Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Let's Go Right Down into the Gutter

Ok, am I the only one that thinks they seriously need to rename these? I mean, come on, manholes? You’re not getting me down there! Where did this name come from in the first place? It’s just way too perverse.

I don’t need a civil engineering job that has a bumper sticker that says “City Construction Workers Do it Manholes!” I thought we got rid of all the gender specific nomenclature already? A postman is now a postal worker. A whore house is now an escort service. Stewardesses are now flight attendants. It only leaves this one item left. And it needs a rename the most!

They couldn’t even come up with anything better to cap the manhole except to use a manhole cover!

When I think of a manhole cover (and I don’t think of them) it’s usually underwear. Those are manhole covers! Not some 125lb round shield that even Achilles couldn’t carry around. Yeah, try strapping one of those street manhole covers to your butt and walking around the streets all day. I guarantee you'll be sore (and stared at). Plus, you'd just have to take it off at airport security anyway. No, those manhole covers are not in any way practical!

But while I have you right down in the gutter, let me share this image with you too.

See, you went there too! I’m just saying that any manhole that goes that deep needs to be repaired! They have male enhancement products they’re selling right on prime time television. Where are the manhole shrinking medications? This one has serious problems!

You may now exit said gutter. Don’t worry…you’re mind will heal in time…

47 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Firstly, it was called a manhole cause only a man was willing to climb down it. And I think that pretty much still stands. I think the only women who have gone down those manholes are the ones who do movies and they get paid to do it.

Ain't no way in hell you are getting me down one of those manholes. No way Jose, No frickin way, No, no, no. I do not even think the Donald has enough money to get me down one of those manhole thingys. Shit, there is no way.

Yes, you cannot change some things in life. Yes it will always be a manhole.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Dang I haven't been first in a long time. I should mark this on the calender. And you still ain't getting me down that friggin manhole. Uh, I guess you got the point by now. But hey I can repair a toilet, pretty good for a girl, huh. That is as close to a manhole thingy I will every get.

Mrsupole said...

And in Second place too. OOOOhhhaaa, must be all the men are down in that friggin manhole doing manly things. What do you do in those manholes? Is it the same as a mancave? If you light a match will it explode? I just have to ask, do they have bathrooms down there or do they just go?

Okay I will stop. Well maybe.

Mrsupole said...

And thirdly, how do you get the big screen TV's down there? Where do you sit? Do you sit? Where do you keep the beers? Are there no smoking signs posted?

Stop me please.

Maxi Cane said...

That's nothing.

Next time you're told to kiss a bishop's ring, make sure you have the right meaning before you pucker up.

All the toothpaste and therapy won't scrub that memory away.

Hit 40 said...

Maxi Cane definitely one upped you. Gross!!!

I always crack up when a guy tries to think that males escorts really exist. I guess maybe??? One or two?? I have never seen one walking the streets.

moooooog35 said...

Hey...I found your class ring down here!

ReformingGeek said...

I think Hit 40 will need to check Vegas for the male escorts....

I'm just sayin'.

As for that hole, get that THANG away from me!! Not telling where it's been. Sheesh!

Roy Scribner said...

If I had a man cave it would probably look more like a man hole. Alas, with the cost of square footage in Silicon Valley, I'm more likely to end up in a man closet. I've heard it's hard to come out of those, though.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Our city council debated this very topic once believe it or not. They were thinking of other names to call manholes and their covers. I believe they decided on something, but everyone still calls them manhole covers. Our council are all mentally challenged and nobody listens to them unless they actually make a decision that matters to someone. They we argue and get it reversed.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

BTW, I think Mrsupole had too much coffee today.

Gladys said...

I used to work for an Underground Utility Company. We were always sending guys into Manholes with cameras. The order for that would be screw-em and view-em.

VE said...

mrsupole - So...you get the first spot and you might as well take the next three too! No convenience items should ever go down a manhole.

maxi cane - Not listening... nananana... Not listening

hit 40 - Try Vegas or LA...

moooooog35 - Ha! You wish...and stay out of those manholes moooooog!

reforminggeek - I'm sensing some interesting "stays at Vegas" stories that somebody isn't sharing...

roy - If you want to come out of the closet, it's ok. You're in the right area to do so... ;)

perpetual chocoholic - This is why nothing should ever be decided by committee.

perpetual chocoholic - Or too many Red Bulls...

gladys - Ha! Good one. I'll pass though...

Quirkyloon said...

VE would it be as offensive to ye if they were called, "Manlyholes?"

Ha!

Bonnie the Boss said...

Summer has been so crazy busy I have misses your gutterness! How about "that big heavy metal thing that covers the hole in the street"
Or "TBHMTTCTHITS" for short.

