Thursday, July 09, 2009

Ghosts

First off, my good friend Jeff over at View from the Cloud has a contest of VE importance. Apparently I ghost wrote one of his recent posts. How good of a VE reader are you really? Can you tell which one? The gnomes don't think you're worthy!!! Muh ha ha...

Today’s Theme Thursday is GHOST. I’m pretty much stumped. I have zero experiences with ghosts. I figure I’m too obnoxious for the dead to handle and so they conveniently leave me alone.

I’ve been in some creepy places too. Just out of high school a friend and I took a road trip down to Klamath Falls, OR and we went through a really scary old school. Supposedly somebody was burned and hanged outside one of the windows and you could see what looked like rope marks outside the front of a broken out upper window. And further down the road was a very scary building that Charles Manson and his insane crew supposedly hid out in. While both were scary and creepy nary a ghost was felt or seen.

It got me wondering about ghosts. If heaven is so wonderful and hell is so controlling, why are they even around? Are they like the dead version of the guy in front of me that can’t seem to figure out that a green light means GO? Were they the guy at the movie ticket line that can’t seem to figure out what they want? Perhaps ghosts are just a bunch of clueless people that don’t even know they’re dead.
Oh, and what is with the expression “white as a ghost”? Why are ghosts even white? Translucent I can sort of understand but white? I have serious doubts that Malcom X would have come back as a white ghost. How stereotypical of us…

63 comments:

subtorp77 said...

Dunno about the "white as a ghost" thing. I've heard the term "bleed him white" which refers to sucking all the money out of one. But ghosts don't need money, do they? Most of the ghosts I've encountered are colourless, anyway.

Maybe, just maybe, some guy was white-washing a fence and was scared by a "something", and his reaction was to toss the bucket of white paint, at that "something"...and what's with the the bloomin' sheets, anyway? Really, is that supposed to scare me? OOOOOHHHH!!

Mrsupole said...

It is all Casper's fault you know. He was the one who was a white ghost. I mean he was friendly and all that, but his uncles were mean and scarey. So blame it all on Casper. Has anyone seen him lately? I wonder if he is okay. Did he crossover?

I thought though that some ghosts actually look like the person they were but that you could see through them. Doesn't that make them "clear"?

Oh, the questions you always come up with. Love them.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Hey if I was second, can I be third. Just asking.

The Incredible Woody said...

I'll swear my grandparent's house was haunted. By what - I don't know. But I know I never wanted to be alone there. Maybe it was that creepy picture of Jesus over the mantle.....

Baino said...

Why are ghosts white? Stuffed if I know. Why does Jesus have blue eyes and blonde hair . . Marketing my man . .marketing!

Jacki said...

Perhaps the saying came from people putting sheets over themselves to be ghosts on Halloween.

But you did a great job ghost-writing for Jeff...I honestly can't say for certain which post is yours!

Poetikat said...

Ha! I never thought of that about ghosts being white. I guess as a kid I always just accepted it - Casper was the first ghost I ever encountered.

Kat

Jeff said...

Patrick Swayze was so unbelievable as a ghost in his movie (and not in a good way) that he made me stop believing in ghosts. Hmmm, I guess I should thank him.

And Jacki's right... even I can't tell which post you wrote on my blog. Good job!

Kurt said...

Ghosts are more translucent than white.

Jaime said...

ghosts are around because heaven is too perfect and hell is too...hellish. I guess it's just more interesting watching the living screw up their lives... or something like that

Nessa said...

Ghosts are white, silly, because they wear sheets. Man, you don't know nuttin'.

willow said...

Yes, it's the sheet thing!

lime said...

i'm pretty sure my ghost will be tie dyed

Sornie said...

I think ghosts stick around on earth because of the abundance of porn on the internet. Heaven probably doesn't allow it or view it as necessary and hell surely doesn't have it because it's a punishing place.

