Friday, July 17, 2009

Reviver...the Survivor spin off show

Now that the reality TV show that started it all (Survivor) is like a glowing phallic symbol of success and greed, it’s time to milk that thing for a spinoff!

A committee of television execs that don’t watch TV met in a meeting room with day old croissants and warm concentrated orange juice. They came up with this:

That’s right; they’re giving really out-of-touch actors and celebrities a new opportunity. They’ve searched the entire globe for those people that desperately want the limelight but are so “yesterday” they can’t even afford lime soda.

The winner? Yes, the winner receives a starring role in a new TV show. Of course, they never told the contestants that the show would be aired on the Latin Judicial Channel and that it would be cancelled after one season but you know how silly Hollywood is with their details.

Once again, here’s our favorite host that has no other job than to hang around exotic locations and talk with desperate participants while he toys with their heads:

Tune in next post when Jeff breaks down the first team of pathetics…

44 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Hah, first.

Take that Kurt.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Second, but who is counting, not those new contestants for sure.

Mrsupole said...

Thirdly, who gives a damn about washed up and ex actors who the hell can remember their names or faces anyway.

Mrsupole said...

And in fourth place, why do they just not go to the old actors farms, like the race horses where they could just sit and eat and mate with other has beens and then maybe they might could live vicariously through their spawn and we would only have to see them on a rag sheet at the grocery store and still not know their names.

Mrsupole said...

And now my damn arm and shoulder are hurting beyond the egos of these ex's that I will have to get off the computer. Just got up to get a pain pill and could not stop myself. So here is hoping the pill kicks in real quick.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Six places with only one good arm, now that is a record if I say so myself.

Quirkyloon said...

A little note to: Mrsupole Ay yi yi! *smile*

Jeff is the master of messing with heads!

Can't wait for the next "eppy."

heh heh

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Hey, I'm eighth....which is actually really third since Mrs. took the first 6 spots!

The Incredible Woody said...

Let me guess a few of the "stars":

Danny Bonaduce
Leif Garrett
That blond couple - can't remember their names but they think they are really famous - Spencer or something?

VE said...

mrsupole - First is as first does

mrsupole - The new contestants ALWAYS count...well, they count their money

mrsupole - Oh...you'll remember them. But...we do not care and that is what makes this series funny

mrsupole - You mean like take them to the glue factory?

mrsupole - Just combine Head & Shoulders with Arm & Hammer to solve your arm and shoulder problem. I'm a genius...

mrsupole - You almost napped the entire top 10! Wow.

quirkyloon - Kurt is pretty good at messing with my head too...as are the gnomes.

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Give her a little power and BAM! ha ha. It's sort of like when they said "the artist formerly known as Prince" for awhile. You can be "the eighth place formerly known as third."

incredible woody - They wined and cried to be in it but alas, didn't make the final cut. Now you'll just have to wait until Sunday to find out who the first eight are. Muh ha ha

mama-face said...

There are uncelebrities who can't afford lime soda? Who knew?

A travesty.

VE said...

mama-face - It really is sad when you cannot even afford lime soda. They probably have to buy mock-soda or something.

Roy Scribner said...

VE - that show has already been done. You probably remember "Love Boat?"

Dee said...

great I need a new show to watch for a year.

Elizabeth said...

Why do I have a feeling that show would do really well?? Oh, and how freaking early do I have to get up to be "First?" I mean, it's only 8:40 am here!

Jeff said...

That's a great point. Why hasn't there been a Celebrity Survivor yet?

Or has there... I've only seen one episode of the real one so I wouldn't know.

subtorp77 said...

@Roy, HA!( rimshot )You so nailed that one!! Then again, there was "Fantasy Island"....

VE, I remember all those goofy celebrity olympic shows, from the '70's and early '80's. And early precursor, perhaps?

lifeshighway said...

Revivor - stay tuned to see who's the biggest loser.

VE said...

roy - Ha! Good point...but they didn't make them compete to be humiliating...they just gave them humiliating scripts

dee - It's like watching a train wreck!

elizabeth - You'll have to beat out the East Coast folks, they're three hours ahead of you. I vary my scheduled posts between 4:00am to 7:00am

jeff - It's in their contract not to endure any suffering...

subtorp77 - Yeah, celebrities as athletes...that was funny too. But now we need in-tribe bickering and knife stabbing, special designed challenges geared for publicity crazed people and lots of stealth cameras to laugh at them whenever and wherever they are.

lifeshighway - Excellent. You've got the motto down!

ReformingGeek said...

Hum....who will be the first victim?

Sounds like fun.

Megan said...

Can't wait.

Kurt said...

Jeff should totally retire - he must have tens of millions of dollars.

Dalton J. Fox said...

The sad part is that people would actually watch this.

VE said...

megan - You're gonna have to...

kurt - Perhaps he only gets paid a small amount...

dalton - It is the sad part of it...

Janna said...

Reality shows are the pimples on the ass of mankind.

Survivor is a really huge one that hurts whenever mankind sits down.

Worst of all is American Idol, which is actually closer to being a hemorrhoid.

gab said...

Another show real or not that I will not watch. I used to watch some of those Reality shows but I got over it. Oh and I read the spoof and commented wayyyyyy back thereeeeee->->-> you see it?

A Free Man said...

I think they already have this show. It's called "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here"!

Serena said...

Crap-TV sells these days. Apparently, people will watch anything. I predict this show will be a huge success.

Gladys said...

But didn't they just do that show only they called it "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here"?

VE said...

janna - Well, mankind is definitely breaking out with ass acne then!

gab - I always see them! Yes, thanks for catching it. Glad you liked it.

a free man - I should have known...we'll roll with my version anyway.

serena - They will watch anything, won't they?

gladys - Apparently so. But they didn't have pretty boy Jeff and my handpicked host of idiots...

subtorp77 said...

@Janna-"American Idol"=former "Star Search"( or let's go waaay back to "American Bandstand" ). It's a continuous cycle....

VE, I'd say start 'em out on radio but David Lee Roth proved it wouldn't work( ah, wakka, wakka, wakka! )

lime said...

can't we just take the most self-absorbed, out of touch with reality "stars" and maroon them on an island and NOT film them?

VE said...

subtorp77 - Next up...the first team...with commentary.

lime - It's better to film them too but not show it. Then they think they're actually getting another break...

Chris Eldin said...

HAHAHAH! Yes, I for one would watch this. It's like a train wreck, yanno...

subtorp77 said...

VE, oh yes! Gotta have commentary!

Maureen said...

Poor Jeff... if he has to work with ex-celebrities, he definitely needs a raise.

VE said...

chris - Aha...you like to watch train wrecks, eh?

subtorp - And there will be!

maureen - Yes, but it makes him look that much better...

Ronda Laveen said...

Better than Dancing with the Stars.

Jaime said...

reviver sounds better than all those stupid medical dramas and comedies they're airing these days.

Anne said...

my husband came up with a survivor show idea: cast it with death row inmates. If you get voted off, you're offed, the "winner" gets to live.

VE said...

ronda - Anything is better than dancing with the stars...I'm not a big dancer

jaime - The only good show is Sponge-Bob

anne - Ha! Good idea. Didn't they just do a movie where they took death row prisoners and make them drive in a death race for entertainment? I missed that movie at the Academy Awards...

Carla said...

Sounds hilarious.

VE said...

carla - Like watching a train wreck...