VE said...

quirkyloon - Oh Quirky...I find the whole concept offensive! ;)

bonnie - I like it. Confusing acryonyms are a big plus in my book! Well done...

Elizabeth said...

When I first moved to Juneau people would talk about the Glory Hole. But the only way I had heard Glory Hole used was in the pornographic sense. Well, it's the name of the local soup kitchen here. It's a mining term and Juneau used to be a big mining town. But I still giggle a little when I hear it. Because I'm just that mature.

Ronda Laveen said...

I think I saw that Manhole Strapped to Butt carry contest on the World's Strongest Man competition recently. Pretty funny.

Kurt said...

I can't believe I'm first to comment today! Wow.

subtorp77 said...

After living on a submarine for three+ years, I can say this does look like an access hatchway.

New name: Portal Entry Cover for Utility Repair( or PECUR ). What? It's better than Sewer Access Cover( SAC ). Besides, the Air Force already uses that one!

Carla said...

Well, you've left me with quite the imagery. Don't know how quickly this one will fade. I might need to get help.

VE said...

elizabeth - Why I have no idea what you are referring to! ;)

ronda - They're not too bright on that show, are they?

kurt - It's a good thing you can't believe it...because it wasn't true. Sorry. But you were in the top 20 today. That's something.

subtorp77 - Ha! Good ones. Better than "Portal Entry Necessary Into Sewer" too...

carla - Visit the trees, walk among the lake, it will all pass...

subtorp77 said...

VE, LMAO! Wonder what Ed Norton really called them?

I've also heard the term "steam cover"( if you've ever seen one of these go air-borne and hit a car...)!!

VE said...

subtorp77 - I've never actually witnessed them going air-borne other than in movies. That doesn't sound like something I need to experience first-hand either...

Nessa said...

Sounds like someone needs some preparation H.

nursemyra said...

I like Nessa's comment

The Incredible Woody said...

I'll never be able to look at manhole covers (either type) quite the same way again.

Jaime said...

manhole...because some guy got really drunk (or stoned) and thought the name sounded really funny at the time. then he had to climb down one.

Serena said...

Viewed in that context, yes! Something needs to be done about renaming manhole covers. It's just ... unseemly.:)

Angela said...

I agree, it's a little ewwy down there. How about Roach Covers? Sludge Keepers? Rat Breederies?

Megan said...

Does anyone else ever have a comment ready and then spend so much time reading the other comments that they forget their original comment?

I feel like someone hit me on the head with a...well, whatever funny acronym I had...

VE said...

nessa - Not me...it's the manhole!

nursemyra - How did I know you'd find this post!!!

incredible woody - Just pretend it is all a bad dream

jaime - I believe that...

serena - And leave it to me to point that out...

angela - Those are defnitely worthy name replacements.

megan - It's ok Megan...we know you had a doozy...

angie said...

So much to think about now......like why it never occured to me to call guys underware manhole covers...........:)

Dalton J. Fox said...

Wow, man. Never thought of this before. I guess they do need to come up with a new name for manholes. I feel dirty even typing that word anymore.

VE said...

angie - Sounds like a new brand in the making...

dalton - See how I pollute your very thoughts?

subtorp77 said...

VE, NYC and Boston seem to have a problem with them ( also with them being electrified! ). Down in Groton, Ct. I've seen them blow off from the steam line pressure, that's used there. One did quite a number on someone's under-carriage and they ahd to call for a tow. We( topside watches ) thought we were under attack!

Brian Miller said...

i am really not sure, but i think mrsu stole some of your laughs on this one...

the pic is just too much! lol.

Baino said...

Definitely ok with manhole covers . . of any sort.

Matt-Man said...

I got nothing here....nothing. I do find your stupid thought of the day pretty damn funny however. Cheers VE!!

VE said...

subtorp77 - I guess living on the west coast we've just got sewers that are a lot newer so we don't have steam and electrified stuff. We live such a boring life here apparently...

brian - She certainly wrote more than I did so I guess she deserves some

baino - Considering the alternative...I agree

matt-man - I wondered if anyone would get that...leave it to you!

zelzee said...

I will never look at men's underwear the same way ever again.....

VE said...

zelzee - Ha...I'm glad I could change your paradigm forever...

Janna said...

Well, I guess it's still a better mental image than Goatse.

(!!!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatse

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

There's a bar here in Chicago called The Manhole. In fact, its in Boystown..... Does that surprise yoU?

VE said...

janna - Nice try...you think I'll link to that? You can't make me, you can't make me...

arizona - Figures. I certainly hope you haven't been there!!!

Maureen said...

I wonder what you were like when you were a little boy.

Er, nevermind. I think I know...

VE said...

maureen - You're right...you don't want to know!