Thursday, May 14, 2009

Whoops!

Today’s Theme Thursday is “WHOOPS”. Hmmm.....where shall we go with that?

I could talk about five of the dumbest verbal “whoops” that celebrities have made:

1. “If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him."

------- DREW BARRYMORE


2. "I think that the film 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
------- ALICIA SILVERSTONE


3. "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
------- BROOKE SHIELDS


4. "I love kids. I was a kid myself, once."
------- TOM CRUISE


5. "It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people."
------- AXL ROSE

I could shock you with five “whoops” images that need no commenting (even though I cannot resist adding my own stupid comments to them anyway):











I could share/re-share five “whoops” things I have done

1. Parking in one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Oakland to read a map and having a street gang try and jack my car

2. Try to carry on a meat clever passed security and onto the plane

3. Take a stroll down the city streets during a super-typhoon

4. Wipe my ass with poison oak

5. Snap off my manual stick shift while I am driving

But maybe we’ll just leave it with images that reflect today’s reality whoops:


60 comments:

Ronda Laveen said...

Re: photo "Whoops #4" WTFA...now I know why you wear diapers.

That Axl Rose, what a hoot!

Get a meat cleaver past security? I couldn't even get my brand new, pump bottle of Chi hair smoother past security. I know the (rhymes with witch) went over to the trash can after I boarded, found the bottle and took it home. Why? Because she said, "I could really use some of this at home."

Jaime said...

celebrities say the stupidest things. hysterical, but stupid. i wonder if hubby would still be so obsessed with drew barrymore if he knew she sounded so damn dumb when all her lines aren't scripted.

Deb said...

Those Hollyweirdos are SO freakin' smart! There should be a Book of Wisdom with Drew on the cover.

Loved the photos, especially the genius on the bike who thought an umbrella would keep him dry despite the monsoon and back splash from his own rear wheel.

Chris Eldin said...

Sorry I haven't been here in a while. I feel like I have my life on a better schedule so I can make time to cruise blogs...

The first part is obviously hysterical.

But the photos in the second part...you know, I still get the sense a lot of us are in denial about the economy, and I feel the news coverage, beyond the numbers, isn't focusing on the human aspect/toll of what's going on. But I'm hoping things can flatten out and start to improve. What are your thoughts?

Brian Miller said...

too much. living on inside your cat...ha. i wonder whats between the ears. great pics...and captions...lol.

Chris Wood said...

I always knew Axl Rose was a reasonable, sensitive guy.

Candie Bracci said...

SO FUNNY!!ROFL!
How many craps celebrities can say!LOL

moooooog35 said...

I once shut my car off while driving on the highway at 55 mph.

This immediately locked my steering wheel to the right...

...shooting me off the highway and straight into a snowbank.

The Chevy Chevette was a wondrous machine.

Jacki said...

As Peter always says, models and actresses should just keep their mouths shut and just look pretty. Otherwise, it ruins it for him.

Loved all the whoops!

VE said...

ronda - Yeah, the meat clever. They made me check it. WTF!!!! ;)

jaime - Men don't care...they just want sex!

ReformingGeek said...

Ah, poor Brooke. It was probably post-partum or just brain fog. I would know and if I knew that I know....er.....what was this post about?

I give up. I'm going back to bed now.

;-)

VE said...

deb - Yeah, he probably went from bike to wheelchair after that one

chris eldin - Thoughts regarding the economy? I think I'll have a fruity rum drink and move to New Zealand...

brian - I think we can safely say that her cat wears the pants in that household realtionship

chris - You ghost wrote that quote for Axl, didn't you?

candie - Well it's hard to be intelligent when you're blabbering non-stop in front of cameras.

moooooog35 - Ah...the old safety feature designed to get the dufus who shut his car off while driving off of the road as quickly as possible to avoid killing innocent children. Gotta love those car engineers. The think of everything! ;)

jacki - Yeah, the weird thing is that in my fantasies, none of those actresses or super models are ever talking!

Wings said...

Wow - you certainly hit the gamut of "whoops" there, nice!

VE said...

reforminggeek - Maybe it was brain frog. She must obviously have the brain of a frog...

VE said...

wings - The gnomes require a minimum of gamuts per post...

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

There's nothing like a good bad quote.

lime said...

i am so NOT sharing my personal whoopses because i'd never hear the end of them from you.

but poison oak? dude? wtf? really?

Roy Scribner said...

