which are much too big for the overhead bin. He then proceeds to try and stuff them under the seat in front of him and under my feet, seat and basically on top of me. Yes, I'm blessed that way.

VE said...

Maybe you should charge him for your under-the-seat space...

Jaime said...

love the baby in the suitcase! we know a guy who actually thought you were supposed to put his baby inside the diaper bag... some people just shouldn't be allowed to reproduce

Serena said...

A suit in a suitcase is just begging for trouble. And trying the baby trick would probably be good for at least one night in jail.:)

Leah said...

This is wonderfully funny. I loved every single pic.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

Underwear? Does anyone really still wear them?

VE said...

jaime - Maybe we should license people as parents first...

serena - One night in jail...that's one less night of cooking...woohoo

leah - Well good...because if you'd said all but one then I'd be racking my brain trying to determine which one...

VE said...

arizona - Well I do...briefs...I need the control! ;)

Gladys said...

V.E. if you would stop eating Baked Lays you wouldn't have anal leakage. Well that and eat fat and take Alli.

Sandra Leigh said...

Great post. The only time my luggage has ever gone missing was the time I had bought lots of frozen Mexican treats (enchiladas, tamales, etc.) and cchecked them. Very silly of me. By the time my luggage found me, I had to dump the lot.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I've never brought a suit in a suitcase. I do however always make sure to bring Ms. Vicki my button and pin clad travelling underwear.

VE said...

gladys - Baked lays? Now if I could get baked and laid...

sandra - Ha! That sounds very bad!

perpetual - Hmmm...I suspect a story is behind that...

Janna said...

And here I thought "Wrinklyman" was something that happened when guys went skinny dipping in ice cold water.

Maybe I'm thinking of "Shrinkage-man".

VE said...

janna - Yes...I would say that is Shrinkage-Man. They're probably cousins though...

The Silver Fox said...

52 comments? I don't have time to read 'em all, so if my own comment echoes something said previously... tough.

There's a persistent urban legend that says that the last person who actually put a suit in a suitcase was the same person who stored gloves in his car's glove compartment.

VE said...

silver fox - Pay no attention to the comment numbers; everyone knows I read and respond to them all! That a good call out! Nicely done...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

http://perpetualchocoholic.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html

I have a pair of underwear that travel around the world in my place with my husband or whomever will take them. Sad, but true.

Alex L said...

' I tried to explain that I should have the space since I had already purchase two tickets for the flight and the fact that there is only one of me they should have the room.'

Apart from the fact that they oversold the flight anyway, so at least eighteen people had paid for the same seat!

Chris Wood said...

See through money suitcase .... love it.

reyjr said...

hahaha! ur right! i would never put a suit in a suitcase. :p

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Ok, I gotta check this out...

alex - How true is that? I know people that plan their itinerary around getting the free offers when they overcrowd. They always accept them so they don't have to pay for a flight the next time. It adds a day to their itineraries but saves on costs if you have the time.

chris - You don't miss anything, do you?

reyjr - Me neither...mostly because I don't even own one though...

Carla said...

You can never have too many pairs of underwear. Yah, I'm waiting for you to prove me wrong.

VE said...

carla - Well you might get more pairs in but we men can wear ours front side then back side and then both ways inside out! ha ha

Dalton J. Fox said...

I'm now curious as to why it's a "suitcase" since obviously no one would use it to carry a suit. I'm too lazy to google it right now though.

And while you were kicking one dude's ass for taking what wasn't your suitcase, was someone else getting away with your actual one? Yeah. I'd be embarrassed too.

VE said...

dalton - Fortunately my suitcase was going round and round. Nobody wanted my crap...