Sunday, September 06, 2009

Return to the Lord of the Rings - Part 3

If you’ve missed prior episodes, you can catch them here: 1,2

We return to find our new fellowship discussing ways to get rid of the rings for good.

Apparently the best course of action was still walking for hundreds of miles on foot without maps or roads going through dangerous terrain and trespassing on everything possible to get to Mordor and throw all the rings into Mt. Doom even though they have the Millenium Falcon.

At this point Gandalf announces that he’s got another errand to run and cannot join them for awhile.

So they throw another fake party for Bilbo who by this time is 1,111 or something like that. While the hobbits are getting drunk and bragging about the proper amount of hair that should be on a hobbit’s feet, they slip on down the road.

So with the Old Forest gone to a new model neighborhood they opted for an old neighborhood instead and took off through the slums of lower Hobbiton.

It was a little known tragedy that not all Hobbits had accommodating homes with lovely gardens.

By this time the Terrifying Seven (they had to change their name from Magnificent to conform to the bad guys standards ordinances set up after the last great war) had made it across the river and were searching for them on horseback knowing full well they were walking where it would be impossible for horses to go. But they looked too cool and ominous to do anything else.

Tune in next episode for their flight to Rivendale

36 comments:

subtorp77 said...

Is it me or does R2-D2 keep getting smaller? And why not just use the Falcon?

Baino said...

Ouch . . . the binder pinch! Almost as incidious as the paper cut

Beth said...

I am devastated to learn that not all Hobbits live in those cutesy little thatched cottages. Those homes were the only reason I ever considered dating a Hobbit... ;)

Kurt said...

The Lord of the Rings has a lion in it, right?

VE said...

subtorp77 - Remember...it's still a long time ago...the rest of them came over in the deLorean (and why they can't use that is simply a plot hole...)

VE said...

baino - Both are quite debilitating...

VE said...

beth - It's true...just like not all Bavarians live in a castle...

VE said...

kurt - Nice try. Aslan is in the Chronicles of Narnia series... which is actually about religion.

Quirkyloon said...

Slums of Hobbiton?

Horrific! Just horrific! That Bilbo Baggins couldn't provide seeds and flowers and soil to ensure that all Hobbits lived in the Garden of Shire?

Tsk, tsk, tsk!

Maureen said...

"Obeone" ?

"Obeone"???????

Oh, how disappointed I am VE. You should know how to spell Obi-Wan....

Elizabeth said...

So in the hobbit slums are there hobbits that stand on the corner holding signs that say "Will work for billberry wine" or something like that??

VE said...

quirkyloon - Remember, there are always haves and have nots...even in fantasy.

VE said...

maureen - Ha! So I found your parody hot button, eh? I knew it was there somewhere. OF COURSE I know how to spell it! ;)

VE said...

elizabeth - Ha! Probably so...and I'll bet their quite good at it!

ReformingGeek said...

Oh, VE! Thank you for bringing Hans into the story again and little R2D2 is probably having some smallness issues by now.

Janna said...

It's sad to think of Treebeard being cut down and used for humankind's selfish purposes...

Though it does explain the screams I hear whenever I sharpen this pencil.

The Incredible Woody said...

That is the best umbrella. Ever.

VE said...

reforminggeek - I never said anything would make sense here. The small R2D2 is just another example...

janna - Treebeard actually escaped and is forming a rebel alliance with the other ents...

incredible - I see you feel the same way about rain...

Ronda Laveen said...

I am happy to learn that the Ents escaped. I was worried about who would carry Merry and Pippin. Unless...they didn't make the cut to the final 7. Hey, who are the seven anyway?

JennyMac said...

binder pinch...OUCH.

This is TOO funny. Excellent job on photoshop and the quotes.

Gladys said...

Does this mean I should look for them on my plane ride back to La-la land?

Jaime said...

i want one of those big umbrellas so i can give people the finger every time it rains.

VE said...

ronda - Yes, the ents love carrying Merry & Pippin...I believe they're small enough for them to be carry-on too...

VE said...

jennymac - You've obviously tangled with a binder ring as well and know what I speak of...

VE said...

gladys - Of course...they're the ones trying to look inconspicuous in Star Wars outfits...

VE said...

jaime - I think they're going to be very popular!

Janna said...

"Treebeard actually escaped and is forming a rebel alliance with the other ents..."


He escaped?
Really?
Wow; he must have learned to run a lot faster than the last time I saw him...

VE said...

janna - He doesn't have to run very fast actually; he's pretty big and can step on most things he doesn't like.

Megan said...

I'm so confused.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

How'd you get a photo of my house?

VE said...

megan - Your confusion has been heard, laughed at and ignored. The gnomes love to do that...

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - I stalk all my readers...

Anne said...

I hate catching up on your blog after a holiday weekend.

wait, you stalk all your readers? whew! I need an alibi.

VE said...

anne - I always blame everything on the gnomes. They don't like me doing that but they can take it...

Mrsupole said...

Okay VE, can you please tell PC that this is a picture of my childhood home and not his. I mean my dad built me that Juliet Balcony and I think I know how many times he made me climb up and down that ladder to hand him those pieces of wood. And dang it, I had to go to Office Depot and then break all the pieces off of the pallets in the back. Does PC have any idea of how many splinters I got doing that? I mean look at the place now, we never hung our dirty laundry out to dry. Oh okay, maybe that is PC's new house, but it used to be ours. Sigh.

God bless.

VE said...

mrsupole - Sounds like you're ready to stand up and fight for your patch of third world!