Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tom and Bob Discuss Technical Lingo

Tom: “Holy Crap…Bob…I thought you were dead?”

Bob: “No, I was in cryo sleep for the last 40 years.”

Tom: “Wow. You’ve missed a few things”

Bob: “I know. Like the computer you’re on…amazing.”

Tom: “Yeah, I was just fixing my Pop-Up Blocker.”

Bob: “Man, after all these years you still have trouble with THAT? I sure could have used that when I was in my teens during school time. So embarrassing…”

Tom: “No, not that type of pop-up…one to eliminate unwanted windows.”

Bob: “You have windows you don’t want? I could use some. The neighbor kids broke a lot of mine over at the house while I was in cryo sleep.”

Tom: “No, windows is an operating system.”

Bob: “I hope the system works. Operations are serious surgeries.”

Tom: “You don’t understand; its how the computer works. The only problem is that you have to also equip it with protection from things like spyware.”

Bob: “Spyware? What do spies wear these days? I remember those Spy vs Spy characters and they seemed to wear all black or all white. Of course, James Bond always went so formal.”

Tom: “You’re killing me, Bob. Spyware and other protection prevents viruses.”

Bob: “I thought condoms did that.”

Tom: “I can see it’s going to be a long road for you, Bob. Just wait until I get around to cookies, bugs, backdoors, firmware, flash, twitter, my space and so many other things.”

Bob: “Perhaps I should go back into cryo sleep and wait until we develop one of those Star Trek ‘teacher’ devices that instantly catch me up…”

48 comments:

Hit 40 said...

You forgot to let him in on sexting

Baino said...

A bit serious for your blog but . .I often think of my Gran (long gone now) but she saw the advent of electricity, moon walking (not the Michael Jackson type) television, laminex, stainless steel, the jet engine, automatic transmission, automatic washing machines, blenders etc. mini skirts and microwaves to name a few . .the thought of an iPhone and PC would have blown her away! I have just realised that I was one of the first recipients of an Apple Mac in the 80's . .man I'm ancient.

moooooog35 said...

Wait til he hears what we've been putting in his wife's usb port.

Guy's gonna flip.

Mike said...

Who's on first?

Gladys said...

This sounds like a conversation I have with my dad weekly.

Here is a funny for you. Yesterday I was almost ran over by a blue haired old lady (80 ish)in her SUV with spinners while texting and driving. Don't tell me you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Woof Woof.

Mrsupole said...

This is serious fodder. Gosh what did I get to see invented. The most important thing invented was the remote contro. The most important event was the Beatles coming to America. Nothing has ever been as important as that. Oh and we went from the abacas to the slide rule, that was a great invention. But yup nothing beats the Beatles coming to America. But Bob should have been awake for that one.

Yup put him back to sleep for about another 50 years and let's see what happens then. Well he will have missed my funeral, the poor guy, how could he survive missing my furneral. Oh heck, how will I survive missing my funeral.

I got a lot of thinking to do here.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

I meant remote control. Duh.

The Incredible Woody said...

Ha - pop-up blocker! Love it!

Quirkyloon said...

I have the perfect music for your "cryo" guy Bob.

The Crying Game.

heh heh heh

*cue music*

ReformingGeek said...

Poor Bob. When he wakes up again, maybe we will be talking to the computers and they will actually do what we say!

VE said...

hit40 - Sexting? Now how could I forget porn for the cell phone?!

baino - Time flies and it seems we take many of these incredible things for granted...

moooooog35 - Ha! You have me concerned about that too...

mike - Home run!

gladys - Wow, I guess you can't stereotype anybody, can you? Still, I doubt that the senior home down the street is going to have a motorcycle rally anytime soon...

mrsupole - Don't forget about the invention of Pop Tarts. That was almost as big as the Beatles...

incredible woody - Yep...I'm that juvinile...

quirkyloon - Aww quirky...you have music for ANY occasion, don't you?

VE said...

reforminggeek - I'd prefer they do as we mean, not as we say. If it did that, I'd be in trouble everytime I mumble "Well fuck me..."

subtorp77 said...

VE, this kinda reminded me of the movie "Tough Guys", where two ex-cons are not really prepared for the outside world, after 30 years in stir( go find it, if you've never seen it )...

VE said...

subtorp77 - Haven't heard of it. Guess my own cryo sleep is catching up with me...

sybil law said...

Priceless!
:D

VE said...

sybil - Welcome...and thanks.

subtorp77 said...

