Friday, September 11, 2009

Going Green

First...be sure to catch my new poll (after my picture of the day...I have two different polls now) and vote on what you'd like VE to write his next crazy fiction story about...

It’s time people…put down those Ding Dongs and Snickerdoodles. Turn that mega-plasma satellite-driven TV off. You need to go “green”. Come on, join VE and jump on the band wagon (which is now driven by energy efficient corn husks). Come see just how green VE is…

The Car

First of all, the wifey-poo needs a vehicle for her full-time outside sales job. What better to do it in is this brand new all-electric luxury sedan I found for her.

Note her pleasing smile as she makes sure it is locked during a recent hiking trip. We don’t want somebody stealing this beauty! Note the bumpers too…extremely safe should you approach any 18-inch tall vehicle. Another benefit of the car is that it works terrific as a ramp for your BMX-riding teens as well as moving refrigerators in and out of your house.

The House

You need to minimize materials. Let the Earth help you. As you can see from my house, I’m not going to be buying roofing materials anytime soon.

Living in a cave has many benefits. For example, the next time somebody tries to make you feel foolish because you don’t know the latest trashy celebrity scandal or what fashion faux-pa is now going around and they say “unless you’ve been living in a cave” then you can say, “Well, as a matter of fact I have been.”

The Other Stuff

Ok, sure, you love waking up the neighbors at 7am on Sunday morning with your mega-drive gas mower. Yeah, it’s fun to see them red eyed and woozy at Church. But channel your prankish ways somewhere else. You’re not being green. Try VE’s lawn care solution:

That’s right; you’ll even get your cardio in. If you have to be a techno, go ahead an mount the GPS unit to it so you look cool…

53 comments:

subtorp77 said...

VE, love the cave house! I'm on the "green-way", so to speak....

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

WooHoo! I'm number two! It takes so little to please me!

Sarah said...

I am buying one of those bike mowers for the hubby - it combines his two fav activities!!!

Jacki said...

Peter has been hinting around that he'd like a riding lawnmower, since it takes him a good two hours to mow the yard. I think the bike would be perfect.

Roy Scribner said...

I'm a bit green, but I think that's because somebody left the cream cheese out.

Elizabeth said...

That car looks like it was made out of a Pacer. Or maybe a Gremlin? Very cool!

Quirkyloon said...

Wait. Wifey Poo went hiking with flip-flops on?

I can't get past that one.

All I see are blisters.

Ugh.

hee hee

VE said...

subtorp77 - We don't have green-ways here...it's all green.

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Do you do that with the lottery too?

VE said...

sarah - Excellent. I believe the seat is adjustible too...

VE said...

jacki - Replacing the grass with a skatepark really cuts down on maintenance, you know!

VE said...

roy - I told you to get more ice for the camping cooler...

VE said...

elizabeth - I have no idea. I thought it was made out of cheese...it's cut that way.

VE said...

quirkyloon - You are much too clever! Actually, she wears the flip-flops before and after the hike; she has proper hiking boots with her. I wear sandals hiking though. I never wear flip-flops; they impact your leg muscles over time because you can't take a normal stride with them. Look it up!

Gladys said...

Now see I get the whole cave thing since I live in a barn. so when I forget to close the door and my husband asks if I was raised in a barn well duh! The only thing that would make that car any more green besides the color would be to add pedal power.

VE said...

gladys - I see your point. I try not to raise my own children... they're getting too heavy to lift.

Bunk Strutts said...

People in stone houses shouldn't throw glass. Just sayin'.

VE said...

bunk - We don't allow paper around the house either because we all know what happens in the rock/paper/scissors game...

Janna said...

Every time I see one of those itty bitty cars, I can't help but think of this.

Love the cave-house, though, even if I keep wondering about the phallic chimney thing pointing off the roof.

Megan said...

I like the cave house. I could live in it if I had to. Thank god I don't have to.

VE said...

janna - Yes, I hope they were skinny...

VE said...

megan - It's so easy...even a caveman could...

Jaime said...

i'm a little afraid of what you'd come up with if "naked in the white house" wins the poll... :)

Bonnie the Boss said...

As much as I Love the car I think the bike is my fave, can I put in an order and you will make me one?

VE said...

jaime - Hehe..yes, who knows what I will do...not even the gnomes know that one.

VE said...

bonnie - Absolutely. Do you want to bling version or the standard model?

subtorp77 said...

@Janna...ouchies! Iremember an episode of "The Rockford Files" where Jim was sandwiched like that in an alley-way( gah! Not the Trans-Am! )

Uncivil said...

