Wednesday, July 01, 2009

More Crap TV Offerings

I can see now why I avoid watching TV with the same determination I use to avoid experimental surgeries. The whole experience…sucks!

Let’s look at some of the shows they’ve got lined up for us in the future:

Hawthorne (a medical drama)
Trauma (a medical drama)
This Might Hurt (a medical comedy) ....VE note: In more ways than they can imagine!
Nurse Jacki (a medical comedy)
Miami Trauma (a medical drama)

Thank goodness Hollywood is being so creative and giving us yet four more medical shows. Because Grey’s Anatomy, House, Nip/Tuck, Scrubs, General Hospital, Private Practice, Doctors and Hopkins isn’t enough!

I’m especially looking forward to This Might Hurt because surgeries are funny! Oh, and Nurse Jacki has got to be hilarious. Who doesn’t laugh at changing bedpans? Oops…Nurse Jacki accidentally just stuck a syringe through both of Dr. Duff’s testicals. Bwahahaha. I can’t wait to see what she does with that blood pressure machine.

And all these medical dramas; how many interesting things are really going on in your average hospital? On House some guy walks in with a bump on his arm that looks like a staph infection and it turns out he’s got a rare Peruvian worm chewing his arm muscle tissue and only that House guy can figure it out. What is he, a medical freak magnet? Every highly rare condition just happens to walk into his hospital? You don’t see a lot of cases on TV with some 72 year old wanting his foot corns removed...

Also don’t even get me started on the fact that every health care character on these shows is model thin and attractive. Have you seen the staff in your local hospital? They’re huge! And that bothers me. Shouldn’t somebody in health care first care about their own health? I mean…I don’t hire a tax attorney from a jail cell that he's been in for tax fraud. I don’t hire a personal trainer that gets winded walking up the gym stairs. Why would I trust an overweight doctor telling me to eat right?

But back to TV…it’s not just the medical shows. There is a sad lack of originality on all fronts. They’re going to be introducing U.S. Attorney as a new legal drama. Oh boy! Lawyers are so much fun too! And if you can imagine another dozen forensic dramas thrown in there then you can really imagine what they’ll be doing over on the reality TV side of things.

Tiddlywinks is looking more and more interesting all the time…

48 comments:

Roy Scribner said...

Did I mention that I'm first this morning?

Hit 40 said...

I thought you were screwing with me about the names of the shows. How boring!!!!!

I can't do house anymore. Every show is exactly the same down to the dialogue of illnesses that they shout out for what could be wrong.

Rescue me is fun. WEEDS and DEXTER rock!!!

moooooog35 said...

All I know is that I can't wait for the next episode of "Jimmy Slooth: Carpet Cleaner."

Will the stain come out? Will it set in? Will Jimmy recommend laminate flooring instead?

Riveting shit, my friend. Riveting shit.

Gladys said...

I want to see them make a show like "Real Sex Change Operations of San Francisco" or "Desperate Hemrrhoids". Not that I would watch it but it would make for interesting TV Guide Covers.

Quirkyloon said...

Me thinks VE needs to start watching Reality TV.

*evil grin*

Ha!

subtorp77 said...

VE, I can relate to all those "overweight" healthcare workers. Hell, my old doctor could've doubled for Louie Anderson or Jabba! Haven't been back since. And don't get me started on politicians...

And I can see I've really missed nothing on the telly. It's no wonder some of this garbage makes it to DVD! I think we need some more creativity, here. And "reality t.v' is all scripted! HA! there, I said it! :P

VE said...

roy - Got to get up pretty early in the morning to get first here sometimes...

hit 40 - I know...people think I'm making this stuff up. Only the truth could be this bland...

moooooog35 - Ha! I'm predicting the stain will NOT come out. Billy Mays isn't around now to get it out...

gladys - Ha! Aren't all hemmeroids desperate?

quirkyloon - I have enough reality in real life...I don't need my TV doing it too!

subtorp77 - Reality TV does seem scripted, doesn't it? The only problem with that theory is that some of the people on those shows are too dump to actually learn the scripting...

subtorp77 said...

VE, seems like a good point, wot? And I just took a tour of your "best of"...15 minute lunch is a scream-LMAO! As was your '70's growing up bit. Nice way to catch up :)

The Incredible Woody said...