VE said...

subtorp77 - Ha! Bucket of paint. You're just making this stuff up as you go, aren't you? It's ok...I do it all the time.

mrsupole - You can be second and third! You just need a split personality. Oh, and if Caspers uncles are so mean and such, why didn't he just sow them and cross over!

incredible woody - Getting the creepy Jesus products costs more than the un-creepy Jesus ones...

baino - Marketing...good one. It's not reality; it's our perception of reality.

jacki - I can't believe I fooled even you. You're a scientist!!! Well, you know math. There must be a formula for determining. I'd check the spelling and grammar. You know how I never proofread.

poetikat - That's why I'm here...to call bullshit to the obvious and accepted.

jeff - Better thank him pretty soon, I have a feeling his ghost reunion is fast approaching...

kurt - You sound very convincing. There must be a back story...

jaime - Ooooh, a third option. Sort of like "maybe". So what your saying is that being a ghost is like going to the movies for entertainment.

nessa - Well...that simplifies the whole "what to wear" dilema in the future.

willow - I'm thinking there may be a shortage of sheets soon then

VE said...

lime - Ha! That is so you. I'm pretty sure you're ghost will be named "Michelle" and speak French! ;)

sornie - Good point. And as a ghost you can watch it all day and night and never get caught or interupted.

subtorp77 said...

VE, of course I am( heh, heh, heh )and looks like Kurt was 8th, this time...HA! Not that I care, mind you....

VE said...

subtorp77 - Yeah...Kurt is all riteous and cocky when he's in the the top 5, isn't he?

ReformingGeek said...

There's no way I will be able to identify your post, Mr. Ghost. You should leave clues...

Here's my made-up explanation: Ghosts are spirits usually seen in the dark and they are light which compared to the dark, appear "white". Yeah, whatever. ;-)

Brian Miller said...

maybe the "white" is just our way of describing the indescribable? on scooby doo they tended to be green at times...mine was rather pale yellow...hmm...

VE said...

reforminggeek - Stumped you too over at Jeff's blog, eh? Muh haha. Anway, I think consuming a lot of spirits will definitely help in making sense of ghosts...

VE said...

brian - Good point, I forgot that Scooby Doo had green ghosts. And of course he is the auhority on the subject!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

For some reason blogger won't accept my comments. Oh well, maybe three times the charm.

Quirkyloon said...

Dang VE. Why you be hatin' on ghosts? Just leave them be!

Don'tchoo know you're inviting all sorts of UNfriendly ones when you disrespect them?

Be careful VE, after all you are nearing the nearly 50 group and you are a blog celebrity in the blogosphere.

Just sayin!

and....

BOO!

Quirkyloon said...

Ack! VE it's already happening. I swear I saw a genetics post on google reader and when I got here...

IT'S GONE!

I told you!

lifeshighway said...

Ghosts do not know how to get off on the exit ramp so they are eternally driving the cloverleaf. They are white from exhaustion because they are in a perpetual purgatory of piss-offedness.

Quirkyloon said...

Ack...it was generic, not genetic.

I am officially spooked.

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - I applaud the effort for you to get your comment actually on here. I'm sure the gnomes were just having their usual fun. They probably enlisted some white ghost to take your other ones...

quirkyloon - Now quirky...don't go getting yer undies all in a bunch. I didn't say I didn't like ghosts, I just said we are stereotyping them...and I'm sure that pisses them off just as much. You know what a fondness I have for mythical creatures like gnomes and zombies and such. Oh, and as for the reader post. Coming to a blog near you! I once again messed up on my schedule post and it posted too soon.

lifeshighway - Ha! So do they disappear when they run out of gas?

Candie Bracci said...

Ha!that was really funny!

Elizabeth said...

I wonder what color Michael Jackson's ghost will be.

Gladys said...

All the ghost I have seen have been transparent. Sort of like the Obama Presidency...or not

Ronda Laveen said...

I am pretty certain that you will be the easiest ghostie to find in the after life as well as on the planet. After you go, instead of white, tan will become the most popular color for haunters.

Reporter Geraldo Rivera reports, "A tan ghost, who looks like Howdy Doody and was wearing a speedo, was spotted scarring folks in the Pacific Northwest. He was working with a gang of Ghost Gnomes."

VE said...

candie - Thanks

elizabeth - Good one! Probably like my soft serve ice cream...a mix of chocolate and vanilla

gladys - Of course one has to ask that if they are transparent, how do you know you've seen them?

ronda - Damn...you've got me down cold. Well, except for the speedos that is. They were NOT speedos. I just had the cuffs scrunched up so I wouldn't have one of those stupid half leg tan lines. Judging from other comments I've had over the years I think they weren't quite baggy enough either...

Wings said...

hah! I always heard "White as a sheet", but that isn't good, either. Sheets can be anything color or pattern. Hmmmm....

:)

Ronda Laveen said...

Sure! Now you try to say it wasn't a Speedo.