VE, tell me they didn't freeze your head, separate? LOL! It's from around 1986( the last movie Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas did to-gether with Ione Skye as the "love" interest, if my crusty memory serves me right )

leelee said...

That was fun! My daughter (21) loves to hear my stories from "the olden days" black and white TV...one phone number and 2 phones shared by all in the household..walking to school...you know..ancient stuff from the 60's.

HUGS!

Megan said...

I'm reading a book right now in which Alpha Centauri goes nova and there's this huge EMP and all electronics, microchips, etc in the world die. Utter chaos is about to ensue...

VE said...

subtorp77 - Oh...now I do remember that. I don't know if I've actually seen it but I do remember the movie. I suppose I could have looked it up myself if I didn't have such sloth-like tendencies...

leelee - Isn't that such fun? Things like actually having to lick stamps and go to the bank to get cash are just a hoot to them!

megan - That is so weird! I have an entry in my idea journal dated May 2, 2002 that says "Another story concept: An intense electro-magnetic wave passes across Earth. You could explore this eith as complete loss of data or partial and then how each side is affected." Isn't that weird? Guess I should have acted sooner...

Mike WJ at Too Many Mornings said...

What's a computer? I use a typewriter with a TV hooked to it. Works great as long as I keep the rabbit ears up.

Kurt said...

I have a Mac and a PC, and they both suck.

Nessa said...

Bob was always a trouble maker.

The first frozen guy, Dr. James Bedford, was cooled 42 years ago.

Roy Scribner said...

Sounds like Tom surfs a lot of pr0n. Oh, and hey Bob, all pr0n is now free - even cryo pr0n!

VE said...

mike wj - Yeah...but it's a hassle putting in the little white out strips between the ink ribbon and the paper...

nessa - He'll be just as useless when he wakes up...

roy - Don't tell him that. Now he'll never want to wake up...

Jeff said...

Wonder what he would think YouTube is? Probably a really lousy waterpark where you have to bring your own.

VE said...

jeff - Ha! Either that or a self-vascetemy clinic...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

40 years ago he wouldn't even have been privy to "Pong."

A Free Man said...

Actually, 'that' kind of pop-up blocker would have been a life-saver in 7th grade Algebra.

Serena said...

I find that old people have the same level of techno-savvy. I'm never getting old. Or frozen.;)

Janna said...

And of course there's the whole part about shutting down by hitting the "start" button, and having wallpaper on your desktop.

It's a wonder I can understand that, yet still have trouble remembering where I put the clean pair of socks I want to wear tomorrow.

Jaime said...

that was like an abbott and costello routine. who's on first.

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - I'll bet he knew ping though ;)

a free man - I know; numerical coefficients were such a turn on!

serena - Eventually the pioneers of PCs will be the old men...

janna - That's because socks are inherently tricky...don't trust them

jaime - A classic all its own!

Chris C said...

Wait until Bob sees the 2 Girls 1 Cup video. He might opt to back to cryo sleep after seeing that.

Megan said...

Just checked the born on date. Published 1998...

VE said...

chris c - You're right. There are so many things he might see that could cause him to head right back to the cryo sleep...

megan - Ah well. That is how ideas go. I can have what I think is a unique idea and it may well have been thought up by somebody else way before me unbenownst to me. With over 6 billion people on the planet; that's more and more likely all the time.

Wow said...

I thought there was no technical solution for taking people out of cryo sleep still?

VE said...

wow - An alarm clock perhaps?

Ronda Laveen said...

Bob in cyro sleep? Was he next to Ted Willliam?

lime said...

worse than for poor rip van winkle, eh?

VE said...

ronda - He doesn't know...he was asleep during all the move ins

lime - Apparently so. Kind of says, take what you got and enjoy it while you can...

nursemyra said...

tweet tweet

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

Backdoors? Do they have something to do with pop-ups?

Gawd, is that too crude, or what?

VE said...

nursemyra - Your time is coming, girl...tomorrow...muh ha ha

arizona - Ha! You went there and I didn't...what is world coming to?

Maureen said...

I heart Spy Vs Spy...

But they were much more violent back in the 70's... just like every other kiddie cartoon and comic.

Man, I miss those days.

VE said...

maureen - Spy vs spy, Roger Ramjet, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Looney Tunes...good times.

Elizabeth said...

I wonder what he'd think about using a mouse with his computer!

VE said...

elizabeth - True...as long as they don't byte!