Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Reviver - The Survivor Spin Off - Team Two

If you just joined us…you’re late! Go upfront and do a mime imitation! Then…read this post first and this post second.

Our second team is Team Snivel. Just get a load of them and you will too! We took the most pathetic media sniffers and put them in a room with cameras and recorded them for two days without food, water or expensive beauty products. Then, we reviewed the footage and selected only those that we’re staring up at our cameras for the entire 48 hours in the hopes they’d get some press time out of it. Let’s take a look at their profiles and hear some important commentary from Jeff…because our staff has a money pool on the stupid stuff he’ll come up with.



And there we have it…Team Grovel and now Team Snivel. Two pathetic teams going at it with an illusion for fame and glory. It should be an interesting season…we’ll try and check in on the action from time to time to see what’s happened.

48 comments:

Ronda Laveen said...

My money is on Team Snivel. You have a number of desperate, no-holds-barred has beens on this team. Clay, with his "flash in the pan" resume, will probably loan the pan to Tanya as a whackin' tool.

Elizabeth said...

Andrew Dice Clay, I think I hate him most of all out of Team Snivel. And is it just me or does Carrot Top look like a woman?

ReformingGeek said...

That's a pathetic group, VE, but since this team has Tonya and Linda, this team is going to win.

Elizabeth said Carrot Top looks like a woman. I think Linda looks like a man.

Where DO you come up with these people?

Jaime said...

you lost me at billy ray... I can't watch him and fabio running around on an island for 40 days

Roy Scribner said...

And the VE circle is complete: two comedians who deserve beheadings. You have thrown a curve ball in there with Tonya Harding, though. Maybe in lieu of beheading, Dice and Carrot Top could do six months of "hard time" in her trailer.

Kurt said...

Why would Carrot Top have work done?

The Incredible Woody said...

And if Carrot Top was going to have work done, why would he not do something with that carrot top?!?

subtorp77 said...

Oh yes, definitely Team Snivel! How low will these has-beens sink?

Gladys said...

Oh My GAWD! Carrot Top to me he is equal to Pennywise the Clown. I wonder if he lives in the storm drain?

That is a pathetic lot VE. Are they going to walk around wearing those little all purppose kleenex rag things? Are you going to make them swim through leech infested water? What will VE Have them do?

Quirkyloon said...

Wait a minute.

Sarah Connor? In the lot with the likes of Andrew Dice and Billy Ray Cyrus?

I'm not sure I can continue watching.

BTW Billy Ray ain't nuttin' without daughter Miley.

VE said...

ronda - This team is all over the board, isn't it? I'm sure Clay will piss off Linda and Tonya and they'll kill him off before he can do any damage...

elizabeth - Carrot Top is kinda freaky looking...like a clown gone bad

reforminggeek - Where do I come up with them? How did they get on ANYTHING in the first place?

jaime - Fabio and Billy Ray are easy enough to lose...you can send them to "fetch" just about anything. They're not too bright...

roy - Ha! Now that's a thought! And how'd YOU know she lives in a trailer? ;)

kurt - I don't know...because he can't find work, maybe?

incredible woody - I know, I know, carrot tops are so out. Cucumber tops are in now...

subtorp77 - Well, you've been in a sub...a lot lower than that!

gladys - Yes! That's it. Carrot top reminds me of Pennywise the clown. Good call...

quirkyloon - Oh yes, you called it right about Billy Ray. And yes, it is sad that Linda is among this group but really, what has she done since T2 other than get divorced and a big fat settlement from James Cameron (Titanic director)? No...she earned it too. And you've got to mix some real baddies in there for full TV drama...

subtorp77 said...

Ouch! Now that's low!HA!

Jacki said...

This is certainly my favorite team! What a motely crew!

Anne said...

hmm, wonder what tonya's gonna do to fabio? that should be fun to watch.

does billy ray bring his guitar?

lifeshighway said...

Linda Hamiliton... that's cold VE. Although her picture did scare the crap out me.

subtorp77 said...

I don't see Fabio doin' much here. I mean he "couldn't belive it wasn't butter", so how's he gonna fare agains these other bottom-feeders?

lime said...

if the contestants get hungry i say we vote for who we most want to see roasted on a spit to feed their teammates. i'd nominate billy ray, andrew dice clay and of course carrot top...gotta have yer veggies.

VE said...

subtorp77 - Yes, I know, it's classified how low...

VE said...

Jacki - They do seem more dispicable, don't they?

VE said...

anne - No way. Billy Ray wasn't allowed his guitar. No weapons were allowed on set...

VE said...

lifeshighway - It was a controversial one to add. A lot of people (inluding me) liked her in the terminator movies. But ya gotta ask yourself, what has she done since then?

VE said...

subtorp77 - Fabio is just too dumb and fun to watch lumbering around. Nobody is going to vote him out for awhile because he can be so easily manipulated!

