Friday, June 05, 2009

VE's Ridiculous Scenario Game - Final 5th Round

Welcome to fifth and final round of VE’s Ridiculous Scenario Questions Game.

But before we get to this week's scenario, let's give our prior round’s scenario contributors credit:

quirkyloon was A (oh Dicky-poo one)
leelee was B (jambalaja one)
teri was C (Clarise Starling one)
ronda was D (Don't ya wish your girlfriend was hot one)
venom was E (Alice Cooper one)
bunk was F (fake death one)
heyjoe was G (nude twister one)
lime was H (cannibal roast one)
megan was I (everything's better with butter one)
maureen was J (angioplasty chaser one)

Give them all a nice round of applause because they were awesome and completely ridiculous!Ok, now on to scenario five:

Remember, contestants were given a random question via email quite awhile back now. If you didn’t get one it’s because you don’t have any contact email on your blog. Sorry! Meanwhile…those that did get one and didn’t bother to call the police or delete it have returned these follow up scenarios. Let’s forget about who wrote what and you tell me which is the best based on the content.

You are playing your favorite game of LA rush hour auto jumping where upon you and your friends play tag while running on top of and jumping from vehicle to vehicle on the freeway. However, you’ve accidentally jumped into a convertible full of angry construction workers. What happens next?

A.

I see this scenario heading one way, of course the construction workers are looking at me angrily, until of course I pull out my microphone. I hit the second verse of 'My way' whilst standing on the bonnet of the car, everyone cheering me esspecially the Construction workers. Its at that point Davey, the big hairy guy gets up and starts a duet, we sing, dance a little, and then when he is not looking I give him the Vulcan death grip, and then the five star punch of fury, resulting in me having my hand punctured through his torso. The rest of them aren't really happy about this and decided to form Constructorb, a giant Construction worker warrior with a nail gun for one hand and a jackhammer for the other. Am I scared though, never... my deft ninja training and my specialist work for the catholic church have left me with more than enough ability to take on the Constructorb, and his construction arms of death. Snapping to 'Lazy Salmon' pose, I summon up my powerful ki and go about singlehandidly destroying Constructorb. With a spinning reverse back kick to the pressure point in his temple he soon trembles in pain before his body goes the consistency of melted frozen yogurt, or yogurt as we call it in Australia. Being humble and not wanting to rub it in, I only give the splodgy remains of Constructorb 2 destructo discs, instead of the usual seven, I dont want to seem disrespectful now do I?

B.

Not sure, but I think there's Diet Coke involved...

C.

Immediately I am put into a full Nelson by the biggest and strongest of the flannel boys in the back seat while the one on the other side of me clenches his grapefruit-sized fist and cocks his right arm as he prepares to knock my teeth out.

"Whoa boys!" I protest. "What's with all the hating?"

The ugliest of the 4 chimes in from the front seat. "Like dude. Like we're like on our way to the lottery office to claim our 100 million dollar prize, but like we've only moved 10 feet in the last hour. But like braniac here in the driver's seat just found our year-old ticket and if we don't get there in the next 10 minutes it like totally expires and we like totally lose our fortune?"

My eyes light up. "You mean that lottery office that's just off the next exit up the interstate?"

"Totally."

Suddenly I had an idea. "Have no fear amigos... I can help!"

After a very brief huddle, I grab the winning ticket, hop up onto the hood and take off across the roofs of the cars ahead. At 4:59pm I burst through the door of the Los Angeles County lottery office with a full minute to spare.

The next morning the headlines of the LA Times read:

"Four construction workers and ex-musician claim 100 Million in lottery."

That was 5 years ago and unfortunately I had the poor judgment of investing all my winnings with Bernie Madoff. Now I live in a broken down trailer. But I know 4 guys who said they can help me remodel it. So there's that.

D.

You compliment their stylish blending of orange and yellow on their safety vests and JUMP!

E.

Firstly, you wonder why construction workers would be in a convertible and not a work truck.

Then you realize: They are GAY construction workers.

In desperate horror, you jump from the groping construction workers convertible into a convertible full of hot blond chicks.

You're now happy, only to realize in horror that these chicks are all GAY too.

They dump you back into the GAY construction worker convertible, who happens to be their opposite sex gay friends.

You then learn to clench your butt cheeks very tightly until the GAY workers stop for some lube, where you make a very quick escape.

After that, you learn that playing in rush hour traffic is a very, VERY stupid past time and you smarten up

F.

Hum...a convertible of construction workers? Oh, a pickup bed. I get it.

"Oh Hi Guys! Si haba English? Got taco?"

Uh oh. They not look happy. I initiate Plan B: Flash 'em. Dang! They didn't even notice my little lifesavers on a surfboard. "I'm outta here" says me as I hit the green "GO" button on my trans-galactic transporter....

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There you have it. Six ridiculous replies to a ridiculous scenario. So you tell me which you liked (and why if you'd like it). There are no popularity votes here. There isn't even necessarily any winners here either. Just wacky stuff. I'll announce our contestants in a future post.

