Tuesday, September 22, 2009

You Asked for it

You know, I actually got a lot of suggestions a few days ago and while I did start the story voting poll and have even posted the first one, there are a lot of other suggestions to do. I guess I’ve got to get busy. That’s hard to do when you’re trying to be one with your slothness. Here’s the list:

Where do Tupperware lids go? (anne)

Spoofing Oprah’s blog (reforminggeek)

Other uses for condoms (ronda)

Silly Toy Packaging (bonnie)

VE bowel movements (quirky)

More VE travel stories (elizabeth)

A Day in the Life of VE; with embellishments (beth)

Look for some of these in future posts. You have been warned. Now; since I haven’t been productive at all, I’ll fill in with some stupid photos for today’s humor.

Seriously, this is an actual cover shot. What were they thinking? Oh, that’s right, it’s fashion, they’re not thinking…

Now this next one…I don’t know, I just think Conan’s skin looks like one of those Mission Impossible masks that he’s gonna whisk off to reveal that he’s actually still Leno in disguise.


Oh, and that hair? Better lay off the Viagra shampoo there, Conan…

And finally….are you one of those people that feel you’ve been walking on egg shells? Then have I got the couch for you

57 comments:

Mrsupole said...

First again, I am on a roll!!!!!

Mrsupole said...

Okay, the butt crack one is really funny when you finally do see it and I wonder if JLo will get the person fired who put that picture on the cover. It did make me LOL. I wonder how long it will take for someone to be brave enough to point this out to her.

And I have laughed at Conan's hair for years now. I think he does it to make himself look even taller, which he is already a giant anyway, so it makes one so confused as to why he wears it that way. But since his hair line is receding maybe he will buzz cut it sometime.

And you know I own one of those couches, but I do have bright yellow pillows on mine and a brown rug under it. That way when someone sits on it a little too fast then everything still matches. But I am getting a little tired of the neighbors who come over each Saturday night and sneak off with their Sunday breakfast. And they still haven't had me over as their guest yet. If they would just get their own chickens like I have, then they could have their own couch. The fricken egg thieves, who do they think they are.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Oh yeah, I was first last Tuesday too. I am really on a roll.

star said...

和歌山 デリヘル
神戸 デリヘル
姫路 デリヘル
大阪 デリヘル
京都 デリヘル
奈良 デリヘル
大阪 デリヘル
神戸 デリヘル
和歌山 デリヘル
奈良 デリヘル
京都 デリヘル
神戸 デリヘル
姫路 デリヘル
和歌山 デリヘル
奈良 デリヘル
京都 デリヘル
大阪 デリヘル
南大阪 デリヘル
大阪 デリヘル

star said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
star said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
star said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
subtorp77 said...

Viagra shampoo-LMAO! And hey! Looks like the new Asian spammer has more to say than Mrsupole-LOL!

VE said...

mrsupole - What's funny is that I saw the butt crack immediately... go figure. Oh, and the couch comes in white too...

VE said...

subtorp77 - Uggh, what's up with being spammed on my current post? That's a first for me; they usually catch the older ones.

Jacki said...

You know, Conan has always bothered me, and I just figured it out. It's his skin! It looks unnatural. Thanks for pointing that out.

VE said...

jacki - You're welcome. I'm here to point out the obvious and stoopid!

moooooog35 said...

You could kill two birds with one stone by combining the 'VE's Bowel Movements' and 'Other uses for condoms' stories.

Water balloons have never been so messy!

unfinishedrambler said...

VE Bowel Movements? Oh, no, I hope you don't have photos. ;) Oh, and please don't use that as an excuse to have them.

VE said...

moooooog35 - That's a good idea! Actually, I think my bowel movements can kill more than two birds though...

VE said...

unfinishedrambler - I feel we'll be in the need of a 'puppies and rainbows' post right after that one, eh?

mama-face said...

Oh, I'm not the only one who has wondered about Conan...he seems like such an anomaly in today's beauty obsessed world. Take Jennifer Lopez for example...Please no ugly celebrities.

So that's what spam looks like. hmm

subtorp77 said...

VE, dunno. I had to go to moderation to stop it. 'Tis prob'ly an Asian porn spammer and the latest one causing havoc. ( wondering if "butt crack" was a key word, here-LOL! )

Elizabeth said...

I love Reforminggeek's idea about spoofing Oprah’s blog! I would love to see what you do with it!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Conan looks like he stepped out of the move "There's something about Mary."

Quirkyloon said...

Aw, leave poor Conan alone. He's got quite a nice cowlick their.

And judging from the rest, he should be grateful!

Ouch!

That was mean, especially for me.

Ha!

Beth said...

Stared at that dress for a long time (won’t say how long) and still can’t figure it out. Never mind the ass crack, what happens to it when you try and sit down?
Looking forward to the future posts – especially the one that covers my suggestion!

VE said...

mama-face - I guess from the standpoint of actually seeing somebody NOT beautiful make it then I'm ok with it...if I don't have to look at him...

Kurt said...

和歌山 デリヘル
神戸 デリヘル
姫路 デリヘル
大阪 デリヘル
京都 デリヘル
奈良 デリヘル
大阪 デリヘル
神戸 デリヘル
和歌山 デリヘル
奈良 デリヘル
京都 デリヘル
神戸 デリヘル
姫路 デリヘル
和歌山 デリヘル
奈良 デリヘル
京都 デリヘル
大阪 デリヘル
南大阪 デリヘル
大阪 デリヘル

VE said...

subtorp77 - They've seemed to stop now on this post. We'll see. I'd hate to put on moderation. Now...we should see if somebody can decipher the code. I'll call Dan Brown...

VE said...

elizabeth - I'm curious to see what I'll do with it too. I'm sure it won't be pretty. I'll probably tackle that one next.

