Friday, August 14, 2009

Let VE be your Travel Guide

Having traveled so much and having had all these whacky adventures, I’ve decided that I’d use that as my niche in the ever changing vacation travel market. I’ve Let VE be your guide. You can stay in wonderfully obscure hostels

I’d recommend getting there on a Wednesday. Bathroom cleaning is on Tuesday and so it’ll look a little better than getting there on Saturday and finding this:

Not to worry, they do try and accommodate their guests. There’s free computer time and internet in every room.

And when you’re not lounging around the hostel, you can partake of a number of activities VE has planned for you.

Hiking…

Biking...

Surfing Lessons…

Operators are standing by…

46 comments:

subtorp77 said...

VE, believe it or not; I've seen a worse loo...got dizzy just looking at the hiking and biking "trails"( yikes! ). That last shot of the surfer shark tho'; way cool! But what about transport?

Chris Eldin said...

LOL! I think you're on to something...

The Incredible Woody said...

Dude! Turn around! There's a shark out there!!

Hit 40 said...

I was thinking that wave looked just great! What's wrong with surfing....

I obviously need more coffee before I go out and drive.

freetheunicorns said...

That hiking getaway looks interesting. What kind of special rates are you offering?

Jacki said...

And here I planned our trip to Denmark all by myself, when I could have had your travel expertise.

moooooog35 said...

* ding

You are now free to roam about the country and, potentially, die a horrible, horrible death.

Anne said...

That's a great shot of the surfer! I think my surfboard would need sides. Like maybe the size of a cruise ship.

Kurt said...

I've used a couple of those photos myself, you know. Good stuff.

ettarose said...

VE, you know the motel is just a Motel6 right. Stayed there once, well actually checked in.... and right back out!

Jaime said...

i don't know...with all your misadventures, i'd likely get myself killed if you were my guide. i think i'll pass. but maybe one of the gnomes knows of a good vacation destination.

Quirkyloon said...

VE? Thanks, but no thanks.

VE doesn't always bring good things to life!

Ha!

Starrlight said...

Jeebus. I have seen Frat Houses with nicer bathrooms!

VE said...

subtorp77 - I have to. There was a squatter in Malaysia that was simply a hole in the floor. There was no TP at all...the walls were full of excrement from people wiping it on their with their hands. I walked in, took one look, and walked out. I never ate a thing for like 24 hours after that either.

chris - Yeah...trouble...

incredible woody - I've seen sharks surfing, but not THAT size of one

Megan said...

I really didn't need to see that bathroom picture this early in the morning.

VE said...

hit40 - Who needs a surf board when you can just ride a huge shark?

freetheunicorns - Well, I've got about 20 waivers for you to sign in order to clear me should you actually die...

jacki - Just think what I could have come up with! It would have been great blog fodder had you lived...

VE said...

moooooog35 - You got it! That's my motto...

anne - Probably safer...but then there was the Titanic...

kurt - I suspected as much. I seem to remember the bike one.

VE said...

ettarose - I've stayed in some hotels that would scare most people. I remember one in Lima, Peru in particular. I still shiver at the thought...

jaime - The gnomes do, but they'll just trick you into attempting a camera shoot in Somolia or something. My adventures probably won't kill you but you might wish they had...

quirkyloon - 4 out 5 zombies recommend my travels though

VE said...

starrlight - And that is saying something!

megan - Just pretend you didn't see it. Focus on the big shark instead. There, don't you feel better now?

Winky Twinky said...

Uhhh... yeah. Thanks for the trip VE... it was quite an adventure, but I could have lived my whole life without having seen that bathroom (heaves)

VE said...

winky twinky - Oh come on now...a little 409 and a swiffer and it'll be fine...

ReformingGeek said...

I'm a little concerned about the lodging and those hiking/biking trails did not look ADA compliant.

I'm glad there is a petting zoo in the water. That is just too cool.

VE said...

reforminggeek - Yes, ADA guidelines don't hold up as well overseas...

Bonnie the Boss said...

I am guessing the sign in the hiking pictures says "DANGER" or "Mind your step".Ü

subtorp77 said...