That car makes the Toyota Prius look like a luxury car?
Al Gore would be proud. I'd like to put my carbon footprint in his ass!!!!!

ReformingGeek said...

I read Quirky's comment and I have seen a girl attempt a hike in flip-flops. She turned around when she got to the steep part of the hike. Those things would have fallen to pieces had she attempted that part.

I'm glad to hear she has boots. I see a lot of folks with the hiking sandals. Whatever works!

That is certainly a car I would buy - NOT!

Alex L said...

That car is stylin! Can you wash an electric car? It seems dangerous...

Kanrei said...

I added your blog to my feed on facebook via NetworkedBlogs so I can not easily follow you. Let me know if there are nay negative repercussions, such as spam as a result. I gave them noting about you except http://vehow.blogspot.com/

Bonnie the Boss said...

The bling, are you kidding, what kind of self respecting, crazy neighbor, would I be without the bling?

Kurt said...

I remember that electric car from somewhere.

VE said...

uncivil - Al Gore? Sure, I'll send him right over. Oh, and you can call him Al...

VE said...

reforminggeek - The Pacific Crest Trail, all 2600 miles of it has been done in sandals.

VE said...

alex - It does sound dangerous. One great excuse not to have to wash your car! Bonus...

VE said...

kanrei - Not adverse effects so far. I do keep getting some Chinese language email to my
"Name Game" post but that's about it

lime said...

that car looks like it was made out of legos or something. the house i'd consider....especially if it meant i coudl avoid celebrity news that way.

Carla said...

Gotta love the bumper on that car. House, rather interesting. I wouldn't want it to come tumbling down on me.

VE said...

bonnie - I should have known...

kurt - Then you must have been here in Oregon...

lime - It might be safer if it were...

carla - I'm sure it is sturdier than most houses constructed...

Jeff said...

I would totally drive one of those cars. We already have to plug our cars in for the winter here anyway (so they'll start on the cold mornings, for those who have no idea what I'm talking about) so it might as well be an electric one!

Anne said...

Dad would say "go mow the lawn" and mom would say "quit riding your bike across the lawn."

VE said...

jeff - You'd need that sunroof too...so your head could fit!

anne - Ha! Sometimes...you just can't win!

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

"As a matter of fact I have been." -- Very funny, VE. And the house is cool, too--probably literally.

VE said...

MikeWJ - You're right...caves are wonderful at staying cool.

Ronda Laveen said...

If you bought me a car like that, I wouldn't be the wifey poo any longer.

Maureen said...

Love the cave... no painting, but then again I wouldn't want to be inside during an avalanche.

VE said...

ronda - Ha! Good one. I agree.

VE said...

maureen - Not a lot of avalanches on such a small independent cave like that though.

Mrsupole said...

That is a strange looking car, but I like the cave house even better. Any place out of this fricking heat would be great. We are going back into the triple digits again this week. I am sick of this heat. When is winter coming back?

God bless.

VE said...

mrsupole - Triple digits? Where do you live, Death Valley, CA? Actually, we'll be back up into the low 90s later this week so I shouldn't make fun...

Mrsupole said...

Hi again,

I live about 60 miles east of LA, and about 45 miles west of Palm Springs, or thereabouts. So it is kinda or almost the desert, or it is the area below the pass where they are always showing the big rigs blown over by the Santa Ana winds. And we are also located close to Big Bear Mountain or as they like to call it out here, the Inland Empire. Not sure who's empire it belongs to.

But usually when they show some big fire anywhere east of LA, I can just step out my front door and see the smoke or the fire. We are having more and more fires each year. A few years ago when over a million had to be evacuated, the fires came within a few miles of our house, but we were lucky and did not have to evacuate. Other friends and family did and we know someone who's house burnt to the ground last year. Next time I will take pics and post them.

But I really wish that the cold weather would come and some of that rain you all get to enjoy would be nice. Droughts are not fun to live through. And with the water police keeping watch, swimming pools are not really selling well right now. But if we stay here much longer, hubby does not know it, but we are getting a freaking built in pool. Then I will probably be whinning about it not be hot enough to go swimming. Although if I was not in so much shoulder pain and looking like Frankenstein's sister right now, I would just drive over to one of the families pools. Just about all of them have pools, which is why we don't get one. It is just cheaper to use theirs. But if gas keeps going up again, then it will be cheaper to get our own. Well not really.

Gotta go check the air conditioner temp again, 72 is just not cold enough, 50 would be great. And if you see Old Man Winter could you please send him down here? Please, please, please.

God bless.

VE said...

mrsupole - I have a friend in Sun City...are you close to there?