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Maybe he could do the sequel...there's something about Conan...

VE said...

quirkyloon - Ha! Very mean, there quirky...the gnomes are proud! Besides, I always keep a cow lick out back...you never know when you need some salt...

VE said...

beth - Ha! Good point...I'm guessing it turns J-Lo on the half shell...

VE said...

kurt - Ha! You win this round of comments for that cruel joke. The gnomes are still laughing!

Starrlight said...

Those are some interesting subjects. Interesting.

J Lo and her ass need to fade to obscurity already.

subtorp77 said...

VE, or we could send Kurt on after 'em-LOL! Ooooh that was sooo bad of him-HA!

ReformingGeek said...

Hum....Conan's hair. I think he's got a nest up there. I wonder what he looks like without all the airbrushing.

I thought the dress was a nun's habit gone terribly wrong.

Gladys said...

looks more like Georgia O'Keefe designed it. You know it's got that vintage vulva look to it.

Don't get me started on Conan the Boneman. Honestly isn't he just a robot like on West World? Or Stepford Wives. Would that make him the Stepford Talk Show Host?

Ronda Laveen said...

Conan? Tee Hee.

Kurt? Tee Hee.

nursemyra said...

Conan looks like he has a merkin on his head

VE said...

starrlight - I can't agree more re: JLo...

VE said...

subtorp77 - Yes, Kurt's comment was up there on my top 5 most classic comebacks...

VE said...

reforminggeek - Everything thing about that dress is wrong...I guess they could give it to the nuns...what harm would there be?

VE said...

gladys - A Westworld robot...excellent observation. The gnomes are laughing...

VE said...

ronda - Kurt steals my wind...again!

VE said...

nursemyra - Perhaps he's from the planet Merkin...

Roy Scribner said...

Walking on egg shells? And don't it feel good!

Baino said...

Ooh bit of spam there. Apparently today was the Spring/Autumn Equinox and it was possible for a short window of opportunity to stand an egg on it's end for up to 10 minutes. True!

Janna said...

Ooooh!
When I was in college, I went through this phase where I was totally obsessed with Conan O'Brien. (This would've been in the early 90's when he first got his Late Night show).

I loved him more than dung beetles love big giant steaming turds.

Really.

I collected newspaper clippings, magazine articles, interviews, photos, everything Conan-esque.
When I learned he'd started dating someone else, I was actually mad at him. (!!!)

*sigh*.

I would have made SUCH a good stalker.

Now, of course, I'm past my prime and am reduced to just pointing and grunting at people on the computer screen who are capable of holding my attention for more than 2 minutes at a time.

(**pointing**)
(**grunt!!**)

Mrsupole said...

OOOhhh, I am not sure what is scarier, a spammer or someone obsessed with Conan.

But I just had to comment on Kurt's comment. Yes, Kurt's comment does rate near the top and he stole the thunder of the spammer. But where is the spammanater. I am still cleaning up my spam mess and just wish someone could shut them down. Oh well, maybe I should just come off of break and post one word posts to see which word they are attracted to. But when I got spammed I did not say Butt Crack in my post so I do not think that is it.

I hate spammers.

God bless.

Anne said...

what's with the kanji?

Anne said...

does this make sense to anyone?

Wakayama Deriheru
Kobe Deriheru
Himeji Deriheru
Osaka Deriheru
Kyoto Deriheru
Nara Deriheru
Osaka Deriheru
Kobe Deriheru
Wakayama Deriheru
Nara Deriheru
Kyoto Deriheru
Kobe Deriheru
Himeji Deriheru
Wakayama Deriheru
Nara Deriheru
Kyoto Deriheru
Osaka Deriheru
Minami Osaka Deriheru
Osaka Deriheru

(that's what the Japanese says)

VE said...

roy - Sure does...as long as I'm wearing boots and it's not my house.

baino - And who figured out this weird egg standing thing, anyway?

janna - You're welcome to stalk me. I have been featured in the newspaper twice (once in 1978 and once in the mid 80s). There should even be local news footage of me from 1988 after Hurricane Gilbert...I made three local news channels and Nightline for that one.

mrsupole - I wonder how the makers of Spam feel about people calling them spammers?

anne - Now how did you figure that out? All I see are little boxes. Do you have an Asian language package running on your computer? I think that you've stumbled upon the Deriheru family reunion email...

Anne said...

cut and paste into the language tools on google.

VE said...

anee - Doh! Should have known. I suppose next you're going to tell me I should slice my bread before I toast it...

Jaime said...

interesting list... PLEASE skip the bowel movements though...

VE said...

jaime - Ha! Scary thought, isn't it?

Hit 40 said...

You have to delete that crap from star. I usually do not delete comments. But, I definitely delete foreign porn spam.

...anyway great ideas from your loyal subjects. I look forward to the condom post. Phallic jokes are my favorite.

Maureen said...

So I am assuming there are no Japanese words for SEO, sod, spurs or DVDs????

Huh.

Mrsupole said...

VE,

You really should delete the spam from Star because if someone accidently clicks it on then they will be stuck with the spammer crap, and it really is a lot of crap that they send. I think the words that set mine off was pain pills. Especially since most of my new spam is about if I want to buy any pain pills. I felt like saying to these idiots that of course I do not want to buy any, cause uh duh I get them from my health insurance.

I guess if one does become addicted to them it is nice to know how easy it is to keep the addiction going.

God bless.

VE said...

hit 40 - Ok, I deleted three of the four; but if I delete the last one, it invalidates Kurt's classic comment...

maureen - I guess spurs aren't big in Japan. They tend to like samuri's better

mrsupole - I delete three out of the four. The last one is still there so that kurt's comment makes sense...