Oak-town - whoops! I usually hit about half of the Raiders home games (whoops!) and nobody got shot at a game last year. Weird.

Kurt said...

You were lucky not to get arrested with that meat cleaver. Although why would they arrest a meat cleaver?

Beth said...

Got me thinking. If someone actually recorded or wrote down some of the statements I come out with, I'd probably be guilty of one hell of a lot of "WHOOPSs." (What is the plural of whoops???)

VE said...

prefers - Except a good celebrity arrest or murder that is...

lime - Oh, come on! Like I'd remember. Hey...I've got this neat song to sing..."Michelle, my belle..."

roy - If nobody got shot they're obviously slacking...or they've moved to Pleasant Hills or something

kurt - You know...arresting meat clevers is just plain profiling!

beth - WE WANT TO KNOW! WE WANT TO KNOW (think bloggers with pickets outside your house)...

Holly said...

The quotes are fantastic....what were they thinking!!!?

Quirkyloon said...

Very funny post VE. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am surprised that you wiped your butt with poison oak!

So don't be surprised that I can't stop laughing at what must have been a royal pain in the ass!

heh heh

Elizabeth said...

Tom Cruise was a kid once?? I thought he was beamed to this planet when he was 21 for Risky Business.

Mrsupole said...

Boy I think you got a lot of whoops covered her. I like most of them, the celebritity ones a lot, oh heck I like them all.

Good job,
God bless.

VE said...

Holly - You nailed it! They weren't thinking

quirky - The poison oak tale is long story. It'll be in my book!

elizabeth - The real risky business was letting him get famous with that movie in the first place...

mrsupole - Oh sure, be wishy-washy about them. Now I have to suffer wondering which ones you were only mildly amused with...

Ronda Laveen said...

Will your book be one of those "Humor for the John," books?

Leah said...

This is truly a funny post; I loved it.

Although I have to say that Alicia Silverstone, in her incredibly inarticulate way, may have hit on a deep truth about humor. How scary is that!

Liza said...

LOL...hahahahhaahhahaaaaaaa!!!!!You've got my number one for best TT post! WTFA had me on the floor and I'm afraid of flying, too!

subtorp77 said...

Well done VE! I can relate to the Army tank pic, tho' 'twas a Humvee that a gold-brick got stuck in the swamp. Then to come asking us to clean it? WHOOPS! Here's your pail and scrub brush, sir! Have fun! And one of my old rangers didn't break the shifter; the whole damn thing popped out of the trans! OOPS!

Too, mom remembers gong for a walk in the midst of a bad hurricane( only to get caught and sent back inside, by a cop )...silly.

Tom said...

You should write a book on this subject...you'de make a million.

VE said...

ronda - Pretty much. It'll be individual humorously told stories of the ridiculous things that have happened to me (or I have initiated) during my travels and adventures. A little like the blog but all personal stories. Each one is a separate event in the time of my life and told from a humorous point of view. The stories won't be sequential. Think of it as "VE telling his campfire stories that are true"

leah - Thanks. And if there is going to be any "hit on" involved with Alicia, it should be on the head!

liza - Yeah, I'm No 1!!! Wait...it's the first TT you read, isn't it? Damn...

subtorp77 - Sounds like you can personally relate to the Humvee! Classic.

Tom - Funny you should say that. I am!

Megan said...

O-Town! That almost happened to me once.

freetheunicorns said...

I love stupid ass celeb quotes. It just goes to show, you don't have to be intelligent to make it in Hollywood.

Baino said...

Nice that you balanced stupid women's comments with silly men's actions! Excellent as always, you made my morning! (I received one of those 'small' packages and it's my last day at work today)

Jeff said...

To paraphrase a wise actress... "I think that the Axl Rose is very deep."

Notice he's not referring to a monogamous relationship, but a "one-on-one." For a guy that's used to being with 3 or 4 girls at a time, that IS tough.

Marianna said...

Really? All these people said all those...things! Whoops indeed!

Great TT post
xoxo

Serena said...

Whole lotta whoopsing going on.

VE said...

megan - That's not good! What were you doing there?

freetheunicorns - They probably like you better there if you aren't. More money for them

baino - Oh man, that's a bummer about your small package (maybe I should rephrase that). Sorry to hear about your layoff.

jeff - Spoken like a true musician!

marianna - Of course I wasn't there for all of them, but...yeah!

serena - It seems contageous. Better alert the media!

Dalton J. Fox said...

