Sunday, June 21, 2009

Portland is Weird...and we like that!

Welcome back to the second part of our Humorblogger Roadtrip. If you missed the first part; just scroll on down, it is right before this one. At the end of the tour, I'll guide you either to an earlier part of the tour or where to go next if you want to follow the tour.

Ok...Portland is weird. You saw the bumper sticker. Sure, there are other cities that do the same and I’m sure most of the big cities across the USA have plenty of their fair share of weirdness too. But Portland isn’t a real big city either and it is regularly in the top 10 most desirable places to live. That’s if you read Weirder Homes and Gardens Magazine, of course.

Here are a few examples of our weirdness...
Voodoo Donuts is now famous worldwide for having extremely weird donuts. Examples include the cock and balls cream filled donut, the voodoo donut, the maple bacon bar and more.

This was the infamous 24 hour Church of Elvis. It was an odd and magical place here in Portland. Sadly, it’s no longer here but typifies some of the irreverence and oddity of Portland.

On the last Thursday of every month the Alberta neighborhood comes alive with a very folky-artsy street fair. You’ll find strange people and bicycles like this during the festivities.

“The Clown House” is one of the main centers for the Last Thursday event. It’s simply a house where a lot of unusual people live and many of them dress up as clowns and perform on these weird bikes. One of their main events is the bike jousting. Much of the time it is naked bike jousting just to take it up a notch on the weird meter.

This is an example of what you might find in front of a house should you drive by. Now I’m not saying every house is this weird, but it isn’t hard to find this sort of oddity here.

Many of the streets in the city still have the metal horse rings to tie your horse too. People have gone around and added these little horse statues to them. I have no idea why…it’s just interesting to see them there.

Finally, there are also many famous people that call or called Portland home.

Sam Elliot (oh come on…he was the cowboy in The Big Lebowski!)
Clark Gable (what?…get real…Gone with the Wind ring a bell?)
The inventor of the mouse is from Portland (no, not the rodent kind)
The guy that changed high jumping forever is from here (he flopped backwards)

And then of course we have her:
And what can I really say after that embarrassment. Here’s a postcard I once did for Oregon:

And on that note, I take you to your next step (or prior step) of your road trip journey

Prior Leg (again...go back a bit...it'll be there)
Next Leg (again...it's not there until the future...be patient)

45 comments:

subtorp77 said...

YEP! Portland, OR sure seems a weird place but....oh maple bacon donuts...where was I? Oh yes, please tell me it gets weirder? It has to, right? That "Barbie" house does seem a bit creepy....I'm just sayin', is all, wot?

lime said...

so you're saying i would be regarded as normal in oregon? in a way that appeals to me but then again i might have to ratchet up my personal weird factor just to maintain my ranking.

i totally want to go to voodoo donut after seeing an alberta street fair (or participating in it)

Mrsupole said...

VE,

If you think Portland is weird, just come to Hollywood and Portland will feel normal. That's all I can say. Oh heck come to a lot of places here or anywhere near here and you will find out what really weird is.

Oh heck, everything you just showed looks pretty damn normal compared to what we see here and I live the next county over from Hollywood. We have our own weirdness in this county too.

Oh, you people up there are so normal it is funny for you to even think you are not normal.

And I know that is not all I could say. Dang I did it again. Must of been something weird going on.

It's because those damn possums are back again. One of the baby possums was clinging to the tree just outside my front door and then another baby was walking right by my new tomatoes growing. Those damn things will start eating the tomatoes again, and I just wish those damn possums would go to hell.

I need some rat poison for those stupid things, but I gotta check if it is okay. The mother possum sits at my sliding glass door and watches me, with my cats sitting there watching her, but the possum is bigger than they are, so I can see why they stay away. Although it could be the father of the babies watching me, while they eat my tomatoes.

I needs lots of poison. Lots of poison. Lots of poison.

Can anyone tell me how to get rid of possums.....pleaseeeeeeeeeeee.

God bless.

And yes I know this is a long comment, but I figure someone here knows what to do about possums. And I know I changed subjects too, something abnormal is going on.

Candie Bracci said...

Weird pics indeed!Those donuts..dodgy!LOL

The Incredible Woody said...

Naked bike riding? Wow, talk about uncomfortable. And kinda gross!

ReformingGeek said...

I think I would fit right in as long as you put a horn on that horse and call it a unicorn.

Nice job, VE!

Quirkyloon said...

You said you are a native of Portland.

Well after this leg of the tour, that explains a lot.

What happened to those trees? Did the gnomes have the munchies?

heh heh

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

You must be proud. Wonder if I can open a Voodoo Doughnut franchise here?

VE said...

subtorp77 - Fortunately the Barbie house is on the other side of town...

lime - you want the full meal deal, don't you? Yes, voodoo and Alberta fest could be arranged!

mrsupole - Yes, I know there are a lot of weird places. Certainly I've seen my share in Hollywood, NY, and abroad. But for a such a small city, Portland seems to excel at it

candi - They're quite popular though...

incredible woody - Yeah...just don't get too excited jousting...

reforminggeek - I'm sure there's one out there

quirkyloon - Stay away from the gnomes when they have the munchies. That's my only advice...

perpetual - They get orders from all over the country. Rumor has it Brad Pitt orders the maple bacon bars...

Nessa said...

I thought the bacon donut couldn't be beat but you did it with Tanya Harding. definitely a one, two punch of weirdness.

unfinishedrambler said...

I'd so "do" (well, you know eat) that maple bacon bar. I'd be sick afterward, but I still wouldn't be able to resist. Yeah, I'm weird like that, but it looks like I'd fit in fine.