40 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

Ah the power and influence of VE strikes again! I noticed the use of the word whilst in Scenario A!

Nice touch!.

I like this game VE. Many funny responses.

I am surprised that nobody went for a YMCA moment in their scenarios!

But mucho funny!

Elizabeth said...

They're all funny, but I think I like A best. Whoever wrote that sounds like a very, hmm, interesting person.
:) Elizabeth

ReformingGeek said...

VE, you have some crazy readers!

VE said...

quirky - See...you didn't get this scenario so there was nobody there to do the YMCA version. Dang!

elizabeth - I will not reveal ANYTHING! But thanks for the vote!

reforminggeek - Of course you realize that means you too!

Beth said...

B is great - so simple yet creates a great visual!

Maureen said...

I like C... and the way he/she got the ex-musician into the lottery pool...

The Incredible Woody said...

Got taco? Hahaha!!

gab said...

ooohh way to hard to deciede ummmmm lets see A is pretty good. C is really good. can we combine those two together and get a real good one? I personally would start stripping, they would be running in the other direction in 2 seconds flat. LOL

VE said...

beth - Brevity can be effective!

maureen - It's a great story, for sure!

incredible woody - I'm gonna use that too next time I fall into a convertible...

VE said...

gab - Combinations are allowed! I never made a lot of rules...

Me-Me King said...

Huh? I'm lost. I need to start paying better attention, looks like fun.

*golf clap*

VE said...

me-me king - Sorry...you've come on part five of an event that started months ago. I gave readers a scenario and they provided me with their answers and then I'm featuring them scenario by scenario. All that was done via email. But thanks for stopping in!

Mike said...

I was wondering when you'd post the one I contributed too.

I feel happy now.

Gladys said...

Is this before or after they have turned their construction trailer upside down?

VE said...

mike - I didn't forget you, buddy!

gladys - Ha! You decide...

Jacki said...

Okay, I will go with F. That one is simple.

Gladys said...

Then it is definitly F.

Jaime said...

D - short, simple and effective.

VE said...

jacki - You just like the transgalactic transporter...

gladys - You skipped to the bottom, didn't you? ;)

jaime - Brevity seems to be winning over

Janna said...

I like "A" because now I'm imagining "Constructorb" as a cheap Saturday morning cartoon.
Love how he/she was able to defeat them with "deft ninja training and my specialist work for the catholic church."

VE said...

janna - Those two things combined...look out! haha

Janna said...

Also, I'm surprised that so far nobody has made a joke about the Village People.

I think that's the direction I would have taken if I was answering.

After all, if there's a car full of construction workers, there's bound to be another car full of policemen and indians and whatever.

Play your cards right, and you could have them all doing the "YMCA" song & dance right there in the middle of the road.

If that doesn't diffuse tension, I don't know what will.

Megan said...

I don't like voting. I like all these!

Ronda Laveen said...

They are all wonderful and I applaud (clap, clap, clap) all of the contributors.

I like E. It points out the lesson learned about the danger of playing in the freeway. Mom always said...

VE said...

janna - Somebody else thought there should have been a Village People answer. Guess the right people weren't given this scenario to yield that one!

megan - No voting, only opinion and liking them all is fine.

ronda - That's what makes it fun...the danger

Wow said...

I'd have to go with an answer that included flashing

VE said...

wow - Flashing is always a good solution to a scenario...

Alex L said...

Should I vote for myself... no I can't, that would be conceited, and thats definitely not my style... ok it is a little.

Mrsupole said...

I like E and F. E made me laugh cause I was not expecting it at all. F was great cause it would probably be the truest one, at least on our freeways. And I love to eat tacos, burritos, tamales, enchiladas. No hablo English, but tacos es muy grande y yo es muy loco en la cabeza por los burritos y pollo enchiladas. Yo es bonita latina.

Okay, I was thinking of having steaks (carne asada) for dinner on Monday, but maybe I will make burritos instead. Must be my ancestors craving it.

God bless.

VE said...

alex - Go ahead and vote for yourself. Then if you win, you can take yourself out to dinner in celebration. Wait...there are not votes and winners in this. Nevermind...

mrsupole - It's ok to like two of them. You can have tacos with the gay folk. They don't bite...

Jeff said...

C could totally happen. Obviously there are tons of valley construction workers out there buying lottery tickets. This same scenario probably happens every day.

VE said...

jeff - That is preposterous. That guy would have cashed in the ticket claiming he was the sole winner and then the construction guys would have hunted him down on his yacht and killed him...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

E, VE.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I like "C" because I totally like using the word "totally" to answer a question.

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Clever...you wrote this in the eve, didn't you?

arizona - That's two more "totally" to you life tally! You're totally winning!

Anne said...

'B' made me chuckle out loud.

VE said...

anne - It's utterly ridiculous, isn't it?

Alien Humor said...

Wouldn't that be Coke Zero now?

VE said...

alien humor - Is that the product that is full of nothing? I can't keep up with those diet pops...

VE said...

Chris Edlin - I did confirm that you indeed had given me the diet coke answer! That is classic that you don't remember. Sleep blogging perhaps?