Forget about those medical shows. Give me a school teacher turned meth dealer - now that's some good TV!

VE said...

subtorp77 - Yeah, Johnny's 15 minute lunch post was so popular it got pulled into one of those viral email forwards and made its rounds to me about a year later. I guess that's when you know you've had a lot of publicity on something. ps - You might be the first to actually go through something on "the best of" tab... ;)

incredible woody - Yeah, it's fun to watch them peel off that little aluminum holder for the eraser on every pencil just so he can sell it to the recycling center for more meth materials...

Maxi Cane said...

Ah yes, Tiddlywinks, the masturbation/twitch mockumentary.

Sounds good.

VE said...

maxi - That show has more promising prospects than some of the crap I've seen promoted...

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I'm not a big watcher of TV for exactly the reason you point out....TV sucks! The one show my husband and I loved to watch was Breaking Bad. Now, that was an awesome show. Hopefully it'll come back for another season. A high school chemistry teacher cooking and selling meth is a nice change from all the medical and legal dramas....

And what does THAT say about me??? Oy.

subtorp77 said...

VE, you're kidding, right? Right? Maybe it's from all the blasted rain we've been getting round here; kinda makes me want to read a lot...and my mind does like to wander round...hilarious stuff in there( your archives, that is )HA!

VE said...

arizona - I always wondered what that show was about...but since I don't really watch TV...well...

subtorp77 - Actually, I have no idea if anyone reads them or not. I don't do a lot of self tracking. Glad you enjoyed some of the stuff in there.

Elizabeth said...

I don't have tv, but I did discover hulu and a reality show called Interventions. After watching 5 shows back to back my husband thought I needed an intervention!

VE said...

elizabeth - See how it hooks you? Uggh...

Nessa said...

i have about ten family members and an additional two extended family members in the medical field and between them they'd be hard pressed to tell one interesting medical story. These shows are definitely someones' fantasy.

ReformingGeek said...

The problem is drama does not equate to funny. Sorry to burst your bubble.

I am not interested in medical shows. The exception is House and that's because Hugh Laurie IS funny and a very talented actor.

It's going to be a long summer and fall on TV land. Bring back Lost and 24!

Nessa said...

I forgot to Rabbit, Rabbit.

Kurt said...

I like Nurse Jackie. It's alright.

Anne said...

maybe it take 8 shows to replace the late ER?

Bonnie the Boss said...

You could always try reading a good book instead.

VE said...

nessa - Just as I suspected...

forminggeek - I know drama doesn't equate to funny...but some of those shows are billed as comedy. Either way; none are original...

nessa - My brain must be fuzzy today...rabbit?

kurt - Don't let them Kurt...just say no to TV...

anne - Well George Clooney seems to be doing ok since the show...

bonnie - I'm actually reading three...

zelzee said...

I don't usually run into drop dead gorgeous doctors, or female medical personnel with cleavage down to their navel.

I think it would cause too many heart attacks............

Chris C said...

A few years back I worked on a local short film with some friends. We were shooting an ambulance scene and rented a vehicle and three EMT's.

We had to reshoot like a dozen times because the EMT's were not dramatic enough. At one point I said "pretend this is ER" hehe.

Serena said...

Now we'll never be able to pry the hypochondriacs away from the TV.:)

VE said...

zelzee - But its a good way to tell if the male patients need viagra or not...

chris - That's funny. You should have brought in Clooney...

serena - That's it. The drug companies are subsidizing the networks for more medical dramas to sell people more drugs.

Dalton J. Fox said...

I've never been a fan of medical TV shows, so to hear that there's gonna be that many new ones cluttering up my television next year kind of sucks. I will say, though, that I've watched House 3 or 4 times and it's actually not bad.

Mr. Condescending said...

I guess im lucky, I have NEVER seen even one episode of Grey’s Anatomy, House, Nip/Tuck, Scrubs, General Hospital, Private Practice, Doctors or Hopkins.

Alex L said...

What about a medical dramedy about lawyers who do forensic cases with MONKEYS...

Just do what I do and watch people from outside their windows... wait what?

Ronda Laveen said...

I like nurse Jacki too. I side with Kurt. Although when I go to the high concept it is pretty much about her screwing on the side to get drugs. In another setting having sex for drugs would be prostitution. But funny prostitution.