VE said...

wings - Yes, I've heard both and I contend that both a stereo-typing. Although most sheets do tend to be white...

ronda - You can't make me wear a speedo, you can't make me wear a speedo. The baggy ones aren't any good in the water either. They essentially become penis cling wrap when you get out anyway. Guys just can't win...

Ronda Laveen said...

Penis cling wrap? Maybe guys can't win but this sounds like we women might=0)

VE said...

ronda - Yes...tremendous for you women...

J A Harnett-Hargrove said...

Great post.. and your troop all sound as though they are in the same room. -Jayne

Uncivil said...

This means only one thing.
Michael Jackson was trying to become a ghost before he took that dirt nap?

Kitty said...

They supposedly have a pretty creepy ghost tour in Edinburgh, so if you ever go to Scotland, maybe you can finally bag a ghost and find out why he won't get where he's supposed to be going.

thinkinfyou said...

I'm scared to death of ghosts. I can't even watch Ghost Hunters without the lights on!

Kris said...

Slippery buggers, ghosts.

Maureen said...

Did you see the CNN video of MJ's ghost? It WAS a bit disturbing... check it out on YouTube; at last count it had over 7 million hits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Am67-Sew7k

Maureen said...

Oh and while I think of it, his short film called "Ghosts" is awesome too... the dancing skeleton was cool.

VE said...

J A - Thanks. My group is a wild and crazy bunch. We have a lot of fun. Join in!

uncivil - It's a worthy theory!

kitty - I'd love to go to Edinburgh. The closest I've been is to the middle of England though. I'll get there. I do a trip somewhere in the world at least once a year.

thinkinfyou - Oh come on now, what about Casper? What about Beetlejuice?

kris - Is it the butter? Olive oil? It's not suntan lotion. I'm not sure what makes them so slippery...

maureen - I haven't seen that. I'll check it out. Thanks.

Liza said...

Hilarious observation! Great take on the theme.

VE said...

Liza - Thanks. Today was really a stretch for me. I practically had nothing...

Anne said...

you'll have to ask those folks who give "ghost tours" in old town what color ghosts they see.

The Silver Fox said...

Casper was a wimp, and Scooby_Doo never even met a real ghost, did he?

Anyway, some people I've met who believe in ghosts say that a lot of them don't know they're dead, so you weren't that far off with your comments about them being "clueless."

Mrsupole said...

Hey SF,
Casper wasn't a wimp, he was just friendly. And Scooby Doo met a few live ghosts, but only Scooby Doo knew.

The Silver Fox said...

Mrsupole: Casper wasn't a wimp? Okay, if you say so... [Silver Fox makes coughing noise which sounds suspiciously like "Wimp!"]

VE said...

anne - They're all color blind...

silver fox - See...I knew I was right!

mrsupole - I forsee mediation coming...I'll call Jimmy Carter...

silver fox - Hold on...I've got Ambassador Carter trying to set up a conference call with Mrsupole over the whole Casper debacle. I'm sure we can all come to an agreemment here.

The Silver Fox said...

Maybe it's a good thing I didn't do that post I'd planned -- no lie -- about how much I disliked the Casper character when I read comics as a child.

VE said...

silver fox - I'm sensing it's on the same magnitude of my dislike for all things Garfield...

The Silver Fox said...

What'd Garfield ever do to you? It's bad enough that the poor guy was assassinated, and you...

Oh. Wrong Garfield. Never mind.

Someday I want to make a stuffed President Garfield doll with suction cups on his feet and hands so I can stick him on the inside of my car's rear window.

Megan said...

Nice one, VE.

Janna said...

The picture looks sort of like a cross between a pimp and a marshmallow.

Which, I guess, is important if you're making urban s'mores.

Carla said...

I think ghosts are probably a dingy grey. Of course I've never actually seen one to confirm.

VE said...

silver fox - Ha! I forgot about that President. Not that I think about Presidents that often. The stuffed one idea is terrific!

megan - Thanks

janna - It was a weird one, wasn't it? Urban s'mores....excellent.

carla - It's a gut feeling...right?

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

We had a ghost in our farmhouse. I swear!! The house was built in 1870 and when we bought it it was in shambles. We fixed the house up and whenever I was sewing my "sewing room" I'd see someone walk by my door. All. the. time. I was never afraid of it, though. It was a friendly ghost. Casper, perhaps....

VE said...

arizona - In that case I would have put it to work. You know; take out the garbage; dust pictures...

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

If only ghosts would clean. They don't, though. They figure they did enough cleaning when they were alive. That's why haunted houses are always such a mess....