Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Sex is like Dinner

Sex is like dinner. Dinner is like sex. I’ll connect the dots in a second.

First off, dinner. Do you get bored figuring out what to have for dinner every single day of your life? Some people do and some people do not. You are either in one of those camps.

Doers. The people that do; basically they see things on face value. How many different ways of cooking chicken are you going to attempt? It’s still just having chicken. You’ll end up having a bazillion dinners of chicken over your lifetime. Oh, you’re a vegetarian? Ok, then how many different ways are you going to have a salad? It’s still salad. Think about it clinically; you probably have about a dozen or so main dinner staples that you continually cycle through. Is it any wonder it gets boring? From that point of view the mundane ritual of dinner is an exercise of repeat and burden. There’s no excitement or inspiration. You look for a way to fill it in and get it done with.

Do Notters. The people that don’t; they see dinner as an opportunity. The combinations and possibilities are endless. The varieties of taste, texture, smell and presentation are an invitation to creativity and experimentation. Sometimes they go out, sometimes they improvise and sometimes they follow well-used traditional recipes handed down from generation to generation.

Next off, sex. Why for the majority of the population is it that sex with their permanent partner dwindles with time? It seems to dwindle in interest. It seems to dwindle in frequency. It’s because you have to visit the dinner methodology again. How do you perceive your dinner? How do you perceive your sexual relations? Are you going in and simply cooking chicken…again…to fill in the time because you lack the imagination to do anything else? How many positions are in your arsenal for a typical sexual scenario? Same exact ones every time? Same order? Same place? Same routine? And you have to ask yourself just how excited either of you will be about cooking chicken yet again for another night.

Yeah, I’ve got a whacked sense of analogies in comparing sex and dinner. Only VE would do that. But I’ll bet it resonates anyway. Me? I'm off for a culinary adventure...

50 comments:

subtorp77 said...

VE, interesting analogy. I guess I'd be a "Do Notter" by your definition. What?

subtorp77 said...

Ever wonder why there's so many diffent kinds of pasta? I mean it all tastes the same no matter what you call it; it's still pasta, right? Right?

freetheunicorns said...

But I like chicken. Many different kinds of chicken. I also like to have chicken in a car and in a tree, anywhere that I may be.

The Incredible Woody said...

I guess that would explain why my husband fell asleep last night during something I really thought he shouldn't!

Kurt said...

Do Notters, indeed!

Winky Twinky said...

Makes perfect sense to me...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I never get tierd of chocolate.

ReformingGeek said...

Ok. Ok. I'll find some pork to cook tonight or in the morning or next month...on his birthday...er...huh?

El said...

You're not weird marrying sex with food. There are oodles of descriptions of sex that involve food.
e.g., I love salad for dinner but I will absolutely positively definitely NOT toss the salad.
Oh, dear, I've said too much.
:going back to silent following:

Gladys said...

So I'm guessing you'll be replaying the refrigerator scene from 9 1/2 Weeks?

I am from the Julia Child School of thought...you can never have too much butter and Bon Apetite'!

Can you tell I'm a Do Notter?

VE said...

subtorp77 - Ha! Yes, there are a lot of kinds of pasta but I find a distinct difference between...say Angel pasta and lasagna pasta. Add to that spinach pastas vs other pastas and then couple that with the myriad of stuff you can cook it with or add to it and...well yikes, it's not the same after that.

freetheunicorns - Ha! I understand what you are saying to me, Mr. Unicorn-trying-to-be-set-free...

incredible woody - You mean it was his turn to make dinner and he fell asleep? Not good! ;)

kurt - Yep, I'm abusing the English language again and making up words. I don't care...

winky tinky - Sounds like you can cook...

perpetual chocoholic - Hence, you're blog name. Yes, chocolate doesn't let you down either...

reforminggeek - Just remember, it's somebody's birthday every single day!

El - Ha! Too late. I know you're out there now...watching...

gladys - As long as I don't end up looking like Mickey Rourke afterwards. Oh, and that butter comment...that's good advice!

moooooog35 said...

You're right...sex IS like dinner.

I end up cooking for myself constantly.

Jeff said...

I like to eat DURING sex. Food that is.

Chris Eldin said...

AHAHAHAHAHA!

But, oh man. If you're going to take wifey-poo for chicken dinner in the woods where there are steroid bees and lightning storms, um.....how is she supposed to enjoy the chicken?
;-)

Quirkyloon said...

Mmm. Chicken salad! hee hee

VE said...

moooooog35 - Ha! That is such a moog comment! I expect nothing less...

jeff - I wouldn't recommend the brats at that particular time...

chris - An excellent point. It's hard to enjoy the chicken when you're playing one under a lightening storm...

quirkyloon - There you go combining my metaphores! Shame on you! ;)

lime said...

well, i must be just as whacked. i think the biggest problem is when a does settles down with a do notter. very aggravating to get all excited about a new recipe and the "other diner" looks at it and yawns, "oh, chicken again, meh?"

lime said...

additionally, it's problematic when one diner just loves the same dish so much he's unwilling to try any other recipes when the cook is raring to show what variety she can whip up.


yeah, you ever need a metaphor extended, i'm your girl.