Megan said...

Okay, but what if you HAD to pick one of those to watch? Which one would it be?

Megan said...

P.S. - I have read most of your archive...

Jacki said...

When I first came upon this post, my eyes immediately saw "Nurse Jacki" and I thought this post was gonna be another spoof including me.

This is why I don't watch much TV. Unless it something on the Travel Channel, Discovery, or NatGeo. But scripted shows? Snooze.

VE said...

dalton - And that is all you need to see...I hear the more you watch, the more similar everything is.

mr. condescending - You must be blogging from a hospital...

alex - Ha! That's where you've been. You should do your window watching here in the states...it's summer and everyone has cleaned them now. Oh...and glad you fit the monkey in there somehow...

ronda - Ha...perhaps they should call a spade a spade. Maybe they should do a massage show...oh wait, that's already on the adult channels...

megan - Well if I HAD too, I'd go with Nurse Jacki. If Kurt and Ronda like it then it can't be too bad...

megan - Astounding...you get a gold star girl! If you like my stuff, you'll definitely like the next year because I'll be doing some publishing...books, greeting cards, etc. My unauthorized autobiography is nearly done and it is 90% new material (well...old if you are me because I already lived it)

jacki - Ha! Imagine what I could do with a spoof of you in "Nurse Jacki"! Don't tempt me....

Mrsupole said...

Just watch the news all the time, you could not make this stuff up. It is most interesting except for when they spent the whole day on MJ, that was boring and TV went off.

But if you have never watched Monk, you should give it a try. You have to try and figure out who did it before he does and how. It is really hard to figure it out. But it is Monk's final season. Burn Notice is goodand In Plain Sight. But Sci-Fi has good shows on it.

I guess that to each his own. I never watch daytime TV, so do not know what is good at that time.

God bless.

And it was ambien, that made me do it, not coffee or redbull. Heck half the time I cannot even remember what I wrote. Good thing too.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I was in Florida and saw maybe one person under eighty. Yet on CSI Miami there are only good lookin' bikini babes. Same thing.

subtorp77 said...

@Perpetual C. watch CSI-Golden Girls, instead. Tho' I'd prefer the bikini beach bunny babes (if I watched the telly at all, that is )

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - I think you went to the wrong beach...I saw an awful lot of hot bodies when we were just there...

subtorp77 - I actually saw a fair amount of bikini beach bunny babes when I was in Miami.

subtorp77 said...

VE, quick! Say "bikini beach bunny babes" fives times fast-LOL!

Janna said...

In all the times I watched Star Trek, I don't remember seeing any signs of the future being filled with medical shows.

So there is that to look forward to.

On the other hand, the Klingons and Borg are coming.

Maureen said...

Which explains why most of my favorite shows are on Teletoon Retro or the Food Network nowadays...

I take exception to the ALL fat medical workers though... but if I keep watching the Food Network, I just may join those ranks one day.

California Girl said...

TV is crap. Your comments are on the mark. Of course, this comes from someone who falls in love with one or two series and then gets pissed when they are cancelled or end. I STILL miss "The West Wing". I like "Ugly Betty" if for no other reason than for the sets, vibrant colors and gorgeous clothes. I like "Eli Stone" because it's quirky and, while definitely sappy, espouses interesting values like charity, family, ESP, George Michael's singing. Yes, I'm kidding but I do like that show.

I was a national media buyer many yrs ago and we were always feted by the networks with their Fall previews. This used to occur in May or June previous to upcoming Fall. It was usually a disappointment. the similarities and duplications are always a surprise but the networks seem to mimic one another by choice or focus group studies...not sure which.

VE said...

california girl - I hear that all the time...people that like unique shows that are cancelled. WTF?

VE said...

subtorp77 - I'm visualizing it instead...

janna - That is an oddity...somebody must have gone back in time and changed everything. Damn them...

maureen - At least the food network is still about food...unlike MTV...

Jaime said...

you don't really expect writers to come up with NEW material, do you? think about all the other shows where everyone repeats themes. every so often, they come up with a good one. but then everyone has to copy it. (i still love gray's anatomy and private practice - i don't care what you say)

VE said...

jaime - And I don't EVEN want to know what is going on in "private" practice....