So, Drew Barrymore wants to be turned into cat shit when she dies?

And Tom Cruise lies. Scientologists were never kids. Were they?

That motorcycle/car hybrid looks like it might've hurt.

And, VE, you should've used poison ivy, not poison oak.

Gladys said...

What about a picture of Manny? I mean that is only a 7 million dollar whoops but still....

The rules say no performance enhancing drugs...He thought they said perfomance enchanting drugs so it was ok.

The Silver Fox said...

Good thing you stuck to dumb quotes from celebs... If you'd used dumb quotes from politicians, your post would've been even longer than some of mine!

Janna said...

Thoughts:
1. Elizabeth stole my Tom Cruise comment.

2. Don't forget the "woops" of the clam-chowder-milkshake-omelet incident.

3. Is there any chance "snapped off my manual stick shift" is a euphemism?

Sandra Leigh said...

I love those celebrity whoopses, especially Alicia Silverstone's.

VE said...

dalton - It's ironic isn't it? Drew will go from ashes sitting in a box to cat food, to cat shit sitting in a box...

gladys - Ha! Drug enchanting indeed. I think it enchanted the wrong way. You can add Michael Vick to the sports whoops too...

sandra - It's deep, isn't it?

VE said...

silver fox - There are people that spend careers making fun of politician's dumb quotes

janna - 1. She does that 2. Yeah...I'm trying to put it past me. 3. Oh no! Actually, I had to use a screw driver to shift my car after that

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Pretty much every time I open my mouth an whoops comes out.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I love men. I was once a man, myself.....

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Of course the gnomes were quite amused with your comment...they think you should SHUT UP then. I, however, don't tend to agree with them which is why they are locked in the garden shed much of the time.

arizona - You were a man? Does your husband know this?

yellojkt said...

That is a lot of Whoops! I do like the car/motorcycle hybird. They just need to work on getting rid of the sharp edges.

A.Decker said...

I was chuckling all the way down. Then you had to go and leave us with those last five.
1.Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! Won't get to touch a penny of it 'til...what, about 2159?
2.Does anybody remember anything about Bill Clinton besides that he got his thang wet in the oval office!?
3.I'm a life-long renter. Wouldn't now be a good time to buy? Or wait a little longer?
4.I wish I had a layoff notice.
5.A good burn-off can be revitalizing for the continuation of a forest.

Somehow I feel I may have revealed a bit too much. (Wh)oops?

VE said...

yellojkt - That's always the challenge, isn't it?

A.Decker - I remember Bill's presidency. Despite all his antics, he did a great job as President. He actually lowered the defecit. He did a lot for environmentalists (and then Bush undid them and made it worse). He had a strong international presence.

tony said...

I Never Realised TOM CRUISE was Soooo Deep!

gab said...

Ok let start with the celeb's whoops-OMG where the hell have I been that I never heard these celeb's say this crap? and I cant believe that that stuff came outta their mouths. Now I could see me saying it........ maybe! cause Ive been known to say stuff like that,insert foot into mouth!
The pics all I can say other than OMG! is the plane one look at the bright side, at least no one was killed. The truck one well, Mr Gab said he has actually seen folks who are truckers who have actually had something like that happen. He says its easier than you think to happen if your not loading with a loader that you drive onto the truck yourself(or someone whose suppose to be quailified to do so)although he has seen guys go through the other end with those as well. The motorcycle in the side of the car...who the hell would have thought a motorcycle could do that much damage to a car? and as for your whoops live and learn I guess. Hoping you did learn?

VE said...

tony - Ha! I does boggle the mind to fathom he was ever mature enough to be a kid!

gab - Those celebs...to be a bit fair to them; it is hard to have a camera stuck in your fact all the time recording your every word. Eventually even the best say something stupid. Of course, you see that the smartest don't stick their face in the camera nearly as much. On the motercycle pic, I would guess that it was doing a REALLY high speed. Anything going that fast will do that kind of damage. Also...with the way they build cars these days with all that light plastic material...I can see that...I just hope I never do though.

thevinylvillage said...

good grief, I cant believe a motorcycle did that to a car!

VE said...

vinylvillage - Imagine how fast that motorcyle was going to do that!

hindleyite said...

Whoa, is the first one real or Photoshopped?

Maureen said...

That guy on the bike needed the umbrella from the previous post. That would have been even funnier!!!

VE said...

hindleyite - If it is photoshopped, they are REALLY good.

maureen - That WOULD have been funny too...