Wednesday, August 19, 2009

We Know...

First off...for those inquiring minds...yes, VE was #11 (the devil baby). You knew I wouldn't let you down on that... Now on to the funny...

I knew they were here. They’ve been here for a long time. The evidence was all around us. No human would have produced this for consumption:

They were everywhere. They’d infiltrated our movies. No human would have directed this:

They were controlling our TV. No human would have produced this show:

They were in our heads via the radio. No human would have recorded this:

So VE went underground with his investigative gnome staff to gather the evidence. Don’t mess with the gnomes when they want to find something. We found their fake 70s outfit..

We found their fake footwear…

We even found their highly camouflaged home…

And we did what any self respecting gnome would do. We filled a paper bag full of Tang and lit it on fire on their porch and then rang the doorbell and ran.

But now they know we know…

59 comments:

subtorp77 said...

The Jerry Van Dyke show was ere my time but I know the song ( unfortunately ). My! the gnomes Have been busy!

And the only song worse than "Muskrat Love"( which we hear nightly on the store playlist-GAAAAH! ), is the parody "Hampster Love"...really, you don't wanna know...

subtorp77 said...

And I had no idea pork brains were so high in colesteral( ick! )

Anne said...

i can't get past the pork brains in a can.

Mrsupole said...

EWWWWWWWWW is all I can say.

God bless.

Matt-Man said...

At least in that house, if a kid is being bad he won't be made to go sit in the corner. Cheers!!

Roy Scribner said...

VE, you know the first rule of Captain & Tennille Club is don't talk about Captain & Tennille Club!

mama-face said...

I loves me some Pork Brains...fried in butter even better.

A paper bag full of Tang...LOL

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Muskrat Love was elevated to new heights once I heard Billy Bob Thornton sing it in "Pushing Tin."

And thanks for the spoof. I suspect your gnomes are trying to get into my header. Maybe we can work something out for some...ah...herb.

The Incredible Woody said...

Hey, I know where that house is!!

Candie Bracci said...

LMAO!!!!!WT...Yes you are right!

Winky Twinky said...

OMG, the pork brains look like instant stroke in a can... So, are you one of those gnomes....hhmmmm?

Candie Bracci said...

shit they know that we know..oh!LOL

Beth said...

I'm back - and delighted to see you're still taking care of important/vital matters for the rest of us. ;)

(Tang?)

VE said...

subtorp77 - I think I'll take your word on the Hampster Love parody. I feel for you if the original must be heard more than once in a lifetime...

anne - I think the vegetarian movement should use that can as it's spokeperson toward convincing others to join...

VE said...

mrsupole - And you've said it well!

matt-man - Ha! Good point. Actually...the legs are hollow; they stuff them down those.

VE said...

roy - Ssssh...you're headin' up the whole California chapter...

mama-face - Ha! That's the kind of twisted perverse answer I like. Take a stand (and some cholestoral pills)

VE said...

prefers - Ha! Perhaps we can. The gnomes love messin' with headers.

incredible woody - Sssh...it's a huge secret...

VE said...

candie - They know we know...let's all go to Reno. See...I just have them a whole new jingle.

winky twinky - I don't gnome what you are talking about!

VE said...

beth - Yeah, you're back. No bears I hope. Now you should be ashamed of yourself for missing all of the important posts here. Stand in a corner until you finish reading all the back posts...or not.

subtorp77 said...

Only thing more explosive than TANG in a bag, would be to replace it with powdered coffee creamer( not that I would know that or anything )...oops!

VE said...

subtorp77 - Really? That's explosive stuff, eh? I'm sensing you got into a lot of mischief when you were young. I'll send the gnomes over to see if you're worthy of an honorary gnome title (just don't let them pin it on you...)

subtorp77 said...

VE, I discovered that one much later, in the Navy, heh, heh...but I figured if TANG could do that, well why not cof....hey back! Get back! The gnomes have invaded!( using secret weapon... )Take that! And that! Oops! Sorry 'bout that; was havin a flash-back!

VE said...

subtorp77 - They weren't my gnomes. My gnomes never get up before 11am...

Quirkyloon said...

VE, that hairy shirt was disgusting with a capital DIS!

Ugh.

AND...one of your gnomes has gone rogue!

I'm seeing on the Travelocity commercials.

Time to bring out the belt and get that gnome and bring him back where he belongs...safe in the hair of your arm pit!

