Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Reconsider Everything

Time to reconsider everything! That’s the buzz word of the day “reconsider everything”. Let’s go ahead and play their game. How about starting with proverbs. I'll give you the proverb and then I'll reconsider it VE-style below that:

The Glass is half full or The Glass is half empty
The Glass is too expensive to produce; here’s your plastic bottle

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
Alternate Power alternates alternatives

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise
Party till you drop and retire early before you lose your health wealth and eyes

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade
If life deals you grens, make grenades

The longest journey starts with a single step
The longest journey starts with an airline security liquid search

Talk is cheap
Talk is so last decade; texting is cheap

Truth is stranger than fiction
Truth is…strangers cause friction

Never judge a book by its cover
Never book a judge undercover

That which does not kill us makes us stronger
That which kills us makes us no longer

Laughter is the best medicine
Ask your doctor if laughter is right for you

Easy come, easy go
Easy bake oven, Easy bake dough

46 comments:

Maureen said...

"Laughter is the best medicine
Ask your doctor if laughter is right for you"

You forgot to add in legalese text far too miniscule to read, scrolling off the page so quickly it will make you nauseous, warning of all the side-effects of laughter.

Great ones. Another favorite is the "longest journey"...

Your mind never stops, does it VE?

VE said...

maureen - "Your mind never stops, does it VE?"...boy, I hope not...because I'd be DEAD! ;)

subtorp77 said...

HA! All very good, VE. Lest we not stay healthy and wealthy--Health care costs take care of the "wealthy", leaving us feeling none to "healthy". Must be all that BPA in the plastic bottles. And glass must be cheaper to produce; no oil as an ingredient!

Roy Scribner said...

Wow, those are way too complicated for me to come up with any kind of semi-literate response!

angie said...

The ability you have to come up with original, funny posts always amazes and amuses me.

VE said...

subtorp77 - Yes, how true! Oh, but it's still unfortunately cheaper to make those damn plastic bottles even with oil. I miss drinking things from glass...they just taste better.

roy - None is warrented...you know that!

angie - Thanks. That's my thing...

Anne said...

texting is NOT cheap, have you seen my cell bill?

subtorp77 said...

Ve, 'tis spot on that every thing's better tasting from glass. And I just "discovered" your parody bloggo...must...put...in...reader! I can see why there's no comment section! You couldn't possibly keep up with them, wot?

Quirkyloon said...

Another *snort your drink through the nostrils* post by VE!

Thanks VE. Me and my keyboard thank-you!

LMBO!

VE said...

anne - Of course I have...I'm always snooping through my readers stuff...

subtorp77 - Yeah, I used to just put parodies in this front page on the side but then decided to move them to their own blog section and just feature the most recent with a link from here. That way all of them are archived there. Same with all my photos of the day.

quirky - Glad I could clean out your nostrils for you!

ReformingGeek said...

Booking a judge undercover? I love it.

You are hilariously deep today. Here's a shovel. ;-)

VE said...

reforminggeek - You're implying that I should dig my own hole deeper, aren't you?

moooooog35 said...

What goes up, must come down.

What goes up, usually requires me to take Levitra these days to get it there in the first place.

Jacki said...

The longest journey starts with an airline security liquid search

HAHAHA...too true!

I answered your question today...

VE said...

moooooog35 - Ha! Just make sure it's not up there longer than 4 hours!

jacki - Well then I'll have to come on over and check that out!

Nessa said...

Don't believe everything you read.

Don't believe everything from VE.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

My doctor says laughter in moderation is ok, but that it may cause upset stomach, vomiting, diarrhea, and in rare cases, swelling of the throat that may result in death.

Given that information, me thinks it's best to refrain from laughter....

Elizabeth said...

LOL! I love your twisted proverbs! However I wanted to point out that if we're talking mimosas, I don't care if they're in a glass or a plastic bottle, just keep ‘em coming!
:)

Brian Miller said...

amazing wit VE.

A rolling log collects no moss.

Roll a log and you'll be hungry enough to eat the moss.

Gladys said...

People in glass houses should not through stones.

People in stone houses can't afford to pay their mortgages and have no money to afford glasses.

Beth said...

He (or she) who laughs last, laughs best --> He (or she) who laughs best reads VE’s Fantastical Nonsense - and reconsiders everything!

VE said...

nessa - Ha! That's good advice!

arizona - I think the health care system will cause most people those same symptoms...

elizabeth - Mmmm mimosas...good call!

brian - I can attest to that!

gladys - Ha...ain't it the truth.

beth - I love it when you say things like that! ;)

lime said...

never book a judge undercover is by far my favorite!

VE said...

lime - You're the best judge of that!

Carla said...

Hahahaha...Those were good. Sequel please.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Very funny and witty post!

As with most medications, laughter too has it's conraindications.

Sarah said...

Reconsidering getting older: When people complain to me about getting older I like to respond with, well you are either another year older or you are dead!
Happy birthday whiners :-)

nursemyra said...

I like Moooooog35's comment ;-)

VE said...

carla - Request duly noted!

perpetual chocoholic - I don't use that word...it has 'rain' in it...

sarah - That's to the point for sure! I like it...

nursemyra - Of course you do! ;)

gab said...

yep I like the laughter is the best medicine, but if you dont check with your doctor first you may end up no longer. My problems is I laugh to much and usually end up first snorting then wetting! Please dont make me laugh. Love your humor though.

Kurt said...

Ask your doctor if laughter is right for you, indeed.

VE said...

gab - As a humor blog...that's going to be a bit difficult

kurt - In your case...it might be!

Serena said...

Very astute observations. They say that seeing is believing. That rule is suspended when it comes to politicians, bankers, car manufacturers, televangelists, door to door salesmen, and traveling Gypsies. I always believe what you show me, though!

Jaime said...

an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

keep the doctor away... nope. i got nothing.

Janna said...

My doctor said laughter is perfect for me.

Unfortunately, I can't afford the prescription, so you're going to have to keep me alive yourself.

Be sure to make me laugh three times a day, with meals.
Gel-caps work better than tablets.

No pressure.

Deb said...

My favorite: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger
That which kills us makes us no longer"

Now THAT makes sense!

The Incredible Woody said...

I don't believe I have ever been dealt a gren.

VE said...

serena - Seeing is believing but leaving is 'be seeing you'.

jaime - An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
The cost that I pay keeps the doctor away!

janna - I suggest buying them from Canada illegally...they're much cheaper!

deb - Yes, dead is pretty clarifying...

incredible woody - And that's a good thing!

Ronda Laveen said...

"Never judge a book by its cover
Never book a judge undercover."

Is this a Hugh Grant quote?

VE said...

ronda - Ha...no, it's a VE quote.

Megan said...

I can sometimes get coca-cola in the big old glass bottles at some of the little convenience stores in my neighborhood. It is not bottled in these parts...

VE said...

megan - I'm a Pepsi drinker. I haven't seen that in a bottle in a long time.

Mrsupole said...

I like your "reconsider" sayings better than most of the originals. Especially the grens one. Although the party till you drop one is good too.

I think from here on out when I hear any sayings I will be thinking of how to reconsider it.

God bless.

VE said...

mrsupole - Excellent. There is always another way...

Dalton J. Fox said...

I always leave your blog with a different perspective on things than when I arrived. Thanks ... I think.

VE said...

dalton - I'll take that as a compliment...I think