Gladys said...

Why is it sunny in all of your pictures? You aren't really in Portland are YOU?

Elizabeth said...

I asked my husband what weird thing about Portland he could think of. He said that down town has "Benson Bubblers". The idea was if there was free water available, then people wouldn't drink as much beer or liquor. I don't think it worked, but he said the drinking fountains are still down town.
He also talked about a restaurant called Hamburger Mary’s, but I'm not sure why that was weird.

Kurt said...

I like the more passive option re: Tanya

VE said...

nessa - Or looking at her now she could just sit on you...

unfinishedrambler - You're not alone...it's a very popular item.

gladys - We only take photos when the sun is out; it's too depressing otherwise...

elizabeth - I went to Benson High School so I know all about the "Benson bubblers". Yep, they are still around. And as far as Hamburger Mary's goes...my ex-wife grew up with their son and played on their softball team. He closed that place and opened a place under their last name called "Perrys" and we still go there to this day. Nothing weird or eclectic about it though. Just good eats...

kurt - Not as edge-of-your-seat riveting but could be good for a web cam you visit every few months or years to see how much mass she has added...

Ronda Laveen said...

VE: You certainly have a stylish bike riding style! And you look so gay and happy with your cowboy hat on trolling with your mattress. Loved you in that Thursday parade. I'm surprised you didn't put the gnomes on the float.

Elizabeth said...

My husband went to Benson highschool too! He graduated in 1985. Did you graduate around then? Maybe you know him?

Me-Me King said...

VE, the Voodoo Doughnut Shop and the Doll house go beyond weird...they are a little creepy.

Thanks for a great tour.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I would love to live in Portland! Such a beautiful city! Chicago sucks. Believe me.

I'll take the passive/aggressive option of lunging for the remote to change the channel whenever a blurb about Tonya Harding comes on. I'll even mutter a few obscenities under my breath. hehehe....

I love your postcard, too. Our old house was made from wood from virgin white pines from Michigan (not to be confused with the non-virgin, slutty white pines).

Janna said...

Wow.
Even after looking through all those other freaky pictures, I'm still craving the phallic donut.

Janna said...

....and I can't decide whether "Craving The Phallic Donut" would make a good name for a heavy metal album....

Alex L said...

Anywhere that could produce Sam Elliot is good enough for me.

nursemyra said...

I'm craving me a maple bacon donut too now.

do you have any weird museums in portland?

Chris Wood said...

Voodoo doughnuts? Isn't that a Hendrix song?

Matt-Man said...

Tonya is looking HAWT!! Does she do kids' parties? Cheers VE!!

Dee said...

Portland is an Odd city isn't it?

VE said...

ronda - Yes...nice try. But I have an extreme disgust of clowns and mimes. No WAY that would be me...

elizabeth - No, I was earlier (graduated 1979) but ask if he knows William (Donnie) Drake or not.

me-me king - Well I would agree with you on the barbie house...

arizona - Most people change the channel when Tanya is on. I'm glad you avoided those non-virgin slutty pines for your house. They're much more worn out...

janna - Now how could you pass up a cream filled phalic donut? Personally I go for the booby sponge cake dessert...

alex - We even have water here!

nursemyra - Lots of them. There is a lot of art in town.

chris - Well he did grown up just up the road in Washington...

matt-man - As long as you have double-door access so she can get in...then yes!

dee - Yes, I'm sure I could have gone on and on with that too

Kirsten said...

You're right. Oregon is weird. But, did you have to go and bring up Tanya Harding? I'm eating breakfast!

Roy Scribner said...

It's nice to see I'm not the only one who's into naked bike jousting.

Roy Scribner said...

btw - regarding the Tony pic, "rainbows and puppies! rainbows and puppies! rainbows..."

Anne said...

those donuts give me the heebeejeebees

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Hey! Where's Monday's post?!

VE said...

kirsten - You should know better than to visit my site while eating breakfast. You never know what you might find.

roy - I'm sure it will be an Olympic event in the future...

anne - What's not to like about a donut? They're almost as good as those poo brownies I had awhile back.

perpetual - I post Mon-Fri...however, my Monday gets posted on Sunday. That way the Fri post has two days up and the Sunday post has two days up rather than the Fri post having three full days. Clear as mud, huh?

Serena said...

I think I'd like to move to Portland. Any place that has Voodoo Doughnuts doesn't need anything else.

thevinylvillage said...

damn
Tonya looks like she hasnt been one to pass up the dick donuts.

I had no idea she had ballooned!

VE said...

serena - Good thing there are a lot of exercise oppourtunities when you have a place like that!

thevinylvillage - Yeah, she's pretty much giving Kirsty Ally a run for her money...

Jaime said...

wow...tonya harding and cock and balls cream filled donuts. what a great claim to fame for a town!

all that my town is known for is...well...nothing, actually!

VE said...

jaime - Perhaps that is a good thing not to have any claim to fames...

ettarose said...

Great job VE. You made some of us want to go there. I have always heard good things about Oregon, but I am afraid you blew it with that Harding thing.

VE said...

ettarose - She's enough to scare away native Oregonians!

Annie Ha said...

Mmmm, bacon....

Carla said...

Yep, you've convinced me...and I've seen some weird stuff.

VE said...

annie ha - I haven't heard from you for awhile. Should have known bacon would draw you out...

carla - Weird is as weird does...

Maureen said...

Holy crap, Tanya has NOT aged well...

Anonymous said...

Portland reminds me of 10th grade. A bunch of people who have no clue who they are, trying desperately to be different, and ending up all the same.