Grossed out?

Good! hee hee

subtorp77 said...

Uh...whoops! Well, I won't have to worry about these particular gnomes then. They shouls have identified themselves..silly...

ReformingGeek said...

I think you need to wear one of those shirts and the shoes while singing Muskrat Love. You can take a picture of yourself outside of the spaceship house.

Oh, those are just photos?

Oh well.

Megan said...

Now that's what I call investigative journalism!

Alan Smithee said...

Pork brains aren't very good, unless they're in milk gravy!

Kurt said...

Oh Alan!

Elizabeth said...

Hey, my grandma used to eat pork brains, but no canned stuff for her. Nope she got them fresh from the butcher. *shudder*
And I didn't know people did that with Tang. In my town they used dog poop.

VE said...

reforminggeek - Then I'd be one of them...

megan - Our a delusion dump from the mind of VE...we'll go with your conclusion...

VE said...

Alan - Is there really any other kind of gravy?

kurt - When it comes to Alan...you're such a yes man.

VE said...

elizabeth - The tang symbolizes the outer space connection and scares them. The dog poop would just look like another pork brain snack to them...

Baino said...

I have a friend in South Carolina that actually eats those things . . pork brains . .milk in a can . . God I'm gagging just thinking about them. At least you filled the paper bag full of Tang . .some would have put something else in it!

Gladys said...

I commented earlier about Scully and Mulder. I've lost it though.

V.E. the trolls got me again. ONce again I commented this morning and when I check back to see if you slipped in a secret post I see my comment has disappared. Why do the trolls not like me? Am I not stinky enough?

Uncivil said...

I prefer my pork brains with scrambled eggs. Yeah, I like my brains scrambled?

VE said...

baino - I can't imagine anyone eating that...

VE said...

gladys - Well this one made it. I don't know what is going on. Perhaps the aliens know. I mean they know that we know...you know?

VE said...

uncivil - Knowing what a republican you are...I can totally see you with scrambled brains. ;)

Ronda Laveen said...

I'm lookin' for some Muskrat Love in a can. Gnome help please.

Gladys said...

VE, it's Elizabeth and Janaverse. They are the aliens that is why they have one more comment than me. I would watch out if I were you or at least call Mulder.

Brian Miller said...

lol. tang, eh? did you wear your aluminum foil hat to make sure to scramble the waves they are sending...if that shirt is real, you know someone is wearing it somewhere and that thought beats pork brains any day.

Janna said...

So, at some point there had to be this conversation:

Joe-Bob: Y'know, Billie Sue, I really like them there Pork Brains, but how can we find a way to get rich mass-marketing them for all them weak-kneed Yankees up there?

Billie-Sue: Oooh, I know! Let's stick 'em in a can with some MILK GRAVY! Milk gravy can fix ANYTHING. Them suckers'll be irresistible!

Joe-Bob: 'Ats why I love ya, Billie-Sue. Put down that cigar and come gimme a smooch. Bring a beer with ya.

Jaime said...

that shirt is horrible! burn it!

VE said...

ronda - Ha! Now that would be interesting. I think you could sell it to the Japanese; they'll buy weird crap like that...

gladys - They might be; I haven't confirmed that possibility yet...

brian - I always wear the aluminum hat...it messes with the security guys at the airport. They hate me...

janna - I see you've been to the south...

jaime - Does hair burn or just melt?

Janna said...

Gladys said:
"it's Elizabeth and Janaverse. They are the aliens"

Drat. Now I have to visit Gladys with my memory-erasing Zap-O-Ray this weekend.
As if my schedule wasn't already full.

VE said...

janna - It's tough being an alien!

lime said...

i'm not sure which is more disturbing, the hairy t-shirt or the captain and tenille.

lime said...

i'm not sure which is more disturbing, the hairy t-shirt or the captain and tenille.

VE said...

lime - Oh come on now...you secretly had this record too, didn't you? ;)

Maureen said...

That shirt literally made my skin crawl.

VE said...

maureen - Come on...it was the 70s look!

nursemyra said...

well I love me a hairy chest ;-)

Dee said...

the feet and shirt photos creeped me out.

VE said...

nursemyra - I'm sure there are one or two left that don't shave...

dee - As they should...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

milk gravy?

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

Pork Brain?? IS that for real?? YUK!

And that hairy shirt is a great way to keep women away!! lol! EWWWW! I wonder how it would look on me???

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