VE said...

lime - Ha! Veggies. I knew you'd come through with something wild. Now let me sing you a little Beatles song I heard recently...

subtorp77 said...

VE, "classified", HA! Oh wait...I think my security clearance expired! DRAT!( speed dialing COMSUBRON 5 )...now that's classified!! Well, not much anymore, thanks to CNN...

VE said...

subtorp77 - And can you believe they gave me a security clearance high enough to be in an Awak plane? Go figure!

leelee said...

leelee knocks on the door of VE's blog softly and with a great deal of embarrassment..hoping he won't peek through the peephole and tell her to get lost for not coming round in a very long time. He cracks open the door a bit and she smiles apologetically and holding out a cup of coffee and a big cheese danish for him, says...

"Hi VE...I'm sorry for not coming round...and thanks for coming by MY blog and nudging me to update..I have no good excuse..and I hope we can still be blog buddies".....)

subtorp77 said...

VE...oh, I got ya!( AWACS ). Those guys are nuts! I mean, they fly into hurricane eyes and storms( when they're not tryin' to find us, that is )...hope ou brought some dramamine( heh, heh ), not that it'll help...

VE said...

subtorp77 - It'll all be in my book...more details on Friday.

Jeff said...

As you're writing the script, make sure to put in a challenge where Fabio and Carrot Top have to shave their heads and make wigs out of their hair. And then they have to exchange wigs and wear each other's hair. I would watch for sure if you could make that happen.

Baino said...

OMG you dissed the Hoff! Internet star extraordinaire! Off with your head!

freetheunicorns said...

Ha. Love it. But at the same time, damn you. I was going to do a post about an episode of Survivor I wrote. You beat me to it.

Well done as usual VE.

VE said...

jeff - Ha! You are definitely twisted. I like it! I'll do a similar theme with Linda and Tonya where I inject body fat from Tonya into Linda. It'll be quite icky and scary!

baino - It's ok, I lost my head during the 17th Century comedian post already. I'm getting used to it...

freetheunicorns - That's the great thing about Survivor and reality TV. You can always do another!

VE said...

leelee - How did I miss you in there. I guess I haven't seen you in so long you appear invisible in my comments! ;) You are always welcome even if you haven't been active in blogdome! You know I have to wake you up out of facebook from time to time...

mama-face said...

haha. I love this show. I needed this...thanks!

Will Miley make a guest appearance? That would be so super awesome.

And what's up with Jeff Probst? He is so harsh sometimes.

Serena said...

Well, you hooked me. With those team members, I'm going to have to watch for the pathos factor alone.

thinkinfyou said...

Someone is going to get a hold of this and make a show out of it. I hope you get a huge cut of the earnings!

Janna said...

Holy scarecrows, Batman!

The picture of Linda Hamilton is so frighteningly bad!
I haven't been keeping up with the celebrity news, apparently. What happened? Is she sick? On meth? Bulimic? What happened?
I googled around briefly to see if I could find any news on it, but nope.
Something must have happened though, to prompt this weird message they have on her website.
Or, should I say, her EX-website.
Weird.

Additional thought:

I think one night, when the rest of us were sleeping, Carrot Top's evil alternate universe twin decided to switch places with the one we previously had.

It's the only possible explanation for those eyebrows.

Megan said...

Oh, Jeff Probst. I love you so.

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

Good lord. Does Linda Hamilton really look that bad now? Eww. Ditto on Tonya Harding. One is a skeleton and the other is a, well, eww. Am I mean?

Maureen said...

You mean out of these two lots someone has to WIN??? GAH! I can't imagine anyone coming out alive.

Maybe Jeff will be the lone Survivor for this one...

VE said...

mama-face - Glad you could use it! That's what I'm here for...I love being used! I don't think Miley will be able to be on it. Disney won't let her degrade her image to do it...

serena - Yes...that alone will make it exciting

thinkinfyou - It's the story of my life...they'll leave me high and dry...

janna - Well...she did get 50 million out of James Cameron. I guess I wouldn't worry about too much if I had 50 million. That was a weird thing on that web site though...

megan - He's always there with his wity commentary...

arizona - No...I'm working on fat injections from Tonya to Linda...

maureen - Ha! I knew I could get a "GAH" out of you on this one...

Alex L said...

Scariest thing I've seen for a while is Carrot top... he's really buff. Its really disconcerting.

Carla said...

So many desperate celebrates. Who would have known. But such entertainment for the rest of us.

VE said...

alex - That is very wrong. Weird people shouldn't be allowed to work out...

carla - If they're truly desperate, they're here!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Carrot top always gave me the creeps!

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Carrot top gives everyone the creeps. He probably gives himself the creeps.

Chris C said...

A buddy of mine and myself had this same idea (which was stolen by VH1 a few years back) for a reality show with washed-up celebs from the past.

We called it the Unreality House and I really should make a blog post out of it one of these days hehe.

VE said...

chris c - You should. I suspected there were a lot of these ideas out there; it's such an inviting concept...