Ronda Laveen said...

Hey! Quit peeping!

Roy Scribner said...

Hmm, tastes like chicken.

Anne said...

i always go back to the same chicken recipe. it always works. sometimes it cooks a little faster than other times. sometimes it's spicier than others. sometimes I have two pieces, occasionally it's not so good. Over the course of 20 years, I've cooked chicken 5 or 6000 times. I'm still happy.

Nessa said...

I eat dessert first. that way i am always satisfied and grinning.

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Uncivil said...

I've always been a fast eater?

Uncivil said...

I like fast food too!

VE said...

lime - Those two don't mix at all! Yes, I see you are very adept at metaphors...

ronda - Well I'm a peeper, I'm a beeper, I'm a midnight sweeper, I get my...oh, never mind.

roy - Always does...

anne - You have a love of chicken there!

nessa - And that way if you're too full, you can pass on the meal instead...good plan!

uncivil - This doesn't bode well!

Megan said...

I'm more of a not-haver, myself.

Jaime said...

i'm starved... and very curious to see your take on the kiss theme tomorrow.

yellojkt said...

What if you like having meatloaf for dinner every night.

Janna said...

It's 9:35 in the evening and I still haven't had dinner yet.

I was just about to cook some smoky bratwursts until I read this.

Now I can't decide whether I'm
(1) afraid to eat bratwurst ever again, or
(2) craving it more than ever.

They're the really thick ones.
You bite into them and they squirt...

VE said...

megan - Not haver? I hate when somebody tells me that! Why can't I have her? ;)

Anonymous said...

My late-husband (God rest his soul) was my first and only until dropped dead on me. I vividly remember our first time and thinking "Is that it?" Sadly, that was it. I would count the strokes while thinking "Get off, get out, and get off of me." I also remember thinking that I would be perfectly happy if I never had sex again. I really hated the "noodle treatment." All of you ladies know what I mean. I do have 2 wonderful daughters for my trouble, though.
I married again almost 2 years ago. I was shocked to discover that sex doesn't suck after all!
Ame in TN

Brian Miller said...

i challenge the myth that it dwindles in frequency and spontenaity...smiles.

Quickroute said...

Movie - Nine and a half weeks

food and sex go hand in hand or mouth as it were!

VE said...

jaime - I have a special fiction story for that one...

VE said...

yellojkt - Meatloaf is not chicken...I'd be concerned... ;)

VE said...

janna - Ha! Now there's a metaphore...

VE said...

ame - Wow, it's never to late as they say! Wet noodle...is that a pasta dish?

VE said...

brian - Ha! Challenge it, my friend! Challenge it!

VE said...

quickroute - Funny...I've never seen that movie; I've heard a lot about it.

JeffScape said...

Hah! Brilliant finish.

Mrsupole said...

And then there is me. I got in trouble, I think it was last week for saying that I have sex everyday. I see nothing wrong with that. I eat dinner every day. I like to try new meals all the time, huh, I mean new sex all the time.

The way I heard is that the more sex I give my hubby the longer he will live. Do you think he hit the jackpot for the "fountain of youth". Oh I like chicken, I like beef, pork, pasta, salads, soups, vegetables, fruits, desserts, rice, breads. I like them cooked all kinds of ways, trust me when you are doing it everyday, you gotta think of more ways to fix it than you could possibly think existed.

Dang it VE, you got too much on your mind. Or is it my mind.

God bless.

Maureen said...

Oh man, I really hope you don't end up pitching a new idea for a cooking show... the Food Network will never be the same again!

VE said...

Jeffscape - It's the best place to go...

mrsupole - Sounds like you have a smorgasbourgh going there! That'll keep you smiling!

maureen - Hey, if MTV can end up with no music videos than I turn the food network into porn! I hire moooooog35 to help...

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

If I may paraphrase Yoda: "Do, or do notter, there is no chicken."

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I just read your stupid thought of the day and snorted. Too funny.

VE said...

arizona - That Yoda...he was wise. No wonder he lived to about 800 years...

arizona - I've always wondered about that product name...

Hit 40 said...

I do like to try new restaurants??

VE said...

hit40 - THere you go...that's the ticket!

Elizabeth said...

I just had Spaghetti O's on toast and absolutly loved them. I have very unsophisticated tastes in food, I wonder what that says about me? Wait, I don't want to know.
BTW, I don't know if you went to Nanchang when you were in China, but it had the best food I've ever tasted. And I don't like Chinese food, but this stuff was amazing!

VE said...

elizabeth - I haven't been there but I agree...you have to go there to appreciate Chinese food because it is different than here.