VE, lemme tell ya about Peru...then again maybe not. You might not eat for a week! And I've seen sharks that big( but at a very safe distance while standing topside watch, with my trusty M-14 rifle, heh, heh )

@Quirkyloon, rimshot! Good one there-LOL!

Debo Hobo said...

The one of the hiking ?path? on the side of the mountain makes my stomach queasy

Baino said...

Erm, no thanks, I like a flushing loo and a chocolate on my pillow!

VE said...

bonnie - I thought perhaps "Go back"

subtorp77 - Ah, sounds like maybe you have some stories from Peru too. Actually, I really liked Peru...just not Lima.

Debo - I could do it. I've rock climbed all my life...even though I have a moderate fear of heights. It's located somewhere in China by-the-way...

baino - Careful, I think the brown thing on the pillow at this place is definitely NOT chocolate...

Roy Scribner said...

Being that I spent all week in D.C. I can really relate to all of those photos.

Elizabeth said...

Thanks, but I don't think I'm leaving the country again for a long long time! And that shark picture is going to give me nightmares!

Ronda Laveen said...

The Traveling Gnomes didn't do their job and scout this out did they? The gnomes are slipping.

Maureen said...

Um. I'll pass thanks.

That surfer better not Hang 10. He'll only come home with 2.

subtorp77 said...

VE, you as well? Well then you know part of the untold story...

VE said...

roy - I remember staying in a closet of a room in DC once...

elizabeth - YOU have earned your rest...

ronda - Actually they're laughing. They love watching my disasters

maureen - Really? I'd get to keep two toes? That's not bad...

subtorp77 - Yeah, I took a trip to Machu Picchu a few years ago.

subtorp77 said...

VE, first thing we saw upon arrival to Peru( now remember I was in the Navy at the time ); the harbour was filled with bombed out ships( bombs provided by the...ahem...Red Menace, as it was known at that time ) The loos that were holes in the walls ( literally ), were the cleaner ones!!!

Anyway, do we get a banana boat for transport or what?

tony said...

.........The Sydney Opera House? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wilderbeest sweeping majestically . . .?"

VE said...

subtorp77 - Yeah, I would imagine you ported in some lovely places...

tony - Maybe the spewing chum buckets of Babylon...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

My legs got all giggly just looking at those hiking trails!

Gladys said...

I should have let you book my trip then maybe we wouldn't have had a "close call" on the runway.

mama-face said...

Is that bathroom cleaner on the edge of the tub? That bathroom will give me nightmares for sure.

VE said...

perpetual chocholic - Giggly legs is a debiliting disease...ask your doctor if VE travel is right for you...

gladys - Close call? I thought that's when the guy sitting next to you calls your cell phone...

mama-face - You and I both know it'll take a wee bit more than that bathroom cleaner to fix that bathroom

Janna said...

Suddenly I feel the need to clean my bathroom.

And to avoid hiking, surfing, and biking.

Forever.

Mrsupole said...

Gosh VE, I asked you when I sent you the pictures of my bathroom and computer to not post them on your site, but you just had to go and do it. See if I send you anymore pictures of them, and after all the cleaning I had done before I took those shots.

But you know the sad thing is that you can go to countries where people live in those little shantytown houses. I remember seeing many of those types of shacks when we lived in Panama and all you can do is think how sad that people have to live like that. And I have been to many gas stations and seen bathrooms that are not much better than the one in the picture.

I think that you have seen some things that many of us are very lucky to have never seen. You have traveled to many places that I think I would never want to visit.

Have you ever thought about writing a book about your visits? I think that it would be a great book because only you would be able to spoof a really sad place and make it fun. Or you could write the tourism guides for them, I bet their tourism increases.

God bless.

VE said...

janna - I have that effect on people...

mrsupole - I'm working on a book. But I sort of go sidetracked by writing a different book...a fiction novel with suspence and mystery. I have no idea why; it is just sort of writing itself through me. I'm into it over 100 pages already.

lime said...

holy crap, a staycation never looked so good.

VE said...

lime - Those can be relaxing if you do like me and avoid all work related activities and take no responsibility around the house...